Okay....first of all you suck because I, the great Mustadio, hate AOL...it sucks. Second of all, I don't remember you being my pal...in fact, I fought your slimy ass and beat ya! Ha ha ha! Now for your questions...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM, GAMEPRO OR SOMETHING???? Damn you, how should I know where those thingys are? And even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you because you are an aol user...I hate Aol users!! Ha haha! Now go home before I get mad =).

MUSTADIO

11/24/98

Howdy folks out there! (now don't start taking me for a hick!) I'm getting more popular out there (gee wonder why?) =). Hope you people are ready to stuff yer'selves and become world class fat asses..HA HA HA..anyway, this is the last letter before the holidays of Thanksgiving so "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!"---...u fat asses...----.

Dear Mustadio,

First things first, I'm a girl. And I'm not gay when I say love and admiration for Agrias, I just mean she's the greatest character in Final Fantasy Tactics. Here's my question concerning you. When you join my party, why the HELL is it that you are at a measily LEVEL 12 while everyone else is at like, level 25?! Guess you really are a worthless wimp. Go home to Besrodio, you're due in for a lotta spankings! Crazy son of a b****!

Rizzo

---

*SIGH* FIRST OF all, I compliment you on your compliments of Agrias. She really is something eh? okay...now for the other thing...YOU SUCK. I come at level 12 because if I came any stronger, there'd be no challenge to the game..I'd be to strong! I'M NOT WORTHLESS! I'm just.....what's that I hear? Is that your mommy calling you girl? OH SORRY! Better go home and get YOUR spankings..hee hee..and if papa ever tries to spank me, I'll give him a wedgy..just like Sayion_Boy HA HA HA HA HA.

MUSTADIO

11/24/98 Heeeeeeeeeyllo everyone! I got another letter! Hee hee! This one's from someone who did't want to give his name, I suppose. Gee...it's not like I'm gonna reveal anything online =)....hey, why you looking at me like that? I promise I won't reveal anything!

---

Dear Mustadio,

Yesterday Agrias told me she doesn't like you anymore and shes going steady whit Ramza now.

No name specified(email this person please)

---

First of all,it's obvious you don't know anything cause YOU CAN'T SPELL FOR SHIT!!!!! ahem...anyway I think your full of it, Mr, or Ms or whatever you are! Man...now I know your definatley full of it...can't even tell what the hell u are...*shudder*

MUSTADIO

11/23/98

---

Ha ha ha...I'm getting popular! Got a couple of letters sent to moi!! Ha ha ha...ahhh.I'm gettin ready for thanksgiving and these letters would make dandy napkins for me :) Here we go now with the first letter sent in by Citan-Uzuki

---

Dear Mustadio,

You crazy SOB! Heh heh! Don't ever change buddy! But settle down a little! Advice from a friend! Just take a deep breath and come enjoy some cold Sam Adams with me! (But if you wanna moon cars, that's your beez-wax!) Ok, this is "Ask Mustadio" so I may as well include a question! Does your popsy know about your behavior? And why is Delita whining about pudding when, as a king by Ovelia's side, he can bye all the pudding he wants? Just a thought, y'know?

Citan Uzuki

---

ME? MOONING CARS?? WHERE THE HELL DID U GET THAT IDEA KIDDO? Ah but them Sam Adams do sound nice...gimme yer phone number and addy (NO I'M NOT GAY!) and the both of us can enjoy some of those (you paying, right?) Sam Adams. AS for your question, I think Delita is just being spoiled. He knows he can buy all the pudding cups and stuff, but he's whining just to get Ramza's attention :). Now, I shouldn't be spreading rumors and stuff, but he does alot of things to try and catch his attention ~_^.

MUSTADIO

11/01/98

---

Hey there, punks! How'd ya all enjoy yer Halloween? I enjoyed mine! I trick or treated since 5:00 in the afternoon and stopped at 10:00! Wheee! i got lots of candy! Those shitty butterscotch candies, jawbreakers and cheap candies(like the Brach's brand Pic-a-Mix) were all given out to the little trick or treaters...easy way to get rid of the candy you don't want. Ah, hell, today I'm on my ass reading this toilet paper, er letter and munching on butterfingers..

---

Dear Mustadio,

I think I know why you are always so angry all the time. You are probably trying to get back at Ramza-chan for telling worker 8 to beat you up! Either that or you just need a lot of help (mentaly). If so, I know a great pchyciatrist that could help you.

Sayion_Boy

---

Hmm...it has nothing to do with that, believe me, worker 8 got his just deserts, that damn tin can with bolts for brains! I left him out in the rain for a while...WELL HE NEEDED THE SOOTHING FEEL OF SPRING RAIN!! HA HA HAHAHHA!! What? You think I need help? You say that one more time, and I'll come up behind ya, reach for your underwear AND DRIVE IT UP YER ASS, GIVING YOU A WEDGY!! HA HA HA!! I AM NOT CRAZY!! HA HA HAHAHAH!!!

MUSTADIO

10/5/98

---

Good day out there, you crabby little morons out there! I'm finally back in buisness! I got another letter, finally! You all love me so much..*sniff*! Okay, this piece of junk, er, letter is from Maker and what a strange name you have, maker!

---

Dear Mustadio,

Hey, I love you, Mustadio, I find people that condescend others constantly to be the sexiest life on the planet! Would you have my children??!?! =)

Maker

---

Hey, now, I don't do that gay stuff! Try Delita Hyral or Ramza BEoulve! I'm sure they'd love to have your kids! If you can't, you can make yourself straight again by calling 1-800-USA-BABES and trust me this IS a real hotline with horny chikcs. The action there is sure to get your mind off me.

MUSTADIO

9/9/98

---

Hello, hello, I'm back! What happened? Well no one wanted to send a letter to me!!!I've been sittin' on my ass for a whole month, dammit! But not today...cause today....I GOT A LETTER! AND THIS TIME, THE DUDE DOSEN'T MIND SPECIFYING HIS EMAIL ADDRESS! Anyway, Rizzo has a rather, uh, nice letter for me. Let's see what's on his mind....

---

Dear Mustadio

Why are you so cruel? You brute! I bet even that moody, double crossing, hunchbacked piece of crap Dycedarg could run a mailbag better than you! If you weren't dead and about 400,000 years old, I'd kill you you medevil scum!!

Rizzo,
with love and admiration for Agrias.

---

*Sigh* Me cruel? You @##in asshole, what gave you that idea? Are you trying to ruin me? If you are, nice try!! And....who says I'm dead? I'm here shooting my trap and reading these piece of shit letters which could be useful to us midevilers for toilet paper and YOU SAY I'M DEAD? and by the way....AGRIAS IS MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU @#$#$%#%@$#@#@@#$#%$^%&#$^%$$$$$$$$$$$$&$%^$#@$#@#@$%#^$##%@##
(CRONO stuffs Mustadio)

MUSTADIO

7/20/98

---

Well, well well!!!! Sephiroth_18 here has sent us a letter asking a question even I wonder myself.

---

Dear Mustadio

I'm wondering......is Rufus Shinra related to the male knights in Final Fantasy Tactics? they look almost alike! Do you think maybe one of the knights was his anscestors?

Sephiroth_18 (no email address specified)

---

WHY the hell are you asking me this? Does it look like I care? Do you really need to know?............(looks at an angry Ramza) Okay, okay, I'll answer you because Ram-chan said that this is his page and he expects me to do a good job of running this column. Anyway, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR DAMN EYES, MAN, THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE EACH OTHER! Rufus Shinra and the male knights are NOT related, though I do remember once Andy, one of the knights, had a REALLY wild night going on with this female knight named Alicia and....oh, well, I don't need to go into the details....

MUSTADIO

7/20/98

---

Hmm....a young lady by the name of Tifa has written about a VERY interesting question that I'd be more than happy to answer! +_+

---

Dear Mustadio

WHAT ON EARTH happened to Ramza's ponytail? I played till after Chapter 1, and it never mentioned anything. how did he lose it?

Tifa

---

Well, my dear, he ran out of toilet paper. Figure the rest out yourself.

MUSTADIO

7/20/98

---

La la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa *fart* whoops! Heh heh, ignore that. Sorry about being so happy it's just that I'm getting mail! Okay today we've got a letter by Lisa a young lady from Texas. She asks.............

---

Dear Mustadio,

I have a problem. See, I have a boyfriend and we really like each other but the other day, I just went out ONE TIME with another guy just to get him off my back and he gets all angry! Mustadio, he's gonna break up with me what do I do?

Lisa

---

Well, Lisa first of all WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM, DEAR ABBEY? I got better things to do, like farting and stuff! But if you insist on an answer, here it is, plain and simple.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU @#$%^!!!!

MUSTADIO

7/17/98

---

Okay, here first letter today. This is sent from a young man named Allen. Let's see what kinds of questions or comments he has for me today.

---

Dear Mustadio,

Hello there. You are not Mustadio! I am MUSTADIO! You imposter. I should be the one writing to people! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU!

Allen,
The One and Only, MUSTADIO!

---

Alrighty, I didn't know some other couple named thier kid Mustadio. Gee, how swell. Anyway, kid, it's nice to pretend your someone else for fun, but sometimes you can get into trouble if you do it too much. But hey, at least you had good taste in choosing me to be imitated! *sigh*

MUSTADIO

Well folks, that's all the mail I recieved so far, keep sending it in! Please send your questions and comments to the Mailbag and I'll be happy to read it and answer your questions on the net! Please address the subject as Mustadio's Mail. Until next time, adios!!!

You are the to come here.

Go back to the main page

---