Welcome to the Journal of Now and Forever. This Journal is a collection of my Star Control and Star Control 2 fiction. Note: Some of this material is, by necessity, extrapolation from the slim information provided by canon sources.

New fiction is posted first at My Livejournal before it appears here. This story is in response to 15 Minute Ficlets' Challenge #85.

I don’t know how much more there will be to write.

We've finally made contact with aliens, and if all accounts are correct, they are winning. We are doomed.

I write this in the hope that someday, someone might find it, that if we are exterminated by the aliens, maybe the Earthlings will find this journal, or even another alien race, one that might be interested in the life of a few sterile clones on a planet far from their home.

Doesn't that sound dramatic. But it worked for Samuel Pepys – his diary made him famous long after his death. And lately, death is... close by, in thought if not in fact.

We aren't entirely sure what the aliens want – no real word has come down from 'on high' – except that they want us to surrender. I suppose that's better than annihilating us completely, although perhaps it's just delaying the inevitable. The Guardians do their best, but the aliens have numbers. I know that was always our greatest fear, that something would attack us with superior numbers, because we can't afford attrition. Every Androsynth lost is gone forever.

Now I understand, I think, a bit more about why reproduction is important to Earthlings. Not only does it grant them superior numbers against their enemies (whether us or, historically, other humans of different tribes or nations), but it is immortality of a sort. Yes, we Androsynth are functionally immortal – until we die. Then what is left? With offspring, children, to carry on the genetic code, your genes are immortal if you yourself aren't... either via mitochondrial DNA in the female, or the Y-code DNA in the male...

Now, too, I think I understand the position of the religious. They believe they have an immortal soul, that they have a place set aside for them in Heaven, so they might continue their lives there... I can understand it, but I don’t think I believe it. No one has ever sent a message from the 'other side,' after all, and there is no proof that such a thing exists, that there is life after death...

Dina and the Advisors and Consuls have ordered everyone who hasn't updated their genetic samples to do so, in case of emergency. The samples – we started those after Advisor Tomo died years ago – we all know that everyone's DNA is subtly changed as life goes on, so even two clones might have slightly different DNA based on experiences. The spacers in particular have probably accumulated more mutations than those of us on the ground, though of course I have no proof of such or even an idea of how many more mutations there might be. If we can learn to clone, barring actual reproduction, perhaps we can 'bring back' those deceased clones who left an intact genetic sample...

The aliens are very methodical; they attack only enough to defeat a ship, without waste of life. If we knew more about them, the aliens I mean, we would know whether this bodes for good or ill.... some of the spacers have reportedly been taken prisoner by the aliens, and we don't know what's happened to them.

Consul Kurt wants the capital ships loaded for evacuation, but the aliens advance so quickly that we don't know if the ships would even make it out of the system. Still, the evacuation plans proceed. We might make it. If we knew where to go. If we knew how far the aliens' influence reached. If we wanted to try going back to Earth and begging sanctuary and hoping they didn't immediately attack us.

This is a nightmare. Nobody will say it, so I will type it here: the Guardians can't defend us from the onslaught. They can only sacrifice themselves to buy time for our escape. And if we do escape – then what? Another Exodus? Where to?

Oren reports there have been two suicides this morning, one in Whitehills, one near the Pyroxa mining facility.

~Personal journal of CRC-16 "Grif" Reproductive Researcher

Comments? Email me: laridian at aol dot com