Elmer Studios presents...
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MSTing no. 28. Sorry this has taken so long, but we've both been *very*
busy, and it's just plain annoyingly long. And dull. Did I mention dull?
Bubblegum Shift is copyright Brett Handy (Darkwind) who couldn't come up
with a more generic fanfic if he tried.
Bubblegum Crisis is copyright Artmic/Youmex.
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[The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation
in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video
recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small
kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk,
home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side.]
[Dan and Rick enter]
Dan: So, you saw them. What did you think?
Rick: Well, to be honest I was far from impressed. I mean, Blonde Nene?
And Linna looked terrible. But I guess the worst of them was Sylia.
Dan: Well, I'll admit it's a new look for her...
Rick: Thar's an understement. Long, flowing, wavy light blue hair? Very
pale skin? Willowy figure? No way. Sylia should look hard and business-
like. Not like Ifurita.
Dan: And what's wrong with looking like Ifurita?
Rick: Nothing wrong with the design. It's just that it's totally
inaprorpiate for the character.
[Rebecca and Tsuneo enter]
Rebecca: But it makes for a pretty cool joke, given all the "Sylia is a
boomer" crap that has proliferated over the years. And who do they model
her on? Ifurita, a robotic demon.
Rick: I did't think of that.
Rebecca: You don't think of much.
Rick: Hey!
Dan: [Sniggers]
Tsuneo: So what were you two on about?
Dan: We saw some of the character and mechanical designs for the new
Bubblegum Crisis 2040 TV series. Rick hates them.
Rebecca: As much as I hate to agree with Rick-
Rick: Hey!
Rebecca: He is right. I just don't think the KS look that good. I mean,
Priss, Linna and Nene are pretty generic-looking, and Sylia's all wrong.
At least they fixed Priss's hair.
Rick: While totally screwing up Nene and Linna's.
Rebecca: There is that. However, I suspect that pretty soon it'll be back
to "Me Priss, you kill me friend, you die." Togg. Insert sound of Motor-
slave breaking. Repeat.
Rick: Probably.
Rebecca: Not that there seems to be any Motorslaves.
Dan: well, we've only seen the early stuff. And Sylia's still equipping
them, you know.
Rick: Great. So Priss can break it as the series goes along.
Rebecca: The other thing that got me was Quincy's new look. I mean,
the original Quincy was this HUGE guy with a big grin and deep voice
who looked surprisingly youg, fit and strong for his 70 odd years. New
Quincy - this frail, wringled old guy who can't walk, can't talk and
can't even live without a machine to help him. It's a pretty crappy
trteatment of a cool villain.
Rick: I suspect Largo will be back.
Rebecca: Ad infinitum.
Tsuneo: I dunno about that. So far the story's been pretty different.
Dan: So what do you think about them.
Tsuneo: Well... I like the designs-
Rebecca: Of course, coming from the world's number 1 drooling El Hazard
fan.
Tsuneo: [Pointedly ignoring her] But I will agree that they don't fit
the original Sabres. The thing you have to remember is that the
characters have been changed as well. So I think they fit their new
characters.
Rebecca: Get real. They look terrible.
Tsuneo: Now, they look different. Just try not to think of them as
the same people.
Dan: Well, I like the new-look Knight Sabres. They're babes!
Rebecca: That's so typical of you.
Dan: Thanks... Hey!
Rick: So, we get any fanmail?
[Tsuneo goes over to the computer and clicks on a few clicky things.]
Tsuneo: Here's one from Keith Palmer, on "Macross Chronicles."
> After the SVAM pages were finally updated, I went looking for interesting
> MSTings. My very first thought when seeing them was that you had been
> rather prolific lately, with three new MSTings by you mentioned. Of
> course, this might have something to do with the irregular schedule of
> updates.
> Getting beyond complaints about something you can't do anything about, I
> downloaded your MSTing of "Macross Chronicles" to read. No sooner had I
> seen my e-mail in "Bubblegum Shift Part 2" over getting an obscure
> reference, I realised I had to send you another e-mail about getting the
> "43 man Squamish" reference, about the game in which ties are resolved by
> shouting dirty limericks at the opposing team until one side breaks down
> laughing.
Rick: Ha! Someone got that! I don't belive it!
> (Don't worry too much; I'm not some malign figure capable of
> reading every reference you make, no matter how obscure.
Dan: But you'll probably come close.
Rick: I take that as a challenge.
> I suspected there
> was deep significance in the name "Perkins" in the running gag, but
> couldn't figure out if that was true or not.)
Rebecca: Actually, I just made it up.
> Otherwise, the fanfic you MSTed was pleasantly incoherent. (I probably
> shouldn't use the word "pleasant"; it likely wasn't pleasant for you.)
Rick: It was in a sort of warped way.
Tsuneo: The most fun headache I've had in ages.
> It's another one of those works that sort of demands to be made fun of, and
> I enjoyed the work you'd done on it.
> I'll also add a brief word of appreciation of your work on MSTing "Neon
> Exodus Evangelion". Having read the original, I'm intrigued by the
> theories your characters are assembling to explain the story. I won't say
> too much, but they may be getting worked up over technical matters again in
> the near future.
Tsuneo: [Groans] That bodes.
> Keep up the good work!
> Keith Palmer | Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than
> krjpalme@sciborg.uwaterloo.ca | they appear.
> University of Waterloo |
Tsuneo: And one from Mike Surbrook on NXE 1.3
>> In EVA-01's singed hands were a pair of the handcannons he'd
>>done so well with in the first battle; now he raised them, let the
>>fluid grace of the EVA flow into him, and fired off a double volley.
> Mohan (sighs): DJ Croft to the rescue...again.
> Rebecca: Here we go again. EVA's at the friggin' OK Corral! Someone's
> been playing Quake too much.
> Samantha: I don't care how cool he thinks he is, Chow-Yun-Fat does it
> better.
> Tsuneo: Have you met the "Empress" Shion? She has a thing for him, too.
> I'd swear she has a drooling shrine to him hidden away somewhere.
> Samantha: Don't let her even hear you've said that.
> Hold on! That's not Shion who has the hots for Chow Yun-Fat, it's Ling
> Ling! Shion lusts after Dark Schneider!
Rebecca: Don't worry. I'll beat in Tsuneo's head for that glaring oversight.
Tsuneo: [Gulps]
Dan: So, anything else.
Tsuneo: Yeah. There's a couple from Paul Fauth. here's what he said on
"Too Hot To Handle".
> Not well, seriously not well at all
Tsuneo: And on SMAK 11...
> AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rick: Our thoughts exactly.
Voice: Hi there.
Rebecca: Hello Head.
Rick: So, get to the point. What's today's pain?
Voice: Well... Today we're continuing with a fic that Rebecca and Dan
have been watching.
Dan: Not... Bubblegum Shift.
Rebecca: Part Three.
Dan: Of a world pain.
Tsuneo: That bad?
Rebecca: BGC SI. Saved Irene and Sho's mum. Knight Saber's intellects
falling by the second. Need you know more?
Dan: Also with run-on sentences and commas a-plenty!
[They all sit - Dan next to Rebecca on the forwards couch, Rick and
Tsuneo on the other one. Rick and Dan are next to each other on the
corners.]
[The TV screen lights up.]
> A Bubblegum Crisis FanFic
> Bubblegum Shift
Rick: There's an extra...
Dan: Did that.
Rebecca: Twice.
> Part 3
> by
> Brett Handy
Rebecca [Shrill]: Read a book!
> Kathy Thomas forced open one eyelid, looking around her room
> she tried to determine what it was that had woken her. Usually
> she slept
Rebecca: With anyone avalible.
Tsuneo: Too easy.
> only briefly and even then only lightly - but in the
> last week, she had done double-duty down at ADP headquarters and
> was over-tired.
Dan: And under-written.
> There came another insistent knock at her apartment door.
Rick: Another one? What happened to the first one?
> She glanced over at the clock, it was only a
> little after seven in the evening,
Tsuneo: Kathy really likes to sleep in till late.
> "Who could that be?",
Rebecca [Cynical]: As If I couldn't guess.
Dan: [Moans]
> she
> thought to herself. Stretching as she got up and walked from her
> room, she yawned as she pulled on a robe.
Rick & Dan: Awwwww.
> The knocking repeated itself again, louder, more anxiously.
Rick: Hurry up Kath! I gotta go bathroom!
> Kathy picked up the gun
> that Jim had forced on her a few months earlier, "Never thought
> I'd be glad that I've got this", she thought, grasping the door
> handle and flicking off they pistol's safety.
> She quickly pulled the door open, stepping sideways and
> raising the gun. "Oh, Please, don't shoot!", said a familiar
> voice, sarcastically. Kathy nudged the safety back on, looking
> at the familiar form of DarkWind.
Rick & Tsuneo: Eh?
Dan: Our self-insertion.
Rebecca: Loathe him or hate him. You just can't like him.
> DarkWind was glancing around worriedly, "Well, if you've
> finished threatening me with that pop gun, can I come in?", He
> asked.
Tsuneo: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Rebecca: Bump him dead!
> Kathy nodded, and moved out of his way, "I hope no-body saw
> you arrive", she said worriedly.
Rick: Let's see. A huge, winged, black creature is walking down the
hall. Nope! Don't see anything unusual there.
> He shook his head, "I walked the last mile", he replied,
> wearily.
Dan: Wow. That's possibly as obvious as it gets.
Tsuneo [DarkWind]: Don't mind me. I'm just a figment of your imagination.
Just some toxic chemicals. Yeah.
> Kathy quickly locked the door, flicking on the light switch,
> "Why the hell are you here like this, you'll blow my cover",
All: Naw.
> she
> began angrily. She stopped when she noticed the laser burn on
> his shoulder and the melted mess that was the remains of his jet
> pack.
Rebecca: Say, when did that get busted? It was fine at the end of
the last chapter.
> "I haven't had a good night", DarkWind began.
Dan: It looks like our day will be pretty awful too.
> *****
> Jim winced as Kathy placed the last bandage on his shoulder,
> "You didn't have to be so rough", he complained.
Rebecca [Kathy]: I thought you liked it rough!
> Kathy closed the med kit with a sharp click, "You should
> have been more careful", she said angrily.
Rick: Shouldn't have ret-conned your jetpack.
> Jim held up his hand defensively, "No hitting", he
> admonished her.
Dan: Why not?
> Kathy stood and walked over to Jim's endoskeleton, "When did
> you add the lasers?", she asked, noting the new attachments.
Rebecca: I'm not going to rise to that one.
Dan: Really?
Rebecca: Aw, hell. [Ahem] The *special* attatchments.
Dan: Couldn't help yourself, could you?
> Jim walked over beside her, bending down and turning over his
> armour, "Well, I figured it would be more economical to replace the
> mini-missiles with lasers,
Dan: Say, when *did* he put those lasers in?
Rick: The miracles of ret-cons.
> it's a more versatile weapon", he
> explained. He examined the remains of the armour's jetpack, "Well
> it looks like I won't be flying anywhere soon", he said.
Tsueno: Which makes him a nice, convenient, slow-moving target.
Dan: Diddums. Take a bus.
> Kathy shook her head, and sat back down in a chair, "So where
> to now?", she asked, "I mean, Epsilon Industries has no base of
> operations in Japan anymore, what will we do?".
Dan: Build a new one? The insurance on that building's gotta be worth
something.
> Jim examined the armour for a moment more, before sitting down
> opposite Kathy, "I don't know", he said quietly.
> "What do you mean, 'I don't know', that's not the Jim Williams
> that I've know for the last forty years", she began.
Rebecca: It's certainly not the one I've known for the last two
chapters.
> Jim stood angrily, "I *DON'T* have all the answers",
Tsuneo: That's shocking to hear out of an avatar.
> he
> shouted at her, "I can't even take care of my father's business
> properly!".
> Kathy looked at him calmly, "You're not suppose to have *ALL*
> the answers", she said smiling, "just *most* of them".
Rick: You'll never get anywhere on "Sale of the Century" that way.
> Jim spluttered angrily for a moment more, before slumping down
> into a chair. "Don't try to cheer me up, I don't feel like it",
Tsuneo: That's why she's trying... ah, forget it.
> he said in a defeated tone.
> Kathy stood sharply, "When You're finished wallowing in self-
> pity, you can stay in the spare room",
Tsuneo: Huh? An inner-city Tokyo apartment with room to spare? I gotta
get a picture of that.
> she said, walking towards
> her bedroom, "Oh and try to keep the noise down, my neighbours need
> their sleep too".
> Jim leaned back in his chair, as he heard her switch off the
> lights in her room. "I'm lucky to have her as a friend",
Rick: [Jim] Someone who can be so vacant and boosting of my own ego
at the same time.
> he thought to himself. He relaxed back into the comfortable chair,
> and in moments he was asleep.
> ******
> Kathy woke to the smell of breakfast being
Dan: Torched.
> cooked
Dan: Hopefully by Akane, C-ko and Misato.
> and startled
> by that particular fact she sat bolt upright in bed. Realising who
> she had as a house guest,
Rick: And he, of course, could do everything.
Rebecca: Let's see... Living in someone else's apartment and cooking
them breakfast while being able to do everythign incredibly well...
oh my god. It's DJ Croft.
> she relaxed back to wait for Jim to tell
> her breakfast was ready.
Dan: Ah, get up and get it yourself, you lazy bum.
> Last night was the first time she had
> seen Jim depressed *ever*. It startled her slightly, this friend
> of hers who had always seemed so unemotional, "Well I guess
> everybody gets that way sometimes", she thought to herself.
> The door to her room opened a crack and Jim peered around the
> door, "Kathy... you awake?", he whispered.
Rebecca: [Kathy] Er... No! That'll fool him.
> Kathy smiled and jumped out of bed quickly, "Yup!", she said
> quickly, laughing at his surprised expression.
Rick: Dosed up on too much sugar, but okay.
> Jim looked at her strangely, "Are you feeling alright?",
Tsuneo: [Kathy] No! I'm stuck playing second-fiddle to this god-
awful avatar!
> he asked, "You don't usually run around half-naked".
Rebecca: You obviously don't know her that well.
Tsuneo: That was Croftian levels of arrogance and smarminess.
> Kathy looked down at herself, and blushed, she grabbed up a
> robe quickly, as Jim turned and walked back out of her room
> quickly. Kathy followed slowly, "I've *really* got to get a less-
> revealing night-dress", she thought.
Rick: So why do you wear one like that in the first place?
Dan: Fan service. Not that I'm complaining.
> Jim was sitting eating his breakfast by the time she reached
> the kitchen, he motioned her to eat up. "Come on, I don't often
> get a chance to cook", he said.
Rick: Which is probably a very good thing.
Tsuneo: Another proud graduate of the Akane Tendo school of cooking.
> Kathy had just finished her breakfast when the doorbell rang.
> Jim, walked over to answer it. "Oh no! I forgot I had an aerobics
> class this morning", Kathy thought to herself.
> Jim opened the door, to see a rather attractive looking
> brunette, and a small red head, both wearing leotards, "Yes?", he
> asked.
Rebecca: *That's* why she wears that nightie.
Tsuneo: Although it would probably be smarter to get changed once...
oh, forget it.
Dan: You okay?
Tsueno: Sorry. This just doesn't make any sense.
> ******
> Linna looked up at the young man who opened to door
Dan: So, we've replaced Linna with her BGC 2040 counterpart.
Rick: Bleah.
> and frowned, "Ahh, is Kathy here?",
Rebecca: [Linna] And is she wearing that flimsy nightie?
> she asked. The fellow smiled and
> called over his shoulder, "Kathy, some of your friends are here".
Rebecca: [Jim] And they've bought some whipped cream and a ferret.
Dan: [Slyly] What is with this whipped cream fetish of yours, Rebecca?
Rebecca: [Whacks him with a cushion] Because it's a convenient object
with dirty uses.
Dan: I should watch your bedroom more often. [Rebecca whacks him
repeatedly with a cushion]
Tsueno: [Sighs] The kids are fighting again.
Rick: Get a room, you guys. [He gets pelted with cushions]
> Linna looked at him and frowned, "and you are?", she asked.
Tsuneo: [Jim] Don't you know? I'm god here!
> "The name's Jim, I'm an old friend of Kathy's", he replied,
> offering his hand.
Rick: [Linna] Well hello there, tall, dark and wealthy.
> Now Linna had known Kathy for a few months now, and she had
> never once seen her with guy, well at least not with *this* kind of
> guy. She shook his hand in response, "I'm Linna
Rebecca: [Linna] Marry me!
> and this is Nene",
> Linna responded, indicating her wide-eyed companion.
Rick: That goes without saying.
> Jim nodded and smiled at Nene, "We've already met", he said,
> "Done much dancing lately?", he asked.
Dan: Eh? Where's he pulling his lines from?
> Nene shook her head, "Umm no, I.. Err, I thought that you and
> Kathy...", she began.
Rick: [Jim] Often.
Rebecca: [Kathy] I'm not his girlfriend! And I'm not jealous!
> Kathy appeared a moment later, dressed in her work-out
> clothes, "Well I'm ready, lets go!",
Rebecca: [Linna] What, here? Now? With him watching?
> she said quickly, pushing her way past Jim.
> Linna and Nene found themselves being pulled along towards
> Linna's van. "I'll see you tonight Kathy", Jim called.
Dan: Bubblegum Shift, by Brett "Mr. Make It Easy For Us" Handy.
> *****
> Kathy could almost feel Linna and Nene's questions hanging in
> the air, during the trip. Finally, Nene broke the silence,
Rick: [Blows rasberry] [Nene] Sorreee!
> "Your
> LIVING with him?", she asked shocked, "I thought you were just
> friends".
Tsuneo: She really jumps to conclusions some days.
Dan: Like certain other people.
> "We *are* just friends", Kathy began to explain.
Rebecca: [Kathy] We're just friends! Really! Just good friends!
> "Sure you are", Linna interrupted, "*Very* good friends, it
> looks like".
Rick: Good call, Rebecca.
Dan: Ah, it was too easy anyway.
> "How long have the two of you been doing this?",
Rebecca: [Linna] Sorry, Nene. I should have told you I was seeing
Kathy behind your back.
Dan: [Groans]
> Nene asked breathlessly,
Rebecca: [Kathy] Was it good for you?
Dan: Stop it!
> obviously thinking something romantic judging by the
> look on her face.
Rebecca: [Linna] But I'm driving!
> Kathy sighed, "Only since last night", she said.
Rebecca: [Tries to say something but breaks out laughing]
> Linna looked at her closely, "You only spent one night
> together and he's making you breakfast?, what's your secret?",
Rebecca: [Still laughing]
Rick: [Kathy] I'm also seeing Priss!
> she asked smiling.
> ******
> Jim watched Kathy head off with her friends, noting their
> bemused expressions.
Tsuneo: [Jim] My avatar effect is working.
> "I hope they don't ask any awkward
> questions", he thought to himself.
All: Too late.
> Jim cleaned up the breakfast dishes, and sat down to plan his
> next move.
Rick: [Jim] Pawn to king four.
> Not getting anywhere he flicked on the TV,
Dan: [Jim] I've just lost everything, so I'm gonna couch potato for a
while.
> "And in further news,
Tsuneo: [Newsreader] Thousands of fans cried out in pain as Bubblegum
Shift continued.
> the whereabouts of James Williams the Third are still
> unknown, after last night's terrible attack on Epsilon Industries",
> the announcer began.
Rick: Cue corny Hollywood convenience number 4. The news you want
to see is always on at the right time.
> Jim winced as the news replayed the
> destruction of the Epsilon Towers, "Fortunately there were no
> deaths, although many people were wounded by falling debree,
Rebecca: So much for your explosive charges Jim.
Tsuneo: What?
Rebecca: Oh, he had his towers fitted with explosives to make sure
they didn't fall down the wrong way.
Tsuneo: That makes as much sense as anything else here.
> a
> spokesman for Epsilon Industries stated that business would
> continue as usual".
Rick: That is, apart from the fact that their headquarters just got
blown up.
> Standing and walking over to the window Jim looked out at
> Genom's huge world headquarters, "Why can't business continue as
> usual", he thought to himself,
Tsuneo [Jim]: And where did my question mark go?
> "I've still got the Stalker and
> what's left of my armour, there's no reason I can't continue, but
> I might have to do it in a less visible way".
Dan: And the Stalker could be any more obvious?
> *****
> Robert Kemper
Rick: Who's he?
Rebecca: A redshirt from the last chapter.
> pulled his van into apartment block's, parking
> lot. "What the hell is he doing *here*?",
Tsuneo: Starring in a crappy fanfic. Next!
> Rob thought to himself.
> Since Jim had given him the job of head of security, he had done
> all sorts of things,
Rebecca: With Jim. And Kathy. And often both of them at once.
> but this was very unusual. Jim had ordered
> him to bring all of his (remaining) personal belongings over to
> Kathy's apartment.
Rick: So he lived in his office building?
Dan: Probably. Last I saw, he was attatched to it with superglue.
> "Since when did Jim and Kathy begin..", he thought.
Dan [Kathy]: I'm not his boyfriend!
> "Hey Rob", Jim called, walking over to the van.
> Robert broke off his train of thought and opened the door,
> "Glad to see your alright Jim", he said smiling at his old friend.
Rick [Rob]: Damn.
> Jim nodded, "same here.. you've got all my stuff?", he asked.
Rebecca: Let's see... One blow up doll, one collection of assorted
bras, one pair handcuffs, one traffic cone, one hamster- [Dan whacks
her with a cushion]
> Robert nodded, "Its all in the back, but if I might ask, why
> bring it here, wouldn't it be safer to move into the bunker??", he
> said.
Dan: [Jim] Because I like Kathy's nightie.
Rebecca: [Jim] It looks good on me.
Dan: Thanks for that.
> Jim threw open the van's door, "I don't think so, from now on,
> James Williams the Third, is becoming a recluse".
Rick: So why the hell not hide in the bunker?
Tsuneo: With your comma collection.
> Robert blinked confusedly, Jim had always been very high-
> profiled, "This is out of character,
Dan: Everyone else in this fic is OOC, so I don't see why it matters.
> and I must say it seems like
> a foolish risk", he commented, helping Jim unload his motorcycle.
Rick: [Kemper] Which is why I strongly reccomend it!
> Jim shook his head, "It *is* safer this way, no-one will
> bother with a simple 'school teacher',
Rebecca: Except for those boomers that can track you by your DNA.
> I'll have to ask Kathy,
Dan: At last, he considers whose house he's wrecking.
> but
> I think I'll be staying in her spare room for a while", Jim
> explained.
Rick: [Jim] Weather she likes it or not.
> Robert hid a grin, "I'm sure Kathy will be *overjoyed* to hear
> that", he said.
Tsuneo: Yeah. She'll be thrilled.
> Jim looked up from examining his cycle, "Pardon?", he asked.
> Robert turned quickly to unload a chest from the van, "Never
> mind, I'll get the rest of this up to the apartment",
Rebecca: [Kemper] Ah, do it yourself, you lazy bum.
> he began wrestling it up the stairs.
Dan: Of course, you could use the lift.
> "But I want to make one thing clear,
> I'm against you placing yourself outside my protection", Robert
> added.
Tsuneo: I'm all for it, myself.
> Jim nodded, "Alright, we'll talk about this later, for now I
> want to check out some contacts this afternoon",
Rick [Jim]: I lost my old ones, and I can't see a thing!
> he explained, getting on his cycle.
> Robert smiled slightly, "Have fun", he said, hauling the heavy
> chest up the apartment's stairs.
> Jim gunned the engine a few times, delighting that the
> modifications he had asked for had been completed.
Tsuneo: Oh, look, now he's got a superbike.
> Shrugging on
> his jacket and helmet, he gave Robert a quick wave before streaking
> off down the street.
Rebecca: And then he was promptly arrested for indecent exposure.
> Robert winced as he heard the screech of tires and winced
> again as he saw how close Jim came to hitting a light pole,
All: Try harder next time!
> as he
> sped around the corner. "I gotta remember to *never* let him
> drive", he thought to himself.
Tsuneo: [Kemper] I gotta remember to *never* let him write.
> *****
> Jim looked up from his seat in the small bar, noting that
> Fargo was on time for once. Nodding to the man Jim gestured to a
> secluded table.
Dan: Yup! It's a table!
All: [Cheers]
> "Ahh, I hope this isn't going to get unpleasant", Fargo began.
Rick [Fargo voice]: Oh ya. No problems this time. For sure.
Dan: Not again...
> Jim cut him off,
Tsuneo: Aaargh! Getting blood everywhere.
> "Shut up and listen, I trusted you to keep
> our business quite, unfortunately you decided to share our
> conversation with someone".
Rebecca [Fargo voice]: Oh ya. Anyone within shouting distance, for sure.
> Fargo gulped nervously, "Well, I had no choice, you see..", he
> started to explain.
Rick: [Fargo voice] It's the voices. They kept saying "tell someone,
tell someone." Ya see?
> Jim stood suddenly,
Dan: [Jim] I ask one question, then go. Makes sense.
> "I don't want to hear about it,
Tsuneo: A: you just did and B: you asked for it.
> but, I
> want you to organise a meeting for me with the people who followed
> me", he stated flatly.
Rebecca: [Fargo, Fargo voice] But will ya try not to kill 'em this
time?
> "I don't think that I can do that", Fargo explained, "You
> see.... well I don't think they'll agree to the meeting".
> Jim threw some money down to pay for his drink, "Make them
> agree,
Tsuneo: [Fargo voice] Real convincing, isn't he.
Rebecca: [Ditto] Oh yah.
Rick: [Ditto] For sure.
Dan: I can't win.
> I'll meet one of them tomorrow, tell them to have dinner at
> the Mega-Tokyo Hilton, at about seven, ask for the table reserved
> for Fortuna", he said quietly.
Tsuneo [Fargo voice]: And after that maybe the movies or theatre for
sure.
Rick [Fargo voice]: Is that as in Bib Fortuna?
> "Well I'm not sure...", Fargo began to explain, only to have
> Jim turn and walk from the bar.
Rebecca: [Jim, Fargo voice] I'm leaving! This time for good.
Rick: [Fargo, Fargo voice] But you didn't even pay me!
Dan: With the way he treats poor Fargo, it's a wonder he's still
working with Jim.
Rebecca: [Fargo voice] Avatar effect. Live with it.
> "Sylia's not going to like this", he thought to himself.
Rick [Fargo voice]: Oh ya. I think that Fargo might have an early
retirement.
> *****
> Fargo was correct, Sylia was not happy and Priss was downright
> angry.
Rick: And there's anything unusual in that?
> "He wants a meeting?", Priss said angrily, "That bastard
> almost killed you and he wants you to quietly have dinner with
> him?".
Dan: He's an avatar! He can do what he wants!
> Sylia nodded, "I'm not sure he was trying to kill me",
Rebecca: [Sylia] He just throttled me in a friendly way.
> she explained, "After all, we were following him".
Rebecca: And that makes pitching you down the alley OK?
> Linna shook her head, "You still shouldn't risk it, it's
> probably a trap", she commented.
Tsuneo: Talk about your statement of the bleedingly obvious.
> Nene nodded quickly, "I agree, we should just ignore it".
> Sylia was quite for a time, but then spoke quite firmly, "I'm
> going", she said.
Dan: Yup, and there goes everything we knew about Sylia out the
window.
> Everyone looked at her in shock, Priss spoke up first, "But
> *WHY*?", she said exasperatedly.
Rebecca: [Sylia] I can't help it! It's the plot!
> Sylia stood and walked over to the computer, tapping a few
> keys she bought up
Tsuneo: Our lunch.
> a schematic diagram of a C-55 Boomer. "These
> parts here", she said, indicating some components in the Boomer's
Dan: It's not a 33S, so don't.
Rebecca: Poopie.
> 'brain' area, "Were what Fargo was told to find out information
> about".
Rick: [Sylia] It was the little hamster on the wheel that bugged him.
> Mackie looked closely at the parts on the screen, "They look
> like the primary reaction control system", seeing the blank
> expressions of Priss, Linna and Nene's faces
Rebecca: Nothing unusual there.
Dan: How about you just leave us to the fic and go off and write
your own anti-fics, Rebecca?
Rebecca: I was just commenting on what the fic's done to them.
Dan: Oh. No arguments there.
> he explained: "These
> systems are what provides the Boomer with its agility, all movement
> is relayed through them."
Tsuneo: Along with rogue commas and run-on sentences.
> Sylia nodded, "The C-55's that we have encountered lately all
> seem to have this new control system,
Rick: Windows for Boomers!
> making them a little tougher to take down", she said.
> Priss put on a bored expression,
Dan: But decided that it made her look fat, so she took it off again.
> "so what?", she said.
> Sylia tapped the computer again, superimposing the Boomer's
> picture over another *incomplete* picture from the files.
Rick: [Mackie] We lost some of the pieces and the box lid.
> "As you
> can see, these circuits fill in some of the missing pieces about
> this attack helicopter that's been hanging around".
Tsuneo: Can I ask what parts from a Boomer's brain are doing in an
attack helicopter?
> Mackie studied the plans closely, "Your right sis, those
> Boomer circuits could quite easily be modified to work in that
> helicopter, which would account for its high manoeuvrability", he
> said.
All: Eh?
Tsuneo: Um... how? You can't just insert 'go faster' chips into a
combat machine to make it more manouverable, you need to work that
into its structure, control systems, control surfaces, engines...
This is just total rubbish!
Dan: Nice rant.
Tsuneo: It needed saying.
> "I was thinking that maybe the circuits had been modified to
> fit into the Boomer, as the design has been in the ADP's database
> for the last two years", Sylia concluded.
Dan: So now he's claiming the invention of the BU-55C?
Tsuneo: I half expect him to proclaim himself a trillion times more
powerfull than Sylia next.
> Priss slapped off the computer screen angrily, "Again, I say
> 'so what?', this guy wants info on some Boomer parts, who cares,
> what difference does that make to us?", she fumed.
Rebecca: Well done. I didn't think Priss could get any more pig-
headedly stupid.
> Sylia looked at her understandingly,
Rick: [Sylia] Poor Priss. She just doesn't have a clue.
> "There's also something
> else", she said, flicking the screen on again and typing in some
> commands.
Rebecca [Sylia]: This webpage has some... interesting pictures of you,
Linna.
> The computer displayed a DNA sequence, but a rather
> strange one, it seemed to be in a state of flux,
Tsuneo: So... how can you tell it's the one you're looking for?
> changing from one
> configuration to another. "This was also part of the Boomers
> target list,
Rick: Along with Authour Avatars and the Spice Girls.
Dan: Mutie freaks and Magic players.
Rebecca: Moonies and tree-hugging hippies.
Tsuneo: Run-on sentances and rouge commas.
> it had a second level termination priority ", Sylia said.
> Nene looked at it curiously, "I've never seen anything like
> *that* before", she studied it for a moment more before looking a
> Sylia questioningly,
Rebecca [Nene]: Can we go back to the Linna page?
> "So what was the first level target?", she asked.
All: The authour!
> Sylia gave a rare smile, "You have to ask??", she said,
> bringing up another display, this time it was a physical
> description of the Knight Sabres.
Dan: Taken from info form innumerable shrines.
Rick: What? A Linna shrine?
Dan: Seen it.
Rick: Sad. Truly sad.
> "So whoever has that DNA trace is automatically targeted",
> said Priss, "Unless we are around, of course".
Rick [Sylia]: That's what I just said. You deaf or something?
> Mackie looked worried, "Sis, I think you had better be careful
> meeting this person, if Genom has given them such a high
> termination priority, they are probably dangerous", he said.
All: Nah!
Rick: No, he just hasn't returned the company lawnmower, and
Quincy's getting mighty pissed about it.
> Sylia gave her brother a reassuring look, "Don't worry, I'll
> be careful", she said.
Rebecca: Going on her past track record in this fic, she'll probably
walk in there in her underwear after giving the others the night off.
Dan: I can agree with that. [Rebecca whacks him with a cushion]
> *****
> "Damn, I can't believe that Sylia would be this dumb",
All: You're not the only one.
> Priss
> thought to herself. She was riding along the highway, on her way
> home. It was getting late, so Priss had opened her bike up and was
> doing well over 100mph.
Rick: Aren't there traffic police around to deal with this? Or maybe
even traffic?
> She smiled as she passed yet another slow moving car, "This is
> the way to go", she thought to herself.
Dan: Oh gods. Here goes epsisode 4.
Rick: He includes the most pointless episode of the set. Great.
> *****
> Several miles behind Priss, a group of the Outriders
> motorcycle gang was not enjoying their evening.
Dan: The movie was terrible and the restaraunt was way too
expensive.
> They were engaged in a running battle with a strange car.
Rick: It had this funny glowing red thing on the front and the male
lead from Baywatch behind the wheel.
> The car was an ancient Griffin,
Rebecca: I would love to know how a six year old car qualifies as
ancient.
> painted jet black.
Rick: Can I have a car like that?
Rebecca: I saw it first!
> For the last few weeks, the car had
> been turning up and trashing members of their gang, tonight was
> supposed to be their revenge, but unfortunately the car's driver
> had other ideas.
Tsuneo: He was gonna kill them all with a run-on sentence!
> Smashing against the car with crowbars had no
> noticeable effect
Rick: Other than scuffing the living daylights out of the paint job.
> and it seemed to be effectively bullet-proof.
> The car was swerving backwards and forwards across the road,
Rebecca: Another proud graduate from the Misato Katsuragi school of
driving.
> knocking riders from their bikes and avoiding other traffic on the
> lonely highway.
Dan: If it's a lonely highway, where'd the traffic come from?
> *****
> Jim was heading back to Kathy's place after having finished
> off some details with Robert. His head of security was quite upset
> with his decision to move out
Rebecca: From their friendly little home.
> from under the watchful eyes of his
> security teams. It had been quite an argument, but Jim had
> prevailed and Robert agreed that
Rebecca: Jim should keep the house, the car and Kathy.
> maybe a low profile would be best.
Tsuneo: All together now...
All: Then why not live in the bunker?
> The Stalker helicopter and the other aircraft in his hanger had not
> been damaged with the destruction of Epsilon Towers, but it would
> be increasingly hard to acquire spare parts and fuel, now that
> Epsilon Industries had 'officially' pulled out of Mega-Tokyo.
Dan: Which, I presume, constitutes "business as usual."
> Jim sighed and shook his head slightly, "I hope Kathy doesn't
> mind me staying with her for a while,
Tsuneo: Why would she argue back? It means having a mind of her own.
> I could to with a bit of a
> rest before tomorrow's meeting", he thought to himself. Grinning
> under his helmet, he slowly increased his speed until he was doing
> almost 90mph,
Rick: Look out for the truck! CRASH! Oh, dear, what a tragedy.
> it felt good to be back on his bike. "This is one
> thing that I miss, running that bloody company", he thought.
Tsuneo: So much for his father's company that he was so torn up about.
> Suddenly a red-trimmed racing bike passed him on his left, its
> rider obviously enjoying herself immensely.
Rebecca: Well we all know that Priss does have a metal fetish.
Rick: She and Leona should get together some time.
> Jim grinned again and
> gunned the bike, pulling equal to and then beginning to pass the
> other rider.
Dan: Aaak! Now he's going to save Priss and trash the Griffon. You watch.
> *****
> Priss was smiling widely under her helmet,
Rebecca: Yeah, she's really enjoying her ride.
> so this guy wanted
> to challenge her did he? Priss accelerated harder, pushing her
> speed up towards 150mph.
Rick: This is where they're getting officially stupid.
> She laughed silently as her pursuer
> matched her speed. "not too bad, at least he's got a good bike",
> she thought.
Rebecca: [Priss] No! I made a commitment to *my* bike!
Dan: Now this is getting *really* sick.
> Jim was thinking the exact same thing. "She's good, but I
> think it starting to get a little dangerous",
Tsuneo: A *little* dangerous? I wouldn't be doing that speed on
the straight flats back home.
Rebecca: Well, that could be because those Wyoming cops have a
habit of shooting first and asking questions later.
Tsuneo: True.
> he thought, watching the speedo pass 160mph.
Rick: To ludicrous speed!
Dan: [Barf the Mog] My god! He's gone to plaid!
> Priss was just about to decelerate when she caught a flash in
> he mirror,
Rebecca: In his stupid red suit and everything.
> swerving to the left just as a huge black car roared
> past her.
Tsuneo: With a black-haired kid in the back and an old guy in an
X-COM uniform behind the wheel.
> She looked over at her competitor, noticing that he was
> wobbling slightly, but still upright. "You bastard!", she growled
> under her breath. Accelerating sharply, she took off in pursuit of
> the black monstrosity.
Rick: Uh... Darkwind's *behind* you.
Dan: No, the *other* black monstrosity.
Rick: Oh, Ankoku then?
> Jim was just beginning to get his bike back under control when
> he noticed the red cycle's rider pursing the black car. "Damn,
> he's fast", Jim thought, "That fool could have killed us both".
Rebecca: Personally I thought that was the idea.
> Frowning, he jammed down the accelerator, leaping the bike ahead
> down the highway.
All: Boingy boingy boingy!
> Priss was gaining on the black car, her speed was pushing past
> 200mph
All: Uh?
Rick: Now I know she likes her bikes souped-up, but that's just silly.
> and the black car was still pulling away.
Tsuneo: So... she's gaining on it but it's pulling away?
> She grimaced and
> accelerated harder, pushing the bike beyond anything she speed she
> had reached before.
All: Uh?
Rebecca: Babelfish strikes again.
> She noticed in the corner of her eye that her
> competitor was keeping level with her, surprising considering the
> high speed was pushing her own bike.
Tsuneo: [Priss] No-one's allowed to be as much of a bike hoon as me!
> Jim frowned, the red cycle and the car were pulling away
> again, he looked at the readouts closely, the bike was reporting
> that it would last only a few more minutes at this speed, going any
> faster would be asking for a crash.
Rick: [Computer] Can I have a crash, please?
Rebecca: Just install-
Others: [Bored] Windows 98.
Rebecca: Alright, already.
> Reluctantly he began to slow
> down. He watched the black car pull away, leaving the red bike
> behind, suddenly he noticed smoke begin to jet from the red bike's
> exhaust. "Uh oh", he muttered.
Dan: [Rain man] Not good. Definitely not good.
> Priss was saying something totally different
Rebecca: Which not even *I'm* going to repeat here.
Tsuneo: Probably to do with the demeaning rescue that was about to
happen.
> as her bike began to fall apart,
Rick: [Priss] Damn cheap import crap.
Rebecca: Are you kidding? This is Japan, home of the cheap crap
motor vehicle.
Rick: Okay. [Priss] Damn cheap local crap.
> her oil pressure dropped to zero and the bike began
> to shimmy wildly.
Rebecca: I'm sure she finds that to be an entirely pleasant experience.
Dan: Drawing from personal experience, I see? [Rebecca whacks him with
a cushion]
> She was just wondering why on earth she had
> tried to catch the black car
Rick: That's beginning to worry me too.
Rebecca: Penis envy? [Dan whacks her with a cushion]
> when a hand grabbed her by the scruff
> of the neck, lifting her off the doomed bike.
Tsuneo: Told you.
> Jim strained under the weight of lifting the other rider off
> her bike, even restructuring his arm, it was a heavy load to lift.
Dan: Never mind the fact that the weight imbalance would topple you
over in an instant and, at this speed, leave you smeared all over
the highway.
Tsuneo: Why can't the laws of physics notice this fic for a change?
> He managed to get the rider off the bike, just as the bearing froze
> in the red bikes front wheel, flipping it end over end. Throwing
> the girl across his shoulder he swerved to avoid the flipping red
> bike.
Rebecca: She, of course, did not protest in any way, shape or form.
> Unfortunately his rear tyre just clipped the tumbling cycle,
> the result was pretty predictable.
Rick: Just like the entirety of this fanfic.
> Priss suddenly felt her stomach lurch as the rider holding her
> hit the pavement.
All: [Singing] Jim hit the sidewalk again!
> She felt herself tumbling over and over, but
> strangely enough the rider managed to cushion her from most of the
> impact,
Rebecca: While touching her in all the places that she didn't like.
> his arms locked around her keeping her from touching the roadway.
Tsuneo: This is from a 'holding her over his shoulders' position, I
might add. Hardly good protection.
> The two came to rest against the guard rail, their bikes were
> a crumpled mess, pieces dotting the area.
Rick: So any police officer who comes along can book 'em for
dangerous driving, speeding *and* littering.
Rebecca: Don't laugh, Karen would.
> Priss shook her head and
> struggled to release the 'death grip' the other rider had on her.
> Groaning the other rider let her go
Rebecca: [Jim] Was it good for you too?
> and rolled painfully to his
> feet. Priss pulled off her helmet, throwing it to the ground in
> disgust, "Oh, great rescue!', she screamed sarcastically at the
> other rider.
Rick: Wow. He only saved you from being turned into a gooey pulp.
Rebecca: Don't worry about it. Priss has enough hits to survive a
200mph crash.
Dan: Or get hit with a tank shell.
Tsuneo: No more Fuzion jokes, please. My brain's overloading.
> He painfully pulled off his helmet, his brown eyes flashing
> anger, "You stupid...",
Rick: Our thoughts exactly.
> suddenly he broke off and looked at her
> closely, "Haven't we met?", he asked.
> Priss was indignant, "This is not the time for a pick-up
> line",
Tsuneo: He's an avatar! He can do whatever he wants!
> she responded angrily, then she gasped noticing the still-
> smoking jacket on the rider's back.
> Jim pulled the jacket off quickly and stamped on it.
Dan: Yeah, real suave there man.
> He then
> turned back to look at Priss, "I'm sure we've met, isn't your name
> Priss?", he asked.
Rebecca: Of 'Priss and the Repreciants' fame?
> Priss tore her eyes away from the jacket and looked at him
> closely, "Yes... Umm how did you..", she said dumbfounded.
Rick: Could it be he's seen you in concert?
> Jim grinned and extended his hand, "The name's Jim Williams,
> we met at the ADP-Policeman's Ball", he said.
Rebecca: [Priss] Ah, yes. If I recall, you were pissed at the time.
Dan: Which explains why he was dancing with Nene.
> Priss recognised him as a guy that Nene had latched onto, she
> studied him closely, she felt a chill as she recognised his last
> name, looking into his eyes, she noticed how much he resembled
> another 'Williams' that she knew.
Dan: That is such a *startling* revelation which she arrived at *so*
quickly.
Rick: Jim here went to the Lara Croft school of alternate identities.
> Glancing at the road behind
> them, she saw a small furrow in the road,
Tsuneo: Looks like the Department of Redundancy Department has again
struck again.
Rick: Just to run a joke into the ground, so to speak.
Others: [Groan]
> "That jacket of his must
> have been armoured if he got away without a scratch", she though.
Rebecca: He could be a boomer.
Rick: He could be a giant chicken.
Rebecca: Oh, please. Boo's got too much talent for this.
> Jim noticed the strange expression on her face, suddenly
> remembering his previous meetings with Priss, some in his
> millionaire disguise (which looked like a Jim of about 50 years
> old).
Rebecca: Thank you for reminding us of that *yet* again.
> "are you ok?", he asked finally.
> Priss nodded absently, "Yeah, how about you?", she asked.
> Making a show of testing his limbs, Jim grinned, "None the
> worse for ware",
Tsuneo: [Priss] Damn. Gotta try harder next time.
> he said, then he glanced at what was left of his
> bike, "Unfortunately the same can't be said for our bikes".
Dan: [Jim] No, I' think they'll be- WHOOM! There they go!
> Priss grimaced and walked over to her own bike, kicking the
> back tyre,
Rick: Or something that at least resembled it.
> "Well it looks like I'm walking", she said.
> Jim nodded, "Me to.... I guess I'd better call the THP and
> report this, after I call the wrecking yard to come and pick up my
> bike", he said sourly.
Tsuneo: Wouldn't it be an idea to call the police first? Just
wondering. I mean, there is this huge black car on the loose and
all...
Rick: Wouldn't it be an idea to get off the freeway before anyone
runs them down?
> Priss looked at him again, this time inquisitively, "Why did
> you try to help me anyway?", she asked.
> Jim smiled, "Why not?, you were in trouble so....", he
> replied.
Dan: [Jim] I thought I'd utterly degrade you, get a good feel and
stroke my own ego at the same time.
> Priss nodded, "Very nice of you, sorry it wrecked your bike",
> she said a trifle guiltily.
> Jim laughed, "Its just a machine, something that can be
> replaced", he said, "Besides I couldn't resist the chance to pick
> up a beautiful woman".
Rick: That is the lamest gag I've heard in ages.
Dan: Kill him, Priss, you know you wanna.
Rebecca: Now watch as he turns into DJ Croft.
> ******
> "I'm telling you Nene, he's the spitting image of that James
> Williams of Epsilon Industries", Priss said, for the 20th time.
Rick: And we said: "Shut up Priss, we heard you the first 19 times."
> Nene shook her head, "So what, you've met them both and have
> found nothing wrong with either of them, so why bother telling
> Kathy about it".
Tsuneo: Could it be that they're related, given they look similar
and have the same last name?
All: Naw.
> Priss shrugged, "Well I thought that you would want one of
> your friends to know that she might be involved with someone
> unusual".
Rick: And she's already hanging around Linna and Nene? No
worries there.
> Linna laughed, "Hey, I'd be involved with someone who looked
> like he does, even if he is a little 'unusual'".
Dan: Linna, no offense, but you'd be involved with anyone.
> Sylia chose that moment to make her entry, she was wearing a
> loose fitting dress, with a veil covering her face.
Rebecca: To make sure no-one noticed that she was still Kasumi.
> The whole effect was so that she wouldn't be recognised.
Rick: While standing out like a sore thumb. Way to go.
> "Well what do you think?", she asked the assembled Knight Sabres.
Tsuneo: [Linna] You really, really don't want to know.
> Linna grimaced, "Well if you don't want people to know who
> your are, your doing well, your own mother wouldn't recognise you
> in that outfit".
Tsuneo: And I wouldn't recognise most of that line as english.
Rebecca: In saying such, Linna has just proved everything I've ever
said about her.
> Sylia nodded, her movements slightly muffled by the heavy
> garments, "Good I'll be leaving soon,
Dan: [Sylia] You'll never see me again.
> you all know what to do",
Rick: [Priss] Party time.
Dan: [Rolls eyes] Here she goes.
Rebecca: What? What?
> she
> said, turning to leave. The other Knight Sabres would be
> monitoring the conversation from the control van,
Tsuneo: Yeah, that's gonna be marvellous. Pay no attention to me!
I'm just an enourmous armoured truck! Pay no attention to the
motorcycles coming out of my back.
> so that if it was
> a trap, Linna, Nene and Priss would be able to
Rick: Run like the wind.
> respond with their hardsuits.
> "Be careful sis", said Mackie quietly.
> ******
Tsuneo: You know, it occurs to me that we're about half way
through this chapter already. Is this actually going anywhere?
Rebecca: Based on past experiences: To a poorly written, drawn-out
fight scene.
> Sylia was sitting overlooking the beautiful landscaped
> interior gardens of the Mega-Tokyo Hilton.
Rick: What is this, a fanfic or an ad?
> She had arrived a few
> minutes early and kept a careful watch for any indications of a
> trap.
Rebecca: You know, stuff like anvils hanging from the roof, large
piles of birdseed and loitering coyotes.
Rick: Unfortunately, she didn't notice the huge stone ball rolling
down the hallway straight at her.
> Noticing no signs of a trap and having the added support of
> the rest of the Knight Sabres only a few streets away in the
> command truck,
Rick: Featuring all the intense recap action of X-Raider!
Rebecca: Ugh. Never mention that fic.
> she decided to take her place at the table.
> At precisely seven o'clock she noticed a *very* familiar
> figure enter the restaurant. "What the hell is he doing here?",
> she thought to herself, watching as Fargo walked across the room
> and sat opposite her.
> "What's going on Fargo, why are you here?", she said angrily.
Rick: [Fargo voice] Me? I'm getting my appearance fee. For sure.
Dan: [Director] Get out! You've already had your token scene for
this chapter.
> The voice that came out of Fargo's mouth startled her, "I'm
> not Fargo", it said simply.
Tsuneo: Uh, Jim? They know what you look like. No point trying to
hide it.
> Sylia frowned, examining the figure in
> front of her carefully, whoever he was he was wearing a *very* good
> disguise.
Rick: She could only barely see the rental tag sticking out the back
of his jacket.
> "What do you want to talk about?", Sylia asked bluntly.
Dan: [Jim] Oh, the usual. The weather, how bad the Cubs are loosing,
that kind of stuff.
> Leaning back in his chair the strange man looked at her
> carefully, "I don't believe that your working for Genom, if that
> was the case I would have expected to meet a Boomer waiting for me
> today", he said quietly.
Tsuneo: Is it just me, or has he entirely missed the BU-55C's
disguise function?
Dan: Based on his past track record, probably.
> The stranger looked at her curiously, "If your not working for
> Genom, who are you then?", he asked.
Rick: [Deep] I'm your worst nightmare.
Dan: [Jim] No, waking up without my-
Rebecca: Thank you! Although, keep this up and it can be arranged.
Dan: I'm surprised you're complaining about filthy comments.
Rebecca: I only complain when you steal them from me.
> Sylia's mind was working overtime,
Rick: You could smell the rubber burning.
Dan: Hey! That's totally unfair!
Rick: Look, don't think of it as Sylia. It's her twisted Brett clone.
It makes things a lot easier.
> unless this was a *very*
> elaborate trap...... "I work for myself", she answered truthfully,
> "Who wants to know?".
Rebecca: The IRS!
> The stranger with Fargo's face
Dan: Maybe you should give it back.
> smiled knowingly, "Well, lets
> just say I'm someone who does *not* like Boomer's very much", he
> said.
Tsuneo: Or proper punctuation either, evidently.
> ******
> Priss slapped the bulkhead in disgust (and considering that
> she was wearing her hardsuit she made quite a dint),
Rebecca: [Priss] Whoops! Just smashed up some valuable equipment,
don't mind me.
> "This is
> telling us nothing, why don't we go in a rough this guy up?", she
> said testily.
Rick: Because it would be a totally stupid, dangerous and unproductive
thing to do?
Dan: Brett clones.
Rick: Natch.
Dan: Hey, you're right.
> "Shh, I can't here what they're saying", whispered Nene
> crossly.
Rebecca: Nene? Cross? Obviously she hasn't been getting her prozac.
> Priss made a show of zipping her lip and quietened down. The
> conversation between Sylia and the strange man continued for many
> minutes, both of them asking questions and neither of them
> receiving much in the way of a clear answer.
Dan: And he's too clumsy an authour to write it properly.
Rick: It would be like a conversation between Ambassador Kosh and
Yoda, only badly written.
> Priss glanced over at
> another console, this one was used to monitor the ADP radio
> frequency.
Rebecca: And all those 0055 numbers that brought Priss her extra income.
> There were red lights all over it,
Tsuneo: [Priss] Uh, Nene, I think the console's broken.
> "Holy.....", she
> began, rushing over to the console reading the screen carefully.
> Linna and Nene raced over with her, Sylia's conversation
> forgotten. "My god, it looks like there are a pair of BU-12's in
> running amuck in the next district, and a C-55 moving this way from
> the south", Linna gasped.
Dan: Can I ask why?
Tsuneo: It's the Brettverse. It doesn't need to make sense.
> Priss thought for a moment, "Nene, you stay here, Linna and I
> will take out those BU-12s and the C-55", she said.
Rick: [Linna] Maybe dinner and a movie?
Rebecca: [Priss] Maybe it'll be that cute female 55C from Aqua city.
Dan: Watch it.
> Linna nodded, "We can handle it, keep an eye on Sylia", she
> said, jumping onto her combat cycle. Before Nene could say
> anything, her two friends were already disappearing into the night.
Tsuneo: And hopefully out of this crappy fic.
> ******
> Sylia's expression didn't change, but she was fuming inside,
Rick: Better turn down the heater in this restaraunt.
> as Nene told her over her earpiece about Priss and Linna going off
> to fight a pair of combat Boomers.
Dan: Pair? Wasn't there three of them?
Rick: [Nene] Hehehe! Silly me!
> She resisted the temptation of
> racing from the restaurant and help her friends.
Rebecca: Although getting out of this conversation *is* a tempting idea.
> "Something wrong?",
Tsuneo: [Deep breath] I'm being treated like a useless, doped up moron
by the self-inserted authour with serious ego problems in this hideously
out of character, crappy fanfic!
Dan: Well done. And you've only seen this part.
Rebecca: And I wasn't joking about Kasumi.
> her strange companion asked.
> Sylia shook her head, "Never mind, its nothing", she replied,
> "Now how much do you know about the C-55 boomer?".
Dan: It's big, blue, ugly and dies in droves in Koopa fics.
Rick: Very little, apparently.
> ******
> "NO! You can't take the Stalker out by yourself", said a very
> upset Robert Kemper.
Rick: [Kemper] You need permission from god-boy first.
Rebecca: [Kemper] You're a female character, so you can't do anything
right.
> "Oh come on Rob", said Kathy urgently, "I can fly the thing".
Tsuneo: Famous last words.
Dan: [Kathy] I've played Commanche for hours!
> Robert shook his head, "Jim left instructions that the Stalker
> was not to be taken out without his permission", he said flatly.
> Kathy shrugged, "Well Jim didn't realise that the city would
> be attacked while he's in a meeting",
Tsuneo: Which, you've got to admit, is one of the dumbest things he's
ever managed.
Rebecca: One of.
> she said, "So I guess those orders don't count".
> Robert frowned, "How do you figure that?", he said.
Rebecca: By using what little brainpower she's got.
> Kathy suddenly reformed into her fight form. To anyone else
> it would have looked rather strange: an eight foot tall golden
> warrior, pleading with a six foot, rather normal looking man.
Rick: When did she start pleading?
Dan: It's Kathy. It's assumed.
> "Don't try to intimidate me!", Robert said angrily.
Tsuneo: Did we just loose a chunk of conversation here?
Rebecca: It doesn't involve Darkwind, so it isn't worth editing.
Dan: Like the rest of the fic?
Rebecca: Point.
> Kathy decided to try a different track, "Well why don't you
> come with me?", she asked slyly.
Rebecca: [Kathy] I'm sure there's plenty of space in here.
Dan: It might make fliying a bit difficult, though.
> Robert blinked and frowned, "Well...", he began, "I suppose it
> is an emergency".
Tsuneo: Wow. i think we just saw a character slip below the depths
even Sylia's reached.
> ******
> Priss and Linna sped through the streets, eliciting strange
> looks from other drivers.
Tsuneo: Don't mind us! We're just armoured maniacs on superbikes!
Pay no attention to the guns!
> They finally began to pick up the
> Boomer's signals on their suit scanners.
Rick: They can tell you the difference between the Italian original
and a cheap knock-off.
> "It looks like its
> concentrating on destroying a building", Priss observed, frowning.
> Linna nodded under her helmet, "It does seem a little
> unusual", she replied.
Dan: Oh, only a little bit?
> Skidding to a stop in front of the building, Priss noted that
> it was an apartment building.
Rick: And you didn't notice this before?
> Shuddering she glanced at the bodies
> of some of the more unfortunate tenants.
Dan: The decor in the lobby finally got to them.
> Quickly jumping off the
> bike she raced through the entrance of the building. Linna
> followed a few steps behind, looking around for any signs of the
> Boomers.
Tsuneo: Other than the ones you just passed, you mean?
> A shattering explosion echoed through the building,
Rick: Turn down that goddamned stereo!
> Priss
> slowed as she heard commotion from further up the corridor. "You
> should not oppose the conclave, come out and receive your
> punishment",
Rebecca: It's Sailor Boomer!
All: AARGH!
> said a mechanical voice. This was followed buy the
> sound of a machine gun firing. "You cannot escape, surrender
> now!",
Rick: Or not. Do we really care?
> it said again, the sound of crunching furniture followed
> that final statement.
Dan: Guess he doesn't like the decor either.
> Priss glanced around the corner, seeing something rather
> strange.
Tsuneo: A humble authour avatar?
Rick: The grammar and punctuation in this fic?
> The Boomer was standing in the middle of the room, it was
> overturning furniture and blasting its auto-cannon at the walls and
> floor.
Tsuneo: I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
Rebecca: I'd hit you if it wasn't so appropriate.
> Priss didn't wait for it to notice her, she fired a pair of
> rail-gun spikes at it, and charged.
Dan: And... what happened to the shots?
> Linna followed firing her own cannon, moving close for a body
> shot.
Rick: [Director] Okay, baby, just show a little more leg.
> Surprisingly the Boomer began to back off, trying to defend
> itself!
Dan: And what's so surprising about that? You make it sound like
they usually fight like zombies.
> Priss didn't waste any time, smashing her fist into the
> Boomer's mid-section.
Rebecca: Yeah, that'll do a lot.
Tsuneo: Not even her Fuzion stats will get it through that boomer's
armour.
> The Boomer blocked her fist, throwing her
> across the room and through a wall.
All: Togg!
> Linna jumped forward at the
> Boomer's head, she got in a point-blank shot - blowing the strange
> Boomers head from it's shoulders.
All: WA-TAK!
> The mortally wounded Boomer began to vibrate wildly.
Rebecca: [Priss] Ooohhh... I like that boomer.
> Linna backed away from it, Priss joined
> her at the room's doorway. The two watched as the Boomer began to
> melt
Rick: [Boomer] I'm melting, I'm melting!
> - it was as if an extremely corrosive acid was eating away at
> it. Soon all that was left was a puddle on the floor (surprisingly
> the floor was not dissolving). Linna picked up a chair leg off of
> the floor and tested the residue.
Dan: [Linna] Tastes like chicken.
> "Whatever was used to dissolve
> the Boomer was completely neutralised by the time it finished",
Rick: You don't say. It's why you've still got a finger.
> she said, examining the remains.
> "What the hell was it doing?", Priss exclaimed, she had never
> fought a Boomer that had defended itself so well.
Rebecca: What, backed off and had its head explode?
Dan: Never mind that assassin which leapt, blocked, dodged...
> Linna shrugged, "Lets just go and get the other one",
Rick: [Priss] Let's not and say we did.
> she
> suggested. The two Knight Sabres moved quickly to follow the
> second Boomer's signal.
> As the two left, a *very* small sparrow hopped out from under
> the bed. It looked around carefully, noting that it was alone the
> sparrow jumped into the air flying up to a broken window. It
> chirped in satisfaction before returning to the floor of the room.
> Suddenly it shimmered, reforming into a young red-haired man.
> "Geeze that was close", he exclaimed, "I gotta find a better class
> of neighbourhood".
All: Ha ha. Hahaha. Ha.
Rebecca: Fun-ee.
Tsuneo: So am I to understand that Genom's just sending out boomers
to randomly exterminate any shapeshifters they come across?
Dan: Something like that.
Tsuneo: But why? I mean, there's hundereds of more efficient methods,
considering they can track by DNA.
Rebecca: Quincy's been replaced by Doctor Evil and is playing second
fiddle to an authour-created villain.
> ******
> "OH SHIT!", screamed Leon,
Rebecca: At least Leon's in character.
> diving behind an APC as the BU-12
> opened up on his squad with it's auto-cannon.
Rick: Cue a few hundred more gevious ADP casualties.
Dan: Oh, look, you can see number 28 dying again.
> The ADP cruiser he
> had been taking cover behind exploded in a wash of heat and noise.
Tsuneo: The ADP should consider armouring their vehicles with
something other than masonite.
> He winced as a piece of red-hot metal impacted into the APC beside
> him.
> "Where the hell are the choppers?",
Dan: Busy exploding, what did you think?
> he thought frantically.
> The squad had arrived to find the Boomer stalking a crowd of
> shoppers in one of the numerous shopping malls in the downtown
> central business district, it seemed to be searching for someone
> specific.
Rick: [Boomer] No, not you. Not you either. You lot can go home.
Dan: [Ditto] Sorry about that. It'll grow back eventually.
> "Well at least I can report that this Boomer is not a rouge,
Rick: No, it's the usual BU-12B brown.
> it's here for a purpose", he thought.
Tsuneo: I wonder if the authour has considered what boomers running
around randomly killing people will do for Genom's image?
Rebecca: Of course not. Boomers have only just been invented and
started showing up.
Rick: You're joking.
Dan: No, if she was joking, she would have said "Dr. Kevorkian, a
rabbi and a donkey are stuck in a lift."
> Another ADP patrol car exploded from the other side of the street,
Dan: And the boomer didn't even go near it.
Tsuneo: It's at about this point that riffing the ADP becomes a
futile exercise.
[Pause]
Rebecca: So?
> "If I survive", he muttered.
Dan: It's about this time that his ubercopter will swoop down and
save Leon.
> The sound of rotor blades interrupted Leon's thoughts, he
> looked down the street behind the Boomer to see a sleek attack
> helicopter flying down the middle of the street!
Rick: Nice call.
Dan: Whatever. It happened in the first part.
Rebecca: Happened in the second.
> He watched as it
> flew *under* a road overpass, "That pilot must be crazy!",
Rebecca: No, just stupid. It is Kathy after all.
Rick: Anyone would think you had something against her.
> he
> thought. As the chopper grew closer he noticed that it didn't
> resemble anything he had seen before.
Dan: No, Leon, you *have* seen attack helicopters before.
Rick: Not ones that didn't blow up.
Tsuneo: I see what you mean.
> A missile streaked from a
> launcher on one of it's wingtips, detonating just behind the
> Boomer.
Rebecca: Note that while Jim can take the wings off flies with that
chaingun, Kathy can't even hit it with one of those, and I quote,
"laser-guided smart missiles."
> The Boomer began to back off down the street laying down
> a storm of bullets at the helicopter.
> Leon watched expecting the helicopter to explode in a ball of
> flame.
Rick: You'd be amazed Leon, but other people *armour* their choppers.
> To his surprise the bullets bounced off, doing little or no
> damage. The Boomer dodged into one of the many shops in the Mall,
Dan: A Grand Mall.
Rebecca: Obscure BGC reference.
> making its own door.
Tsuneo: You could at least go out the same way you came in!
> The helicopter hovered for a few moments
> above Leon, "There is backup on the way
Dan: Backup from where?
> Inspector McNicoll, keep
> your men back for the moment", came an unfamiliar male voice from
> the helicopter.
Rick: [Leon] No, we were planning to all charge out and get
slaughtered.
> Leon was only too eager to pull his men back, so signalled to
> them to move back down the street.
Dan: That's right, leave the scene for the mysterious person in the
highly dangerous attack helicopter. That makes sense, doesn't it.
Tsuneo: No.
Rick: Which is why it's here.
> He glanced once more at the
> helicopter before jogging after the remains of his team.
Dan: And there's number 28's spleen!
> He had
> just taken cover when he saw a pair of familiar figures race past,
Rick: Batman and Robin leap into action!
> heading towards where the boomer disappeared. "Well I hope the
> Knight Sabres get along with those people in the helicopter,
> otherwise I don't know how we're suppose to stop them", he
> commented to his troop sergeant.
Rebecca: [Sergeant] Shut up and do your job, you moron.
> *****
> Nene was getting concerned,
Tsuneo: Just a few boomers running amok, nothing to worry about.
> the Boomer's were not acting the same as usual.
Dan: Since when? They rampage and mow down everything in sight.
Rick: Especially the ADP.
Rebecca: I think he was referring to the way they used their
brainpower.
Dan: My point.
> Priss and Linna had described the way the first
> Boomer had attempted to defend itself
Tsuneo: By... dissolving into a puddle?
> and she had heard Leon's description of how the other BU-12 reacted.
Rebecca: It wet its pants and had a sulk.
> "It's as if someone has changed their whole operating
> parameters", commented Mackie, echoing Nene's thoughts.
Dan: [Clears throat loudly]
> Nene nodded, "I don't understand it either", she said.
Rebecca: You don't understand much, do you?
> The C-55 that had been heading past, suddenly turned straight
> towards the restaurant that Sylia was in.
Tsuneo: And who saw that one coming?
[They all raise their hands]
> "What the...", said
> Mackie. The change in course had been abrupt, one moment it was
> heading north, straight past them, the next it had changed course
> directly for the Hilton.
Rick: Yeah, you just said that.
> "Sylia, there's a Boomer heading right for you!", Mackie
> called over the communicator.
Dan: [Uncle Jimbo] I'ts coming right for us!
> Nene, meanwhile had opened the top hatch and was preparing to
> leave.
Rebecca: [Nene] Uh... Mackie? You handle this. I'm outta here.
> "I'll try to hold it off",
All except Dan: [Burst out laughing]
Dan: No joke! She took out a 55C solo in episode three!
Rebecca: Yes, but this is her Brett clone, remember?
> she said in a quavering voice,
> "Try and get Priss and Linna back here!".
Dan: [Nene] I want someone to gloat to!
> Mackie nodded, realising that Nene was far out-classed by the
> Boomer. "Damn, why didn't I bring *my* suit along",
Rick: Because it's probably still at the dry-cleaner's.
> he thought to
> himself. The new suit that had been designed for him as a heavy
> weapons platform had just been completed,
Tsuneo: It's Mackie's red super-hardsuit!
All: AARGH!
> but Sylia wouldn't let him take it out until it was tested.
> "Good Luck", he called. Nene nodded and engaged her jets,
> skimming off into the night.
All: You'll need it.
> ******
> "Excuse me?", said Jim, looking at the strange woman in front
> of him.
Rick: [Jim] You're not paying attention to *me!*
> "Sorry, I just got a bit distracted", she replied.
Rebecca: [Sylia] I just saw my replacement... [Shudders]
> Jim had been verbally fencing with this strange woman for
> almost half and hour.
Tsuneo: En garde!
> It had been one of the most interesting, and
> simultaneously, least-informative conversations he had *ever* had.
> He frowned thoughtfully at her, "Well I'm sorry that I'm boring
> you..", he began.
Rebecca: Too late for that.
> The woman shook her head, "Its not that, I'm just...", she
> started to explain.
> The explanation never got any further, one window of the
> restaurant exploded inwards, showering those nearest with glass.
Dan: It's Bruce Willis!
> A C-55 Boomer landed in the room with crash.
Rick: Ah, well. Ugly enough.
Rebecca: And with twice the talent.
> Jim stood and glared at the woman, "So, it was a trap", he
> said angrily,
All: Naw!
Tsuneo: That's right, she was going to disable you with her
conversational skills, then get the 55C to finish you.
Dan: This guy is so paranoid it's not funny.
> grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet. He
> pulled her in front of him, using her as a shield. "Hopefully,
> they won't kill one of their own agents",
Rick: Now there's famous last words for you.
> he thought to himself.
> ******
> Sylia struggled against the man holding her,
Tsuneo: and this warrants a scene change?
> suddenly she was
> flipped around and found herself being used as a shield. "Stop
> this, I didn't try to trap you!", she screamed.
Dan: [Sylia] Really!
Rebecca: [Sylia] Although I would have liked to.
> She looked up in time to see the Boomer open its mouth,
Rick: EEEW! Floss after eating, mate!
> and
> the tell-tale glow of a laser preparing to fire. She closed her
> eyes, expecting to feel the searing heat hit her body.
Dan: No, if this was really Sylia, by know she would have kicked
Jim in the balls, tossed him at the boomer and bolted.
Rick: Either that, or just soaked up the laser blast, then blasted
it back through her staff, blowing the boomer to atoms.
Rebecca: Still bitter, huh?
Rick: A bit.
> She was jerked off
Rebecca: Great going Jim. Get a quick grope while you're there.
> her feet and she felt herself flying through the air.
Dan: [Sylia] I can fly!
Rick: She can do that too, you know.
Dan: [Whacks Rick with a cushion] Now stop that.
Tsuneo: Actually, Ifurita could do wonders for this fic.
> Glass shattered and she felt a few pieces cut her face. She was
> flung over the man's shoulder as he began to run.
Rebecca: While we're at it, what's this thing he has for throwing
Knight Sabres over his shoulders?
> She opened her eyes to see that they had jumped almost two
> stories.
Rick: SPLAT! Eew...
> "How....", she muttered under her breath.
Rebecca: Ah, the miracles of self-insertion.
Dan: [Clears throat loudly]
> Abruptly she
> found herself on her feet, she wobbled for a moment before
> regaining her balance.
Rick: [Sylia] Gotta cut down on the booze.
Rebecca: No more all-nighters at Priss' for you!
Dan: [Whacks her with a cushion] And I suppose you were there too?
> The man that looked like Fargo dabbed at her cut face with a
> handkerchief that he pulled from his trenchcoat. "Sorry about
> that, but there was no other way out", he said.
Rick: You could've used the wall.
> Sylia knocked his hand away, "Who the hell are you?",
Tsuneo: A noxious god-boy self-insertion by some fat looser from
Queensland!
> she
> asked for about the tenth time tonight, "How did you jump that far
> without breaking anything?".
Dan: He used platform game logic.
> The man nodded, "Alright, I can see that you don't work for
> them, if you did they wouldn't have tried to take you out",
Rebecca: Maybe they just don't like her?
Tsuneo: I'm not too fond of Kasumi myself.
> he
> said. An explosion, followed by gunfire echoed from the
> restaurant.
Dan: [Marine] Gues she don't like the corn bread either.
> Sylia looked back to see a familiar pink figure dodging away
> from the Boomer.
Tsuneo: Gee, how many other pink figures do we know?
Rebecca: Mylene's VF-11?
Dan: Chibi-Usa?
Rick: Mai Shiranui?
Dan: Um, she wears red.
Rick: But there's an awfull lot of pink showing.
> "Nene, NO!, your not good enough",
Dan: [Yoda] No. Ready you are not. Training you must complete.
> her mind
> screamed, she made and effort not to let anything show on her face.
Tsuneo: Of course, since she's wearing a veil, it doesn't really matter.
Dan: Oh, yeah. I forgot her marvellous disguise.
> Unfortunately the man picked up the slight tightening around her
> eyes, at the sight of her friend.
Rebecca: So did Brett from the looks of things.
> "So, your with the Knight Sabres", he said thoughtfully.
Rick: A brilliant deduction. Especially considering it's coming
from a total moron.
Tsuneo: Based on evidence he can't see on someone who wouldn't
show it anyway.
> Sylia saw no point denying it, "Yes, we are concerned over
> your attempts to learn more about us", she said.
Rick: You're not from an RPG company, are you?
> The figure smiled, "If you had told me that from the
> beginning, it might have made things easier", he said.
Dan: Of course it means that he would have had your secret ID and
all, but never mind.
Rebecca: It's the kind of thing her Brett-dopple would do anyway.
> Sylia looked at him strangely, "What??", she asked, confused.
Tsuneo: He said, "If you had told me that-" [Gets pelted with cushions]
> In response the man shimmered, his features melting and
> reforming.
Rick: [Sylia] Aah! It's the bad guy from Terminator 2!
> The man grew larger quickly, ripping out of the trenchcoat,
Dan: Why didn't he have a problem with this kind of thing before?
Tsuneo: Because it wasn't a dramatically appropriate moment.
> Sylia took a few steps backwards as she was faced with
> the figure she knew as DarkWind.
Rebecca: Rather than doing something smart and shapeshifting into
a boomer, like Madaline did.
> "So, you see, we've already met", DarkWind said.
Rick: [Jim] We meet again, mister Bond.
> Another series of explosions rocked the Hotel grounds,
Dan: Those food critics can be really harsh on a place.
> followed by an amplified woman's scream.
Tsuneo: Why is it amplified?
Rebecca: It's Nene.
Tsuneo: Point.
> DarkWind quickly turned and ran
Rick: Away.
> back towards the restaurant, "I think your friend needs
> help!", he called over his shoulder.
Dan: No, I think you need help.
> Sylia watched as a pair of leathery wings unfolded from
> DarkWind's back, propelling him back thought
Tsuneo: So... he's a psychic now?
> the broken window.
> "Mackie, get my suit ready", she called into the communicator, as
> she ran towards the waiting command van.
> ******
> Nene let out a scream, as the Boomer's laser caught her on the
> shoulder.
Rebecca: *Everyone* gets shot in the shoulder in this fic! Where's
Megatron when you need him?
> She rolled behind a table, trying to catch her breath.
Rick: There it goes! There!
> The Boomer was closing in on her and she had no options left.
Dan: Maybe she could actually fire at it.
> She dove again, across between two tables,
Tsuneo: Across between... Nope. Lost me there.
> screaming for a second time
> as the Boomer's claws racked her leg. Landing hard, she was
> stunned for a moment,
Rick: Nene's always stunned! It's her natural state!
> she had never fought a Boomer like this, it
> was anticipating her moves.
Rebecca: It had studied the BGC videos intently.
Dan: [Boomer] Let's see... Falls down and wails, falls down and wails...
I'm spotting a pattern forming.
> "No", she cried,
Rick: [Nene] Blonde hair, what was I thinking?
> as the Boomer prepared to fire it's laser
> again, this time a point-blank range. She couldn't move, the pain
> was too much.
Tsuneo: The fic was too bad.
> A black blur, hit the Boomer in the side of the head,
Rick: Rouge Comma Man strikes again!
> knocking
> it aside. A black shape landed between her and the Boomer.
Rebecca: Best place for him, in the line of fire.
> "Get
> out of here Knight Sabre, I'll take this one",
Tsuneo: [Jim] I'll cut your fats out, don't you believe it?
> came a somewhat-
> familiar voice. "What was that thing's name again?", she thought.
Rick: Darkwing.
Rebecca: BB.
Dan: Get that one, Kieth.
> Not waiting for a second invitation, Nene weakly pulled
> herself towards the door.
Dan: [Nene] Don't mind me... I'll just crawl away in considerable agony...
> ******
> DarkWind faced off against the C-55,
Tsuneo: Hold it! Time out for a refreshing pose break, everybody!
Dan: Grit those teeth!
> trying to forget what
> happened the last time he had to fight one. Extending his arms and
> lowering into a crouch he waited for the Boomer to make the first
> move.
Tsuneo: Good posing, kids. Now you can get back to the imminent fight
scene.
> Surprisingly the Boomer spoke, "Surrender DarkWind, you have
> no chance against the Conclave", it said.
Dan: Does he want to make himself any more ovious and recognisable?
> DarkWind frowned, his mind racing,
Rebecca: The hamster wheel squeaking, the rubber burning...
> why surrender, the Conclave should have wanted him dead.
Tsuneo: Why ask us? We don't know either.
> He jumped towards the Boomer,
> feinting his arms towards its head, while reforming his legs into
> a shape blade.
Tsuneo: The shape of a blade?
Rick: Both legs into one blade? Now try standing.
Dan: Someone's been playing too much Darkstalkers again.
> The Boomer was not fooled, it ignored the claws, jumping back
> slightly, it caught the
Tsuneo: Horde of commas.
> leg-blade in one hand.
Dan: Well that really worked.
> Sharply it crunched
> it's hand closed, DarkWind let out a cry of pain. The Boomer
> casually threw him to the floor.
All: Hooray!
Dan: Stomp on him!
Rebecca: Crush his head, you know you want to!
> "You must surrender, there is no choice", it said again.
All: [Bored] Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
> DarkWind was getting clumsily to his feet, using his wings to
> hold himself upright.
Dan: Well, you could start by getting your legs back.
> This Boomer was nothing if not persistent.
Tsuneo: Persistent? It's whacked him once, and he calls it persistent?
> He quickly flicked on his communicator, and sub-vocalised a message
> to Kathy (Note: Sub-vocalised means that while he made no noise,
> the communicator picked up the message due to vibrations around
> it).
Rick: There you go folks. Your educational content for the fic.
Rebecca: That bit sounded so much like something from Sheep Sheep.
Dan: Yeah. It was pretty baaaaaad.
Rick: Ewe said it.
> "Jim?!?", where are you, came Kathy's concerned voice.
Tsuneo [Kathy]: And what happened to my quotation marks?
> "No time, the Boomers have been re-programmed, they've got
> some kind of hyper-combat system",
Dan: They've been drinking way too much coffe.
Rick: [Jim] I'm loosing, and I've got to make up a bad excuse.
> he quickly explained.
> The Boomer bellowed again, "You have ten seconds to
> surrender", it said.
Tsuneo: [Boomer] Nine... eight... BLAM! Fooled you!
> "Sorry Kathy, I've got to go, take care of yourself", with
> that he shut off the communicator.
Rick: That has to have been ten seconds there.
> ******
> "JIM!",
Rick: ADRIAN!
Rebecca: KAHN!
Dan: HORTENSE!
Tsuneo: HELP!
> Kathy nearly screamed into the microphone.
> Robert, winced at the feedback, "He's offline,
Dan: [Robert] Just e-mail him a message for later.
> I've got a
> trace though", he said. Kathy dodged the helicopter under a
> walkway, only just missing the ground. "Watch it!", Robert said,
> as he passed within a few meters of becoming a wet smear on the
> concrete.
Rebecca: While leaving a wet smear on the seat.
> Kathy grunted
Rick: Oh, look, it's her best dialogue yet.
> and hauled the Stalker up to a higher altitude.
> They still couldn't find the other Boomer,
Rebecca: Tried looking behind the couch? It's always there.
> it was dodging around
> the Mall, keeping out of sight. Kathy was about to suggest that
> they leave this Boomer and go and find Jim,
Tsuneo: Letting it run around and kill as many people as it wants.
> when it suddenly appeared on the roof of the building.
Dan: [Boomer] Yoo-hoo! Down here!
> Kathy jinked again, as a
> flag-pole speared through the air at them, the Boomer had run out
> of ammo for it's grenade launcher and was using whatever was at
> hand.
Tsuneo: That run-on sentence probably provided a fair deal of ammo.
> Robert targeted his last missile at the Boomer, firing as soon
> as he achieved a lock. Unfortunately the Boomer anticipated this
> move. As soon as the missile dropped from its launch rack, the
> Boomer fired at the missile
Dan: If it's still got autocannon ammo, why not fire rahter than
throwing flagpoles?
> detonating it just below the right wing.
Rick: Uh, hello? Does anyone here really believe that it could fire
that quickly and that accurately?
> Fortunately the Epsilon Industries designers had prepared
> for an accidental missile detonation,
Dan: This kind of thing must happen a lot.
> and the cockpit was
> reinforced along both sides near the missile-wings.
Rebecca: Ah, dammit!
> Kathy fought to regain control of the Stalker, as it fell from
> the sky.
Tsuneo: Boy, the weather's really terrible today.
> They were spinning towards the ground rather quickly.
> Robert grabbed his set of control, helping Kathy to regain control.
Dan: Because, of course, she can't manage anything herself.
> They managed to stop their descent a few meters from the ground.
> The helicopter's wing was amputated, occasional sparks showered
> down.
Rick: Light rain towards the coast and be on the lookout for falling
helicopters.
> Robert winced at the damage readout,
Dan: And then he realised the damage readout was damaged.
> the helicopter had
> structural damage and had lost almost half its weapons systems.
Tsuneo: And the paint job would never be the same again.
> "Jim's gonna be pissed", he thought to himself.
Rebecca: Tough shit.
> "Kathy, we've got
> to head back to the hangar!", Robert called over his shoulder (the
> internal communications were out).
> Kathy shook her head, "We can abandon Jim,
Rick: Now there's an idea I like.
Rebecca: That may be a typo, but I like it more this way.
> I'm taking us
> towards his last position. She pulled up on the collective,
Rick: Wow. actual aviation terminology.
> urging the wounder chopper up towards the night sky.
> The Boomer decided not to waste any more ammo, even in it's
> weakened condition the helicopter's armour was still formidable.
Rebecca: Even though Jim was worried about the BU-12's widdly 12.7mms
in the last chapter.
> It turned suddenly at the sound of motorcycle engines.
Rick: And motorslaves breaking.
> Recognising the Knight Sabres, it's programming took over.
Dan: And it went down there to get their autographs.
> ******
> DarkWind shuffled towards the window as the Boomer continued
> to count down.
Rick: This is a mighty long 10 seconds.
> He desperately spread his wings, attempting to fly
> out the window. A laser beam tore through the membrane on his left
> wing, causing him to flop to the ground.
> The Boomer picked him up carefully, "You will now come with
> me!", it said.
Rebecca [Jim]: But you're not my type!
> Jim mentally cursed himself for not being quick enough. As
> the Boomer's fist impacted into his chest.
Tsuneo: First run-ons, now sentence fragments. What's with this guy?
> His final thought was
> before dropping into unconsciousness was a hope that Kathy never
Dan: Got a brain of her own.
> runs into one of these things alone.
Rebecca: Even though she did better than he did in part one.
> ******
> The Boomer was just turning to leave with it's prize
Dan: Now the boomer's slinging him over its shoulder.
> when a sharp blade cut into it's back.
Rebecca [Sylia]: Guess who?
> Dropping the prone figure
Tsuneo: Ummm... they're only prone when they're lying down.
> the
> Boomer spun quickly, looking for his assailant. He turned just in
> time to receive a point-blank cannon blast from Sylia's arm-cannon.
All: WA-TAK!
> The Boomer backed away, it's sensors almost useless.
Tsuneo: Youngster, your brain is useless I guess.
> Shielding
> itself the Boomer turned and ran, it's new combat systems refusing
> to engage in blind-combat.
All: Run away! Run away!
> Sylia stood shock still, as the Boomer engaged it's jets and
> flew from the building.
Rick: Never mind shooting at it or anything.
> "Normally it would have stayed to fight",
> she thought to herself. She had arrived just in time to see
> DarkWind being picked up by the Boomer.
Rebecca: And here I thought he wasn't into boomers.
> Nene was already back in
> the van, she had some bad burns to her shoulder
Rebecca: [Mumbles]
> and her leg was a
> mess. Sylia looked at the body lying before her,
Tsuneo: [Sylia] Mackie, better get the spatula.
> sighing she moved to pick it up.
> Sylia jumped back as it melted, this time there was no
> spectacular shimmer,
Rick: I wonder why not?
Dan: Special effects department was on strike.
> the body seemed to collapse back on itself.
> After a moment she was standing over the body of a young man, she
> recognised him as the same one as she had followed a few weeks
> back.
Rick: You mean the one who wanted a meeting with, quote "the people
who followed him?"
> He was lying naked on the floor,
Rebecca [Sylia]: Oooh!
Tsuneo: *That's* why his clothes ripped this time.
> there were burns on his
> back and his leg was twisted at an odd angle.
Dan: [Grinning] That looks permanent.
> Sylia blushed slightly
Rick: And there is no way that is Sylia.
> as she wrapped him up in a tablecloth, cradling him under
> one arm,
Tsuneo: That is one mighty huge arm.
> she turned and hurried back to the van.
> ******
> Priss and Linna sighed in relief as
Tsuneo: The fic ended?
Voice: Not yet.
> they switched off their
> bikes, the combat cycles had taken quite a bit of damage in their
> fight with the BU-12.
Rick: Armed as it was with a run on sentence.
Rebecca: Amazing. Priss's motorslave is still there..
> Priss took off her helmet and shook out her sweaty hair, "God,
> I didn't think that thing would ever die", she commented to Linna.
Dan: You're one to talk.
> Linna nodded, "It was certainly persistent", she agreed.
Rick: They wouldn't shut up and go away.
> "I still can't work out why they're self-destructing like
> that", Priss said in frustration.
Tsuneo: On the brink of system shutdown, the complete works of
Brett Handy gets downloaded directly into its brain.
> The two Boomers that they had
> fought tonight had both dissolved in the same way, leaving no
> dangerous corrosives and no trace of the Boomer itself.
Dan: You mean apart from that messy puddle he mentioned earlier?
> Looking around they were suddenly aware that no-one was in the
> hanger area to meet them. "Where the hell is everyone?",
Rick: I hear Hawaii's nice this time of year.
> Priss
> said in a peeved voice. She noticed the command van was back in
> it's parking spot, so the others had to be here somewhere.
> The two had just finished getting out of their suits when
> Mackie appeared.
Rebecca: That's right, he waits until they're undressed before
showing up.
Dan: well, this *is* Mackie.
Rick: Yeah, not Makoto.
Tsuneo: Okay, leave it out.
> "Where have you been", he said, almost seeming angry.
> Priss looked at him thoughtfully,
Rebecca: Thus proving it wasn't Priss.
Rick: Hey, is it just me, or is Priss the only one who's Brett
clone hasn't gotten dumber?
Dan: I'm not sure how to take that one.
> "What's wrong with you?", she asked.
Tsuneo: [Mackie] I'm caught in a crappy self-insertion fic with
moronic clones of my friends!
Rick: [Mackie] I've been replaced by weenieman from El Hazard!
> He grunted
Rebecca: [Mackie] Ugh. Me horny.
Dan: Not yet, but they'll be reduced to that pretty soon.
> and motioned them to follow him. Linna looked
> across at Priss and shrugged, they both followed Mackie upstairs.
Tsuneo: Why doesn't he tell them down there?
Dan: And why doesn't he let them get dressed first?
Rebecca: It *is* Mackie!
> Mackie led them to the infirmary, the two gasped as they saw
Rick: How old and wrinkled Gates McFadden had become in the last
two movies.
> Nene
> lying on one of the beds. "What happened?", Linna asked quietly.
> Mackie explained that Nene had tried to take on a C-55 by
> herself and had got trashed.
Dan: [Priss] So, what else is new?
> "DAMN!", Priss snarled, punching the door in frustration.
Rebecca: Hey, what did that thing ever do to you?
> Linna shook her head, "Poor Nene, we
> shouldn't have left her alone", she said.
Rebecca: [Linna] With Mackie.
> "You did the right thing", said Sylia, coming down the
> hallway, "No solo actions, remember?".
Dan: [Sylia] Hint, hint, Priss.
> Priss grunted, "Look where that got us", she complained.
Rick: [Sylia] Yes, Priss. Look where solo actions get us.
> Sylia frowned slightly, "We also have another guest", she
> said.
Tsuneo: Who? Takei?
Dan: Burt van Millet?
> Priss and Linna looked at each other, "Oh.. Who?", Linna asked
> quickly.
Tsuneo: As if you couldn't guess.
> "He saved Nene from the C-55", Mackie explained, motioning
> them to the other room.
> "JIM!", Linna and Priss said together in shock, looking at the
> figure sleeping in the bed.
Dan: The man who manages to miraculously appear wherever you go.
Rick: Um, speaking of which, what happened to the Griffon?
[Long pause]
Rebecca: Good point.
Tsuneo: I guess he decided *his* story ideas were better.
Rick: And while we're at it, where's Irene? Does she vanish off into
a vacuum after authours save her, or what?
> ******
> Kathy landed the helicopter carefully in the parking lot of
> the Hilton.
Rick: You know, there's valets to do that for you.
> Motioning Robert to remain in the chopper,
Rebecca: Sit! Stay! Good boy.
Dan: No, they get up to that later.
> she jumped
> quickly down to the pavement. She ran quickly up the stairs
> towards the restaurant, carefully she stepped into the restaurant,
Rick: Barging past the maitre d'.
Tsuneo: And the run-on sentences
> looking around at the overturned tables and laser burns on the
> walls.
Rick: Man, someone really didn't like the decor in here.
> She walked forward, looking around the room for some sign
> of the enemy (or Jim).
> She crossed the room to where one of the windows had been
> smashed outwards. Looking around she saw burn marks from some kind
> of jet exhaust and some hydraulic fluid on the floor.
Rebecca: [Kathy] Now could it be that there was a boomer here?
> She turned
> to walk from the room, when a small glint of metal caught her eye,
> it was lying not far from the window.
Dan: [Kathy] Ooh! Shiny thing!
> She reached down and picked
> up the tiny disc. It was Jim's communicator. "The only way for
> this to come out is if Jim was unconscious long enough to loose his
> form", Kathy thought.
Tsuneo: Or he wanted to get rid of it.
Rick: Why would he do that?
Tsuneo: So Kathy couldn't follow him around.
> She looked around the room again, seeing no sign of Jim's body
Dan: Like she would have missed any before?
> she quickly headed back to the helicopter.
Rick: Pardon me, but shouldn't this hotel be jam packed with guests,
staff, security, police or something like that?
Rebecca: Yeah, probably.
Rick: So no-one's going to notice a seven-foot tall golden haired
monster wander in and out again?
Dan: Aparently not.
Rick: Or the huge black helicopter in the car park?
Tsuneo: They probably should.
Rick: And everyone's okay with this?
Rebecca: No. We've just stopped thinking.
Rick: Sounds like a good idea.
> Robert glanced back over his shoulder at her, "Anything?", he
> asked.
Tsuneo: [Kathy] Just busy proving everything the riffers have been
saying about my intelligence.
> Kathy held up the communicator. Robert frowned, "That means
> he's unconscious", he said.
> Kathy looked at him sadly, "Or dead", she added quietly.
All: [cheer wildly]
> The Stalker lifted slowly into the sky, shuddering slightly,
> its broken wing trailing smoke. Kathy turned the helicopter back
> towards the hidden hanger,
Rick: Speaking of which, isn't anyone going to notice this huge,
black, *heavily armed* helicopter flying around and try to follow it?
> her thoughts as dark as the night sky.
All: Oooh.
Tsuneo: Given all the neon lighting, that ain't too dark.
> ******
> Nene blinked, her eye's adjusting to the bright morning light.
Tsuneo: Okay, what about the other one?
> "What a nightmare", she thought,
Rebecca: [Nene] And you were there, and you, and this big guy with
black wings...
> then she looked around, realising that she was
Tsuneo: Still in the fic.
> in the infirmary.
> Nene sat up painfully, her shoulder was sore but the pain was
> bearable. "So your finally awake?", came Mackie's voice.
Rick: [Nene] No, I'm sleepwalking.
> Nene nodded tiredly, picking up a glass of water that was on
> a side-table. She drank the water down, and then turn to Mackie.
Dan: Aah! Nene's a shapeshifter!
Tsuneo: No, that's just a typo... I hope.
> "How long have I been here", she asked.
> Mackie put down the manual he was reading
Rebecca: And to his dying breath he'd swear that's what it was.
> and looked at her
> closely, "It's been three days since the fight", he said, "We were
> starting to worry about you".
Dan: Only now? What about the last two days?
> Nene frowned, "Why would you worry, I've only got a few
> scratches", she said.
Rick: Yeah! This is BGShift, where a shoulder hit is nothing!
> Mackie looked her straight in the eye, "Your leg was pretty
> bad, you needed surgery", he said quietly.
Tsuneo: [Mackie] Which is why we dragged you home rather than taking
you to a hospital.
> Nene looked down at her leg in shock, it was in a cast. "Am
> I going to be alright?", she asked in a small voice.
Tsuneo: Unfortunately, yes.
> A voice from the doorway interrupted their conversation, "Of
> course you are", said an exasperated Priss.
Rebecca: [Priss] Despite my best efforts.
> Nene smiled slightly, "Oh, that's right, You're the one that's
> experienced in getting wounded", she said tartly.
Dan: Hissy fit! Hissy fit!
> Priss grinned and walked into the room, Linna and Sylia
> followed her in. "Glad to see your awake",
Tsuneo: [Linna] But my awake's still better.
> said Linna, "We all
> know how much you like to sleep in, but it was getting ridiculous".
All: Ha ha hahaha.
Rebecca: Kill her.
> Nene's smile widened,
Rick: Any wider and the top of her head'll fall off.
> "I think I've slept enough", she said.
> She carefully swung her legs off the bed and sat up.
Tsuneo: She was already sitting up, but never mind.
> Carefully
> testing her body she gingerly rose to her feet, using the crutches
> beside her bed. Everyone looked at her strangely, "What, you think
> I'm going to lie there for another three days?", she asked.
Dan: Why not? It wouldn't be your record.
> Linna looked accusingly at Priss, "You've been rubbing off on
> her I see", she commented.
Rebecca: [Linna] Again! Stop leaving me out of the action!
Dan: [Sylia] God dammit, you could at least wait until she wakes up!
[Rick and Tsuneo sit stunned]
Tsuneo: I can't believe you just said that!
Dan: I can't bleieve *I* just said that!
> Priss shrugged, "Hey, don't blame me...", she began.
Rebecca: [Priss] She was the one that got me pissed.
> Mackie stood, picking up his manual, "Well if your all in
> here,
Dan: [Mackie] I'd better keep watching, in case something interesting
happens.
Tsuneo: What's wrong with you today?
Dan: [Shrugs] If you can't beat 'em...
> I'd better go and keep an eye on our other guest", he said,
> walking from the room.
Rick: And there's the pitch...
> "Other guest??", Nene asked curiously.
Tsuneo: Which one?
Rebecca: As if we couldn't guess.
> Sylia nodded, "Lets go and get some breakfast and I'll
> explain", she said.
> Nene noticed that she *was* feeling rather hungry,
Dan: Lying in bed for three days kinda does that.
Rick: Nene's *always* hungry!
> so she let her friends help her up to Sylia's living area.
> ******
> Nene was gulping down her third muffin with honey,
Dan: But that's getting a bit carried away.
> as she listened to Sylia explain about their houseguest.
Rick: [Sylia] He leaves his laundry lying around everywhere, never
pays the rent on time...
Rebecca: [Sylia] Oh, yeah, and it's Nene's turn to drool all over
him today.
> The four women
> were sitting around Sylia's dinner table, a dishevelled Dr Raven
Dan: Talk about the department of redundancy department.
> was hunched over a computer terminal in the next room.
Dan: And what's he doing here anyway?
Rebecca: Getting his appearance fee.
> "We don't know very much,
Rebecca: No, you don't do you?
> only that his genetic structure is
> radically different to ours", Sylia concluded
Rick: [Sylia] On the other hand, it could just be another pair of
Priss' socks.
> "Is he even human?", Linna asked of no-one in particular.
Tsuneo: That one's just too easy.
> "I don't think so,
Dan: You won't get any arguments there.
> he resembles a human male,
Rebecca: Sylia said with an immense smirk on her face.
Rick: [Sylia] But no-one's that poorly- [Dan whacks him with a cushion.]
> but I'd have to
> say that he's a totally different species",
All: Naw!
> called Dr Raven, who was busily studying the data on their guest.
Tsuneo: [Dr. Raven] My god, his page is full of crappy fics.
> "I thought that you only dealt with machines, pops", commented
> Priss.
Rebecca: No, *she* only deals with machines.
Dan: [Whacks Rebecca repeatedly with a cushion] That's enough outta you!
> "The human body is a machine, it just uses different fuel than
> a motorbike",
Tsuneo: And it's squishier, built differently, hard to put back
together when it's broken and doesn't have tyres.
> he retorted. "And call me 'Doctor'", he added after
> a moments thought.
> "Why did he save me?", Nene mumbled around a large mouthful of
> bacon.
Dan: Because he wants to steal you from Bert.
Rick: Whoah, she can really pack it away.
> Sylia shook her head, "I don't know, hopefully he'll tell us
> when he wakes up", she said.
Rick: [Sylia] And pay his bills! I'm not running a charity here.
> Nene winced remembering the descriptions of his injuries,
> laser burns to a good portion of his body, and multiple fractures to
> his legs and a serious concussion.
Rebecca: As well as groin strain and a really sore left arm.
> She shook her head, "Well
> whatever his reasons I'm glad he did", she said quietly.
Rick: But we're not.
> Priss nodded, "Yeah, that Boomer was ready to toast you", she
> agreed.
Dan: Do you want your Nene lightly grilled or well done?
> "That's something I meant to ask", Nene said, suddenly
> remembering the Boomer's strange behaviour, "Why was that Boomer
> acting so strange".
Tsuneo: He went to NIDA.
> The three other Knight Sabres looked at each other, "We have
> no idea", said Sylia.
Rebecca: You guys don't know much, do you?
> ******
> "I'm telling you, those Boomers were acting strange",
Rebecca: This is, of course, coming from the guy whose partner is
Daley.
> shouted Leon.
Rick: Whoah! Not so loud, dude.
> He was standing in front of the chief's desk, his hands on his hips.
> "File a report", suggested the chief,
Dan: Yes, that *is* standard procedure.
> also shouting, "Get the hell out of here,
Rebecca: Please?
> you've got better things to do than try 'Boomer Psychology',
Tsuneo: No, they've got a department for that.
> just get back to work".
> Leon slammed the door on his way out. The chief never
> listened to a thing he said.
Rick: And I'm sure that's mutual.
Dan: Apart from half the series, but never mind.
> That Boomer the other night acted in
> a totally different way than any other he had witnessed.
Rick: The pink tutu and the ballet shoes were a worrying sign.
> Firstly
> when he had arrived, the Boomer was searching for something
> specific.
Tsuneo: [Boomer] Can you give me a hand here? I've lost my contacts.
> Secondly, when that helicopter arrived it had retreated
> and taken cover in the mall.
Dan: Isn't that the kind of thing that *military* boomer programming
would normally cover?
> Now Leon had many years of experience with the ADP,
Rick: Before joining, I might add.
> he had fought all kinds of Boomers,
Rebecca: And slept with several others.
Dan: Well, this *is* Leon.
> but not once had he ever seen a Boomer run and take cover.
Dan: Man, where have you been?
> He had seen Boomers retreat, running from a superior force,
Tsuneo: I presume then that's not from the ADP.
> but taking cover and using
> the buildings to get an advantage over an airborne opponent,
> *never*.
Rebecca: well, given that the airborne opponents they usually face
are those damned ADP Fire-Bees...
> Leon slumped at his desk, crawling through a mountain of
> paperwork.
Rick: Event 48 in the red tape olympics: The paperwork mountain-
climbing.
> He glanced over to Nene's empty desk. The poor girl
> had taken a bad fall off her scooter and
Dan: You believed that?
Rick: It's probably Nene's standard excuse. That scooter of hers must
have more scars than Priss.
> hurt her leg. He was
> wondering if he should drop around after work, when Nene stumbled
> into the office!
> Everyone looked up in surprise, Nene was walking with the aid
> of crutches.
Tsuneo: I don't see why they're so surprised. It ususally happens
after you've broken your leg.
> Leon grinned and helped her into her seat. "Good to
> see you", he said sincerely.
Rick: [Leon] And not that new blonde ditz they've got in.
Tsuneo: Let it go, man. Let it go.
> Nene smiled at him, "Good to *be* seen", she said.
Rebecca: [Nene] Buy my videos, please!
> Everyone crowded around her desk, asking if she was alright
> and what had happened.
Dan: [Nene] I fell off my scooter. Didn't I already tell you?
> Everyone was enjoying themselves,
Rick: Man, this is meant to be an offic. You're not allowed to
enjoy yourselves!
Rebecca: And it isn't even the christmas party.
> until a
> bellow echoed from the Chief's office, "Your suppose to be police
> officers, not a bloody chat group!", he screamed.
Dan: Aaahhh... I miss Todo.
> Everyone
> disappeared as the Chief walked over to Nene's desk. Nene looked
> at him uncertainly, "Good to see you back", he said quietly, before
> he retreated back into his office.
Rebecca: [Todo] My office, five miutes.
Rick: [Todo] You're gonna fry, girl.
> Leon was about to leave for his own desk when Nene touched his
> arm lightly, "Where's Kathy?", she asked.
Dan: She probably bashed her head against the door trying to open it
and knocked herself out.
> Leon sighed, "She's taken some time off",
Tsuneo: She's lost in her wardrobe.
Rick: Does she have a walk-in?
Tsuneo: No.
> he explained, "She
> says that a friend of her's has gone missing and she wanted some
> time to go and look for him".
Rick: So why not tell the police? She is supposedly a police officer,
right?
Rebecca: Kathy needs to be told to tie her shoes in the morining.
> Nene nodded, "I'll drop by her place on my way home then", she
> said. Leon jumped off her desk,
Dan: BUNGEE!
> "Well, I've got work to do,
Rick: Now that's just not Leon.
> I'll see you later", she said.
> Nene frowned thoughtfully, "I wonder how much Kathy knows", he
> mused.
All: Not much!
> ******
> Mackie looked up from the game he was playing on his terminal.
Dan: Knowing Mackie, it's Tomb Raider.
> "Did he just move", he thought,
Rebewcca: No, he just hasn't been breathing for the last few days.
> studying his patient carefully. He
> stood and walked over to the bed. He blink in surprise as the man
> groaned loudly.
Tsuneo: My god! The grammar's just slipped down *another* notch!
> Mackie picked up the phone, "Sis, I think he's waking up", he
> said.
Rick: [Phone voice] Yeah, very nice, but this is the pizza parlour.
> A few minutes later Sylia and Priss walked into the room.
Rebecca: Adjusting their clothes.
Dan: [Priss] No, I think you've got my bra.
> Mackie had resumed his seat and was watching
Rick: Lara's ass wobble.
> their patient closely.
> Priss walked over to the bed, examining the man closely, he looked
> a lot better than the last time she was here.
Tsuneo: Priss, that's why he's resting here.
> He groaned again, rolling over slightly.
Dan: [Jim, mumbled] Was it good for you too?
> Sylia tapped his face slightly, "Hey, come on Jim, wake up",
Rebecca: [Sylia] Time for your herbal enema.
> she said quietly, using the name that Priss and Linna had given her.
Rick: What? Asshole?
> Jim's eyes flew open almost as soon as she touched him, and he
> moved to sit up. "No, don't try to move yet, you've been
> unconscious for almost a week", she said, holding him down.
Tsuneo: Not that it stops any of them.
> He looked at her carefully, "Who are you??", he said quickly,
> almost in a panic.
Rick: The Demon God Ifurita! [They all throw cushions at him.]
Dan: Kasumi!
> Sylia smiled slightly, "I'm a friend, you were badly hurt",
> she said.
Rebecca: That sounds about as believable as "I'm from the government,
I'm here to help you."
> He frowned, "If your my friend?",
Rick: [Jim] Why are you pointing that gun at me?
> he said cautiously, at a nod
> from her he continued, "can you tell me who *I* am?", he asked
> desperately.
All: Aaaaak!
Dan: That's the lamest one I've heard! It even leaves "My navigation
systems are damaged" as an excuse to hang around at Sylias!
> ******
> Author's Notes:
Tsuneo: [Authour] This fic sucks.
> That's another part finished...
Rick: [Authour] Wheather you like it or not.
> I'd have to say I'm enjoying writing this one,
Rebecca: With one hand, obviously.
Dan: Well we're not enjoying reading it.
> BGC is much closer to the technology level that
> DarkWind (as an RPG character) was designed for. I hope I'm
> getting the BGC characters correct - my pre-readers all seem to
> think so.
All: [Break out laughing]
Tsuneo: Who was his review group?
Rick: His pet cat, his dead aunt, and his invisible magical sock
puppet, Mr. Thunderwing.
Dan: Where did that one come from?
Rick: [Shrugs]
> One thing you might notice is that I'm writing Nene a
> bit differently than normal in this part.
Dan: She's not the only one.
> She is also going to change slightly in the future -
Rick: She'll get a hair cut and dye it blonde.
Dan: One more from you, and I'll fling you out the window!
Rick: I'll be good.
> comes from almost dying, I'm taking
> the approach that when faced with death, Nene will
Rebecca: Pee her pants in terror and whimper.
Dan: Close.
> take a look at
> her life and decide that she's been taking things too easy (letting
> the other KS do the fighting for her, etc).
Tsuneo: Eh? He assumes that this is going to happen after this crap
rather than, say, after fighting a 55C solo?
> There are probably
> other results that she could take (ie: getting really scared, not
> wanting to be a KS any more.. etc), but I feel that she's been
> scared so long of Boomers (look at how she fights), that she's
> ready to actually take control of her own safety.
Rick: That's got nothing to do with being scared. That's because
she's a pathetic little wimp.
> Ok well everyone has different opinions, so here's mine
> (Thanks go to SkyKnight
Dan: SkyKnight? That explains a lot.
Rick: Eh?
Dan: Bert Van Millet. BGC SI. Built a super hardsuit, saved Irene, Sho's
mother, Sylvie... And wound up with Nene.
Rick: Nene? That's kinda sad, actually.
Rebecca: It does explain a lot though.
Dan: Did I mention that his fics inspired "Tales Of The Red Knight Saber"
and "Esper Chronicles?"
Tsuneo: Shut up.
> for our chat about peoples reactions to danger/death),
Tsuneo: Ie: Scream and wait for the self-insertion to save them.
> everyone has different opinions of the characters -
> don't get upset if mine differ from yours
Dan: Or those of the original creators.
> (don't worry too much, Nene will *NOT* become a ruthless Boomer killer -
Rick: The Pink Avenger!
> but she *will* take more responsibility in fights).
> Again I invite everyone who wants to comment, mail me at the
> address below.....
Tsuneo: Note that he doesn't actually include his e-mail adress.
Dan: Ah, damn.
> Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Rebecca: You're obviously a masochist, mate.
> -----Brett Handy (aka: DarkWind)
[The TV switches off]
Dan: Ugh...
Rick: Well that whole experience totally sucked ass.
Rebecca: Do we do our reviews now?
Voice: Wait until after part four.
Tsuneo: There's more of this garbage?
Voice: Don't worry. Part four is the shortest of them all.
Dan: It's still scary.
[They all stand up and stretch]
Rebecca: Man, that was a long one.
Rick: And pointless. I mean, it could have been so much shorter.
Rebecca: Yeah. Why couldn't Koopa written it instead?
Tsuneo: Hey, if Koopa wrote a self-insertion, would you notice?
Dan: Aack! I just had a scary thought.
Rebecca: What?
Dan: With the new BGC series, there's a whole load of potential
new fanboy's who've never seen BGC.
Rick: And, considering it's got good-looking girls featuring
prominently...
[Long pause]
Tsuneo: Oh my god. A whole new breed of BGC self-insertion.
Rebecca: That is just too scary to think about.
Rick: Come on, let's get outta here. I want to see it when the
new Knight Sabres meet their counterparts in the club.
Rebecca: [Grins] Now that could be fun.
[They all leave. The screen goes black.]
Voice: A whole new breed...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au)
Dan and Tsuneo are copyright 1995-1998 Max Fauth (Jinas)
Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-1998 Alex Fauth
(Rick R. Mortis).
Jinas' world:
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/index.htm
RPG info, amateur fanfics, MSTing site and official Bubblegum
Crossfire material.
Rick's Mecha Madness Page:
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm
AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only
Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and
Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Linna looked accusingly at Priss, "You've been rubbing off on
> her I see", she commented.
(
geocities.com/timessquare/realm) (
geocities.com/timessquare)