Questions and Answers
A AAA Interlude
By Alex Fauth
An Alternate Earth - Empire City - 21 June, 2135. About 9 pm.
Earth. Take a look at it. There's many different versions of it.
The one this story concerns is a particularly ugly one. This particular
Earth has shed a lot of it's green in favour of vast tracts of the browns
and yellows scorched wastelands, or the greys of ruined cities and the
burgeoning remaining ones. One of these cities is Empire City (formerly
known as New York), the capital of the New Earth Government, or Earthov
for short.
Rick R. Mortis's black Countach sped through the dark streets of
Empire City. All around him loomed the massive, gargoyle-festooned
skyscrapers that seemed to be the in thing in this city (and would have
been perfect for caped crimefighters to lurk on, if there were any in
Empire city). The dull black of his car seemed to fit perfectly with the
dull greys and browns of the city, and the dark mood he was in.
Two days ago at Monday Night Biffo, a mysterious female avatar
wearing Southern Cross battle armour had challenged Michael Austin to a
fight. There was something familiar about the voice that he hadn't been
able to put his finger on. So Rick had tried to find out what he could
about her. And turned up blanks. So he had come to this universe to look
up a friend of his. One who he knew could help him.
"Are we there yet?" Karen moaned from the passenger seat. "My legs
are getting cramped. I'm hungry. And why couldn't you buy a sensible
American made sports car?" She added.
Rick rolled his eyes. Karen hadn't been his first choice of
companion for this trip, but he needed one. Rebecca was busy, Tsuneo
wouldn't have liked it and would have complained about the amount of brown
(his least favourite colour) and he didn't want to introduce Dan to his
contact, as he would never hear the end of it. Natasha had volunteered to
come along, but had phoned up at the last minute to say that she had a
headache and that the universe hated her. Again.
He also wished that she didn't insist on wearing her police uniform
everywhere she went.
"We're here" he said as the car pulled up under an overhead rail
line. The two of them got out.
"This dump?" Karen said, indicating to a sign pointing to a
downstairs bar.
"Yup"
"Great". The two of proceeded down the stairs. Rick and Karen both
passed their guns to the huge, scary looking bouncer with the shotgun near
the door and paid the deposit. Rick entrered the bar and immidiately
spotted his contact. She did stand out a lot. It might have been her
attractive Asian features and long black hair. It might have been the
firm muscles on her arms. Or it could have just been her ludicrously big
breasts that she did nothing to hide.
He sat down. "Good to see you, Louisa" he began.
"Yeah right." She replied. "You only ever call me when you need
something." she paused. "And who's the midget?"
"Karen McMillain, Chicago SVD" Karen began chirpily, and extended
her hand. Louisa didn't take it.
"I'm sorry for snapping, Rick" she apologised. "I'm about to be
transferred back out to the wastelands and I'm not looking forwards to it."
"Wow. That sucks"
"So what did you call me for?"
"I need your help" he began. "I know that the Colonial Intelligence
Division keeps a database of Avatars"
"True" she replied. "Ever since all those guys called David showed
up on Atlantica"
"I need you to do a search for a particular avatar and tell me what
you find"
"Is that all?" she said, stifling a laugh. "It's hardly worth my
time."
"Please?" Rick began. "It is important that I know who this person
is."
"Allright then. And tell you what. Seeing as this is such a basic
job, I'll waive my usual up-front fee and just ask for payment on what I
find" She said, casually. "So, tell me what you got on this Avatar"
"Not much. I know that she's a female Avatar. And that she wears
Southern Cross Recon Patrol armour"
"Is that as in Robotech Masters or Super Dimensional Cavalry Southern
Cross?" Louisa asked.
"No sure, but almost certainly the former"
"Anything else?" She asked.
"I'd say she's of about 180 odd cm tall and an average build". He
paused. "Slight American accent but the voice could have been electronically
altered by the suit." He then thought for a second. "Left handed."
"That all?" Lousia replied
"Not enough for you?" Rick replied to her, grinning. "Do you want
measurements to boot?"
"I was only joking" she replied. "There are so few Southern Cross fans
out there that it should be a snap. I'll give you a call when I get the
results."
"Thanks." They shook hands, and were interrupted by a sob from the
seat next to Rick. He turned to see Karen face down on the table. "What's
up, Karen?"
"Why can't I look like that?" she said between sobs.
"There there" Rick comforted her. "I'm sure that puberty will kick in soon"
*****
Louisa sat down in front of her computer, waiting for it to boot up.
"This is too easy" she thought to herself. "It's almost like I'm stealing
Rick's money." Some other people may have had problems with that, but Louisa
wasn't one of them. She had gotten this far by always looking out for Number
One.
A few seconds later he computer bleeped to confirm that she was logged
into the Colonial Intelligence Divisions Avatar Database. (Or CIDADB for an
ugly acronym). A dialogue box popped up to note that three new Sailor
Moon avatars had been added in the last 24 hours and that Pat Lee's record
had finally been placed in the "Dead" bin.
"Okay, now to buisness" she said as she entred the search mode.
"let's start with the basics..." for Series, she selected "Robotech" for a
start. The list slimmed down. She added "Female" for Gender, and then after
another huge reduction added "Southern Cross" in the miscellaneous section.
No results.
Odd. She backed up to the main database, and selected series as "Super
Dimensional Cavalry Southern Cross". There were no matches.
"Very very odd" she thought. "Well, there's only one thing to do..."
she Picked up her phone.
*****
In the universe just next door. 15th February, 2099
Matt Brady sat on his couch in the rec room in his team's base. He
was watching the football. Nothing, not even the forthcoming war (that his
unit had already signed up for and had received a substantial amount up
front on) could dissuade him from this. So when the phone rang, he was
ready to let it ring until someone else got it or until whoever was
calling gave up.
"I'll get it!" Cindy, his third in command and live-in bimbo called
as she ran past. A few second later, she screeched out "Matt! It's for
you!"
"Damn" he said as he got up and went over to the phone. Cindy shot
an evil, accusing glare at him.
"It's some girl" she said and walked off, leaving the receiver
dangling.
Matt picked it up. "Hello?" he said in his most suave voice.
"Hi Matt" came the voice on the other end. "It's Louisa"
"Well hey there babe" Matt replied before she could say anything
else. "So what can I do for you? Don't tell me that you've finally realised
how much of a gift to womanhood I am and want to come round to my universe
and-"
"In your dreams" Louisa cut him off, "I just need some info"
"From where?' Matt said, much quieter than he had been before.
"Well." she began. "I know that you have connections who can get me
info from the Das Nächtmen avatar database-"
"Not a dogs chance in hell" Matt cut her off. Das Nächtmen was the
secret police force of the United Earth Govornment. Though they
ad supposedly dissolved along with the UEG over twenty years ago, they had
been working on a world domination agenda all this time.
"And why not?" She asked. "I can pay a lot"
"No way" Matt replied, looking at Jonny Winters, one of his men who
was in turn glaring at him. "I'm not gonna risk doing something that stupid
for any amount of cash."
"I see" She paused. "No way I could make you change your mind?"
Matt paused. "You could have sex with me. It wouldn't make me change
my mind though"
Louisa thought some dirty thoughts for a second regarding Matt and a
cactus, but stopped. "I understand. Some risks are too great to take." She
hung up.
*****
"Damn it" she said to her self. This was turning out to be a lot harder
than she thought. "Still, I do know some other people who may help"
*****
Several universes down the road. 3rd Mech, 2033
Nicosia Winters walked into her apartment and followed her usual
routine of shutting the door, removing her hair clip, booting up her
computer and checking her answering machine. Anyone else would have been in
a worse mood. In the last two hours, she had silenced one of the biggest
threats to her cover, been in a vicious firefight with several combat
boomers both with and without the protection of her hardsuit, nearly had
her cover blown and she had faced being thrown out of the group she had so
carefully infiltrated.
She took a look at the Neo-Angelies skyline, taking note for the
upty-dozenth time of the amusing red texta marks the last occupant of the
flat had left on the window. When closed, it formed a target sight over the
Neo-Angeles Genom Tower.
The Answering Machine bleeped and squaked out a "sound only" message.
"This is Louisa. I need your help on a little project."
Nicosia sat down at her desk , picked up the phone and called Louisa.
"Louisa Chang speaking. How can I help you?" came the cheery response on the
other end.
"This is Nicosia" she replied flatly. "You called."
Louisa paused for a second. Nicosia's flat delivery allways surprised
her. "I need your help" she replied. "I need some info from your
organisation's Avatar Database"
"Who about?" Nicosia replied.
"Female Southern Cross avatar. 180 cm tall. Medium build. Left handed."
Louisa replied. "That's all I know at this point"
"Fine" Nicosia replied. "This will cost you"
"How much?"
"The usual finders fee, donated straight into the retirement fund."
She paused. "With a 10 percent up front"
Louisa swore silently. "Fine then. I'll transfer the money
immediately"
"Thankyou" Nicosia said, and hung up. She immediately tuned to her
computer, and accesed the Avatar database. A few minutes later, she took a
look at the results with a moderate degree of surprise.
"This is interesting" she said as she reached for the telephone.
Unfortunately, at that point the paticualr campaign world got ret-conned.
The last week of Nicosia's life vanished and re-wrote itself, thus leaving
her in Ualn Bataar with no forwarding number. Louisa never got a reply to her
message, and no info was forwarded to her.
Nicosia later died of an amusing accident involving a yak, but that's
irrelevant.
*****
Louisa was feeling more and more frustrated. Nicosia had vanished,
Matt was being uncooperative and the CISADB was still turning up nothing.
This called for desperate measures.
*****
In a universe in the next suburb. 25th May, 1998.
The Khaki and purple Willys Jeep drove slowly through the warehouses
on the LA waterfronts, it's driver trying not to attract any undue attention
(Well, any more than a khaki and purple WWII jeep would normally attract.)
Eventually, he came to a warehouse. After looking around to see that there
was no-one watching, he pulled out a remote control and pressed the button
to open the warehouse door. The jeep drove in, then the door shut behind it.
The interior of the warehouse looked more or less as one would have
expected it to, save for one thing. One wall was dominated by a large
computer or communications device (possibly both) that had clearly been
designed for someone three or more times the size of a normal human. The
driver of the jeep got out, and stood back. The jeep began to shift its
shape, re-forming into a giant khaki and purple robot.
"You be needing me any more this morning?" the man asked.
"Nah..." The Robot ,whose name was Swindle replied. "Take the rest of
the day off." He pulled out of seemingly nowhere several large bills. "But
keep your mobile on. I may need you"
"Thanks" the man said, and left through a side door.
Swindle walked over to his computer. While this one was a pretty
standard Decepticon computer and communications system, he had modified
it to suit his own needs. He had partitioned its main system and created
a secondary storage area that ran under a (hopelessly inefficient) human
-made operating system. This enabled him to access the human's Internet,
which was a great way to meet new potential clients.
Swindle was an arms dealer. He liked his job.
He booted up his computer in its Internet-Compatible mode, and logged
on to his E-mail system. He found one new e-mail.
"Hi there. It's Louisa. Can we talk? I'll be on our usual channel"
Swindle grinned. Louisa had been a source for some high-tech toys that
had made some of his best clients very happy indeed. She was probably after
some more info. Hew had no problems with that, as there seemed to be no
Transformers where she lived. He quickly logged on to the chatroom under
his usual handle ("YlwGP") only to find Louisa lurking there as her normal
self ("WonedrGrl")
YlwGP: So, wadda ya want?
WonderGrl: Some info from ypu.
YlwGP: Do tell.
WonderGrl: OK. I need some data from the Decepticon avatar archive.
YlwGP: And what do I get in return?
WonderGrl: Name your price.
YlwGP: One dozen beam rifles. And I mean the mech-mounted variety,
not pissy little hand guns. I kno some starving central acrifan nations
who would love them
WonderGrl: !!!!!
YlwGP: Oh... my connection seems to be going.
Wondergirl: Allright... Leach.
YlwGP: So, do tell wehat ya want.
WonderGrl: OK. Whaet we're after here is some info on a Southern Cross
avattar. We kno that sdhe's female, aboot 180 cm tall, average build, left
handed and waers TC-ReP armour.
YlwGP: Seems resonable. When do I get my rifle.s
Louisa: Half up front and half on delivery.
YlwGP: Fairy niff.
He logged off, and immediately rebooted the computer into its CyberOS
mode. A few seconds was all that it took to access the Decepticon Avatar
Archive on earth. While not a reliable as the one on Cybertron, it was much
more accessible. He immediately set to work, entering the parameters and
waiting for the results...
*****
Louisa let out a stream of unpleasant words as she re-read
Swindle's E-Mail.
"Sorry, couldn't find a thing. Where are my other 6 guns? :)
Swindle."
The smiley face was an obvious indicator to the level and development
of his sense of humour.
This left Louisa with only one choice. It was difficult, and there
were lots of risks involved. And she would have to go in person. But for
what she was gonna screw Rick over for on this data, it was going to be
worth it.
*****
In a universe on the other side of town. Don't know the date. Don't
care either.
Louisa trudged through the rain. Rain seemed to feature prominently
in her life. It seemingly always rained in Empire and now it was doing
it here in Hong Kong. She stared for the umpteenth time at the soaked wet
directions, and confidently turned towards a brightly lit alley. She
trudged into it, noting the green neon dragon sign accompanied by a bunch
of Chinese characters that didn't mean a thing to her. She signed, and
walked up a set of covered stars near the mouth of the alley, and stared
intently at the simple wooden door that marked the entrance.
She really, really didn't want to do this. But she'd wasted so much
money already on Nicosia and Swindle that she had to. She sighed for the
millionth time tonight, and entered.
If Louisa had noticed the opulance of the tea shop, she didn't care.
She barged her way past the birdcages, past the fish tanks, past the
trolleys, Past the customers and past the short, fat, dreadlocked
synthetic fish reapirman who was arguing in a thick Liverpudlian accent
with the manager over the price of some repairs. She made her way over to
one of the private booths, and sat down, bushing the feathers off her
shoulders.
"You're late" the woman opposite her snapped. Louisa looked at her.
She shared Louisa's asian fatures, as well as her long, thick black hair
and ludicrously sized breasts. Louisa, however was taller, wasn't waering
glasses and clearly more heavily muscled. Nor did she have the other
woman's pointed ears. Louisa quickly scanned the area, and groaned at the
sight of the other woman present - a dark-haired westerner in tight black
clothes, who was clearly grinning at her. And possibly drooling.
"I'm sorry," she apologised. "But my taxi blew up" Louisa said in her
private code that any of her contacts would immendiately know meant that
her Taxi blew up.
"Never mind" the woman replied. "Let's get down to business, shall
we?" She said as she exhaled a cloud of cigarette smoke at Louisa. She
replied with some frenzied coughing, and a mental reminder to log some
hours in the Regenerator Tank to get that gunk out of her lungs.
Thank god tobacco plants never made it to New Earth, she thought to
herself. "I'm after some information" she said, flatly, all the time trying
to ignore the way the other woman was staring at her cleavage.
"What sort of information"
"Information about an Author Avatar." She began. "I know that you
have had dealings with several of them in your time, and that your...
'Magic Voice' has some connection to AAA's Powers That Be"
"I see." She replied. "And do you know anything about this particular
avatar?"
"Only a little bit" Louisa replied. "Female is all I know for a fact.
She wore Southern Cross Tactical Corps Recon Division armour, which
narrows down the origin of this avatar to only two shows." She paused
before continuing. "She is about 180 centimetres tall, of an average build,
is left-handed and speaks with a slight American accent." She paused for
a second and added "Her voice could have been electronically altered by
the suit."
"Fascinating" her contact replied. "And what do you know about her
background?"
"Nothing. Except that she seems to have a bone to pic with Michael
Austin. This does seem to suggest Robotech Masters as an origin rather
than SDC: Southern Cross. She has only appeared once though, at the
Monday Night Biffo fight scene."
"And I take it your client is eager to have this information before
Elmer Fight Scene Four: Insert Title Here, right?"
"Right"
"Well then..." she began. "I'm sure that it is doable, but it will
cost you an awful lot."
"I thought as much" she said as she pulled out a black cylindrical
object. She then noticed the looks she was getting from the two women,
blushed, put it back and pulled out a different black cylindrical object.
"I'm sure this will cover it."
Her contacts reaction was cut off by the shadow that fell over the
booth. Louisa turned to the source, to see three of the biggest, ugliest
and most ludicrously overarmed thugs that she had ever met in her life.
The size and shape of one of them immediately put her in mind of the
pictures she had seen of Mout Fuji. But without the snow on top. And in a
cheap suit.
"Friends of yours?" her contact asked.
"I have no idea"
"Like that, eh?" she said as she reached for her gun. The other
woman pulled out a pair of SMGs from seemingly nowhere and extended Cyber
-Razors from her hands. Louisa pulled out her own CID Needler pistol.
Her life was approaching perfect right now.
*****
Louisa collapsed into her apartment, tired, angry, pissed-off at
the universe, bruised, battered, huge chunks of her clothes missing
(Couldn't that girl be a little more careful with those cyber-razors she
thought for the millionth time) and with a couple of lungfulls of tar
to get rid of.
All in all she was not having a good time of it.
She switched on her computer. It beeped to tell her that she had a
message. She immediately bought it up, and smiled. It was the info she had
been after. All the work had finally payed off. She quickly downloaded it
and read through it thoroughly.
No way. This can't be right. She thought. She re-read it. No way.
Rick would never believe this result. Her contact had to be giving her
the shaft.
But her contact had a reputation to maintain.
She couldn't have.
Could she?
Naah.
Louisa decided on a course of action. She would just have to give
Rick the info.
*****
Rick and Karen entered the bar again. Rick immediately noticed
Louisa. This time it wasn't the amount of exposed cheat that caught his
attention, but the dark look on her face. He and karen sat down at her
table.
"Hi there" he began nervously. "How's things going?"
"I have spent the last three days having rings run around me
following up your stupid little errand." She began, angrily. "I have been
shot at, leered at, had my clothes shredded, drenched in a torrential
downpour, thrown across rooms, dumped in a fishtank, subjected to second-
hand smoke, faced off with Akira the supergoon from hell, and humiliated
myself with the wrong black cylindrical object all in the course of half
an hour. And to top it all off, I find that CID has transferred me back
into the North American outback, which as you very well know is a terrible
place where every loony and his dog has a mech, they mark their territory
with dead animal heads on sticks, shoot things for fun and there is a
lack of decent hair salons. SO all in all I am not having a good time of
it!" She shouted. She then stopped as she noticed that the entire bar was
staring at her.
"Sorry" Rick replied meekly. "So, did you get the info I was after?"
he asked cautiously, half expecting Louisa to explode.
"No I didn't" she replied. "Not a trace of your mystery avatar.
Nothing. Nyet. Squat Diddly. Sweet Fanny Adams. Not a sausage. End of
story."
"Sorry" Rick replied meekly again. "So how much do I owe you?"
Louisa bashed her head against the table. "Don't worry about it,
Rick. Just never ask me to do another favour again, allright?'
"Okay" Rick replied meekly. "Let's go, Karen"
As she got up, Karen looked at Louisa. "There there" she replied.
"I'm sure that it's not that bad"
Endnotes.
Louisa is from a Mekton or possibly Silouette campaign I am working
on. Details can be made available if you ask. Louisa's measurements are a
Colonial Intelligence Division secret. (Sorry!)
Matt Brady is from a Mekton campaign that I am currently running.
He's one of the major villains (He appeared in the MSTing of "The Eternal
Struggle: A Final Fantasy 7 Valentine Special". The Campaign world Louisa
is from is an "Alternate Universe" of Matt's.
Nicosia Winters Is (or was) my PC from my brother's Bubblegum Crisis
RPG campaign set in Neo-Angeles. As of current writing, it looks like she
is going to be retconned out of the story.
Swindle was one of the Combaticons.
Thanks to Mike Surbrook for lending me Marta Nys and Ling Ling Li.
Empire city was based on the Empire City track from "Need For Speed
III."
(
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