Famous last Words

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Here is a collection of those famous last words, uttered by RPG characters (or players) just before they met their untimely demise.
- I push the button!
- Oops!
- We have more than enough ammunition!
- Itīs just an illusion!
- I open the door by turning the knob counterclockwise, walk down the stairs, carefully avoiding the second and fifth steps, open the secret compartment by pushing the 12th stone in the 4th column, carefully remove and discard the flask of curses, open the second secret compartment and fill my backpack with the 3682 GM, 776 SM, 294 KM, two gems worth 500 GM each, the dagger+3 and the two potions of invulnerability! Good guess eh?
- Thatīs not a real Dragon!
- I donīt need a rope, Iīm a good climber!
- He has true Faith and a Flamethrower? All right, I dominate him into turning over the weapon!
- The orcs are attacking me in this narrow hallway? I cast a fireball at them!
- You may want to move back, Iīve never tried this before ... How far? I donīt know - Iīve never tried this before!
- I step out of the burning area. (Unfortunately choosing the wrong direction)
- Itīs OK... there are no such things as Ninja.
- Iīll take anything the DM throws at me!
- I come in Peace and they shoot at me! Now I'm pissed!
- I sneak up to him invisibly.
- We donīt need a priest!
- What do you mean: He has magic resistance?
- Hello Mr. Uthgard Barbarian. May I introduce myself: I am a wizard.
- This is my new character, I rolled 18 for 5 attributes and 100 percetiles for strenght. Really I did!
- "It's only a baby dragon."
- DM: "The BugBear has you in a bear hug"
Gemdell: "Ok. I cast Flame Strike"
- "Hey whos the chick with all the spiders?"
(refering to Loth, drow queen/god)
- "Naww! I can swim across that with my armor on! (Full Plate)
- "They couldn't have trapped every door"
Not necessarily last Words but interesting quotes from our games nonetheless:
- A party of adventurers fall through a hole and tumble 10 meters into an
underground lake. One character says, "I tie a rope around my staff and
toss it up through the hole. What do you mean, I can't throw my staff 10
meters straight up while I'm floating in the water?"
- A group of superheroes confronted some villains in a warehouse. The Bad
Guys hold a hostage at gunpoint. "Nobody move or we'll shoot!" One of the
players announces, "I take one step forward to reduce the range penalty".
Naturally, when he moves the Bad Guy fires the gun at the hostage.
- A group of adventurers were sneaking into a hostile city in disguise, and
ordered their centaur slave to wait outside. The centaur decided to follow
them. DM: "You see a long row of crucified criminals as you approach the
gates. The guards grab a man out of the line of people waiting to enter the
city. They tear off his clothes and beat him nearly to death." The
centaur kept going. DM: "The captain of the guards orders his men to strip
off all your armor and take your weapons. Then he tells them to cut off
your tail." The player just shrugs.
- A wizard was blasted by a powerful spell when she tried to open a door. She
decided that the spell's magic must have been used up the first time, so she
tried the door again. This time the blast killed both her and the party's
ranger, who was standing nearby.
- An adventuring party led by a paladin was exploring an ancient temple.
After fighting many demons and monsters, they entered a chamber occupied by
a huge demon. The paladin boldly charged the demon - who promptly swung
his vorpal scythe and lopped off the paladin's head.
- During the same campaign, the party had been battling some dark elves led by
a powerful wizard. The wizard seemed to be nearly indestructible. The
party was saved when a black dragon suddenly appeared and ate the evil
wizard. The DM later confessed that the wizard only had 1 hit point left.
- The party was investigating a tomb. Two of the regular players were absent,
so their characters were being run as NPCs. After some argument we decided
that one of these temporary NPCs would go first, since that fit the way his
player usually ran him. After the character entered the tomb he was
possessed by an evil spirit that forced him to bite off and eat his own
thumbs.
- After the swashbuckler accidentally hit the wizard with his magic stiletto -
by throwing it into a hand-to-hand melee - he refused to touch the stiletto
again and left it lying on the ground, as if it was the stiletto that had
betrayed him instead of his own judgement.
- A halfling psionicist upon being asked to volunteer for the leading position in a trap infested dungeon: "Do you know the syntactic, semantic, traditional, philosophical, actual and logical definition of the word "NO" ?"
- A clericīs reply when asked to cast a neutralize poison spell on someone currently under the effect of a feign death spell: "I donīt want to waste the spell. Maybe he is already dead anyway?"
- A strenght 18-00 Fighter after an encounter with a strength draining monster: "Iīm too weak do do anything. Iīm totally useless!" (strength was down to 17!)
- "I'm the MAGE! I don't go first!"
- Suggestions for a name of the group to be put onto a royal Charter:
"BLAST Action Heroes"
"Oh god, here they come!"
"The Debate Club" (This particular group has been known to discuss the question of how best to kill a single orc sentry for just about 45 minutes!)
- "If I am a falcon, the dragon is less likely to attack me than if I am an invisible falcon!"
(A wizard while deciding which spells to use on a reconnaissance mission)
- "12 is good, 12 is super, 12 is bad, 12 is either very good or very bad!"
(Player after rolling dice and while looking up his skill)
- A priest binds a wound, sucessfully healing a few hit points and thus the wound in the process.
Patient:"Hey, there is no more scratch to be seen!"
Comarade (a Kender):"Well, no wonder, there is a bandage wrapped around it!"
- A Priest of a deity of luck:"Rolling dice is the only truly objective method to make a decision!"
- Hiding below a blanked is a "Non-Detection-Spell" for the poor!
If you have any good famous last words or interesting quotes yourselves,
them to me, so that I can include them on this list.
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