Azala pressed a button on his desk and the floor promptly disappeared from below Crono and the gang.
When they had recovered from their fall, Crono, Frog, Lucca, Ayla, and Magus found themselves in a room closed off by a gate. The gate slowly lifted, revealing a giant furry creature with an army of cats dressed in tuxedos.
"What abomination is this?" Frog gasped.
Azala laughed. "Behold, my latest creation, the Furby! Tremble in fear as it utters gibberish and acts adorable!" he cried.
In response, the Furby opened it's giant beak and spoke something so cuddly it could not be put into writing.
All five of our heroes clasped their ears in pain and collapsed from the horrible sound.
"We must...destroy this!" Lucca said, fighting to get the words out. She pulled out her box of Chrono Trigger Cereal and a carton of milk. Immediately, the cats threw themselves upon Lucca and began drinking up the milk.
"NO!! That cereal was our only hope!" Lucca cried.
Azala gave a hearty laugh. "Fools! Did you really think you could turn my own product against me? Now prepare to die!"
"We fight now!" Ayla said, struggling to her feet. "Crono, Froggy, together we fight!"
"Yes, we must!" Frog said in agreement, retreating to a safe corner of the room.
"We must be brave!" Crono added, curling himself into a protective ball.
The giant furry horror loomed above them and prepared to release another fearsome vocal attack. Just as things looked the bleakest, a happy squeal came from above.
"Oh! How furry!" Marle screeched, jumping down and landing on the Furby's head. She began hugging bits of its fur and cooing with joy.
The Furby cooed in retaliation, but it was drowned out by Marle's screams of delight. A torrent of cutesy words poured from Marle's mouth, vastly overpowering the Furby's own cuteness.
The other party members suffered greatly, but at last the terrible Furby blew a fuse and died from cuddle overdose. Marle was left squeezing a bundle of fur. With its leader defeated, the army of cats retreated into a corner to nap.
Crono and the others slowly regained their hearing.
"Forsooth Marle's voice is the most fearsome weapon I have ever seen," Frog said in awe.
Lucca shook her head to get rid of the ringing in her ears. "Who would have thought that Marle would actually be of use," she said.
Crono uncurled himself and cried, "yes! Another brilliant triumph by Crono and his party!"
"Curses," Azala hissed. "It seems the Furby wasn't as perfect as I thought. Good thing I have more things planned for you. Will you agree to promote my products or shall I make you suffer some more?"
Shivering at the thought of facing another cuddly toy, Crono quickly answered, "we agree to your proposal. We'll agree to any of your terms, just no more of what we went through, please!"
"Yes," Frog added. "I beseech thee, no more of these monstrosities!"
"No, you two cannot agree to this!" Lucca cried. "Will you be able to hold your head up high if you give in to his demands? When you've already saved the world from total destruction, how can you be afraid of a giant furry toy?"
"Very well," Azala fumed, "you had your chance."
"What?! Nay! The girl is mad, she does not know what she means," Frog said.
"Magus, listen!" Azala ordered. "Schala is hiding inside one of your fellow party members."
Magus's eyes glazed over. He turned towards Crono.
"I wish I had gagged Lucca," Crono said.
Magus slowly walked up to Crono and whipped out his scythe from nowhere. "Schala...Schala..." Magus chanted in time to his stabs at Crono. Magus actually had a pretty good grasp of rhythm.
Not wanting to be Magus's next victim, Frog dug himself into the furry mass of cats already napping there and stuffed two cats into his nonexistent ears to shut out the chanting.
Azala laughed cruelly from his desk above the doomed party. "This is your punishment for refusing to join my evil Malt Dizzy empire! Now I shall destroy your heroic coolness forever by making you die a most unstylish death -- death while doing the Twist! MWA HA HA HA!"
So saying, Azala threw a record player into the pit. Scratchy Twist music began to play.
"Magus's chanting will make your minds blank and vulnerable to this evil music. Succumb to the music of the Twist!" Azala exclaimed triumphantly.
Try what they could, Lucca and Marle were unable to block out Magus's terrifying chanting of his sister's name (they couldn't stuff cats into their small ears). Though they had no wish to succumb to an uncool death, they could do nothing but the Twist.
"Somebody do something!" Crono screamed. He took out his sword, but his fighting edge was so dulled by Magus's hypnotic chanting, it was all he could do to avoid impaling himself on his own weapon. "PEOPLE! I'm gonna die here!" He cried again as he twisted to dodge Magus's blade. It was the first time Crono noticed that he was great at doing the Twist.
"Ayla strong, me save Crono!" Ayla yelled, dashing towards Magus. However, her mind was weak and simple, and she quickly succumbed to Magus's chanting. She stopped before jumping at Magus, and began to also do the Twist.
Frog, his non-ears stuffed with cats, was unable to hear Azala's most vile scheme or Magus's most vacant chanting. He was only aware that he was no longer part of a cool team. He was part of a team that was doing an outdated dance.
"This cannot be," Frog murmured to himself. "They have lost their coolness...'tis a fate I would not wish on my most hated enemy." Frog thought that somehow this sad state of affairs was due to Magus's chanting.
Frog leaped between Magus and Crono and dropped to his knees. Magus stopped in mid-slice to look at Frog, his mouth never ceasing to chant.
"I beseech thee," Frog said with tears in his eyes, "spare our coolness. Take our lives, if thou doth wish it, but end this inhumane torture! No more! No more!"
Magus glanced at Frog. Half expecting to simply have his head sliced off, Frog was surprised to see Magus's mouth stop moving. Indeed, some life returned to Magus's eyes. Magus shoved his scythe back into his invisible bag and tears welled up in his eyes.
"Is it possible my words have moved thee?" Frog asked, slowly getting to his feet.
Magus slowly stretched out his hand to Frog's head.
"Alfador..." Magus sobbed quietly, removing the unnatural tuxedo from his purple cat. "Oh, Alfador...Schala is gone...Schala is gone...you're the only family I have left. Alfador...don't leave me again...I have no one else, no one else to comfort me...oh...Schala is gone, Alfador..."
Without Magus's chanting, the evil music slowly lost its effect. Lucca, Marle, Ayla, and Crono regained their original level of coolness and took turns destroying the record player.
"NO!!!" Azala cried in frustration.
Crono turned to Frog. "My cat!" Crono exclaimed, yanking it from what Frog called his left ear. He hurriedly freed it from the confines of its tuxedo.
"Frog, what did you do to Magus?" Lucca asked, staring at Magus, who had stopped sobbing and was now cradling his abnormally-coloured cat.
"I do not know," Frog answered.
"Allow me," Magus said. Everyone was shocked to hear such natural speech flow from his mouth. "The loss of my sister in my childhood had left me psychologically scarred and emotionally crippled. What I really needed was someone who had known me since childhood who could share my grief with me. I needed to know that I wasn't alone in my pain. I needed someone who could release my pent up sorrow. My cat was the one who freed me from the past and gave me hope for the future."
"I see," Crono lied.
"My friend Frog," Magus said, "I know I have wronged you in the past. Yet today you have been my saviour. Let me remove my curse from you. That shall be my thanks."
So saying, Magus gave a stylish sweep of his arms. Frog was immediately bathed in a pool of glorious light. All in the room had to shield their eyes from the brightness emanating from Frog. Crono was slightly embarassed how very cliched this was.
When the light finally disappeared, Lucca saw the new improved Frog and gasped in wonder.
"Frog, y-you...you..." Lucca stuttered.
Ayla and Marle simply stared in wordless surprise.
"You haven't changed one bit," Crono observed.
Week #20
Frog snatched a stylish pair of sunglasses out of thin air and placed them over his eyes before giving Crono a cool smile.
"Froggy not same..." Ayla said in what might be a thoughtful voice if it didn't come from Ayla's mouth.
"Of course I'm not the same," Frog said with a smooth Italian accent.
"He...he speaks Modern English!" Marle screeched in shock.
Crono could only gasp in astonishment at the emergence of another challenger to his spotlight. No one thought to wonder why Frog had an Italian accent.
"W-what happened?" Azala cried in confusion. "Why hasn't Magus cut everything up into bite-sized pieces?"
"You sad lizard," Crono replied with all the bravado he could muster, "Magus's appetite for his cat has been satiated and he is no more your sock puppet! Instead, he has un-tied-up Frog from the cutely horrible curse of speaking Olde English!" Crono was still a little too shocked from Frog's new image to deliver coherent lines.
Crono gestured towards Magus. In one hand Magus carried his scythe menacingly, but the effect was ruined by the other hand which was cuddling his cat. "Behold!" Crono exclaimed. "The very feline you sent to trouble us has become our salvation!"
Azala glared at the purple cat in fury. "TRAITOR!" Azala finally managed to screech. "And after I got you that beautiful tailor-made tuxedo!"
Crono took a step forward and shook his head in what he hoped was a wise manner. "Azala, when will you realise the folly of your ways? Will you never learn that the only creature that can appreciate the feel of a well-made tuxedo is a human being? And...since I don't want to see you naked, I guess giant lizards as well."
Lucca, tired of standing silent, spoke up. "Did you never wonder why your malt products never caught on? Malt Dizzy can never be the malt empire you want it to be if you rely on spokes-animals that dress in a way nature abhors. Your mascots, with their keen sense of fashion, were never meant to be!"
Azala dropped to his knees andcould and shook his head in grief. "How could I have been so wrong? So wrong? It took a mentally unstable man with a scythe to make me realise my wrong-ness..."
Lucca's heart was slightly touched at the sight of this broken reptile. She fought back a tear.
Crono, however, was the quintessential hero. "The party is victorious!" he exclaimed, holding his sword high in triumph.