In the beautiful city of Paris, Francois was looking for a job. Sad to say, despite his Ph.D. in loitering, he couldn't find a single position that required his specific skills.
A tall man bumped into him, making Francois drop his styrofoam cup of capuccino.
"Bevare who you bump into on zese unholy nights," the tall man apologised with a strange accent.
Francois thought that the man's weird accent was probably brought on by his immense canine teeth. Before Francois could suggest a good orthodontist to the man, the bus came and Francois had to concentrate on sneaking in the bus without paying.
Francois was slightly puzzled when he got home. Someone had decorated his porch with cloves of garlic.
"Oh well," he said to himself, "at least now I'll have something for supper." He was already thinking of delicious garlic soup and fried garlic and sauteed garlic and...
"You idiot!" someone yelled from within the house. "Don't take those off! You want to have your blood sucked?"
Francois shrugged and replaced the garlic. This happened every time his grandma came to visit. He wished he had enough money to send the kind old lady off to the cheapest senior's home on the other side of France. He also wished he had never given her his extra set of keys.
Francois entered the house and caught his grandma in a fierce hug. Much to his dismay, he wasn't strong enough to make her lose consciousness. "Grandma! How kind of you to visit," Francois said, stuffing his grandma into her coat and shoes. "I've missed you so much," he babbled on as he kicked her out the door.
Francois had hardly nailed twenty planks to the front door when it fell on him.
"Grug," Francois observed from beneath the door.
"Your grandson is most unkind," said a voice with a weird accent. "His soul must be uneasy."
"I hardly think you should talk considering that you killed your father twice," said a voice that sounded very much like Francois's grandma.
"Only twice, I vas sure it vas more zan zat. But anyhow, vhere is your grandson?" said the person with the weird accent while walking up and down the fallen door. "Come out! I need your help to slay my father!" The weird-accented person demanded while stomping very heavily on the door. "I can not believe zat he is not eagerly vaiting for his chance to kill my father!" The man continued, emphasising his words with fierce pounds on the door.
After about twenty minutes of crushing Francois, the two people finally left. Francois was so shocked by all he had heard that it was all he could do to fall unconscious.
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