Notations on Evolutionary Processes
The creation of the sub-brain has created several new difficulties; luckily none of them are terribly unmanageable. I had not anticipated that it would have command of some of my natural abilities, and in fact it seems to have made a very intuitive connection to my id.The project of creating a sub-brain was the result of much research into methods of ensuring my survival. The reasons are as follows:
The process of creating the sub-brain was difficult and time-consuming, but in the end I was more than successful. Unfortunately there have been a number of odd side effects, as I mentioned earlier.
- Creation of a sub-brain allows for some protection, should my higher cerebral functions be incapacitated. The sub-brain can then take control and remove my body to a place of safety. Presumably, my natural healing abilities would then restore me, if that proves possible.
- A sub-brain allows me to work on more radical shape-shifting without altering my brain. I fear that radical shapechanging would involve reshaping the skull, and thus the brain, and I fear that any accident in this regard could have disastrous effects on my psyche. Thus, I create a sub-brain to act as the brain of radically non-human forms, while my real mind, skull, face and all, will remain pocketed somewhere else inside the body.
- Possession of a sub-brain allows external analysis of the id, and of my intuitive self, from which my teachings have long distanced me. By working to understand the sub-brain, I can perhaps get a better understanding of how my subconscious desires affect my thought.
I communicate with the sub-brain mentally, and in many ways I feel as if I were communicating with an extremely intelligent animal. It possesses a great capacity for amoral viciousness (catlike almost), but at the same time seems almost childlike in its affectionate response to the people I like. It classified people on the basis of my emotions towards them, labeling them good friend, friend, stranger, weak enemy, or strong enemy. Its reaction to weak enemies is almost always violent, and I suspect that it would simply flee when confronted with a strong enemy. Out of curiosity, I chose to let the sub-brain take control one day when I was away from the library, and I was much surprised/horrified by the results. Basically, the sub-brain has an intuitive sense of my abilities and created a form to suit its nature, that of a predator. Looking at this objectively I realize that much of the form was taken from my perceptions of what would make an effective predator, what would make a beast ultimately strong and terrible. I am calling the beast Byakhee, a reference to the winged demons of the King in Yellow, though this creature is not winged.
Byakhee is vaguely humanoid, with two legs, a head and torso, but from there it has several strange adaptations. The creature possesses two left arms, of standard size, but ending in clawed hands. The right arm is somewhat larger, perhaps to balance out the weight of the two left arms, and is bizarrely structured. The bones in the arm are very similar to that of a snake, which enables the arm to bend at seemingly impossible angles, and furthermore, the strange structure enables the arm to stretch up to 1 1/2 times its normal length, a truly grotesque sight. Even worse, the right hand possesses some kind of a retractable bone spike in the palm, that can stab anything grasped by the Byakhee. I have yet to see it inject any kind of poison from this spike, but I suspect it is only a matter of time before the sub-brain taps into that area of my knowledge.
The legs are somewhat shorter than my own, and powerfully muscled, with broader, longer feet which are also clawed. I suspect that it could run quite well, judging from the muscle structure in its legs.
The head of the creature is very strange. It has no nose, and its eyes are narrow slits with solid black orbs. Its mouth is lipless and forms a perfect line across the face that extends much further than a human mouth. The lower jaw extends much further than the upper, and in fact the whole face seems to be at a slant. When the lips pull away and the mouth opens, it seems to be a gaping, toothless hole in the creatures face, but most startling is its tongue, which is extremely long and prehensile, featuring a large, hollow, bone spike at its tip, through which it can drain the life fluids of another creature and thus obtain nourishment. On one occasion I've seen it expel digestive fluids through the tongue spike, but this does little damage other than the stench.
When I first felt the change I was startled to note that I could still see, though from a slightly skewed angle. I soon realized that my face and skull had been preserved, and now rested in the center of the creatures abdomen. I'm rather glad I wasn't able to see what that must have looked like. When danger surfaced, I suddenly found myself in darkness, inside the creature. It has created what must seem like a giant mouth in the center of the chest, which can close at will, pulling me in and protecting my face and brain behind a thick layer of flesh and striated muscle tissue. Needless to say I found this whole thing disturbing.
The flesh of the creature is a strange mottled grey, with a pattern that moves and slides across its tough, thick skin. The effect is very disconcerting on humans, and makes the creature difficult to focus upon. Its tongue is a dark yellow, as are its claws. It tends to stoop, making it stand at around six feet tall. It also possesses spines on its back, running down the length of the spinal column, and two small eyes on its back, which don't really look like eyes at all. I should also say that the creature appears, thankfully, sexless.
The worst revelation of the whole thing is that the creature can use my shapeshifting abilities to deform others, an ability I have never attempted. To say the least I am disgusted by what it can do. I note, however, that when it forces changes upon others, it does so by making some part of their body similar to its own, a frightening prospect.
One thing is fortunate out of all of this: that the sub-brain cannot take control of my body except under very dire circumstances. In a battle of wills, it cannot compete with me, not even when I am unconscious. Only when I am extremely mentally fatigued, or in a great deal of pain can it even attempt to take control. I can surrender control at will, and take back control at will; it cannot resist my wishes in this anymore than a pet cat can take control of its owner. The result of this experiment disturbs me, and yet I am reluctant to destroy the sub-brain, as it is a part of me, and could be very useful in the future. The reasons for evolving a sub-brain still stand; if it has fulfilled those goals, it has done so in a bizarre fashion, but perhaps I can alter that in time. For now, I will leave things as they are. I just wish mother were here to explain some of this to me.