The Baseball Drinking Game

Baseball!

Batting Rules

Take a drink...
For each base the batter gets
For each Run Batted In
For each slide
For each time the batter hits a foul ball more than twice
For each error
And two for...
Each homerun (plus one for every RBI etc.)
Each ground-rule double
Additional Rules:
Drink whenever a mascot is on camera
If the benches clear, you better not be conscious when the dust settles
If you're like me, and statistically, you're not but nevermind, you like baseball, and you like watching baseball, but the damn games can be a bit on the "oh-my-god-it's-not-even-the-seventh-inning-yet" side. Well, here's a little solution, for the rest of us. It's long been something of a neccesity to drink your way through a major league game, but now you can do so in a more sporting fasion, with the Baseball Drinking Game.

There are a few different ways to play the game. If you live in New York or Atlanta, you'll probably want to apply the rules below to the home team, as your teams all completely kick ass. This will add a little celebratory punctuation to every RBI, stolen base, steroid-fueled home run, etc. that your team inflicts upon their opponents. However, if you live in Minnesota (and believe me, I remember the days when your team kicked ass), you're probably going to want to apply these rules to the visiting team. I love the Twins, but science has shown conclusively that only a large amount of drinking can get a Twins fan through another depressing defeat. By applying the rules to the other team, you get numerous chances to drown your sorrow and shame as you watch a former major league dynasty play like the fucking Keystone Cops... again.
Now, if you live somewhere like Wyoming, and statistically, you don't but nevermind, and you don't have a baseball team, then you might as well just go to town and apply all of the rules to both teams. It's not like you've got a lot to live for anyway.
Baseball!

Fielding Rules

Take a drink...
For each out
For each ball thrown in an intentional walk
For each time an outfielder "hits the cut-off man"
Take two drinks for each double play (plus one for each out)
Take three drinks for each tiple play (plus one for each out)
Additional Rules:
Drink whenever a manager starts yelling at someone
Drink whenever you see a really retarded show of team pride from a fan
Note- these rules can be used when you actually play baseball, but watch your damn head.