Man Sues Entire English-Speaking World
Boulder, CO-
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Local man, Thomas Edison, has filled what is considered the first "reverse class-action" lawsuit, where an individual sues a large group of strangers for damages. Said Edison's attorney, who is himself named in the suit, "My client has suffered needless humiliation and an unlimited amount of emotional distress, resulting from a string of hostile workplaces, as well as a wide array of bad one liners and snickers from virtually every English- |
Edison claims he is asked if he is related to "You know... the science guy" literally dozens of times a day, in addition to people who force him to provide ID to ensure he isn't using a false name.
"No one should have to suffer the way I have," said Edison.
Edison, who's been unemployed and collecting worker's compensation since being diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome three years ago, says he finally made up his mind to sue after one of many afternoons spent watching "Judge Judy" and "Divorce Court".
"It just hit me," he said. "My problems are worse than a lot of these people's. Maybe it's time to collect my share."
Though Edison stresses that even the $578 million he's asking won't mend the emotional wounds he's endured.
"The money will be nice, but I'd trade it all in for a chance to just live a normal life," he said. "You know, in a lot of ways, changing my name to Thomas Edison was the worst idea I ever had."