Perfect Opportunity to Trash Starbucks Marred By Peace Protest
Denver, CO
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A golden opportunity to "really fuck some shit up at Starbucks" was missed yesterday when a protest turned out to be anti-war. "I've been coming to these things since I saw Seattle [November, 1999] on the news," said skateboard and destruction enthusiast Zach "Black" McIntyre. "Usually I show up a few |
McIntyre and his friends estimate they average six protests a year, ranging in theme from anti-World Bank/I.M.F. rallies to Old Navy swetshop protests to a post-Superbowl Denver Broncos riot. "But this one was gay as hell," McIntyre complained.
"I showed up with a backpack full of empty bottles from a rager we had a couple weeks ago, and then when I got there it was all just people holding hands and singing and shit."
Despite McIntyre's best efforts, the peace protest remained peacful and did not errupt into violence and mayhem.
"I climbed up on this street signal and I was like 'Let's fuck some shit up!', then I was like, 'Fuck all these pigs!', and then I took off my shirt and was like, 'Who wants to see me jump off of here?', but not only did the crowd not get into it, the cops didn't even try and make me come down."
McIntyre fears for the future of political activism in the face of the "lame-ass, gaywad crowd" at his most recent protest.
"If we don't keep on fucking up chain coffee stores, or at least public benches and garbage cans, how is our voice ever going to get heard?"