From the governments top secret 'Rick James Autopsy' video

This is a video still from the Fox special, Rick James Celebrity Autopsy. Here we see that Rick James is actually a zombie, which isn't all that surprising as in 1987 he spent more money than you'll ever earn in your life on heroin. Now he walks the earth only to feast on living brains and be the answer to Rock and Roll Jeopardy questions in the "Has-been" catergory.
 This is what rock stars do: they get everything they want and then either bitch about it or blame it for ruining their lives. I'm real fucking sorry you spent all the money I gave you on heroin. You poor bastard! No... I mean, you fucking stupid bastard! Who could do such a thing? Get everything they want, then cry about it like Sally Struthers when she dropped her twinky and a starving African girl snatched it up. Zombies- zombies could do such a thing.
They're softening us up. They're breaking down our logic. They're trying to confuse us, making us more susceptible to their hideous brain eating plots. They want us to believe that the time the guy from Creed lost all his band's money in a pyramid scheme (HE LOST ALL HIS MONEY IN A PYRAMID SCHEME!!! MY GRANDMA NEVER LOST ALL HER DAMN MONEY IN A PYRAMID SCHEME!!!) it was a very serious and sad event that he learned to cope with through his music. Let me point out- it was not a serious or sad event- if a fucking moron wants to give all his money to crooks, go ahead and let him. I'm too busy trying to keep the cork on his fork to care. And he didn't cope with the loss through his music, he coped with the loss through becoming amazingly rich. The only hardship he overcame was his incredible stupidity, and I'm not so sure he should be getting cheered on for that. It's not like he isn't still a moron, he's just a rich moron, and probably also a zombie mutant.
My point is, we've got to fight back. We can't let the zombies run the show, and we can't let morons or bedwetting crybabies get rich. My solution- steal music. Steal like a dirty son of a bitch. Remember- the life you save might be Rick Jame's.
Jim Morrison is dead, and I think that's funny. There's no Behind the Music on the Doors. Instead there's a "Legends." That's how important dead hippies are to the people at VH1. Jim Morrison wasn't a stupid ass drunk with a heroin problem and a severe tumor on the part of your brain that comes up with non-retarded sounding things to say, according to VH1, he's a "legend." Of course, if VH1 knew anything, they wouldn't have allowed me to find this shocking image proving that Jim Morrison is a zombie!
(NOTE: This is easily the worst cut and paste job I've ever done. Some people suspect that it's because when I originally built this page I had just drank six beers, and by the time I was done I'd drunk nine. Well, notice that I didn't fix the picture in this update. That's because Jim Morrison's dead hippie ass just isn't worth the five minutes.)
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