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   Bonus Rule: If you've decided that there really isn't any point to going through life with a functioning liver, if you've decided that the only good kidney is a dead kidney, then you can play with this rule- Any time anyone says "Robert Paulson" (the name of Meatloaf's bitch-titted character), take a drink. I hope for your sake that the white light you see is above you is over an operating table and not the doorway to hell.
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Fight Club was a pretty awesome movie, even if dumbasses took it too seriously. Plus it had a Pixies song in it, and the Pixies make everything better. I do think it could have done with a little less retarted camera shit, and a little more punching Jordan Cattelano in the face, but never-the-less it did combine horrendously gruesome head-smashing with interesting "thriller movie"-type plot twists better than probably any movie ever. It stars Brad Pitt, and it always seems like when Brad Pitt is in a movie that doesn't suck, it's probably because the studio said, "Okay, we'll make your little movie, but only if Brad Pitt will agree to star in it." That's fine. I don't have anything against Brad Pitt, except that you have to check your seat in the theater before you sit down, to make sure that some fourteen year old tween chick wearing a two inch vinyle skirt didn't make it all wet during the last showing. The film also features Meatloaf wearing some enormous tits. I think that the Movie Theater Seat-Cleaner Union probably lobbied to get him in the film to hopefully reverse the Brad Pitt Effect. In other tit related notes, the movie features some actual naked woman tits, which is something that's been lacking in Hollywood movies lately. I mean, Thomas Edison went to all the trouble of inventing tits so he'd have something to take pictures of with his "moving camera", and these arrogant Hollywood producers hardly even use them anymore. Who the hell do they think they are? Do they really think they're smarter than Thomas Alva Edison, the founder of our fucking country? Jesus. (The following rant is brought to you by: Tim's Childish Inability to Live Among the Anarchy Hippies of Boulder, CO, without Being a Grumpy Old Man All the Damn Time, Inc., and Viewers Like You. -BBB Maru) The movie has one major problem, and that's the way morons seem to use it as a validation for doing whatever moronic thing they want, like say, smashing up a McDonald's in France (way to change the world on that one, guys), and then crying when someone says "Hey, you dumb fucking moron, you can't do that!" No one in Fight Club suggested that retards should run free, using they're half assed 7th grade philosophy to excuse the stupid shit they do. And even if that was the explicit point of the movie, you still couldn't do it. In the movie, you have to be a big, burly badass to before you can be an anarchist, cause otherwise you'd probably get killed by roaming pirates pretty fucking quick, fuckhead, and even if you are a badass it's still a pretty dumb idea. If you don't like corporate art (and who does?), Fight Club is not your free vandalism pass, it's just a fucking movie, so stop being such a pretentious sheep, and lighten the fuck up. Get a real fucking problem. (The editors of the Foxy Mouse would like it to be known that Tim Weinmann is a self agrandizing crybaby, and his cheap soapbox babbling should not be cause for alarm.) So that's pretty much it for Fight Club. It's a good movie, as you probably know, so check it out and shit. Or don't. Whatever you'd like to do. I can't make all of your decisions for you, you know. Sooner of later you're going to have to grow up and become your own person, instead of just leaching off your mother and me forever.  Click here to go back to the Film and TV page.  Click here to see Brad Pitt and Edward Norton on the 21st Century Dirty Dozen Page |