Here are the official Goonies Drinking Game rules of Tim's Homepage:
The Goonies, though clever enough to find hidden treasure that even seasoned explorers couldn't locate, tend to talk about as well as advanced stage syphilitics having a conversation with some cake. Every time a Goonie, after saying something really stupid and being corrected, says, "That's what I said!", take a drink.
It amazes me that Pepsi lost the Cola Wars, considering they had Goonies in their corner. Drink each time you see a product placement.
I always give points for retarded physics. Any time a silly machine is in operation, knocking eggs out of chickens or dropping boulders from the ceiling, take a drink. (for Data machines, see below)
Whenever anyone says, "One-Eyed Willy", take a drink. Because that's just such a great joke.
Mikey Rules:
Whenever Mikey delivers a way-dramatic line that makes you want to laugh and cry and drink at the same time, do all three of those things. Also, if you spot the moment where Sean Austin calls the Brand character by the actor's real name, "Josh", take a drink as you pat yourself on the back.
Whenever "limp lungs" Mikey uses his inhaler, inhale a big drink.
Chunk Rule:
When Chunk does something fat, clumsy, or Jewish, have a little celebratory drink for diversity.
Mouth Rule:
When Mouth makes a joke, if you can possibly find a way to contain your laughter, take a drink at his expense.
Data Rule:
When Data busts out one of his inventions, take a drink after you shout the invention's name.
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The Happy Kitty Goonies drinking game is the work of Holly Peterson (artist of the pencil drawing used to make the above graphic), who seems to want to poison America's youth not only with her devilish charms, but with alcohol as well. This game requires a whole lot of drinking. Remember that disclaimer from the front of the Movies Page? That's totally in effect here.
Note- this game includes all the rules from the first game (and they are all one drink rules unless noted otherwise), with this minor adjustment- anytime anyone makes a joke (not just Mouth), take a drink.
One drink rules:
Anytime anyone says Goonies.
Anytime Girl #1 and/or Girl #2 are acting "girly".
Anytime anyone says "booby trap", or "booty trap". Also, yell whichever one they said.
Anytime anyone says "Chester Copper Pot".
Anytime a gun is fired.
Two drink rules:
When Sloth says, "Baby Ruth".
Whenever something is "lost"-- ie. Girl #2 has glasses at first, Brand has a sweet headband in the beginning,etc.
When Mikey says "Goonies never say die".
When Brand is called by his actual name ("Josh").
When Sloth rips open his shirt to reveal... SuperSloth!
So there you have it... two complete drinking games to enhance your ability to enjoy Goonies and your ability to drive your car into a tree. Give 'em hell soldier!
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