ROCKY III
The ROCKY III Drinking Game

General "Rocky" Movie Rules:
  • As always, anytime anyone playing thinks that a character says something badass, everyone playing should drink.
  • Anytime anyone is punching in slow motion, take a drink.
  • At the beginning and end of training scenes, take a drink, plus one extra drink if the training involves Rocky running up the big steps.
  • Don't let Pauly drink alone! Take a drink each time he is drinking.
  • The only way to make Rocky's jokes seem funny is to drink each time he tells one.
    Heavyweight Alcoholic Rule- Everytime the "Theme from Rocky" is played, drink.
    Heavyweight Alcoholic Rule- (for use when watching multiple movies in a row) Rocky has pets in some movies, but not in others. Also, he shouldn't fight in "Rocky II" because of his bad eye, but it's no big deal after that. His son's god damn name changes between the fourth and fifth movies. Anytime you notice a continuity error or anything weird like that, take a drink.
    Special Rules for "Rocky III"
  • Anytime they play or someone says, "Eye of the Tiger" (you'll swear Apollo is trying to kill you), take a drink.
  • Anytime Pauly says, "I don't sweat you!", take a drink.
  • Anytime Mr. T says "Fool", take a drink. (This drink is in addition to any drinks you might have to take for Mr. T saying something badass. Don't die.)
  • For every homoerotic thing that happens in this movie, take a drink.
    Some examples of homoerotic things you should drink for in "Rocky III"-
    The little midriff baring tank-tops Rocky and Apollo wear.
    The "frolicking in the surf" scene.
    Rocky kissing every man in sight.
    		• The reason “Rocky III” is the best of the sequels is the fact that it’s just all-out nuttsiness. The movie is all over the place. It’s like Stallone realized that there was just no way the second remake of a movie was going to get nominated for any Oscars, so why not have Rocky fight Hulk Hogan? It’s like he figured “fuck it, let’s just make some money,” and took out what tiny amount of pretense existed in the first two movies, and replaced it with HEART RACING, PULSE POUNDING, (and often totally bizarre) NON-STOP ACTION! The movie is so super-Hollywood it actually ends up being like this really absurd, surreal version of a “Rocky” movie. Micky dies from getting pushed, Rocky trains in some sort of freaky carnival, he and Apollo share about the gayest moment ever filmed up to that time (the scene on the beach where they prance around like a couple of school girls or Frenchmen in the surf- I keep expecting them to suddenly share this look, and then both get really quiet and have this long awkward pause, and then make up some excuse why they should both get very far away from each other, but not be able to shake the memory of how they felt on that fateful afternoon or some shit), and most importantly, the enemy is Mr. T.
    It’s like someone at Rocky Movies Inc. just said one day, “you know, the first two “Rockies” were good, but this one should be less of a ‘boxer overcomes the odds’ kind of movie, and more of a ‘terrifying descent into the dark heart of madness’ kind of movie.” If they tossed some midgets into this movie (and only some sort of budget restraints or tiny-little-people labor laws could have prevented it) it would have been “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”; if Rocky got his face burned off, it would have been “Darkman”, and if Warren Beatty had been in it, it would have been some kind of TERRIFYING DESCENT INTO THE DARK HEART OF MADNESS featuring a tap dancing, black-faced Warren Beatty.
    Of course, it’s also the best “Rocky” sequel because it’s the only one to introduce the world to both the acting talents of Mr. T, and the enormous badassedness of Mr. T. The Clubber Lang training scenes are about the most hardcore thing filmed this side of a snuff movie. It’s a biblical, Pope-sanctioned fact that if Mr. T had been wearing his chains during the training sequence, god (the world’s #1 source for invisible friendship) would have declared it too totally badass to be filmed and shown to mortals, and all of the cameras, sound equipment, and gaffers would have burst into flames during shooting. Only god (he’s the world’s #1 source for invisible friendship, you know) is a tough enough fool to pity Mr. T.




















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