Crankin out sea men, takin my time! Not much else new lately, you see that Jericho ended, they called it the series finale. WTJ (What the Jericho!!!) The last episode was kind of stupid, kind of like a show that the writers meant to air over the course of at least a season that had to be crammed into 7 episodes. That show climaxed faster than me! (said in Jewish comedian voice, think Mel Brooks, also, imagine like shrugging, and pants falling down) Anyhoot, I got to explain what post apocalyptic fiction is a little bit today during an interview. What elsa?

A zombie television series? Maybe, somebody has been posting a link to a zombie television series on the imdb message boards, if it's true that could be really cool. It's called lifeless, just google that or something, I'm too lazy to pal (provide a link) Would you pal, pal? (would you provide a link, pal?) Fine, since you asked nicely. Aha, apparently I'm like nearly a year behind on this show. Alas, check it out McFuckers. Speaking of Mc, 6 nuggets fo' a dolla? Youze gots to be shittin me! Ima orda like 66 nuggets! (that would cost $11 + tax) Imagine eating 66 nuggets, drinking a chocolate shake, and that's it, but you would explode.

800 dogs found in a trailer?!!?! What the heck? I have to admit I thought the headline was pretty funny, how do you fit 800 dogs into a trailer? Can you imagine walking into a trailer and there's 800 dogs in it, they would just like swarm you and you would drown in the dogs, and you would be like ahhhhhhhh dogs everywhere i hope they don't got fleas, and i hope they don't do poops and peeps on me while i'm in here, and can you imagine taking them all for a walk at once? WOuldn't work. TOo many dogs, too little time.

Spring Break is upon me, and for spring break I'm going to...do school work, maybe volunteer to help people in danger of losing housing, hooray! A new chamber of the Temple!!! WHat is it?!! what waits for me on the other side of the door that is a hyperlink?!?! Oh, it's just old updates, so basically you're taking old updates, repackaging them and kind of trying to pass them off as new? That doesn't pass the bullshit test for one second mister. So yeah, that's how it goes. Anyway, Temple is over 7 yrs old, a lot has changed in the slightly more than 7 yrs that it has been up and running. I grew pubes! I got my first boner. I smoked my first cigarette, AND I COUGHED AND THREW UP AND NEVER TOUCHED ANOTHER!!! THE TRUTH! I learned how to find p.orn on the internet. And many other things have changed for me, but obviously not so much that I am not too busy to still occasionally update this website, and not so much that I can afford to get a real site and not continue to use geocities. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, boy.

THen Get on with it motha...
;-) Chi-ka-Chi-ka! Yes, so anyway, temple is >7 yrs old, and like I say on the archive page (check it out, brand new!) that is old enough to have a wife and kids (or husband and kids) in some cultures! That is crazy!! Remember Roundhouse, that show on SNICK, the saturday night block of somewhat edgy programming aimed at, im thinking preteens here, but not entirely sure who it was aimed at, well anyway Roundhouse (I believe it was THE roundhouse, C) was like sketch comedy that didn't really have sets I don't think, I think it was just on the open floor of some warehouse type place. And a guy drove around on an E-Z chair yapping about something, Adults right!!!! Always yappin bout somethin!!! ANyway, one time they had a skit where it was a kids barmitzvah and they did a dance and it was like for my barmitzvah i got SEX! maybe it was hanukkah? Anyway, I was like 9 then and I was like damn, do Jewish kids really get sex as a gift for (whichever event was being sung about?) Cut me some slack, I was 9, the very word sex excited me back then (who are you kidding, it still does, C) I remember I saw the commercial for Indecent Proposal and heard the word sex and was like yeah I want to see that! and my cousin was like you just want to see it bc you heard the word sex in the commercial, and I was like damn this muthafucka just read me like a book. True story. So what does any of this have to do with (BOOM BOOM DONG DONG DONG!) CURRENT EVENTS!!! Yes, so the governor (the Temple is based in NY) got caught banging hookers, and for some reason this is a huge event, people keep talking about it at school, I didn't really think anything of it, I mean politicians are always fuckin somebody aren't they!?!?! (Imagine I yelled that from a motorized E-Z chair) Now I'm gonna get a little personal, I don't really see the problem with prostitution, and I realize there's a lot of exploitation there and all that, but a person should be able to charge another to fuck them if they want to, so imagine it was legal and then different bordellos pop up, and one would be like the Walmart of bordellos, another would be the target, then you'd have the flea market of bordellos too, and (going back earlier!) a boy's dad takes him to one of them for a gift like those guys on roundhouse were dancing about, now listen here son, we're going to the target of bordellos, but that's only because this is a special occasion, normally you're gonna be going to the walmart of bordellos. Well that kind of fell flat didn't it? Seemed good too, oh well.

So yeah, now is probably a pretty sweet time to be a tween, there's like entire channels devoted to them, we had Snick, probably other stuff, but whatevs.

I am typing this from the library! I'M ON A CELLULAR PHONE! (That 80's show) Remember that 80's show, it was like they weren't even trying with that one, they could have just done like a slide show of things from the 80's that they considered worthy of derision to music from the decade that spawned me. Hardy HAR HAR, the 80's! I was a little kid then, doing little kid things, totally rocking and being cool, not like today, imagine the me from 1989 (5 yrs old) (CAN YOU DO MATH!?! IF you can do MATH, then you can figure out how old I am!) so the me from '89, appears and kicks me in the balls, and we end up melting like in time cop (JCVD) when the bad guy is thrown into himself and, well like I just said, melts. Oops! I just let out a little poopie (poopy?) by unleashing a spoiler on the net! Sorry if you have not yet seen Time Cop and you planned on it, pretty good sex scene as I recall, virtual like, when are we gonna that level of technology up and running? or do we have it and it is too expensive or something? I would probably never leave my house, and spiders would build their webs around me. NASTY! Me don't like spiiiiiders. I killed a silver fish today, those fuckers be nasty, all eating wallpaper and stuff. What's up with that!?>!?! We're eatin here asshole! But yer eatin wallpaper ya goons!

NEXT! Well let's see, what's up with poopie, I prefer the poopy spelling, it's so much prettier looking in text, don't you think? >:O whoa, relax there. Oh yeah, did you know the guy from Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Philly to those of you in the know) was in that 80's show, hamming it up 1980's style...cocaine! New wave! Republicans! Me from the ages of 1 day to...(I'm not gonna tell, use MATH to figure out how old I was!) What else is there to talk about? Islanders were on a 6 game winning streak, and look poised to begin a losing streak again. Some consistency would be nice, guys. Turnin' tricks and suckin' dicks! I'm TALKING ON A CELLULAR PHONE! I'm TYPING ON A MINI-COMPUTER, IT'S CALLED A LAPTOP, AND IT COULD SIT ON MY LAP AND I COULD WRITE THINGS! LAPTOPS: Not your mother's word processor! Remember Surge soda? I used to drink that sometimes, and I would eat a snickers bar with it after going to the movies in like 9th, 10th grade, maybe like the time I saw...I'M TALKING ON A CELLULAR PHONE!...Fight club starring Edward Norton (never trust a man with two first names) and Brad Pitt (Always trust a man who is dreamy) But wait wyatt, what if the man is both dreamy and has two first names? Google that shit for yo self. Ok I should get back to work, I bid you all adieu dieu

And why shouldn't I sit down on the toilet when I piss?!?! It is a restroom isn't it? Maybe I feel like relaxing and sitting down for a minute, is that such a crime!?! Temple proudly supports those men who sit when they piss, for no other reason than they just fucking feel like it. Catch the FEVER! THERE'S THE BOAT, Don't miss, have a seat when you piss! PERCOWWWWW (explosion)

Grumblings in my tummy, grumblings in my colon, grumblings in my peepee, which has become mighty swollen. (Engorged, or swollen? because swollen seems to indicate like sickness, whereas engorged would point more towards virility, ie being a boner)