13 May, 2005

sigh.. today.. started out good. it really did. i was tired b y the end.. but i was ok. n then, i was really frustrated. really. i dont kno y. but i was. and it killed me. i cried.. for jus a bit. i really was hurting.. inside and out. its been a long day. maybe cuz i was tired. my immune system has bin down for a while. at first i thot it was a partial cold or sumthin.. since it was jus the stuffy nose.. but.. i ges i do hav allergies.. i am the oddball in my family.. i swr.. my moms right.. she DID get the wrong baby.. sigh.. and.. on a.. happier? note.. i now.. hav.. noone.. i hav accomplished everythign. who knew i could use a few simple words to keep everyone at a distance.. who knew that no one cared enuf.. who knew that no one thot i cared.. hmm.. i couldve gessed.. i ges i accentuate my heartlessness that way.. on my way home.. i realized one thing that made me sumwhat sad.. nothing really means anything to me anymore.. my family.. my... former? friends.. my own life.. hm.. well.. not that.. any of that really meant all that much to me anyway.. hm.. and yet.. life goes on.. no one on this earth really cares.. never has never will.. ppl say they care.. but if sumone went away n never came bak.. they would still live life the same way.. nuthin would change.. and everytime i say it.. everytime i mention it.. ppl would always try to fight it.. ignore it.. or treat it like insanity speaking.. noone ever takes it seriously.. i resent it.. but i ges that if i care that much about it.. i may hav sum heart left in me after all.. i am human

11 May, 2005

retook quiz frm yest.. deleted other one.. way bored..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

8 May, 2005

You scored as Intrapersonal. You prefer your own inner world, you like to be alone, and you are aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. You learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. People like you include entrepreneurs, philosophers and psychologists. Intrapersonal 79% Logical/Mathematical 50% Musical/Rhythmic 39% Verbal/Linguistic 36% Interpersonal 32% Visual/Spatial 21% Bodily/Kinesthetic 18% The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com

7 May, 2005

i absolutely positively weirded out by this quiz.. mostly cuz its kinda true.. for me.. haha XD kinda.. ok.. to the pnt.. n its funny what kinda questions they ask.. so funny.. its like. what does that hafta do wit anything.. XD ahha.. i even forgot what the quiz was about for a moment..but.. they got me XD

Is it placid darkness or just a quiet calm style that sets you apart?

Virtues: Appreciation for deep thought is important, and no, I don't mean "Deep Thoughts" by good ole Jack Handey, though that must be widely loved. Humor-- light and dark-- is a staple, and absolutely necessary is your art. Literature, music; it's all important to your self expression.

Aspirations: There's a wide range of possibilities for any thoughtful person. Especially common would be artistry; writer, painter, composer; even the comedy field could use some help. If you're interested in politics, maybe a professional cynic would suit. ;) I'm sure you'd like to express your views openly (not limited to politics, but thinking in general) as your views of the human race are vast and intricate. Socrates would be proud.

Quirks: The peppy and preppy, the superficial and the artificial.

Factors: What you need is your downtime; peace and quiet. Relaxing with a good book, listening to some music. Thinking is a big factor, be it sophistic or plainly dark.

Future: As you continue to develop your views, self expression is inevitable. An outlet career aligning with your views would be ideal, and you may even enjoy a family to settle down with. Until then, I'm sure you'll develop your studies and talents to their fullest.

I am absolutely brooding! Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

1 May, 2005

hmm.. well.. its now time.. so far.. only.. 3 ppl kno.. told two ppl.. then mim found out.. hm.. but i dont plan on tellin anyone unless they figure it out or sum crap like that.. or.. if they understood my xanga entry.. hm.. but.. no one cares enough to even read my xanga.. so.. meh.. its the perfect place to keep secrets.. no matter how cryptic they r.. hm.. anyways.. it jus means ill be more isolated then ever.. i mean.. who the hell even hangs out there.. no one.. who would i be near? no one.. hm.. its not really a good place to be.. haha.. im gonna get shot by a crazy dude.. jus watch.. n then im gonna get robbed at least 4 times.. mugged maybe 3 times.. n the traffic.. ugh.. horrible.. haha.. its perfect for ppl who wanna be alone.. n definitely no solicitators.. unless u count prostitutes r sum crap liek that.. but.. theres hoes here too.. so dont matter.. haha.. dude.. if ppl dont understand whats happening after ive sed all this.. retardedness.. anyways.. so far.. i feel like crap.. n broke down about.. 3 times? so.. its all good.. ill get used to not being able to go anywhere.. its not like i go anywhere anyways.. oop.. heres the 4th time.. haha.. sigh.. hav a beautiful and wonderful month folks.. if i cant hav one.. u ppl hafta make up for the lack.. the worlds ugly as it is already.. dont need to be unbearably fugly..

"nvm, these r horrid times... but i wont let it bother me..."