Published!  This is a page dedicated to the fact that I have been published.  It will, I assume, build upon itself.

Started by some friends of mine at my former high school, The Trinity School Review prints works by students, faculty, alumni and parents.  The 2007 spring edition (Vol. 5., Num. 1) included a personal account, adding ten, and a poem, burn: or, inspired by a purchase at mustard seed.

The 2006 spring edition (Vol. 4., Num. 1) included a poem, Absalom, and a short montage of poetry and autobiography entitled Wakes.

The 2004 spring edition (Vol. 2, Num. 2) included a poem, Looking for the Life of the World to Come.

Journey, the annual student literary magazine of Southeast Missouri State University, printed a short essay, Doors, and a short montage of poetry and prose, fiction and autobiography entitled "Vexations, Elations", in the 2003 edition.

The 2003 spring edition (Vol. 1., Num. 2) of The Trinity School Review included a short vignette, stars, and an even shorter personal account, left out.

During my senior year (2000), my high school's yearbook (The Gate) included five of my photographs, loosely post-titled Jesse holds more than his own (#1); a masked Byrne (#2); through the Gate (#3); a Jumbled Mass of Humanity (#4); and pull (#5).

I have written a handful of 'letters to the editor' of the newspaper of my hometown, the South Bend Tribune.  One, I remember was titled "Exercising responsibility."  There were several more, and I will likely put more information if I find them.

A sonnet, Love in Face of Fear, was selected by the International Library of Poetry in November of 1998 [it was The National Library of Poetry at the time] for publication in one of its compilations, The Music of Silence.


-

adding ten

by Daniel Boughton

I was reading some of the source notes for Julius Caesar and noticed that Plutarch mentioned three-and-twenty wounds from the conspirators.  The part I happened to have already chosen for my audition includes the lines, "Never, till Caesar's three-and-thirty wounds / Be well avenged, or till another Caesar / Have added slaughter to the sword of conspirators."  Beyond the gorgeous decadence of the rhythm, Shakespeare (or Octavius) adds a full ten wounds to the dish.

The audition, for Shakespeare Festival of St. Louis, or my experience of it, went well, perhaps better than expected.  The drive down was tame, after threats of winter slickness, and pumped by The Strokes as I was waking up and getting ready, NPR took audio detail on the rest of the weekend, with the exception of the deadlands of mid-Illinois.  The producer indicated respect at my dedication for such a drive, confirmed my experience in outdoor theatre, attended well to my audition and promised to contact me either way.  Callbacks will be in a little over a week.

Since I arrived early, I actually left the audition site before my appointment arrived.  Made good time back up to Chicago, to stay with Lydia & Brian, whose water had been interrupted by construction (or destruction?) workers nearby.  Auditioned for another student film before flying home, this a strange look at homosexuality (as much as I could tell from the "sides", which were paraphrased or actions pulled from the unseen script).  I did all right, but didn't feel as though I presented what the director envisioned.

In St. Louis as I waited, a young student of the conservatory sat on the couch across and snuck a few glances when she thought I wasn't noting -- or knew I was -- then struck up a brief conversation before she left for class and I for the audition.  Beneath her white hat and winter clothes, all I really appreciated of her was a beaming face and glowing eyes, the small curve of a smile.  Silly or not, I hope to see them again.

Copyright ©2005, 2007 Daniel Boughton

 

-

burn: or, inspired by a purchase at mustard seed

by Daniel Boughton

the tell-a-vision
and the noosepaper
are lying to me
and to themselves

I want to be proud of my country
I want to be secure in my rights
I want a president I can trust
and a government I can understand

the tell-a-vision
and the noosepaper
are choking our air
and our perception

I want information I can trust
I want opinions in the open
I want to be secure in my rights
and free in my expression

I want to be proud of my country

Copyright ©2005, 2007 Daniel Boughton

 


-

Absalom     [published version includes an unintended stanza break]

by Daniel Boughton

The thought of you makes me sneeze
I imagine
Something
About you
And the dust of your being sneaks into my nose
And explodes forcefully
Spraying into the air in a glistening cloud

Little wet pockets
Hide in my sinuses
Tickle above my tongue and behind my eyes
Wait to be released
Like static charges of electricity

I imagine
Something
About you
And expect to be shocked into submission
And forced into midnight enjoyment
Weaving into the darkness like the radio
Behind the consciousness of an all-hours diner
Dripping with ideas

But you coat my tongue like whole milk with a squeeze of chocolate
I swim in your possibilities
And fall into your –

I imagine
Something
About you
And you don’t fail me
And you don’t disappoint
Writing in my mind like poets in antiquity

Little wet thoughts
Tickle my reason
Hide from my fears and behind my tongue
Wait to be released
Like songs of obliteration

Copyright ©2006 Daniel Boughton

 

-

Wakes

by Daniel Boughton

            Asleep
I woke up to a phone call with both my arms asleep.  That was awkward, and somewhat alarming.  Circulation is something I'd like to retain for now.


            Revolution
The floor
The floor
The floor is on fire

Beneath my feet
Water is boiling
Through the tile

Stifled
Knives out
And suffocating

Cold winter air
Pockets my heart
Beaten back from insulated cell

Out this window
I see caramel light
And taste subtle freedom-hope

Sleepless
The floor is on fire
There is much darkness


            glow
She positively glowed from his presence, even after that had changed to his absence.  She had internalized the experience and emitted it in the luminescence of her skin and smile.  Her eyes compelled.

But she babbled.


            out of your hair
Sometimes
to just be still
and let someone pick that piece of lint
out of your hair

            On the Experience of Ninety Meteors
I saw ninety meteors
Streak across the sky
In less than an hour
Of cold, cold, cold

Those icy messages
Burned through the atmosphere
Thirty-first, forty-seventh, fifty-second, eightieth
Especially bright


            Shiva
It amazes me that we can grow from such ugly, harmless, precious things to such beautiful, dangerous and expendable beings.  It amazes me, but refuses to surprise me, to realize the ubiquity of great and terrible paradox, present in each and every individual in a multitude of forms.  At times it makes me wonder why we think some things are constant, or why we rage at some injustice but not its fraternal twin, or why we hope and even believe that each of us has even an ounce of tangible efficacy.  It amazes me that I think this a unique observation, that I find it worthy to note and to share.  I rage against and embrace my own methods of destruction, I treasure and hide my rapture sprung from the grasp of other unique, enlightened, twisted, mistaken, infuriating, enchanting creatures.

            The Chair
I woke up upstairs
At 9 o’clock
In a chair I couldn’t remember having sat in
And the fan was making lazy circles

I couldn’t quite remember
Why I was there
Outside Sarah’s door
And I shifted onto the couch


            Ode to Youth: or, Enjoymeant
Yesterday was fulfilling, to the point of exhaustion.  Besides and between working eight hours, I went sledding with Dad and the kids, for three hours.  Before it was over, my body was numb from cold, my clothes were all soaked through, my pants had ripped apart and I was sore everywhere.  It was wonderful.
Last night, after all this, I went to a wedding reception for the mother of one of my classmates.  It was great just to see some of the Trinity friends I haven’t in awhile.  Also, I danced, not for as long as I had sledded, but enough to add to the soreness.  It may take a few days to recover from this much enjoyment.

Copyright ©2002-2005, 2006 Daniel Boughton

 


-

Looking for the Life of the World to Come

by Daniel Boughton

The sparkle in a child's eyes
When she turns to me
And offers her hand
As a sign of peace

Because peace can only come from children
They are our world's future hope
And we must all see that
Life in those little eyes

We must deliver ourselves
Hand over hand
We are looking for the life
Of the world to come about

Resurrection in another world
Carries a current meaninglessness
Here is the world; here is life
Let us begin the connection

Let us begin the perfection

            The example of Bartimaeus
            Saying have pity on me
            And Jesus replies
            Your faith has saved you

            But He heals his eyes

Copyright ©2003, 2004 Daniel Boughton

 


-

Doors     [layout differs from published version - this (although not perfect) is closer to the preferred appearance]

by Daniel Boughton

This is about the relationships between people.

Doors are forever taking on new meanings for me.

A doorway defines a path, and those doors that are open, or unlocked, allow for choices of fate and determination.  I have seen many doors.

A door defines in other ways also.  Like the expression about what happens behind closed doors - but more exquisitely, what happens through open doorways, or behind no doors, or even outdoors for that matter: a door can be a line, and its absence can make many differences.

Back to unlocked doors - finding this information can be the hardest task, requiring close attention and second only to choosing one and only one to open.  I have often wished that unlocked doors would swing open from the wind of my desire - such is vanity.

If it was about doors, or masculinity, it might look like this.

Doors are forever taking on new meanings for me.
A doorway defines a path, and those doors that are
 open, or unlocked, allow for choices of fate and
 determination.  I have seen many doors.
A door defines in other ways also.  Like the
 expression about what happens behind closed doors
 - but more exquisitely, what happens through open
 doorways, or behind no doors, or even outdoors for
 that matter: a door can be a line, and its absence
 and its absence can make many differences.
Back to unlocked doors - finding this information
 can be the hardest task, requiring close attention
 and second only to choosing one and only one to
 open.  I have often wished that unlocked doors
 would swing open from the wind of my desire - such is vanity.

 

If it was cummings, writing about someone with the initials e.s., and\or himself (i.e. me; e. e.) but really {of course}, as always, about death.

Door                s are for                    ever taking on new me                    anings for                    me                   .
A door             way de             fines a path, and those door                 s that are open, or                 unlocked, allow for                    choices of fate and de                          termination.  I have see             n many door                 s.
A door             de                   fines in other ways also.  Like the expression about what happens be                   hind closed door                 s - but more                exquisitely                     , what happens through open door                 ways, or                     be                   hind no door                 s, or                 e                    ven outdoor                        s for                 that matter: a door               can be             a line, and its absence can make many             differences.
Back to unlocked door              s - finding this infor             mation can be              the hardest task, re             quiring close attention and second only                  to choosing one and only                       one to open.  I have often wished that unlocked door                 s would swing open from the wind of my de                       sire - such is vanity.

If it was about individual youth developing vs. all things societal, and that as a means for a statement on censorship, in a general anti-war style akin or in homage to Joseph Heller.

doors are forever takIng on new meanIngs for me

a doorway defines a path and those doors that are open or unlocked allow for choIces of fate and determination I have seen many doors

a door defines In other ways also.  lIke the expressIon about what happens behInd closed doors but more exquIsitely what happens through open doorways or behInd no doors, or even outdoors for that matter a door can be a lIne, and Its absence can make many dIfferences back to unlocked doors fIndIng thIs InformatIon can be the hardest task requIrIng close attentIon and second only to choosIng one and only one to open I have often wIshed that unlocked doors would swIng open from the wInd of my desire such Is vanIty.

                                                                                                Regretfully,

                                                                                                            Irving Washington

If I had way too much time on my hands and thought about the aesthetics of boxing.

doorsareforevertaKINGonnewmeaningsformeadoorwaydefinesapathandthosedoorsthatareo
penorunlockedallowforchoicesOFfateanddeterminationihaveseenmanydoorsadoordefinesinothe
rwaysalsolikeTHEexpressionaboutwhathappensbehindcloseddoorsbutmoreexquisitelywhat
happensthroughopendoorwaysorbehindnodoorsorevenoutdoorsforthatmatteradoorcanbeali
neanditsabsencecanmakemanydifferencesbacktounlockeddoorsfindingthisinformationcanbe
thehardesttaskrequiRINGcloseattentionandseconDonlytochoosingoneandonlyonetoopenih
aveoftenwishedthatunlockeddoorswouldSWINGopenfromthewindofmydesire-
such is vanity?

But if I wanted to do any of those things, I wouldn’t have done it this way.  To form thoughts about doors or men, I would have looked into different mediums; for emulating cummings, I would have chosen clearer images (and more death) to work; in discussing war or anything about society, I would have taken off the kid gloves.  No, this was about the relationships between people.  Maybe between words too.

Copyright ©2003 Daniel Boughton

 

-

"Vexations, Elations"

[layout may differ from published version - this is closer to the preferred version]

What follows                                                                                        Daniel Boughton
is a sprinkling of experiences chronicled
                                      and compiled to examine the human spirit.  Fiction jumps
                                                                                                                        out of
fact and prose follows closely at the w
                                                        heels of poetry.  Really thereisnoseparation.

Excerpt from “Ring around the Fire”                                                           September 10, 2002

It had come naturally enough – although I know the day and the general circumstances, I’d be lying if I said I could recall what inspired each of us to begin the exchange – and we made what we could in short time.  It wasn’t just the summer, it was less, for she was house staff while I worked onstage and backstage, and also she went on vacation for two weeks after we met.  And we met halfway through the season.  But it came so naturally that the hard part was having no way to address the issue.  There were never any awkward silences to fill.  When conversation flows, there’s no opportunity to interject “I’m not going to be here in a week.  I may never be back.”  There’s no reason not to take everything as is, no more, no less.

Four spelunkers missing, presumed eaten by wild animals             December 3, 2001

Friday night I dragged three of my new drunk friends down the mountainside, ostensibly to go skinny-dipping at the falls.  Going directly along the riverbed instead of following the path, we managed to risk our necks from an attack of gravity as well as that of the pack of coyotes we heard howling.  Luckily, one of my companions was a "spelunker" as he put it, so we knew to "let the first coyote bite you but kick the second one in the nose.  He is the leader of the pack and they will all retreat when he gets hurt."  We managed to survive, although it would have made a good story to have been eaten by wild animals.  We didn't make it to the falls though, about two thirds of the way there my companions decided to turn back, and you may know how hard it is to convince tired drunks of anything.  Our spelunker headed straight off towards the lights of the lodge above rather than following the trail which we had picked up in the valley.  These people had been fun all night though, so I'll forgive them the retreat.

What You See                                                                                      July 3, 2002

The colors seemed to magnify the importance
The purple night, intoxicating, drawing us out of our shells, out
Of the city, out into the night
To better glimpse the silver twinkling stars
In their dark canopy, the sky black straight above
Washing into after-midnight blue
And at the horizon, the dark white fog
Clouded the darker shapes of hills

Later - the white railing appeared curved beyond possibility
As something rustled in the woods
''Lovely, dark and deep''
Beneath the orange moon
Which had taken off her cap
And slowly brightened, turning almost pink
We were all in strange frames of mind
And we shared the colors with laughs and words

cherry                                                                                                   July 7, 2002

The first cherry coke had two cherries.  The second, delivered with a meaning glance, had three.  Many exchanges of smiles and stares later, the third had four cherries.  He tied a stem in his mouth and left it with a generous tip.

hungry for thoughts in words                                                               October 3, 2001

After the opening performance, more than a dozen of those involved gathered at Huddle House.  Though much of the conversation there I found to be quite surface-level, eventually I found myself deeply engrossed with Watts and Wolverton.  I actually noticed the apparent depth of this ongoing interaction before I could detach myself from my party and join in.  Wolverton noted that I really should have made that leap earlier, I missed out on the beginning but was able to add a lot at the end there.

We were discussing matters of personal faith and belief, and I was just getting into the topic, when my roommates left, so I stayed behind.  Now I have known Watts for a time and have always found him quite intriguing, and certainly entertaining, but Wolverton was, hither unto a few weeks ago, completely unknown to me.  I was quite glad to make her acquaintance and learn of the depth of her concerns in so brief a time.

So we continued discussing and revealing these little parts of our intimate thoughts, and so the night wore on.  At last the three were broken up, and Wolverton and I, as she brought me home, and even for a span of time after that, went on talking.  By the time I retired to my bed, I was convinced of the good fortune I had to have met this thoroughly intriguing character, one of the most interesting new friends this semester.

Desire                                                                                                  February 2, 2002

Desire comes to me
She pushes me on my back
Going through a door
And not ever coming back

Desire
Feels something tonight
That she hasn't in so long
She's guiding my hand
Around her as we both long
For more
Lines are slowly passed
As we stare into hot eyes
If I turn from light
She reflects; it's mine she eyes

This time
There is no other
Its passage is an aside
Moving we are paused
Acting pushes time aside
Limbs roam
Minds come together
Exploring a new focus
Brilliant intensity
And on Desire I focus

Earnest                                                                                                 November 10, 2001

They were all leaving, together, and before she left Savannah took my hand and shook it -- an awkward gesture, especially with the common theatre departure embrace being a hug -- but with grace nonetheless due to her countenance.  She had upon her face earnestness, as she told me in few words that she had enjoyed meeting me.  She had moreover dispensations aplenty:  This was not her group, her scene, so knowing the culture and tendencies was not expected; and she was young(er) enough to have some disorientation at the whole.  And it was not as if I had not the same feelings in myself, apartness and earnestness, though I had not I think shown as much in my actions.

I had wanted to say more than I had, to converse on most any a theme.  I had not.  But I saw, as she folded my hand in hers for those few seconds, that she had noticed and appreciated my attempts, or had otherwise determined, from our little interaction, a desire to know more.  To feel more, and to connect in some way that I cannot describe.

Destiny                                                                                     May 30, 2002

Together: we two spent the night in bed
when we had only met four hours before.
I don’t remember if we slept all day
so it's no wonder she got in my head.
"Was I in her head also?" I wondered
at first; we never were so close again.
Even that first night we were not alone
and all of us, lonely in different ways,
found after something soon to be much more
than we had known; I wanted her my own,
not seeing how happily she lingered
with he who delivered satisfaction.
It’s Destiny and I could never be
what she could be for me.  And now I see.

Excerpt from a poem whose title is not reproduced here                  November 7, 2002

The on switch of your face
is activated by a sensor
which registers only my arrival

Excerpt from “raw”                                                                           July 20, 2002

I think most of the reason I like meeting new people so much is that I haven't fucked anything up with them yet.  I mean, it's hard not to.  Everyone here thinks/realizes I'm a complete nutcase.  Only three or four really seem to appreciate me despite or beyond that, at least with any depth.  And one's happily engaged, one's underage, one's a freak herself, etc.  I might as well accept I'm not going to accomplish much here this summer and just enjoy.  But it's hard to just enjoy and really still do it.  At least for me.

A close second reason is that I haven't realized all others' shortcomings yet either.

Copyright ©2001-2002, 2003 Daniel Boughton

 


-

stars

by Daniel Boughton

Samson grimaced.  The muscles in his back and neck, all of them it seemed, burned.  His hands felt like deadweights tied to his stiff-broken wrists, hanging at the end of arms too tired to swing as he walked away from the studio.  This art was too much, it was eating him up, layer by layer from the outside, as the skin on his feet hardened and fell off, grew raw and hardened and fell off and grew raw again.  Yet as long as he kept at it, just as his namesake had let his hair grow -- the longer it went the stronger he grew.  Pain, so encompassing, so cutting, could be so rewarding.

Grace he was sure felt the same thing, though she attacked it more cyclically, coming round through pain to that joy and falling back in pain again.  Always the return or retreat from joy - not the same as his (nearly) ceaseless plodding on towards that fulfilled joy.

Yet, though apart in technique, they were tied together in a strange balancing advance that wobbled as if uncontrolled.  They gravitated forwards -- and together?  This interlocking orbit, had it any resolution?  Any closer sphere?  Or were they in fact flung farther on each rounding, a comet speeding away to visit other stars, and return only to view that origin as it too moved?

Samson tried to breathe, the flames on his neck and dryness in his throat arcing to stars of pain in the numbness around the back of his head.  The headache crept toward his eyes.

Copyright ©2002, 2003 Daniel Boughton

 

-

left out

by Daniel Boughton

I was running.  I don't know why I was running.  The light wasn't fading that fast.  But it looked so perfect, I saw the scene in my head, from when I hadn't had my camera, and knew the light was the same now.  Or close.  I wasn't really running all that fast, the feeling of the light had somehow gotten into me and I was jogging sprightly across the concrete, which glowed in that faint twinge of orange-yellow from the lamps above.  Somewhere as I ran I hooked the camera from my pocket and turned on the flash.  I ran up the stairs, over the curb, across the street, stepped briskly through the building and then I was running again, across the plaza, leaping softly over the small flights of stairs, then directly to the fountain and up, pausing barely to see the scene.  At the top it was near enough to how I remembered, how I wanted, so I lifted the camera, framed it, squeezed; then I was done, I descended and continued nimbly to my destination.

Copyright ©2002, 2003 Daniel Boughton

 


Copyright ©2000 Daniel Boughton


-

Love in Face of Fear

by Daniel Boughton

My every thought is all afire for her,
On conquering her my heart forever dwells;
To her would I bring gold, incense, and myrrh
To show my love for her which greatly swells.
I wish I could arrange with her to meet,
And force myself to tell her my desire.
Alas, my courage is not so complete
To let my voice reveal to her this fire,
For I cannot declare to her my needs,
In fear that I will put myself to shame.
If I should open up my heart which bleeds,
She could deny me still, in me find blame.
This much is clear, though knitted on my brow,
I must obey my heart's demand; but how?

Copyright ©1998 Daniel Boughton