Newsletter by Date
- Vol 2, #1 - January 11, 2000
- Vol 2, #2 - March 8, 2000
- Vol 2, #3 - May 7, 2000
- Vol 2, #4 - July 22, 2000
- Vol 2, #5 - August 18, 2000
- Vol 2, #6 - November 11, 2000

Vol. 2 No. 1- Jan. 11, 2000
Revisions in the Works:
I have just completed the revision of the Titus 2 Birthing cbe
curriculum. I expanded the VBAC information to include some
information in Henci Goer's new book: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a
Better Birth, and expanded the vaccine info to include the refusal
form and a comprehensive list of resources for those couples who want
to do more research before deciding the issue. Other revisions
included adding more filled in information in those areas that
couples indicated they wanted to see in print instead of having to
fill in. This almost halved the information they could write in
during the class series.
All books that you order from here on out will include the newer
form. There are 3 books left in the old format for someone interested
in a discount of the $15 cost per book.
The teacher's guide is also being revised. It will no longer be in
bound form, but provided in a 3-ring binder. This will make it easier
for you to add/ change pages as the material is revised. It will
remain color-coded to match the workbooks.
The Labor Support material is also being revised. The revision
should be out by the end of Feb. so that I can use it for our
Mar/April workshop.
We have also done some revision to the web page. There is now a
registration form for the Labor Support workshops and a current
schedule of training dates and locations. I will be adding a
registration form for the CBE program in the near future.
Training Dates:
- And that brings me to our current calendar.
- Labor Support Training:
- Mar 31-Apr 1 in Ft Worth mailto:Titus2@flash.net
- May 18-20 in So. Cal. mailto:Lrn2Birth@aol.com
- Aug. 11-12 in Ft Worth mailto:Titus2@flash.net
- Titus 2 Birthing CBE Intensive:
- You must have completed at least 5 of the 9 correspondence
modules to attend
- Tentative Date: June 7-10 in Ft Worth
- This may be the only Intensive we do this year.
The Prayer Battle for Birth
I recently provided labor support for a young couple who were
referred to my by a sister midwife. The young woman was still in her
teens and the young man was in his early 20's. They have overcome
many hardships during their short relationship, and I was honored to
be a part of this birth. It was an unusual birth in some ways, and
re-emphasized to me the notion that some births are won more in the
prayer closet than the labor room!
K's family is strongly Christian, and recommended that she seek a
Christian birth professional for this birth. K's mom works for a
local Christian psychiatrist who specializes in working with abuse
survivors. We discussed some of the abuse in K's past at the
interview, but there were some things they weren't quite ready to
share until the day of the birth.
The day before the birth, I got a call from K & L to tell me
that her water had broken, but she was planning to stay home for a
while. We worked for several hours on walking, talking through her
options, and just getting through early labor that night. The next
morning, we went in to the hospital for the delivery.
One of the first things K's dad did after we arrived was to pull
everyone in the family together to pray for K, L, the baby, me, and
the staff who would help deliver the baby. His prayer emphasized the
faith they all had that God would direct this birth and that He would
care for and protect us during this time. It set a wonderful
precedent for this labor.
Several hours later, with little progress, K's mom finally pulled
me aside to discuss an issue she now felt had to be covered: K had
multiple personality disorder (MPD) and DID, a dissociative method of
dealing with overwhelming crisis. Lots of things made sense now,
although I had had suspicions of this before since I have an adopted
daughter with the same problems from the same kind of abuse.
Scar tissue from K's abuse at 4 years was impeding the cervix
dilation, but it was not the primary concern. What was of utmost
concern was her expressed desire at one point to "escape" from the
process, which could have caused us to have to deal with an alternate
personality, or to not be able to get her to respond at all. We
talked about the situation and I explained what was causing the
discomfort (a stenoic cervix) and why it was probably there. Once she
seemed to grasp the fact that escape wasn't an option, and we got her
something to deal with the pain, I left her with L and went to find
her family. I stressed to them the urgency of prayer and what I felt
we specifically needed to pray for. I also obtained permission to
call our prayer chain and another midwife for additional support and
prayer.
Shortly after renewed prayer, things began to change. The attitude
of the staff changed. The room availability problem resolved (we had
been stuck in triage for hours waiting on a room). K was able to
better deal with the whole labor situation and was also able to get
some sleep, aided by the medication she received. A Christian
anesthesiologist arrived to place a much-needed epidural and provided
support, concern, faith, and humor. K finally began to progress in
dilation and saw that the staff believed that she would in fact birth
this baby vaginally. K was also able to push fear and abuse issues
out of the way to concentrate on the birth of her son.
I am pleased to report that K & L have a lovely son who popped
out with a minimal amount of pushing. He was perfect, having suffered
no ill effects from the destructive lifestyle his parents had been
living at his conception. K was able to easily and successfully
breastfeed him within a few minutes of birth. The whole family is
doing well, and K & L are now planning a wedding for the spring.
K is much stronger and much more confident that she will recover and
live a beautiful life as a King's Kid with a wonderful, godly husband
who proved himself able to lead and serve his family.
This birth was won in the prayer closet. There were many factors
that could have ambushed this birth, and quite a few of those factors
surfaced. There were many people who prayed this birth through, and
kept praying for much of the process.
K, L, and their family believe strongly that prayer, faith, and
Christian support gave them the best possible birth. They are looking
forward to a home birth of several kids in their future, now that the
hardest birth is won. I look forward to attending the wedding, the
future births, and watching this couple grow in the love and
admonition of the Lord. This couple has come a long way and they are
much stronger spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically for
their journey.
Alternative Medicine and Birth
A recent article grabbed my attention regarding alternative
medicine and midwife-attended births. It was especially intriguing
because I have been heavily involved in studying several of these
alternative options for the last several years and have been known to
provide information to clients.
Here's the article, and my comments and the Titus 2 perspective
follows:
- Midwives Commonly Offer Alternative Medicine to
Pregnant Women
-
- WESTPORT, Jan. 03 (Reuters Health) - A majority of certified
nurse-midwives surveyed recently by researchers from the
University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, reported that they
recommend complementary and alternative medicine for pregnant and
postpartum patients.
- Results of the survey, conducted by Dr. Alexander D. Allaire
and colleagues are published in the January issue of Obstetrics
and Gynecology.
- The researchers sent surveys to 120 certified nurse-midwives
in North Carolina; most had hospital- or clinic-based practices.
They were asked about the prevalence and type of alternative
interventions they had recommended in the last year. Since it was
known that herbal therapy was widely used, there were more
questions on that intervention, including what herbs were
prescribed.
- Of 82 nurse-midwives who responded, 93.9% said they had urged
use of some form of alternative medicine.
- Herbal therapy was recommended by 73%, massage by 67%,
chiropractic by 57%, and acupressure by 52%. Midwives also
recommended aromatherapy, homeopathy, spiritual healing,
acupuncture, and mind-body interventions.
- Herbs were most often recommended for nausea and vomiting.
Ginger was most commonly recommended, with peppermint, raspberry
leaf and chamomile also being suggested.
- For women past their due dates, evening primrose oil, black
cohosh, blue cohosh, raspberry leaf and castor oil was prescribed.
- The authors say that their study shows widespread use of
alternative medicine by midwives, although there was some
potential for bias. Respondents might have been only those who
felt strongly about using the therapies, they note.
- The use of alternative medicine in pregnant women raises many
questions since "most of those treatments have not been adequately
investigated for safety and efficacy in pregnancy," the authors
say. But they did find that alternative therapies were usually
used in conjunction with traditional medicine, not as a
substitute.
- Obstet Gynecol 1999;95:19-23.
The official Titus 2 policy on the use of any form of alternative
medicine is that we do not certify your ability or competency if you
use them. If you use some form of alternative therapy, we want you to
provide documentation for your file regarding your competency and
training. This may include a list of workshops you have attended,
verification of competency from a licensed practitioner, or something
similar. (This is the same type of documentation we require for use
of any clinical skills.)
I will admit that I use several of the listed forms of alternative
medicine. I also have accumulated a considerable number of training
hours for those forms that I use. These hours are documented in my
file and can be verified by a local educational group which provides
much of my midwifery training.
Why the issue? In this sue-happy world, it is prudent to document
your ability to provide anything beyond basic emotional and physical
support. It's prudent for the T2 program not to certify your ability
to use any method for which we don't provide training or competency
documentation. It's prudent for you to insure that you get
appropriate training for anything that carries a risk factor to the
mom, baby, your ability to work, and the certifying agency which
provides your credentials.
And lastly, the official policy regarding spiritual healing and
mind-body interventions! If it isn't supported in the Bible, don't!
The only spiritual healing I want to see or hear about is the use of
prayer, and possibly biblical counseling if you have the training. As
far as mind-body interventions, biblical meditation is fine, but the
other stuff is out. If you aren't sure what you mean by those terms
is acceptable or not, ask. I can assure you I have an opinion!
An Opportunity!!
The Association of Texas Midwives (ATM) 2000 Conference is May 4-6
in Arlington (D/FW), Texas. The keynote speaker will be Henci Goer,
author of Obstetric Myths Vs Research Realities and The Thinking
Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. The conference is open to any
interested birth professional or lay person.
As a member of the planning committee for this conference, I can
tell you the conference list of speakers and workshops is top notch.
Henci will be speaking all day Thursday, and much of her presentation
will be geared towards doulas, OB nurses, CBEs, as well as midwives.
Cost for this conference is being kept low to encourage many to
attend. The Thursday session is $45 for all day, and the Friday and
Saturday conference days are $100 for ATM members and $160 for
non-ATM members. A registration form for the Thursday session is up
on the T2 web site, and I will do a form for the conference as soon
as all of the schedule and such is worked out.
Please plan to attend if you can. There will be a time of
fellowship for Christian birth professionals. We expect to see quite
a number of our friends there. I will also be sharing my table with
Debra Evans and Shonda Parker by including their books for sale. Both
of these ladies have expressed an intent to come, so I am hoping that
our fellowship time will be blessed by their presence.
If you need additional information about the conference, feel free
to contact me.
Capturing the Vision
If I had a dollar for everyone in my past whom I have ever
intimidated, overwhelmed, or caused to panic because of the work I
do, the way I do it, what I am willing to take on, or the depth of
knowledge I had about a given subject, I would be a wealthy woman.
That's not pride! That's fact. I know it's true because I get told
that frequently.
Most of us have something about which we are passionate. It's also
common to catch someone else's vision for something, decide it's neat
and want to get involved. Sometimes we get involved too quickly, too
deeply, or amiss, and back out in a hurry because we suddenly realize
it's overwhelming.
The problem is often that the vision is great and wonderful, but
it's not YOUR vision. We get lost in trying to carry someone else's
vision instead of our own. Or worse, we get lost in trying to be that
person and do all or a large part of what they are doing and realize
we can't. The awesome thing is: THAT'S OK!!
Take your faith. You have a relationship with God that's yours. It
may be all God wants it to be, or not, but it is your relationship.
Each of us has a unique relationship because God deals with us
uniquely. God takes us with all our good points, bad points, neutral
points, past, present, future, and everything else that makes us an
individual and designs a relationship unique for each person. I can't
wear your relationship; I can only wear mine.
A life vision is the same way; what God gives each person is
uniquely theirs. That means I can't walk in your path and you can't
walk in mine. Or, as a dear friend and sister put it, "I need to quit
trying to be Kathy and just be me." Fortunately, there is only one of
me, and God did not call any one else to walk the same path He
directed for me.
That doesn't mean we can't share parts of the vision or parts of
the load. It does mean we must each carry our own share of the unique
path because it's hard on someone else to carry our share. It doesn't
mean we can't work together on similar projects. It does mean I can't
expect someone else to do things just like me or to see things
exactly like I see them and feel called to do.
The good news is: God has a unique ministry for you and will
provide you a vision. He often sends others to come along side to
help you fulfill the ministry He has placed you in. The bad news is:
You can't refuse the vision and expect it to get done. You can't
carry someone else's load and expect it to work. You can't be that
other person, BUT, you can be the best you God called you to be.
And Finally:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an
article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let
us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to
forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to
subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out
arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already
scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Vol. 2 No. 2, March 8, 2000
Special Thanks
A hearty thanks goes to the many of you who prayed for our family
recently as we added 2 small infants to our home during the week of
Valentine's. Kaleb will be here another 5 weeks or so before he can
join his mom and dad. Teddy, Kaleb's dad, has been over quite a bit
to spend time with his son and we encourage you to continue to pray
for he and Kelly.
Isis' mother has abandoned her to our care and we have been
offered the opportunity to adopt her. We intend to do so and have
begun the process. The first order of business being to change her
name to a more godly choice. We have chosen to name her Risa Joy and
are enjoying our small daughter. None of the withdrawal symptoms she
experienced from her mother's crack habit were severe; a testimony to
the hundreds of people praying for her, the moms who donated
breastmilk for her, and lots of kangacare. Our doctor has declared
her normal, and although we know to watch for certain long-term
possibilities, we do not expect these to manifest.
We covet your continued prayers as we work to pull together the
necessary finances for the adoption and manage the logistics of a
newborn in a hectic schedule. Thankfully, most of my responsibilities
are such that I can carry Risa with me, and we are thankful for the
numerous offers to assist with childcare and family tasks. We are
also grateful for the donation of clothing, blankets, breastmilk, and
formula.
Reflections on Social Responsibilities
When I called to tell my parents that we were going to adopt Risa,
they had many concerns. Babies born to crack-addicted moms often have
numerous physical, emotional, mental and spiritual problems that are
testimony to the sins of the parent being visited upon the child.
They also have a difficult time understanding why we feel the need.
now and in the past, to become parents to the children of others. As
I mulled over their questions, I felt a need to address some of them
in this column.
- First, whose responsibility is it to care for a child when the
parents don't? The State would tell you that it is theirs. They,
and they alone, should be allowed to determine what is in the best
interest of the child. They should determine what homes are fit
for children and which ones are not. But, this runs diametrically
opposed to the Bible. God says that children are His blessing, and
sometimes He uses interesting ways to bring children into a home.
He makes it clear that He is Father to the Fatherless. As His
representatives, therefore, it becomes the place of the Church to
assist where necessary. That's why almost all of the early
orphanages were outreaches of the church.
- As the Church, we need to provide places of refuge for those
who are in need. That may include crisis pregnancy centers
maternity homes, or temporary housing for families in need. That
assistance should come with some involvement in these families to
encourage them in a spiritual walk, help with work opportunities,
offer counseling where needed, and assist in such a way that we
provide a hand up and not a hand-out. It may mean providing
temporary shelter to a child in need until the parent can become
more stable or providing permanent placement where the parent has
no desire to care for the child at all.
- It's been said that it takes a village to raise a child.
Really, it should be a Church with a heart of love and many open
arms. A Church who take the vows made in our baby dedication time
seriously: to pray for the child, love him or her, live a godly
example, and assist where necessary to meet physical needs.
-
- Second, what can we, as the Church, do to help families take
responsibility for the children they co-create with God? I think
Titus 2 is a good place to start - older women teaching younger
women to be lovers of their children and husbands, chaste, and
keepers of the home and older men teaching the younger men to be
responsible husbands and fathers. Family-centered ministries which
provide mentoring, education, fellowship and spiritual support for
young families are vital to providing a foundation for these
families to build on and also give them a place to turn when
things are difficult.
- Teaching young people abstinence until marriage is also
important. In a society which bombards us daily with messages that
appeal to our sexual appetite, kids need to know they can learn
self-control in this area. They need to see parents in a loving
relationship where affection is appropriate and evident. They need
single role-models that practice a godly life of celibacy instead
of touting "safe sex" and situational ethics. Perhaps they may
even need to re-evaluate convential dating for their teens as a
path that encourages the spirit of divorce more than preparation
of married life.
-
- Third, we need to revive an attitude that sees children as a
blessing from God and not an inconvenience. This means not just a
pro-life ethic where we don't condone abortion, but one where
families seek God's will on how many children, from where, and
when instead of seeking to control it. In no other arena would
most of these families seek to so limit how and when God can bless
them! This means that a family who feels God leading them not to
have children at this point choose methods that don't destroy a
life. This means that we manage our resources responsibly to
provide the best that we can for EVERY child that God sends our
way.
- This also means that we don't draw the line by rejecting a
child that has problems. That rejection may be at birth because of
defects or later in life when their decisions aren't ones that we
approve of. This means that we take time to appreciate each child
for who he or she is and make that child feel loved and accepted
so they don't have to go somewhere else (gangs, cults, too-early
sex, victims of those who prey on children) to find the acceptance
they need. This might include not aborting a child with birth
defects, taking on a child who has been rejected by his or her
parents, providing a safe place for neighborhood kids to gather
and fellowship, being a youth sponsor or teacher at the church, or
including a kid with problems at home in your family activities.
-
- Fourth, we need to pray for our nation and our world. We need
to expand our reach to those who would not darken the door of a
church. We need to be active in the political arena; not only by
voting for morally-responsible candidates, but by taking office
when responsibilities allow. We need to be light dispelling the
darkness and providing hope to the hopeless. We cannot sit idly by
hoping that things will get better, whining about what's wrong,
and refusing to be part of the solution.
- I'm not really advocating a "Social Gospel" here because all
to often what passes for social Gospel is simply humanism with
some Bible thrown in. What I am advocating is the same kind of
revolutionary love and service that Jesus showed by going to where
the greatest need is and meeting the need where you find it.
My parents may not understand why we feel it's our responsibility
to care for someone else's child, but I can affirm to you that I
learned it in their home. I learned that children have a right to be
wanted and loved! I learned that you do what you can to meet a need
and trust God for what you don't have resources to meet. I learned
that families are the building block of society and children need a
stable home. I learned that two parents who love God can make a
difference in the lives of their children and influence them to live
godly lives. I even learned that God can provide surrogate or
adoptive parents when the relationship between a parent and child is
too stressed for real communication and acceptance to ring through.
No, God may not have called us to take on every child we know who
needs a home and family, but He has sent us more than a few and will
continue to do so I am sure. I am grateful that He has not limited
our family to the number of children I could physically give birth
to. We are blessed by their presence and their lives.
Of "Mommytors" and Monitors
Risa is not the first child in our home who ever needed monitoring
during sleep. We have had three other children who experienced
episodes of apnea, irregular heart beats, and asthma and allergic
reactions that could have resulted in SIDS. A sleep monitor was not
always an option for those children, and we learned to carefully
monitor the child's problem. Perhaps the most effective way was the
"Mommytor.
Mommytors differ from monitors in that they have no mechanical
parts to malfunction, no electric or battery supply needed, and care
more deeply for the child than a machine. Occasionally subject to
false-alarms, Mommytors are not fool-proof, but can be trained to
respond appropriately to real emergencies.
What I am referring to, of course, is kangaroo care and
co-sleeping with a child. For experience I can assure you that moms
who are not chemically impaired or so utterly exhausted they can't
function can and will become alerted to a child who stops breathing
during sleep, assist a baby to regulate body temperature, breathing
and heart-rate by skin-to-skin contact, and can learn to exercise
life-saving techniques where needed.
Studies on kangaroo care with preemies have demonstrated that
these babies grow faster, gain weight better, and learn to regulate
body systems faster than babies who are machine monitored. So why not
teach moms who have babies with problems to kanga-carry them? Why not
enlist the assistance of other family members to provide alternate
kanga-care to give the parents a break so we don't exhaust them?
I am not willing to say all apnea monitoring is bad, and I am
certainly not willing to see short-staffed hospital NICU units turn
off monitors on babies who can't or aren't being kanga-carried.
However, I am willing to go on the record to say that machines are a
poor substitute for personal care, whether EFM in the labor room or
apnea monitors on babies.
Birth and Death: Through a Child's Eyes
The following essay was posted on the Fensende Childbirth Educator
list in November. I asked the author if I had permission to reprint
it in one of our newsletters and/or the Titus 2 Birth curriculums and
she gave it. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. If you want to
respond to the author, you may contact her at email -
lizfeld@uic.edu.
"Birth and Death: Through a Child's Eyes"
When our daughter Hannah was not quite three years old, she
participated in the birth of her younger sister, Leah, in our
bedroom, the same room into which she had been born. She gently
placed washcloths on my head, helped bring up the bassinet from the
basement, spent time in the kitchen with her Aunt Julie baking a cake
for the baby, and held Leah within minutes after she was born. When
Hannah was almost five, she was present during the final days and the
death of her grandfather, in the den, which became his room during
his dying days. She put a washcloth on his head, helped to smooth his
sheets, brought her crayons in and colored pictures sitting by his
side, and touched his body after he died.
Hannah is now ten years old, and her reminiscences about these
events are neither profound nor startling -- they are, in fact,
entirely ordinary. She remembers the strawberries on the cake, and
how Julie had to come upstairs and ask me where the flour was, in the
middle of noisy, hard contractions. She remembers how she ran to get
her favorite doll right after Leah came out, and how Doctor Fred
pretended to tie off her doll's umbilical cord just as he had done to
Leah's. She saw the baby go directly into my arms for nursing at the
breast. And she remembers how we were building our sukkah, the
temporary shelter for the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, just outside the
window of Grandpa Albert's room, and how pale and sleepy he was. She
perhaps recalls that my dad, who hadn't been eating at the nursing
home, eagerly polished off a bowl of my mother-in-law's chicken soup
with matza balls on that Friday night we first brought him home, and
how he roused from his drowsy state to join us in the Hebrew blessing
over the challah to mark what would be his last Sabbath. She observed
me sitting at my father's side, holding his hand, humming a song
while I nursed a sleepy toddler.
Hannah's memories are of events that seemed to her to be a normal
part of our family's life, and she found nothing unusual about them.
But of course, in modern American culture, it is not at all usual for
a child to be so close to birth and death, to experience them so
intimately. These days, birth and death are more often experienced at
a distance, removed from the confines of people's homes and placed
within the sterile walls of a hospital. Or they are not experienced
at all, but simply occur elsewhere while children and other family
members wait at home. What might otherwise be formative events in
children's lives are lost, and the adults that these children become
are unable to draw on these memories. We physicians have contributed,
perhaps unwittingly, to the depersonalization of these deeply
personal and primal moments. I see so many adults who bear the wounds
of having been taken away from intense emotional family events, under
the guise of being protected or sheltered from grief. What they tell
me is that having been left out, not having had their questions
answered or guilty feelings addressed, leaves wounds that have not
and may never fully heal.
My daughter now carries with her an intimate, visceral familiarity
with the ebb and flow of the birth and death processes. During my
dad's last days Hannah asked how we would know that he was dead,
since he appeared to be sleeping so much of the time anyway. On the
day he died, when she came back from nursery school she asked to go
into the room and see his body. For all of our talk of souls or
spirits going to be with God, I think she was most interested in
seeing how we could tell he was really dead. Although cautious, she
did not appear unduly frightened as she reached out and touched his
arm, looking closely at his face in order to truly know that he was
no longer breathing. In a similar way, from the safety of her daddy's
arms she had pointed toward the crowning, emerging head of her little
sister as I grunted and moaned, commenting matter-of-factly, "That's
the baby's head." Later that day she drew a picture of a baby with
what looked like shoes near the bottom. When questioned about the
shoes she replied, with a trace of disdain at the adult who had
missed the obvious, "That's not a shoe, that's the placenta. And over
here is the umbilical cord."
For my daughter, birth seems to have been perceived as an
emotionally intense, special event; the painful moments appeared
normal, not frightening or insurmountable. Death, while similarly
intense and profoundly sad for all of us, was neither scary nor
mysterious. Hannah will recall that during both times there were many
friends and family who were there to support us - -- the community
members who brought us food and who provided a circle of birthing
support and energy, my brother and sister-in-law who maintained the
vigil at my dad's bedside, my dad's brother and sister who came to
say goodbye, and all the close family suspending their outside
obligations during both events in order to be present in our home.
Hannah will remember how, during the first breaths of a new life and
the last breaths of a dying father, we were surrounded in our home by
love, by support, by caring.
I can draw no definite conclusions about the impact of these
experiences on Hannah's psyche or her own future life choices. It is
certainly possible that sometime during adolescence she will view any
of this body stuff, especially the birthing details, as "totally
gross, eeeww, yucky." The inevitable rebellion against her "hippie"
parents could even lead her to a highly technical, hospital birth,
perhaps with epidural anesthesia, or with formula feeding to follow!
But it is my hope that somewhere within the recesses of her
consciousness she will forever understand the very ordinariness of
birth and death, trusting the process itself. At the same time, she
hopefully will hold and cherish the spectacular and special qualities
of these experiences.
As a family physician, I feel that the next generation needs many
more people who will feel safe and comfortable accompanying a friend
or relative through the challenges of childbirth, relying on
professionals to safeguard the woman and baby but not to interfere
with the integrity of the process. Similarly, people all over are
beginning to cry out for those who will accompany them or their loved
ones "through the valley of the shadow of death," once again trusting
the process, offering comfort and palliation without undue
interference.
It is my hope that Hannah's experiences in our home will enable
her to become this kind of person. And I believe that other children,
and other families, can benefit from these kinds of experiences. For
while there are certainly many situations in which home birth or home
death would not be appropriate, they are potentially empowering for
individuals, family, friends and community. As such they should be
offered as options, with health care professionals supporting and
safeguarding them, as we should support other options that enable
families to be more intimately involved in the birth and death
process, such as alternative birthing centers and hospice programs,
as well as changes in hospital routines that might make possible
further inclusion of family members in these pivotal moments.
For our family, the experiences of home birth and home death have
offered us a sense of wholeness, of life coming full circle, of
safety and love within the walls of our dwelling. My younger
daughter, Leah, while not being able to recall the events directly
(certainly not her very own birth!) clearly knows the family lore,
sees the pictures and watches the videotapes of her first moments,
and even views the footage which includes my ailing father at home
with us. Hannah has been present at and remembers these moments. My
husband, and I made the choice to have our babies at home and bring
my father home to die, and I know that we will feel comfortable
supporting other family members in making these kinds of choices,
helping them to give birth at home and to live out their last days at
home, if they choose to do so.
And I hope that I, just as when giving birth, will be able to die
surrounded by friends and family taking care of me in my own home,
giving myself over to and trusting the ongoing flow of the tide.
Elizabeth Feldman, M.D.; UIC/Ravenswood Family Practice Residency;
Chicago, Illinois
Printed in The Journal of the American Board of Family Practice,
July/August, 1999
Current Events:
Don't miss the Association of Texas Midwives conference May 4-6.
Henci Goer is the keynote speaker. The conference theme is:
Midwifery: A Tradition of Excellence. The conference will be held in
Arlington, TX (Dallas/Ft Worth). There are a variety of workshops
open. If you want additional information, a registration form, etc.,
you can contact me or contact ATM conference headquarters at:
Familyb1@juno.com
Labor Support Training:
- Mar 31-Apr 1 in Ft Worth has been canceled due to baby
responsibilities. Participants for the March date can attend the
August date.
- May 18-20 in So. Cal. mailto:Lrn2Birth@aol.com
- Aug. 11-12 in Ft Worth mailto:Titus2@flash.net
Titus 2 Birthing CBE Intensive: (You must have completed at
least 5 of the 9 correspondence modules to attend)
- Tentative Date: June 7-10 in Ft Worth
And Finally:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an
article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let
us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to
forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to
subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out
arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already
scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Vol 2, #3 - May 7, 2000
A Mother's Day Tribute
Lord Jesus Christ, You are the journey, the journey's end,
the journey's beginning. - Dean Mayne, Former Dean of Westminister
Abbey
THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD - A PROMISE FULFILLED
Most of you are aware that our lives have been enriched by the
blessing of a daughter, who will be not quite 3 months old on
Mother's Day. Risa Joy, who's name means Laughter (Latin) and Joy,
has truly brought laughter and joy to our lives. My heart sings as we
lay on the bed playing together and her laughter peals out,
accompanied by her lopsided smile and coos. My day is lighter because
she accompanies me most of the places I go and many ask me about her
so I can tell them how God has richly blessed our life with a
daughter He supplied.
As I look forward to Mother's Day, I count many of the miracles
God has done to bring her into our lives:
- a birth mom who left her with us rather than take her into her
drug-filled world
- a Child Protective Service case worker who came, saw, and left
us with a promise that they would leave her with us and help us to
adopt her because this was "her home" and because she was
obviously loved, wanted, cared for, and happy
- a grieving mom who lost her own 3-month old son, Samuel, to a
heart defect, but wanted to honor his life and so donated all of
the milk she had pumped in his short life that he didn't drink -
about 30 gallons of breastmilk
- a job situation and schedule that allows me to take her almost
everywhere I go so that I do not have to leave her in the care of
others or miss her growing up
- sons and a husband who have been as thrilled as I to have her
in our family and who are willing to change diapers, feed her,
bathe her, and all of the other jobs necessary to care for a small
baby
- friends and family who donated bottles, clothes, diapers, etc.
because we didn't have time to prepare for her coming and they
knew we had a need
- friends who came and helped us lay on a new roof when our
leaked so our home was more welcoming
- friends who prayed for us as Risa went through drug
withdrawals and offered to share care if we needed a break
- God who graciously took all we were able to do for her care,
add a miracle of grace, and heal her body from the ravages of
withdrawal that could have been, but weren't, so that the doctors
were amazed and had to admit she is NORMAL
- the lives of many who have been touched and blessed by her
story, some of whom gained new faith and trust in God
As I work with expectant parents I have a new faith and hope to
share. I can recount the ways that God provides for our needs. I can
assure moms that God never gives us more than we can handle. I can
relay the He fulfills His promises and His Word and we can trust that
He will continue to do so. I can encourage them to see their child as
a blessing from God and this child as His reward. I can affirm that
God works ALL things together for our good, and for the good of our
children. I have a new appreciation for the scripture that tells me
that I am adopted into His family, grafted into the Vine, a child of
promise who is a joint heir to all of the promises in His Word. I can
affirm the value of dedicating a child to Lord and affirming that I
have received her from Him and recognizing my responsibility to raise
her in the love and admonition of the Lord. I can rejoice in the
family of God who walk with us and share the joy and responsibility
of raising her and providing her a firm foundation of faith on which
to build her life.
I am grateful that God keeps His promises. He never forgets when
He makes one and never fails to bring it to pass. We don't always
understand how He will bring things to pass, and most of time are
quite surprised by the ways He does. I'm humbled that He would choose
our home for our bundle of laughter and joy and honored that we will
get to watch her grow up. I'm also grateful that He never let us
bring an Ishmael into our home when we grew weary of waiting for the
child of promise.
As a mother, I want to be like Jesus' mother, Mary. I want to
ponder all these things in my heart. I want to put them all down so
that I have a record for her to know about all the miracles God has
done to bring her about. I want her to grow up knowing that she is
special to God, although not Messiah, but special enough that Messiah
would go to a cross for her so that she would never be separated from
her Loving Father God.
And, I want to affirm to my other children that they, too, are
still special in my heart and life. As my boys grow close to that
time when they will leave to be on their own, I want to remind them
that God will still be faithful to meet their needs. I want them to
remember that God will never leave them or forsake them and He will
be there to guide and protect them. I hope they have developed a
relationship with Him strong enough to carry them thru the rough
places. I want them to remember that I will always be their mother
and will always be concerned about where they are and what they are
doing and that they should call home sometimes and just let mom know
they are fine. I want them to feel like I will still be there to
listen and pray, even when we don't live in the same house anymore. I
want them to know that I still pray that God will bring them the
perfect helpmate and bless them with many arrows for their quivers.
What a blessing and a privilege to be a parent!! What an awesome
responsibility! What a mighty God we serve!!!! Selah!
STRUGGLING AGAINST POOR SOIL
A variety of posts come across my computer. One of the lists I
belong to, one for pastor's wives and women in the ministry, told
about a commercial one of the members heard about a man who owned a
fine vineyard. He was explaining to the narrator why he chose a
certain place for his vineyard. What caught her attention, and later
mine, was this comment: "I chose this place because the soil is so
poor. When you plant a vine, the soil must be poor so that the vine
will struggle against it. This builds character and makes the grapes
into the fine fruit we need with body and robust character to make
our fine wine..."
She wrote: "Here is another of God's amazing truths from nature.
When times are poor and we struggle against them, we are tempted to
wonder where God is. Yet the great Vinedresser knows just what He is
doing. He knows that we are right where we need to be to produce
fruit with character that will bring new wine to a thirsty world."
God may lead us to families that need our service because their
soil is poor. Single moms, inmate moms, couples with marriage and
family problems, nonbelievers, unplanned pregnancies, babies who die,
and the list goes on of those God may send our way. It's important
that our soil be properly nourished or we can't do our best in
helping to pour water and food into their lives as we minister during
a pregnancy. If we have nothing extra to give out, we threaten to
starve us both in the process.
It's also important for us to remember that God may use these
times to strengthen our walk. If I have to admit I am too weak to
carry it alone, I am more willing to reach for help and ask for
strength.
I bought a book for a friend's birthday because we both share a
love for the writing of Barbara Johnson, "the Geranium Lady."
Barbara's new book, "Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends" has
some wonderful things to say to women regardless of where they are in
their life's walk. Here is a list of God's positive answers she
shared for all the negative things we say about ourselves. (pp.
53-54)
- You say, "It's impossible." God says, "All things are
possible." (Lk 18:27)
- You say, "I'm too tired." God says, "I will give you rest."
(Mat 11:28-30)
- You say, "Nobody really loves me." God says, "I love you." (Jn
3:16 34)
- You say, "I can't go on." God says, "My grace is sufficient."
(2 Cor 12:9, Ps 91:15)
- You say, "I can't figure things out." God says, "I will direct
your steps." (Prov 3:5-6)
- You say, "I can't do it." God says, "You can do all things."
(Phil 4:13)
- You say, "I'm not able." God says, "I am able." (2 Cor 9:8)
- You say, "It's not worth it." God says, "It will be worth it
all." (Rom 8:28)
- You say, "I can't forgive myself." God says, "I forgive you!"
(1 Jn 1:9, Rom 8:1)
- You say, "I can't manage." God says, "I will supply all your
needs." (Phil 4:19)
- You say, "I'm afraid." God says, "I have not given you a
spirit of fear." (I Tim 1:7)
- You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated." God says, "Cast
all your cares on me." (I Pet 5:7)
- You say, "I feel so alone." God says, "I will never leave you
or forsake you." (Heb 13:5)
As I work with expectant parents, regardless of their
circumstances, I can't meet all their needs, but He can! I can't be
all the things they need, but He can! I can't provide all the
answers, but He can! Perhaps the best I can do is to be the best
"Jesus with skin on" I can be for the season I have been called to be
a part of their life. To do that, may I always remember to keep my
relationship with Him alive and well so that my soul is fed and
watered, my foundation strong, and my cup full enough to pour out to
others.
Another tidbit from Barbara's book, "Leaking Laffs Between Pampers
and Depends." (p 152) I found it to be good advice for much of what
we do as birth professionals.
Priceless Gifts to Give for Free
- The gift of listening: No interrupting, no daydreaming, no
planning your responses. Just listen.
- The gift of affection: Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back, and handholds. Let these small actions
demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.
- The gift of laughter: Share articles, funny stories, and
cartoons to tell someone, "I love to laugh with you."
- The gift of a written note: A brief, handwritten note may be
remembered for a lifetime and may even change a life.
- The gift of a compliment: A simple and sincere "You look great
in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can
make someone's day.
- The gift of a favor: Every day, go out of your way to do
something kind for someone.
- The gift of solitude: There are times when we want nothing
more than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give
the gift of solitude to others.
- The gift of a cheerful disposition: The easiest way to feel
good is to extend a kind word to someone, even if it's just saying
"Hello" or "Thank you."
- The gift of a prayer: Let your friends and loved ones know you
pray for them&endash;and then do it!
WORKSHOP NEWS
The Southern California Titus 2 Birthing labor support workshop
has been postponed. We do not have a new date, but will post it when
we do. Thanks to both Lori's who worked hard to schedule and
coordinate the effort.
Titus 2 Birthing Labor Support workshop in Ft Worth is Aug. 11
& 12. The registration form is on our web site
(http://www.oocities.org/titus2birthing) as are details about the
workshop. Register early to take advantage of early bird discounts.
Titus 2 Birthing Intensive for the CCCE program has been postponed
due to a variety of reasons, including several new applicants who
need to get their workshop in this summer. The new dates are Aug.
16-19 so that we can get them in before the summer ends. Applicants
must have completed at least 4 of the module question sheets to
attend. If you have questions, feel free to call or email me.
BOOK REVIEW: "Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends"
Nope, it's not a book about childbirth! It is a book about finding
joy in whatever stage of life you are in. It's a book that affirms
that God sees, knows, provides and blesses us in every season of
life.
Barbara Johnson is one of my favorite authors and I own almost
everything she has every written. Her books have brought joy,
laughter, peace, contentment, and revelation to my life over the
years. This book was no exception. It looks at stages of a woman's
life: from motherhood to the older years. I can relate to much of
what she says in the Pampers stage because of Risa. I can relate to
the joys of raising older kids and teens. I can relate to what she
says about married living and even to what she says about creeping
towards menopause.
Sometimes you just have to read a book that's fun and uplifting.
If it's the only one you read this year, it will be time well spent.
If you are looking for a book to encourage another woman going
through the ups and downs of life, it will meet the need. If you want
a good book to add to the church library, your library, or to bless
your women's study group, it's diverse in it's content but profound
in it's truth content and will bless many without being preachy or
complex.
ATM 2000 CONFERENCE
I just spent the last 3 days at the Assoc. of TX Midwives 2000
Conference. It was my privilege to get to spend time with some
wonderfully wise and dedicated women who care about the lives and
childbearing experiences of women. There were midwives there, of
course, but we also had a large number of doulas and childbirth
educators, some labor and delivery nurses, lactation consultants, and
general "birth junkies" in various capacities. I'd like to take just
a bit of time to share some of this weekend with you.
First, it was my pleasure and privilege to spend time with Henci
Goer. We had spent considerable time on the phone over the last 3-4
months, and it was fun to get to spend time together in person. I
found her to be a delightful woman; gracious, considerate,
intelligent, witty, and down-to-earth. She gave and gave to the women
who came. She took considerable time and effort to make sure that she
spoke to the needs and concerns of the women there. She came prepared
to share and be a part of the conference as more than a presenter,
but also as a participant. I was not the only one captivated by her
warm heart and woman's spirit.
Henci spoke on a variety of topics: breeches, inductions, medical
research, out-of-hospital births, hospital births, CIMS, epidurals,
choices in childbirth, and active management in labor. She took a
fair amount of this material from her new book, "The Thinking Woman's
Guide to a Better Birth." However, even if you had read the book, she
still presented material that was fresh and new. Perhaps the only
downside to her presentations was that we didn't tape them for those
of you who couldn't come!
Second, I was pleased with the variety of topics presented. There
were topics that were relevant to midwives, of course, but there were
very few sessions that were not relevant to non-midwife birth
professionals. I did not hear anyone complain about the lack of
sessions to attend. I did hear more than one person complain that
they were having trouble deciding which session NOT to attend because
they wanted to attend more than one session offered in a particular
time slot.
Third, I attended Yvonne Lewis' session, "Where's the Toast" on
menopause and perimenopause. I bought the book she wrote by the same
name, which will probably appear in a later newsletter as a book
review. I was pleased to note Yvonne's biblical perspective for her
advise. Her information was easy to understand, not trendy in nature,
and her presentation was very audience-friendly. As a Naturepath and
"Lifestyle Consultant" working for almost a decade with heath and
nutrition, she provided some excellent information on how to manage
menopause naturally and gracefully.
Fourth, I loved the Prayer and Share session. It was a great
blessing to get together with other Christian professionals who share
the perspective that what we do is a calling from God. It was truly
awesome to hear some of the ways that God has brought various ones to
their present work. It was also a precious time to share tears and
laughter together as we shared our lives. The session wrapped up as
we moved into smaller groups to pray one-for-another. I might add,
that this was not a really small group and I know that there were
other strongly committed birth professionals in this group who did
not attend due to other commitments.
I am grateful to those who assisted in conference planning that
this session was not omitted. I believe it was just as important as
any other session in the conference. I know there were some who came
who confessed to feeling spiritually weak and alone who walked out
strengthened and renewed and sure that her sisters were there for
support. I hope the fellowship and support in that session will
continue to strengthen and bind us together.
Fifth, I enjoyed listening to a number of the midwives sharing
stories about their work. It was a wonderful time to see where we
have been and to look at where we are going. I pray that this session
encouraged those who have not been active in preserving the right of
families to choose the kinds of birth and birth professional they
want to get involved in the fight. I know several of the sessions
caused comments about options that are being lost due to fear-based
medicine. I trust that we will be able to take some of the wonderful
research that is available and make a sound case for the safety of
midwives and out-of-hospital births.
Sixth, I enjoyed getting to meet people I had only chatted with
via email or on the phone. It was a great time to share vision,
knowledge, hope and life's work. There were a number of people I
planned to meet because I knew they were coming. It's always an
interesting experience meeting people you've only met through email
or phone. People seldom look like what you expect. I think that's one
of the neat things about this type of meeting - it brings together
all kinds of people.
Seventh, I was blessed by those who came to the sessions I taught.
Everyone was gracious, friendly and eager to learn. I'm not sure what
I expect those sessions to be, but I was pleased to be asked and glad
that several stopped by to thank me for my time and efforts. It was
also gratifying to hear several that they had looked forward with
great anticipation to a session I was teaching and had all their
expectations met.
I was also blessed by those who have taken on the vision of our
Titus 2 programs - everything from the doula and cbe certification to
the jail programs. I am thankful for the opportunity to share the
vision God has given me and thrilled when others are excited enough
to come along side and pray or get involved. There were lots of good
contacts made and I hope that we will see some of them join our
family.
Otherwise, the food was good. The planning was great and I feel
the time and effort I spent on this conference was well worth the
effort. I wish more of you could have been there.
PRAYER NOTES
I have a few prayer requests for you all.
1. Pray for John and Mandy, a couple here that lost one of their
twins almost two weeks ago. Pray also that Cody, the surviving twin
continues to grow and get stronger.
2. Pray for Suzanne and Mark who lost baby Samuel one month ago.
Bless them for donating all that milk!
3. Pray for the expansion of our jail program. I have met with one
of the five commissioners who control our county programs. She has
expressed support for the current program and for program expansion
and indicated that at least one other commissioner will be very
supportive. Marshall Klaus has offered assistance in helping us to
make a case and to pilot a study, and the Volunteers of America, who
run a federal program for inmate moms and babies, has also offered
their assistance.
4. Pray for my efforts to finish the manuscript for Starting an
Inmate Pregnancy Program. The more I work, the bigger the task grows.
There are a number of people waiting patiently, so I really need to
finish.
5. We have some financial needs for the program and for our
family. I am prayerfully looking at how to raise a budget that will
help fund part of the program expansion and which will take some of
the burden off my husband to provide both for our family and for
ministry expenses. It has been suggested that we seek ministry
partners and that we hold a fund-raiser event. I'm open to
suggestions. I do know that ultimately God is our Provider and He
will provide the resources for what He calls us to do. We don't have
a financial crisis, but I do know that as the program expands, we
will see more expenses. We ask you to pray that God provides us with
wisdom on what we need to do. We also ask any of you who feel led to
partner with the ministry to follow God's leading in whatever way He
is directing you, especially in praying for those of us involved in
leading and working in this ministry.
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an
article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let
us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to
forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to
subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out
arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already
scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Vol 2, #4 - July 22, 2000
Thanks to you all for allowing me a break from newsletters. May
and June were very busy months at our house. Some of the times were
bittersweet and difficult. Other times were just normal busyness.
Risa went back to her mom's family by order of the state in early
June. It was hard to say "Goodbye" and we still miss her.
Our jail program has experienced not a few changes during these
last few months. Titus 2 Birthing will be partnering with the
Volunteers of America's MINT (Mothers, INfants Together) federal
inmate program to expand in some new and exciting ways. We are
looking for grants and private donations right now to fund the 8 beds
in their 20 bed correction facility that will allow inmate moms to
return to confinement with their babies for up to six moths of
parenting and bonding time. I add more about this further down in the
newsletter.
We lost our small funding for the Titus 2 jail program due to a
dispute over the contract which funds the entire chaplaincy program.
It's not a lot of money for us, but many thousands of dollars for the
chaplaincy program. The dispute is not over the Titus 2 program, and
those behind the temporary injunction admit that they are sorry our
funding became a casualty in the fight since they want the program to
continue and to expand. Hopefully this will be settled soon.
In the meantime, we are without funding for running handouts,
assisting financially to families and need and general operating
expenses. We have a small cache of handouts for the current prenatal
class, but nothing for the new parenting classes. We are praying for
God to meet the need as He sees fit. Please join us in agreement that
God will send His resources.
GRIEVING A BIRTH
Yesterday afternoon I came home to get some sleep after a birth.
Somewhere about the middle of my nap, I got a call from a woman who
wanted to interview me about being a doula at her birth. I ask her to
give me several more hours to sleep and I would be glad to talk to
her, but she didn't call back. That's not a problem for me, but it
got me thinking. There are some births that I attend where all I want
to do is get some sleep and other births where I don't, can't, and
need to process. The birth I attended yesterday was not one of those.
Most of us who have been to very many births at all may have run
into this problem. For me, it's generally a birth I need to grieve.
It may be a birth where mom or baby have some lingering problems, but
more often it's because something about the birth just didn't come
out right. It may be that mom and dad were robbed of their birth by
an attendant or attendants that didn't care enough about them to
guard their experience. It may be a birth where mom was medically
assaulted and/or medically battered. It may just be I wasn't sure if
I had done all I could have done to help. It may be that
circumstances simply necessitated that mom give birth somewhere other
than where she wanted or in some other way. Sadly, it may even be a
birth were a mom or baby died.
I have observed from myself and from many other birth
professionals that the need for this process is more true at the
hospital than at birth center or home births, but there is certainly
the potential for that to happen regardless of the place, attendant,
or circumstances. We talk about this sometimes in childbirth classes
when we talk about unexpected outcomes: a cesarean birth, a special
needs child, a transport from a home birth, etc. It's not something
parents want to talk about much, and it's not something that birth
professionals want to talk about much when it comes to our own
grieving.
Sometimes our grief is a feeling that we share with the couple,
although we may not talk with them about it. We may have bonded
tightly enough that their pain is also ours. We grieve because they
do, even if we know that we did everything we could do under the
circumstances. We understand, as Christians, that God works all
things out for our good, but sometimes we are left with that "Why"
question that God doesn't seem to answer. We understand their need to
talk about it and process it, and sometimes we even have to deel with
being the scapegoat when they need someone to blame. We may do
everything we can humanly do help them grieve and cope.
We may even ask ourselves if we should bond so tightly with the
couple that we experience their grief. I think the answer is "Yes!"
We need to work together in such a way that we know what they want.
We need to love them enough to pray for them and offer sympathy (or
empathy) where appropriate. We need to have built a relationship
based on trust and caring. We will also need to have built some
healthy boundaries that allow us to be objective about circumstances
and to acknowledge that this is their birth, their baby, their
family, and not ours and that we can move on when they may not be
able to.
Sometimes, our grief is solitary. We know that things went wrong
that didn't have to, but the parents are thrilled with their birth.
We carry home some concern or knowledge that our action may have
contributed to the problem. We wonder the "What if's" of the
situation and whether we could have changed things. We may have felt
long prior to the birth that the couple's dreams were not based on
reality or that their choice of caregiver, place, or companions would
lead them to experience an outcome different than the one they
desired. Regardless, at least for now, the only griever is us.
So, if we acknowledge that sometimes we grieve a birth, what can
we do about?
First, I think we need to acknowledge that sometimes there is need
to grieve. Pushing it down and avoiding the emotion will not change
it or make the situation go away. Emotions are not right or wrong -
they just are! We have the right to grieve even in situations we know
we can't change or where we are the only ones doing the grieving.
Secondly, we need to pray and allow God to soothe us with His
peace. We can't change the situation, but God can always use it for
good. We need to acknowledge that He doesn't have to tell us why
things happened as they did, and probably won't. We need to trust His
goodness and His wisdom where ours fails.
Thirdly, I believe that we need a safe place to process our
feelings. For me, I have several sisters close enough to me that I
can call and vent, cry, or seek wisdom and they will be there for me
and pray for me. They don't judge me, but they do offer wisdom,
experience, and affirmation. For others, it may be shielding the
names of the participants and sharing it on a list of other birth
professionals or with a local group of professionals. Regardless of
the type of sharing, it does need to protect identities and it should
be in a place where we feel safe.
Fourth, after grieving, we need to release it. We can't live in
the past. We can't minister to others if we are so bogged down in our
own grief loop that we are paralyzed. We do need to move beyond the
experience when we are ready.
I'm grateful that most of the births I attend don't cause me to
grieve. I am also grateful that when there is grief, that I have a
Father who comforts me and sisters who hold me up in many ways so I
can go on to work with the next family.
THE TEMPTATION TO GIVE UP
Stress can make life difficult. God can use it to bring us to the
end of ourselves so that we will reach to Him for strength,
direction, help and comfort. It can be cumulative, building over time
until we suddenly can't go on any more. It can be sudden when one
overwhelming set of consequences just knocks us off our feet.
Earlier this week, cumulative stress struck at my house. Concerns
over finances, personal and at the jail; Risa; and program expansion
produced about a 12-hour overload. The temptation to quit was strong.
Thankfully, God has provided me with a wonderful helpmeet who
understands me enough to let me cry, express my feelings and then
remind me of what I already know. Here's some of what God reminded
me.
One of the more devastating lies from Hell is that we must not be
in God's Will or on the right track if we are experiencing a
difficult time. If that was true, how to we reconcile Job's testing,
Peter and John in jail, Paul and Barabas in jail, believers beaten
and killed for the Gospel, and the scores of other examples of the
trials and challenges of believers? Trials come to us all and may be
much more difficult when we are doing exactly what God called us to
do.
God can use adversity to show us that we are headed in the wrong
direction. I won't argue that point. What we do have to remember is
that the enemy can also bring adversity against us. Our hardest
response may be to determine what is God-driven course correction and
what is an oppressive attack from the adversary of our faith. Here
are some questions and responses to remember when adversity comes:
- Have I prayed for guidance? What is God showing me when I ask
for wisdom?
- Am I following the plan God showed me or walking my own way?
- Am I trying to do this in my own strength or in His?
- What are the results of my labor? If souls are being won and
lives changes, who is more likely to be fighting me?
- Has God continued to bring victories desite the challenges?
Has He sent encouragers and helpers?
- What does my spirit feel? How is that different from the
crying of my flesh?
- What do those whom God has joined with me feel?
- Who stands to gain the most of I give up? Who stands to gain
the most if I perservere?
- Does the adversity coming against me fit God's loving
correction or an attack of the adversary?
What God will show you will determine your course. He promises to
provide us wisdom if we ask Him. He promises to correct us when we
are wrong and give us strength to carry on when we need it.
I'm grateful that God has provided this ministry with some
wonderful advisors! I'm also grateful for a husband who is there to
give me a hand when I need it.
And, just to make it clear, we're not giving up!
A PROGRESS REPORT FROM THE JAIL
A collaberation with the VOA is opening doors for the ladies at
the jail and allowing new opportunities for the families we serve.
Working with an organization that has had a mom and baby federal
inmate program since 1984 will also help provide resources and
encouragement for people interested in beginning a program in their
backyard.
The MINT program will open it's doors for county and state
offenders to spend part or all of their sentence at a facility that
will encourage them to be good parents by providing prenatal and
parenting education, job skills training, and life skills. Their
current curriculum is not faith-based, although the VOA is a
faith-based organization. Their hope is that incorporating Titus 2
curriculum and methods will strengthen their program. The Titus 2
program will benefit from cooparation with a natural organization, an
existing facility that is willing to take some of those moms who are
spending significant amounts of time in jail during pregnancy and
post-partum, and give us a more national exposure. The program will
also provide me with a part-time income once funding is located.
Our Texas Gov. George W. Bush passed a faith-based initiative
through executive orders. This initiative gives equal footing to
faith-based program fulfiling needs for government service. It
acknolwedges that faith-based programs work better to meet needs in
the community than government beaurocracies. He has promised to issue
the same initiate nationally when he wins the White House. (Those
wanting a copy of the faith-based initiative can request one.)
Another addition to the jail program and to the MINT programs will
be the Sears ParentProject curriculum. The first ParentProject class
at the jail will begin this Tuesday. We hope to be able to purchase
Home Editions for inmates soon, copies that will be remain at the
jail. Until then, we will work with the few reproducable masters in
the facilitator's edition and use of the video and activities to
teach the concepts.
Assistance with expansion is coming from some wonderful sources.
Marshall and Phyllis Klaus have offered their assistance and
research. The Sears assisted by providing a copy of the
ParentProject. Our national congressman has offered to provide some
intense publicity and to help with fund-raising activities. The VOA
has offered their resources and their staff assistance. Local jail
and county administrators are offering verbal support and will help
with the change-over when the new sheriff is elected. A local church
has stepped in to help provide some infant clothes for distribution
to families in need.
Work on the promised jail progam manual is delayed so that some of
the steps in this expansion can be included. I'm hoping that it will
make the manual a much more valuable tool for opening new programs.
Thanks for your prayers. We have our work cut out for us.
A REVIEW of THE PARENTPROJECT
I am very impressed with the ParentProject! William and Martha
Sears, Joyce and Marvin Warman, Melinda Mahand and Richard Shahan did
an excellent job in putting this together. The group activities,
question and answer sections, Parent Journal, encouragement and
scripture cards, devotions, articles and video segments all work
together to encourage parents to be the best they can be and to
develop good tools for building a firm family foundation.
There are six regular sessions and two optional sessions. They
include: Becoming an Expert on Your Child; Comforting Your Baby Day
and Night; Dealing with Discipline; Feeding, Body and Soul; Keeping
Your Baby Healthy; Building a Brighter Baby; Hot Topics (handling
criticism, setting dads up to succeed, working and parenting,
selecting substitute caregivers, and preventing mother burnout); and
Toddler Basics (negativity, picky eaters, sibling rivalry, toilet
training, agressive behaviors, and separation and stranger anxiety).
Activities work with all kinds of learning styles and the
facilitator's guide provides excellent instructions on how to begin,
organizational ideas, promotional strategies and what resources you
will need for each class. Instructions are simple and clear.
Some personal comments:
In the session on Keeping Your Baby Healthy, there is no
information promoting vaccinations. Since this is a topic Titus 2 has
chosen to address in a manner contrary to Dr. Sear's written
position, this was a welcome find. I was prepared to deal with a
differing opinion in the curriculum, but I am thrilled I won't have
to.
Breastfeeding is stressed as the best option. There are several
sessions where it is addressed. There is also information supporting
those who bottlefeed. The benefits of breastfeeding are definately
presented as stronger. Cue feeding is also presented as the the
healthier way to feed your baby. Rules are not rigid and divergent
opinions are discuessed, but no specific program is mentioned by
name.
Dr. Sears makes an interesting comment about needing to teach your
children deal with frustration and not getting what they want. Some
of the biggest criticism to attachment parenting is that parents
don't tell their children NO. He makes it clear that telling your
child No is a definate part of training your child.
I can't find one thing in the whole curriculum that I don't agree
with. I could not have found a more compatible program if I had
written it. It gets five stars in my book and an unreserved
recommendation for those birth professionals looking for an excellent
parenting education program for their church, ministry or personal
service offering.
WORKSHOP NEWS
Last call for the Titus 2 Birthing Labor Support workshop in Ft
Worth Aug. 11 & 12. The registration form is on our web site
(http://www.oocities.org/titus2birthing) as are details about the
workshop.
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an
article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let
us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to
forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to
subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out
arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already
scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Vol 2, #5 - Aug. 19, 2000
One of the things we try to show clients is love. Sometimes that
can be hard when clients aren't lovable due to stressors in their
lives. Sometimes it's hard because they are very draining due to
co-dependent tendencies. As women with servant's hearts, it's not
always easy to decide when the relationship is healthy or toxic.
The following comparison of love and toxic love appeared in the
Sarah's Tent Newsletter some time ago. Becca submitted this to
pastor's wives and women in the ministry as a way to determine when a
relationship might need to be terminated. I think, as birth
professionals, we can find some use from her wisdom.
- LOVE VS TOXIC LOVE by Becca Sue
- Here is a short list of the characteristics of love vs. toxic
love ...
-
- 1. Love - Development of self first priority.
- Toxic love - Obsession with relationship.
-
- 2. Love - Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
- Toxic love - Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of
need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity,
loneliness)
-
- 3. Love - Separate interests; other friends; maintain other
meaningful relationships.
- Toxic love - Total involvement; limited social life;
neglect old friends, interests.
-
- 4. Love - Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure
in own worth.
- Toxic love - Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of
other changing.
-
- 5. Love - Appropriate trust (i.e., trusting partner to
behave according to fundamental nature).
- Toxic love - Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition;
protects "supply,"
-
- 6. Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at
leading. Problem solving together.
- Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or
aggressive manipulation.
-
- 7. Love - Embracing of each other's individuality.
- Toxic love - Trying to change other to own image.
-
- 8. Love - Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
- Toxic love - Relationship is based on delusion and
avoidance of the unpleasant.
-
- 9. Love - Self-care by both partners; emotional state not
dependent on other's mood.
- Toxic love - Expectation that one partner will fix and
rescue the other.
-
- 10. Love - Loving detachment (healthy concern about
partner, while letting go).
- Toxic love - Fusion (being obsessed with each other's
problems and feelings).
-
- 11. Love - Sex is free choice growing out of caring &
friendship.
- Toxic love - Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear
& need for immediate gratification.
-
- 12. Love - Ability to enjoy being alone.
- Toxic love - Unable to endure separation; clinging.
-
- 13. Love - Cycle of comfort and contentment.
- Toxic love - Cycle of pain and despair.
Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any
relationship, but if it is painful most of the time then something is
not working.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship--it is natural
and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that
will last forever--expecting it to last forever is what is
dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim--and cause us to
abandon ourselves in search of our goal.
HANGING OUT IN A CAVE
In I Samuel 22, David and about 400 followers were camping out in
the cave of Adullam. Adullam means the Place of the Squeeze, and
having 400 odd people in a cave would certainly be a squeeze. But if
we look at the men who were with David, we see the Bible
characterizes these men as: those in distress, in debt or
discontented (v. 2).
David and these men were being pursued by Saul who was intent on
killing David. Hanging out with David wasn't inclined to increase the
prospects of these men, when looking at it from the natural, but God
is supernatural and He had anointed David to be king.
David had several options:
1. He could decide he wasn't going to win and things weren't going
to get better, and it was time to give up.
We do that sometimes. We get tired of fighting, tired of getting
beat up, and so we retreat to our cave and look around. Sometimes we
decide that we will stay here a while, so we hang wallpaper, install
new carpet, put up pictures and get comfy with our discomfort and
give up the fight.
But God doesn't mean for us to hang out in a cave and give up the
fight. In Eph 6: 10-18, He outlines our armor and tells us what He
expects from us when difficult times come. One of my favorite
passages during difficult times is found in this passage: "Therefore
put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you
may be able to STAND, and having done ALL to STAND. STAND
therefore... (v. 13-14a) Three times God tells us to STAND, not hide
in a cave.
Caves are okay for a time, but they should not be our final
resting place. We need to catch our breath, get a good night sleep
and put the armor back on and prepare to stand.
2. He could have decided to get out ahead of God and do his own
thing. Instead, he took his family to the king of Moab and left them
there under the king's protection while he sought the Lord.
I can't tell you how many times I have gotten out there ahead of
God and fallen flat! Sometimes I was even following what He had given
me the vision for, but I wasn't waiting for His timing and provision.
When I do that, I may make some headway under my own strength, but it
will never be enough and sooner or later I will fall on my face and
have to admit defeat.
3. He could wait on God's direction before deciding where to go.
And God sent the prophet Gad in v. 5 to tell David where to go. Gad
told David to go to Judah.
Judah means PRAISE. It can be extremely difficult to praise when
things are hard, especially if our companions are also in distress,
discontented and in debt! But praise Him, we must. Praise takes our
eyes off our circumstances and puts them back on God who can and will
deliver us. Praise gives us the heart it takes to go forward when the
way is difficult. Sometimes, praise is enough to win the battle as it
did when the choir and orchestra went out in front of the army and
God delivered them from the enemy without a fight (2 Chron 20:
20-26).
The 400 men who attached themselves to David became David's mighty
men of valor. They found a good commander who sought the Lord when he
had a decision to make. They attached themselves to a man who wasn't
afraid of admitting he made a mistake and took responsibility for his
misdeeds. They didn't give up when the going was hard and find a new
commander, although I am sure their complaints often made David want
to pull out his hair.
As servants of God, we need to attach ourselves to the Commander
in Chief of God's army. We need to seek His wisdom when we have a
decision to make. We need to be willing to admit our sins and take
responsibility for our shortcomings and work to become more like HIm.
We need to be loyal and trustworthy to those God has placed in
authority over us. In due time, we will come forth to sit with the
King in the palace instead of hanging out in a cave.
- HE MAKETH NO MISTAKE
-
- My Father's way may twist and turn,
- My heart may throb and ache;
- But in my soul I'm glad to know
- He maketh no mistake.
-
- My cherished plans may go astray,
- My hopes may fade away;
- But still I'll trust my Lord to lead,
- For He doth know the way.
-
- Though night be dark,
- And it may seem
- That day will never break,
- I'll pin my faith, my all on Him;
- He maketh no mistake.
-
- There's so much now I cannot see,
- My eyesight's far to dim;
- But come what may, I'll simply trust
- And leave it all to Him.
-
- For by and by the mist will lift,
- And plain, it all, He'll make;
- Through all the way,
- Though dark to me, He made not one mistake.
- Author Unknown
YOU ARE IMPORTANT!
The following selection hangs on the wall in our choir room at
church. It serves as a constant reminder that each and every one of
us is important and has a specific function in the Body:
- XVXRYONX MAKXS A DIFFXRXNCX!!
- Somxtimxs I gxt to thinking that what I do doxsn't mattxr. But
whxn I start thinking that way, I rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr.
- Most of thx kxys workxd finx most of thx timx. But onx day,
onx of thx kxys stoppxd working altogxthxr. And that rxally mxssxd
xvxrything up.
- So whxn I'm txmptxd to say: "I'm only onx pxrson. It won't
makx much diffxrxncx if I' thxrx or not," I rxmxmbxr my old
typxwritxr. And I say to mysxlf: "I'm a kxy pxrson and mattxr vxry
much."
- Mort Walt Disnxy World
PARENTPROJECT UPDATE
Several have written to ask what I think of the ParentProject by
the Sears since we actively began teaching a cycle. We have now
completed half of the classes at the jail, and although some of the
activities have had to be adapted due to the constraints of the jail
(no partners, some activities not allowed), we have managed to
complete most things as written.
I continue to be amazed and blessed by how appropriate this
program is. The women have enjoyed the activities and we have had
some wonderful discussions. Attendance continues to be high and most
of those who started with us are completing the course.
I had some concern about the class we did this week on
Feeding-Body and Soul. One focus for this class is on breastfeeding
and taking time for your baby. For some of these moms facing a
significant separation from their babies, breastfeeding is not an
option. I wondered if they would get much out of this class. However,
I shouldn't have worried. We had a good time discussing feeding needs
of babies and older children, what they would do if all their options
were open, and how to recoup time once they are able to go home.
I have been able to consistently expand this material to include
older children's needs so that my older parents can feel like their
needs are being met as well as those who are just starting out. The
material is well-written and the Bible studies are thought-provoking.
I have especially enjoyed the one comparing babies to aliens.
I can't wait to start a class on the outside. I am hoping this
class will benefit many parents who are looking for godly tools.
PRAYER REQUEST
We have hit a small snag in getting the Titus 2 program and the
MINT program run by the Volunteers of American open to local and
state inmates. Please pray that God will smooth the way, provide some
grant money to start moving inmates into the allotted bed, and
provide us direction.
PAYPAL AN OPTION FOR TITUS 2 FEES AND DONATIONS
For those of you what want to pay workshop fees, CBE payments,
book fees and such electronically, payments can now be made through
PayPal. If you want to open a PayPal account of your own, you can get
a $5 bonus just for signing up and Titus 2 gets a $5 bonus.
PayPal, a free service of X.com, lets users send and receive money
by email. Use PayPal.com to pay workshop fees or module payments for
Titus 2 workshops, settle restaurant tabs with colleagues, pay
friends for movie tickets, or buy at an online auction - all with the
click of a mouse! PayPal charges the money to an existing credit card
or bank account. It's faster, safer and easier than mailing a
personal check.
As soon as you sign up, confirm your email address and verify a
bank account, PayPal will automatically send you $5! Signing up is
quick, easy and you can download the money to your bank account at
any time. No strings attached. Click on
this link to sign up and see for yourself:
<https://secure.paypal.x.com/refer/pal=titus2%40flash.net>
After you sign up, you'll get an email to send to friends and
family, and PayPal.com will give you $5 for each friend or family
member who signs up. It's that easy!
WORKSHOP RESCHEDULED
Thanks to those who understood the need to reschedule the August
doula workshop. Things are more under control now and we have set
dates for the workshop as Oct. 20-21. Those who had already
registered and paid their fees will get a free copy of The Christian
Woman and Health Care sent to them in appreciation. For those who had
not yet registered, you can register via email and pay via PayPal if
you get your registration in by the cutoff date of Oct. 15.
Please fill out the following info and email it to:
mailto:Titus2@flash.net and info will be emailed back to you for
PayPal.
- Name:
- Address:
- Phone:
- Previous labor support experience, if any
- Brief Christian testimony
- Email address
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an
article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let
us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to
forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to
subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out
arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already
scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
Vol 2, #6 - Nov. 11, 2000
Favorite Resources
One of the most expensive items childbirth educators and doulas
may purchase are the visual and teaching aids that we use to teach
our clients about normal birth and reproduction. The only thing I
have spent more money on for individual purchase is my midwifery
equipment. Even the stuff I have purchased for my computer was often
less expensive than what some companies charge for teaching aids!
That being said, there are ways to decrease the cost of materials
and lots of things you can make on your own. Much of this issue of
Titus 2 Birth Notes and the next two issues will be dedicated to
providing information on where you can get low cost or free items and
a description of some things you can make on your own. I will also
provide a list of web sites or email addresses for places where I
found much needed resources, supply sources and information.
Johnson and Johnson Pediatric Institute
NOTE: I am in no way employed or compensated by J&J or
First Moments for this information.
Johnson and Johnson is working with First Moments to provide a
quality program for birth professionals called Bonding and Beyond.
Although I have not found use for all of the stuff they have sent me,
I have found some wonderful materials that I do use.
If you join this program, they will send you one or two Bonding
and Beyond packages per month. As new items come out, they send you
at least a sample of the program and allow you to purchase more, but
their prices are very reasonable! Items I have received include
tear-off instruction sheets for parents, magazines, coupons, teaching
guides, samples of J&J baby products, a cool birth poster, a
video (more about that below) and several table tents on the various
kit topics. Topics have included baby baths, infant massage, and the
newest one on breastfeeding. They are planning a new kit on skin care
for January.
You can order a number of the J&J items directly from J&J
for free in small quantities. These include booklets on infant
massage, stages of development in the first year of life, post-partum
care for moms, and other pediatric topics. Orders for up to 5
booklets per item are free. Booklets are between 14 and 24 pages in
length with pictures and well-worded text. Bulk orders are also
possible at 50 for $15.
They also have professional self-study monographs that will allow
you to earn CEU credit. Monograph topics include Touch in Infancy and
Labor, Optimizing Infant Development, Early Emotional Development,
and The Role of Early Experience in Infant Development. Individual
copies of Touch and Infant Development are free. The other two
monographs are 300 page books and cost $15 to order. Birth
professionals in the T2 programs can use these to fulfill the CEU
annual requirements.
There are also several videos offered through this program and
these videos cost $12.50 with shipping. Anyone who has purchased
professional videos knows these are bargain basement prices, but they
are certainly not bargain basement quality!
I have recommended the Clinical Implications of Touch video
before. This 20-minute video talks about the role of doulas in labor,
the benefits of infant massage and bonding, and guidelines for infant
massage. My only complaint with this video is the primate study in
the middle (we always fast-forward through that part because I don't
like to see baby monkeys tortured by depriving them of maternal
contact). It makes an excellent case for the use of doulas and
chronicles the benefits of the doula in a way that makes sense to
parents and professionals. The information about infant massage is
clear and easy enough, especially with the tear-off sheets, that most
parents can feel comfortable about "doing it the right way" and
really try it out. It's cost is such that most of us can purchase a
copy without dipping too deep into the pocket and replacement cost is
low enough that you could probably put a copy in your lending
library. There is a second version of this video that is 15 minutes
and listed as a Parent's Guide to Touch. I don't have that one, but
the promotional information says that its a step-by-step guide to
infant massage and the benefits and meaning of touch. For
professional use, I find the Clinical Implications video the better
buy.
The other video I have been really impressed with is The Amazing
Talents of Your Newborn. This video was done in collaboration with
Marshall Klaus and does an excellent job of introducing parents to
their newborn. When I showed this in class on Tuesday, everyone was
glued to the screen, and although there was a little chatter during
the video, it was all related to what they were seeing. Breastfeeding
is by far the most common feeding technique in this video and
presented in a very positive light. This video is for both
professional use and for parents and caregivers and runs 30 minutes.
I will add that J&J included this video free with the
breastfeeding kit (after, of course, I ordered and paid for it prior
to receiving the kit, so now I have 2 copies)!
The third video option is Early Infant Care. I haven't purchased
that one since I have other resources for this topic, but I feel
reasonably sure that it is of the same quality as the others. Topics
covered in this video are: caring for infant skin, baby's first bath,
and early infant care. J&J may include this video in the skin
care kit, so I will probably not buy this until after that one is
out, if at all.
The other outstanding purchase I made from J&J is their set of
teaching posters. Posters are 18x26, full-color and slick, but not
laminated. The five poster set includes:
- The Miracle of Life - fetal development in the first trimester
- Birth of a Baby - the step-by-step birth process (They
included a copy of this poster in one of the kits!)
- Step-by-Step Cesarean Section - visual account of a surgical
birth
- First Impressions - Physical characteristics of the newborn
including reflexes, movement and Apgar testing
- Breast is Best - easy-to-follow breastfeeding instruction
Cost is $10 for the whole set! The birth poster and the first
impressions poster are awesome! Buy a set or two and have them
laminated for long-term use.
They have two other posters I didn't buy: "Clinical Implications
of Touch Therapy" and "Tactile/Kinesthetic Stimulation Effects on
Pre-Term Neonates". I'm sure these posters are great too, but with
the video and the massage kit already in hand, I decided not to buy
them. These two posters are $2.00 each and can be purchased
individually where the others are only available in a set.
At the end of October, in cooperation with Newsweek, J&J sent
out an edition of Newsweek magazine dedicated entirely to children
birth to age three. This edition is an update of a similar Newsweek
issue from 1997. J&J is the only advertiser in this magazine
issue. There are some very interesting articles in the magazine on
everything from how learning begins to how we raise boys and girls
differently. There is also a sticker on the front of the magazine
advertising a free baby-planning CD-ROM parents can order. (I ordered
the CD-ROM, but don't have it yet.) You can call 1-800-526-3967 to
order copies of the magazine for your clients. When I spoke with them
about this magazine, they told me that had received a more positive
response to this product than any other in the series.
Now, how do you get this stuff? You can call 1-800-645-6306 to
enroll in the First Moments Bonding and Beyond program and get some
of this stuff for free. You can also go to J&J's web site to
download a copy of the order form for the booklets, videos and
posters ( http://www.jjpi.com ) or to get more information. You can't
order on-line however. You can call J&J if you know what you want
to order at 1-877-JNJ-LINK (314-216-3560 for orders outside the US),
fax, or mail them the order form.
Some Other Great Resources
Fisher Price has a free Car Seat Safety video I picked up when I
registered with the Toys R Us Baby Gift Registry. Yu can probably get
one from Babies R Us as well, since they are owned by the same
company. The information is good and there are no advertisements in
the 13-minute video. It talks about choosing a safety seat that fits
your car as well as fitting your baby, how to correctly install the
seat, and what to look for in a good seat.
* * * *
Our local electric company passed out a safety video on
baby-proofing your home. Gerber, Nations Bank (now Bank of America),
Johnson and Johnson, Albertsons, Huggies and Pampers sponsored this
video, along the energy company. The video is about 25 minutes long.
It talks about what products work and what don't, as well as going
from room to room to point out common hazards. The only advertising
is the list of sponsoring groups at the beginning and end of the
video and the use of products made by the sponsoring companies. There
is no real overt advertising segment touting individual products.
Contact your local energy provider first to find a copy. If that
fails, you might try contacting some of the sponsors; especially
Albertsons who periodically sponsors child safety programs.
* * * *
Terri Shilling, current president of Lamaze, has put together a
box of approximately 100+ index cards with ideas for teaching
activities for childbirth classes. Cost is $21.95 + $2.50 s/h. Ideas
are grouped by topics and category. I found some great ideas in the
box. These cards have been out several years and I understand the
stacks continue to grow. You can send her ideas, and if she includes
them in future boxes, you can get a free box. You can order this
resource at: The Idea Box; Terri Shilling; 2 Elk Creek Dr.; Gunnison,
CO 81230
* * * *
Childbirth.org has a page of freebies for birth professionals at
http://www.childbirth.org/articles/free.html There are a wide variety
of items available.
* * * *
- Midwifery Today does a great E-Newsletter published on
Wednesdays. They began this Jan. 1, 1999 and have done over 100
issues. You can subscribe for free and copies of past issues are
on their web site. Information found there is not just for
midwives! And, it's a newsletter that thrives on input from
subscribers in a variety of birth-related fields.
- I have found this resource to be one of the most helpful in
doing research for my midwifery and childbirth education projects.
I have many textbooks and reference manuals, but I like to know
what experience has taught others. I can find that information in
these newsletters and on professional lists like those at
fensende.
- I have condensed my copies down by removing advertisements,
questions with no answers, lists for future issues, reprint and
subscription information and other extraneous items not necessary
to my needs. The combined condensed issues print out at almost 140
pages of great information. I also have a topic index for all of
the issues, including both the listed main topic and topics found
in answers and responses to past issues. I've made my copies
available to local midwives for cost of copying or they can
download any back issues they don't have and get a copy of my
topic list. Let me know if you are interested in getting a copy of
either the topic list or the condensed issues.
* * * *
- Ebay.com is a great place to find lots of things. I have
bought books, supplies, computer software and hardware, clothes,
and even a copier I hope will arrive this week. You may not need a
doppler, fetoscope, or O2 tanks, but I can tell you I found some
great prices on these items. You may be more inclined to buy
books, videos, breast models, mom with unborn baby key chain, or
other teaching aid. I know quite a number of members of various
birth-related lists who have sold items from their practices on
Ebay.
- I have also found nursing and maternity clothing in larger
sizes at reasonable prices for myself and for clients who were
having a difficult time finding their size at affordable prices. I
have seen sizes up to 5X and 6X and sent several clients to ebay
to find clothing to fit.
* * * *
- Half.com is an Ebay company that deals in books, videos,
CD-ROMs, DVDs, games, and such at not less than half price. I have
found hard-to-find books at Half.com at very reasonable prices.
I've only had one bad experience, but it was resolved by Half.com.
- In searching for a book or other item, if Half.com doesn't
have it in stock, they will search for it for you. They may also
send you to look at Ebay. You can also put together a list of
wanted items and they will notify you if and when one becomes
available.
- You can choose the best price available for the required item
condition. For example, you can choose a good quality book for 60%
off or a lesser quality book for 75%. You choose how close to new
you want the condition. You may also have several sellers to
choose from so that you can choose the seller with the best
rating.
- Unlike Ebay, at Half.com, the prices are set and you can buy
your in-stock item on the spot. You can also sell your unwanted
books, videos, etc. through Half.com and price it at a set rate.
Half.com will give you a set allowance for shipping.
- I've bought several items off Half.com, but I have yet to sell
anything there. I have been generally satisfied with my
transactions there. Purchased items include: Medications and
Mother's Milk 1998; PDR for Herbs; several Kitzinger books, and
Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul. I hope to find a
copy of Guide to Effective Care there.
* * * *
- On the Titus 2 web site, you can find the Informed Refusal
form for vaccines. This information provides the possible side
effects of each vaccine, which vaccines use aborted babies in the
manufacturing process, and the possible consequences of
contracting the disease. This form has been downloaded thousands
of times by concerned parents and passed out by a large number of
birth professionals and other health care professionals. I am
constantly amazed at how many hits this one page gets and how many
people still contact me about this document.
- This form is included in my booklet The Christian Woman and
Health Care: Sensible Choices for Her and Her Family. The booklet
was put together as a handout for a workshop I did locally. There
is lots more information besides that, not only on vaccines, but
also information on birth control, informed decision-making and
alternative medicine philosophies. You can purchase the booklet by
contacting me. Cost is $15 with postage. Discounts are available
for multiple copy orders.
As you can see, there are lots of resources to help you be a good
steward with your financial resources. Our next issue will include
more resources as well as teaching aids you can make. I hope this
information helps you be the best birth professional you can be.
Titus 2 Workshop Calendar
Labor Support Workshops for 2001 - Registrations
forms are available via on-line.
Feb. 23-24 in Boonville, MO Site: First Baptist Church in
Boonville. Participants flying in may arrive via Kansas City, St.
Louis, or take a commuter flight to Columbia. Sara Gerling is the
contact and she can be reached at 1-573-556-1087 or 1-660-882-2934 or
mailto:sdoulagerling79@hotmail.com Cost for this workshop is $200 and
includes lunch both days. She is currently working on arrangements to
have participants hosted with area families.
Mar. 22-23 in Fort Worth, TX. Registrants may contact me direct to
register. There is a $25 discount for registrations received prior to
Mar. 1 and fees may be paid through PayPal. This workshop is a
weekday workshop (Thurs & Fri) as opposed to a weekend offering!
Cost is $150 and does not include lunch for either day.
April 30 is a prospective date for the shorter one-day labor
support workshop for those who are already certified by another
organization and want Christian certification. If you are interested,
let me know. We will need at least 4 registrants to register for this
workshop to make. This workshop will be in Fort Worth. Cost is $75
and registrations should be in by April 10.
Other dates may be added at a later date.
Childbirth Education Intensive, 2001 is scheduled
for June 27-30 in Forth Worth. Registrants must have completed and
turned in at least 5 module worksheets and all registration
paperwork.
Order Your Titus 2 Materials by Email and Pay the Same Way
Educators can order T2 CBE workbooks by email and pay from them
through PayPal. Just send an email with the quantity desired, mailing
address, and when you need to receive them. Workbooks are $20 each.
You can also order The Christian Woman and Health Care books via
email and pay the same way. Books are $15 each and include shipping
and handling.
All workshop fees, CBE program payments, and membership dues can
be made via PayPal. If you have questions, let me know and I'll be
glad to help you get set-up.
AND FINALLY:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an
article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let
us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to
forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to
subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out
arrangements. If you need additional information about a workshop
already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you
need.
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Titus 2 Birth Notes 1999
Titus 2 Birth Notes 2001