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How To...
name all those kisses. Taken from Wisely's Love Page.
Kiss Glossary
1) The Vacuum Kiss :
Recommended in the 1936 manual The Art of Kissing, the Vacuum Kiss
is performed by "sucking inward as though you were trying to draw out the
innards of an orange." The powerful suction on the lips requires that the
kiss must be brief. Be advised that when the lips have wearied, they should
not be torn suddenly apart, or a loud smack will startle others nearby.
Instead, gently loosen a corner of the mouth to release a faint hissing.
If the kiss has been performed correctly, the manual notes, "a delicious
sense of torpor will creep over your entire body, giving a lassitude that
is almost beatific."
2) The Butterfly Flutter :
Place your eye within a breath of your partner's cheek. Open and close
your eyelids against her skin. If this is done correctly, the flutter sensation
on her cheek should match the one in her heart.
3) The Earlobe Lap :
You will do well to experiment with little sips of the lobe, but great
control is recommended to avoid loud slurping--the erogenous ear is also
an especially sensitized noise detectors. (Take care not to swallow any
earrings.)
4) The Talking Kiss :
Sweet nothings whispered into the mouth are sweeter than those whispered
into the ear, because the mouth is the preferred organ for tasting. If
caught in the act, simply say, as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I
was whispering into her mouth."
5) The Spying Kiss :
To determine whether you mate has drunk an overabundance of wine.
6) The Hand Kiss :
Historically, the Hand Kiss, with its required bow of subordination,
showed deference to a lady. If a male was too superior to lower himself,
he simply raised the woman's hand to his mouth. Since the Hand Kiss had
now fallen out of fashion, it makes an unexpected romantic impression.
To perform it correctly, lower your eyes and cup shoulders over the lady's
fingers, prolonging the moment when your lips rest on her hand. You will
know the kiss has made its mark if the receiver avoids washing for several
days to make sure the warm sensation stays sealed where your lips have
placed it.
7) The Bumper Kiss :
Effective when following your lover in a separate car. Wait till he
stops his vehicle at a traffic light, then gently ease your car up to his
and nudge his bumper. The jolt will jump-start his heart and suggest more
intimate nuzzlings to come. (Warning: Do not use the Bumper Kiss on the
vehicle of an unknown driver.)
8) The Surprise Kiss :
This kiss takes place inadvertently during a parlor game called "Suck
and Blow." To begin, gather men and women in a circle and try passing a
playing card from mouth to mouth by first inhaling to receive the card
and then exhaling to pass the card to the person. If the pass is successful,
you will be left feeling pleasantly light headed. I the pass is unsuccessful,
the card will slip, leaving your lips pressed to those of your unsuspecting
neighbor. (To cheat at this game, simply position yourself beside someone
you would like to kiss and pretend you're having trouble mastering the
technique.)
9) The Blown Kiss :
In the book Is Sex Necessary? James Thurber and E.B. White contend
that many men "would be perfectly willing to express their eroticism if
it could be done at a reasonable distance--say fifty paces." For such frigid
types, kissing, of course, presents a problem. They will find the Blown
Kiss to be the most satisfactory.
10) The Mistletoe Kiss :
Useful for those to shy to make the leap toward a potential lover's
lips without a visible excuse.
11) The Forehead Kiss :
Zoologist Desmond Morris claims that the Forehead Kiss is seen as mock-parental
since a mother or father will often comfort a child with a kiss to the
crown of head.
12) The Eskimo Kiss :
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo Kiss is not done merely to keep
the lips from freezing together. In fact, some tribes in hot African countries
rub or press noses in greeting and use a word for "kiss" that means "smell."
In Malaysia, Charles Darwin reported the following: "The woman squatted
with their faces upturned; my attendants stood leaning over them, laid
the bridge of their noses at right angles over theirs, and commenced rubbing.
It lasted somewhat longer than a hearty handshake with us. During this
process they uttered a grunt of satisfaction."
13) The Hickey Kiss :
It may take some practice to create a personalized hickey in the shape
of, say, your favorite sailing ship. No need to get fancy. The main objective
is simply to avoid drawing blood while leaving your mark that will prove
to your sweetheart (and all her girlfriends) that last night's interlude
was not a dream.
14) The Electric Kiss :
Choose a partner. Turn the lights low. Shuffle wildly across the carpet
until you've neared your partner in a sufficiently charged state. Lean
slowly toward him, so that your lips are the first body parts to touch.
Sparks will fly in the darkness. Avoid the natural inclination to pull
away. After becoming accustomed to the shock, you may be inclined to increase
the voltage with a battery-powered device or an electric socket. Resist
the Temptation.
15) The French Kiss :
Some call this "The Soul Kiss," because the life and soul are thought
to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly,
the French call this "The English Kiss."
16) The Aunt Sally Special :
A hearty smack to the cheek, done with puckered, slobbery, lipsticked
lips. The female kisser should employ the Aunt Sally Special when a sobering
note is needed during an escalating affair. If done right, this smooch
will cause your partner to stop and wipe the spit of his cheek, which,
in turn, will allow you to fix your hair and adjust your skirt. After a
calming rest period, relations may resume.
17) The Foot Kiss :
People with ticklish feet will find the Foot Kiss quite funny, but
just relax and enjoy it. Afterward, and extra touch of romance can be added
by sending a little note signed "QBSP" (Quien besa su pie--"Who kisses
your feet"), which once was the fashionable line with which to close correspondence
in Spain.
18) The Nip Kiss :
"Naturally, in the nip kiss the kisser is not supposed to open his
mouth like the maw of a lion and then sink his fangs into the delicate
flesh of the kissee," we are told in The Art of Kissing. "The procedure
is the same as the ordinary kiss except that, instead of closing your lips
with the kiss, you leave them slightly open, as though you were going to
nibble on a delicious tidbit."
19) The Marathon Make-Out Kiss :
In the words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, it is "as long and silent
as the ecstatic might."
20) The Last Kiss :
In ancient Rome, custom had it that the Last Kiss would capture the
soul of a dying man and keep it alive in the lips of his lover.
From : The
Book of Love by
Christine Schultz
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