INDIANA
- Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
- In Gary, it is illegal to attend the theater within four hours of eating garlic.

IOWA
- State law forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed piano
  player.
- In Fort Madison, firemen are required to practice for 15 minutes before attending a fire.

KANSAS
- It is illegal for restaurants to sell cherry pie a la mode on Sundays.
- In Wichita, a man's mistreatment of his mother-inlaw may not be used as grounds
  for divorce.
- In Wichita, it is illegal to carry concealed bean snapper.
- In Lang, it is illegal to ride a mule down Main Street in August, unless the animal is
  wearing a straw hat.
- In Natoma, it is illegal to throw a knife at anyone wearing a striped shirt.

KENTUCKY
- It is illegal for a woman to appear in bathing suit on a highway unless she is: escorted by at 
  least two police officers; armed with a club; or lighter than 90 pounds or heavier than
  200 pounds. The ordinance also specifically exempts female horses from such restrictions.
- State law stipulates that a person is considered sober until he or she "cannot hold onto the
  ground."
- It is illegal to remarry the same man four times.

LOUSIANA
- In New Orleans, fire trucks are required by law to stop at all red lights.
- It is considered "simple assault" to bite someone in New Orleans; it is "aggravated assault"
  if the biter has false teeth.
- It is against the law to gargle in public.

MAINE
- In Portland, it is illegal for men to ticle women under the chin with feather dusters.
- The most money on can legally win gambling is three dollars.
- In Rumford, it is illegal for a tenant to bite his/her landlord.
- In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.

MARYLAND
- In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.
- In Halethorpe, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.
- It's illegal to mistreat oysters.
- It's illegal to play Randy Neman's "Short People" on the radio.

MASSACHUSETTS
- In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.
- It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
- North Andover prohibits its citizens from carrying "space guns."
- State legislation forbids dueling with water pistols.
- In Boston it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered by a physician to do so.
- In 1659, the state outlawed Christmas.

MICHIGAN
- In Clawson, it is legal for a farmer to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and
  chickens."
- A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.
- In Detroit, it is illegal to make love in a car unless it is parked on your property.
- In Detroit, it is illegal to "ogle" a woman from a moving car.
- In Port Huron, the speed limit for ambulances is 20 m.p.h.
- Under state law, dentists are offically classified as "mechanies."

MINNESOTA
- Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
- In Minneapolis, double-parkers can be put on a chain gang.
- Every man in Brainerd is required by law to grow a beard.
- It is illegal to tease skunks.

MISSISSIPPI
- It is still legal to kill one's "servant."
- In Truro, a woul-be groom must "prove himself manly" prior to marriage by hunting and
  killing either six blackbirds or three crows.

MISSOURI
- In Saco, women are forbidden from wearing hats that "might frighten timid persons,
  children or animals."
- In St. Louis, it is illegal for an on-duty firefighter to rescue a woman wearing a nightgown;
  in order to be rescued, a woman must be fully dressed.
- While children may purchase shotguns in Kansas City, they are not allowed to buy toy cap
  guns.
- Missouri considers drunkenness an "inalienable right."



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