Part 7
[Jay? Jay, can you hear me?]
You don't know where you are. You don't know how much time has passed.
[Jay?]
Memory crashes in on you. Your decision to go on despite your weariness. Stephen's accident. Mike didn't come back to the Earth quarters and after half an hour of trying to talk to you and urge you to eat, Carol jaunted out mid-sentence.
[Jay?]
You don't know what happened after that. All you can remember thinking was that this was all your fault. That Stephen was badly hurt, maybe dying, and it was all because of you. Something inside you seems to shut down at that thought and the voice that's calling you fades into the distance.
[JAY! Listen to me, young man!]
The voice is suddenly back, speaking loudly and authoritatively.
[What do you want!] You snap back before thinking about it and only then do you realise how persistent the voice has been. And how strangely familiar it is. The voice is deep and soothing and, you realise, it sounds a lot like TIM. Something about it tells you that's not quite right though. There's a different feel to this mind. Just as TIM feels different to the Tomorrow People, so this voice is distinct again. Somehow ... alien?
[I 'want' you to accept that this is not your fault. I want you to put aside your guilt and self-loathing.]
[But it was *my* fault.] You cry out into the silence and darkness. [I should have stopped long before the accident.]
[And you don't think Stephen should have noticed that you were tired, with him such an experienced telepath? And you don't think that he should have known better than to allow a novice to fiddle with a piece of alien equipment?] The questions are asked softly but you can feel the amusement in them undermining your guilt and self pity.
[Stephen...?] You don't dare ask the question.
[Will recover.] The answer is instantaneous and reassuring. [In fact, he is already awake although weak and needing to rebuild his strength. It is now you that concerns your friends.]
[Me ... me? But I ... I almost killed Stephen!]
[But you did not.] The voice tells you firmly and you can feel some of the weight lifting from you as he says it. [And you, dear boy, are highly valued by your friends. They fear that you are killing yourself with this guilt. Would you burden Stephen and the others with that?]
[Who are you? Where am I?] You ask uncertainly.
[Timus Irnok Mosta, at your service. As Ambassador to the Emergent Worlds your friends appealed to me for aid when none of them could reach you. You are lost in your own mind, young Jay. You are letting your emotions overwhelm you.]
You send your agreement uncertainly. You've heard the others mention this Timus but you always believed he was a very important person. The fact that the others felt the need to call him surprises and alarms you.
[Mike and Carol really don't blame me?]
[Of course not, dear boy! And nor do John or Stephen himself! You are a Tomorrow Person, young Jay.] He says it as if it explains everything and, you realise, in a way it does.
[I was an idiot and Stephen was hurt because of me.] You retreat to the single fact you're sure of.
[You were foolish.] Timus agrees gravely. [But you have learned now that you must be cautious. All children must learn and all of the Tomorrow People are children still. Stephen's mistakes were as grave as yours, Jay, if not more so and he accepts that and will learn from them. Do you have the courage to do the same?]
You hesitate and you can almost see the raised eyebrow on the distinguished face you've never seen.
[What must I do?] You ask eventually.
[Your mind is closed in on itself, Jay. So closed that not even John can contact you. You must release your mind, young Jay, relax the barriers as if you were breaking out once again.]
The imagery of your breakout returns to you with a power that leaves you gasping. The ocean of your anger, guilt and fear rises around you and engulfs you. You let it sweep over you, washing your pain away, taking your guilt with it. The accident was your fault, yes, but you must face up to that error and do what you can to rectify it. Your contact with Timus is washed away by the tide but you feel other minds reaching for yours now and you accept the contacts.
[Stephen, I'm sorry!] It's the first thing you say as your mind meets that of the older telepath. Stephen feels weak in your thoughts but his mind floods with relief as it touches yours. [I'm so sorry!]
[Jay, it was my fault. I should never have done that to you. Please, forgive me!]
[You're both alright.] That's John's firm, highly trained mind brushing yours. He sounds quietly relieved too. [That's all that's important!]
[Welcome back, Jay!] Carol's high-pitched voice is thrilled. [We've been so worried!]
[Yeah,] Mike agrees. [Once we knew this old man was going to be fine we realised we'd neglected you.] He gives Stephen a teasing mental nudge but his thoughts towards you are apologetic. [I'm sorry, too, Jay.]
You are quite staggered and overwhelmed by their regret. More than anything Timus could have said it convinces you that you are one of this group and truly cared for. You let yourself be washed in their love and drawn back towards the light of consciousness.
You wake to find yourself in your room on the Trig. At the foot of your bed stands a man in middle years, his thinning hair combed back from a distinguished face. He looks down at you as you squint against the light in the room and although his expression is stern it softens as he looks down on you. He watches as you struggle into a sitting position on your bed and offers you a hand. You shake hands formally and bow to one another in the small gesture Stephen and the others use. Somehow with this distinguished man it just seems the right thing to do.
In the common room outside you can feel the others waiting for you and Timus gestures for you to leave your bed room in front of him. You do so nervously, startled at the shaky feeling in your legs. Carol engulfs you in a hug as you enter the common room and the slim blond telepath holds you tightly enough for you to feel her relief. The men are less physically demonstrative but you can see they feel the same. John and Mike come to the door of your room to greet you while Stephen, pale and clearly shaky but equally clearly on the road to recovery, waves from where he's sitting on the toroidal sofa.
You look up at John in some confusion. You felt his mental contact but you hadn't realised he was so close.
"What are you doing here?" You ask in a voice surprisingly hoarse with disuse.
He smiles a worried smile.
"Didn't you think I'd come?" He asks quietly.
"I was an idiot." You say seriously, looking from face to face, "But I want to learn. I want to learn how to be a real Tomorrow Person." You look down, away from their eyes. "If you'll teach me."
No one answers you but none of them need to. Their joy at your acceptance of who and what you are is all the answer you need.
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