| Trip to Mykayla |
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| May 27, 2000 As I begin my journey to find my daughter my emotions are running very high. I am emotional all of the time and cry at the drop of a hat. I have been reading so many adoption stories on the web and on APC. They are all so touching and as they share this most intimate moment of finding their daughter (or son) I weep tears of joy with them. It is difficult for me to put myself in their place. Will I experience this joy as well? Will I be given this wonderful gift of a daughter to love and raise? And will I be worthy of it? It is beginning to become real for me at last, just this hope and dream that it may actually happen for me. Up until now, it has seemed that this most wonderful part of life would not be for me. May 30, 2000 I have begun to tell everyone about my plans and everyone has been so excited for me. I haven’t had any negative reactions. I have had lots of questions about “why china”, but I expected that. I started by telling my principals since I would need to use them as references. Once I told them, it was like it really dawned on me that this is really going to happen. It made me so joyful in my heart to realize that. I guess it has still felt like a secret wish of “maybe someday” until I began to tell people other than my family. Well, I have been telling just about everyone I meet since then. I sent my application to GWCA on my birthday (May 25), so I should be hearing back from them hopefully this week. I can’t wait to get my hands on that adoption manual and start planning my summer of paperchasing. June 2, 2000 I got so excited today when I went to the mailbox and there was a letter from GWCA! They have approved my application and assigned me a caseworker. I quickly wrote out the check and signed the contract. As soon as I finish this, I will go and make copies and get it in the mail back to them. I also received the birth certificates from Bureau of Vital Statistics. I was expecting something that looked just like my copy of my birth certificate, but this is a very official looking document (thick paper) which is just the information from my birth and some kind of seal. I got three copies. I know I need one for the I600 and one to send off for my passport. And I guess one for ‘just in case’. I am also sending off today for the two videos I saw on the McLean’s website. I stayed up way too late last night on the internet. All of these adoption stories have just got me hooked! I get so caught up in them and then I’m just crying and crying. I also finished the book “Lost Daughters of China”. It was so good. It gave me a much better understanding of what has happened (and is still happening) in China and much more respect for the women and what they are going through. If the timelines hold out, my daughter’s birth mother is pregnant right now. I keep thinking about her and wondering. What is her situation? Does she know she is having a daughter? I feel a connection with her, this woman on the other side of the world. I hope she is safe and healthy. I have begun to pray for her at night when I go to bed. Right now I am liking the name Kristin. My cousin has a little girl with that name but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. My mom told me today she likes the name Mikayla. I think that would sound good with many of the Chinese names I have seen on the web. June 11, 2000 Well, quite a lot has happened in just 9 days. I started my summer classes and signed up for graduation. I will be graduating on Aug. 12 with my Master’s of Library Science. I didn’t think I was ever going to get this done, but it is finally here. I’m glad I’m finishing up before the baby comes, because I’m sure I wouldn’t have gotten it done afterwards! When the mailman drove up to the mailbox I could see he had a big envelope. I ran for my shoes and ran to the box and it was my packet from GWCA with the adoption manual AND the packet from the INS with all of the forms! When it rains it pours. I spent most of the afternoon reading and rereading the manual. There are lots of details but the manual makes everything very clear and simple. I think it will be just a matter of checking off each thing as you get it done. I just hope I can get it all done this summer. I’m dreaming of an August DTC. That would mean referral around April and travel in June (if the current timelines continue). This weekend we had a garage sale. I have been trying to get what will be the baby’s room cleaned out. I bought a different desk for my computer stuff and put it in my bedroom. I’m giving my mom the big desk I had in that room. She really needs it. Moving the filing cabinet into my bedroom also. It’s getting crowded in here, but that’s ok. We’re going to try to give the bed in the spare room away. That will just leave a couple of shelves that we are going to paint. I can’t believe I actually get to plan a nursery. Sherry thinks I should use all of my bear collection to decorate it with. I think I would like to pack all of that stuff away (I have been looking at it for years!), and paint the walls and have something completely new. In a few years when it is time to redecorate her room, I may drag all of my stuff out and decorate it with bears. Sherry gave me a check this weekend. That completes the adoption funds. Mom is planning on giving me some as well, but don’t know the amount yet. Whatever that turns out to be I will just pay down the loan by that amount. I am so lucky to have a family that is so supportive and helpful. I could not do this without them. The really good news is that Sherry is talking more about taking a fear of flying class. Phrases like “When WE are in China” are slipping into our conversation. I hope so much that she will be able to go with me. I know people go alone, and I could do it, but the thought of it really scares me. Not so much the traveling, but I think I really need the emotional support. Crying moment of the week—last night when Sherry and Mark came over he handed me a bag and said he had bought me some new shoes. No surprise, he’s always buying something. I opened the bag and the box was really little. He had bought little baby Nike tennis shoes that are white with pink Nike stripe. So cute!!! I cried and gave him a big hug. Name news—still liking the name Mykayla. I did some looking on the internet of names and didn’t find much. Apparently it’s not a very common name. With this spelling she would have two repeated letters when learning to write her name, but wonder if people would pronounce it My-Kayla. Tuesday, June 13, 2000 My nephew, Mason, came home with me on Sunday from my parents’ house. He is leaving today. His dad is coming to pick him up about noon. I think he is getting tired of hearing about all of this adoption stuff. He has started to roll his eyes when it comes up in conversation. Sometimes he talks about his Chinese cousin but mostly he does not like to talk about it at this point. Lots going on this week, I called and got the address for the INS office. I will go through the Dallas office. Yesterday, I called GWCA to find out what social worker I was assigned. I called her this morning. She seems very nice. I expected her to be rushed (stereotype, I know) and not have time to talk with me, but we spent about half an hour on the phone. She was very easy to talk to. She told me the best way to send in the I600A is to fedex it to the INS office and add an attention line for “orphan officer”. Otherwise it can get bogged down in their regular mail for a long time. I’m so glad I called her before I mailed that form. She said the first step is for me to complete the autobiography packet and mail it to her. Then she will call to set up a visitation. I do not have to go to any kind of class. She will send me flyers on some optional classes held through GWCA and some she knows about in Dallas and she will make recommendations for reading, but nothing is mandatory. She said not to worry with babyproofing or any of that. When she visits, it will be to just check my house for safety issues mainly and she will make recommendations based on that. Once that is done and I have all the other forms turned in to her, she will write up the report. She will be gone on vacation for 2 weeks in July. She also said we might make one other appointment to meet when I’m over in Denton, just to finalize everything. This morning I went to the post office and got the application for the passport. I have to go get the photo for that and take one of the certificates of birth and go to the down town post office to get that done. June 20, 2000 What a busy summer. Everyday there is a list of things to do. Yesterday, I went and made copies of the completed autobiography packet. I also went by the police station and picked up my clearance sheet. It was supposed to be ready on Friday but when I went to pick it up, I noticed there was just a stamp at the bottom of the notary. The girl, Annette, said it was supposed to be a certified copy. I’m not quite sure what that means, but when I went back yesterday to pick it up the only thing different was the raised seal of the notary. Also, yesterday, I went to the back to get a money order for the passport application and while I was there I tried to get 2 forms (single status and financial form) notarized. Well, I didn’t know you have to include the little blurb at the bottom of the form that the notary fills in. Boy, I’m learning a lot! I’m redoing them and taking them back today. I have started getting quilt squares in the mail every few days. I joined a list on the APC for a “100 Good Wishes Quilt”. This is so exciting. When I got the first batch about a week or so ago, my mom was over here. I hadn’t told her anything about the quilt project, so I was trying to explain it to her along with blubbering away. So far, I have received about 20 squares from lots of different states and one from Canada. I finally chose my own fabric. It is a white background covered with Texas flags and bluebonnets. Not very babyish, but I thought it would be neat for people to get since there aren’t many Texans on the list. All of the squares I have received have been beautiful, very different, and none babyish so far. It will definitely be a multicolored patchwork quilt. Today’s “to do” list includes getting the packet mailed to the social worker, getting the two forms notarized, calling around to find a doctor for the physical, and doing homework for my graduate class. Since the last thing I need is the physical and I can’t get an appt. with the doctor I want until late August, I am just going to start calling doctors that are on my health plan until I find one that can get me in soon. Once I get the physical form filled out I will be ready to send the first batch of documents off to be certified! Things are looking pretty good. If we can just get the homestudy completed in a timely manner. I called her yesterday and she said once she receives my packet, we could probably make the first visit around the first of July. She is also going on vacation for 2 weeks in July, which will slow us down some. Hey, I guess the woman deserves a vacation! |