| Why Adoption? I have thought about adoption for many years. I have talked about it to friends and family over the years as something I would like to do “in the future”. Well, this past year my future finally arrived. It has finally felt like the right time to proceed. All of the questions you may have running through your head: “Aren’t you going to be too old a mother?” “Is it fair to raise a child without a father?” “Why not adopt an American child in need of a home.” All of these questions and concerns have been given much thought, prayer and research. This is the right decision for me and for my future family. Why China? I have had to answer this question many times since announcing my decision to adopt. This includes having to answer to china itself in my official letter of request. I spent several months doing research on all types of adoption. What I learned is that there are children in need of families all over the world. It’s true that adopting here in America would probably have taken much longer, and that did impact my decision, but it’s not really why I chose China. There are also countries where the adoption would have taken much less time than China. I only know that in studying the many cultures and countries that had children in need of families, I was drawn again and again to China. Learning Through The Internet: I did much of my research on adoption through the Internet, along with reading books and speaking to people who have adopted. Through the Internet I have an e-mail connection to many other couples and singles who have either completed a China adoption or are in process. Most are in the US, but there are also many from around the world. I started out on one email group called APC, which is the largest group. It is made up of about 6,000 other parents that have either adopted from China or are in the process. On a daily basis I receive several “digests”, each containing a package of e-mail messages sent by these people to the entire group. The messages contain information ranging from worthless to priceless. I have also joined a group with my adoption agency, one for people whose paperwork was accepted in September, and the latest – Trip_to_Mykayla- which I started myself to keep us all connected when Sherry and I make our trip to China. These groups are like an electronic family. People express their hopes and fears, questions, complaints, some squabble, some use up the bandwidth with stupid jokes, and many just “lurk” in silence. Most importantly, breaking news on the China adoption front usually hits these e-mail lists first. The best times are when referrals start coming in and people post the information about their referrals and those of us waiting pour over this information because we know our time is coming. It also helps to read people’s travel tips, packing lists, and baby-care advice. Especially by hearing the stories of those who have recently made the trip and being able to play question-answer, I’ve been able to learn so much to help me prepare for the trip and for caring for a child that has been in an orphanage. One Child Policy: China has a one-child policy for population control. It is helpful to know that in the early 60’s Chairman Mao mandated a program called “The Great Leap Forward,” in which private land ownership was rescinded, much of the population was moved into collective farming and at the same time the people were encouraged to have children in order to “make China strong.” The result was a disaster of monumental proportions. While the population was growing, the absence of individual incentive on the farm as well as a bungling bureaucracy governed by fear, led to widespread crop failures and famine in which over 20 million people starved to death. In a country roughly the size of the US, China now has about 1.3 billion people, more than ¼ of the world’s population, and uncontrolled population growth would quickly make the nation unable to feed itself. They have therefore enacted measures, which, at an individual level, are harsh in the extreme to limit childbirth. China has had in place for some time a one-child policy, and a couple must apply to a government social worker and receive an authorized schedule of when it is “their turn” to try for pregnancy. The penalties for having unauthorized children are severe if discovered including monetary fines, loss of one’s position, potential imprisonment, social ostracism, etc. Cultural Preference for Boys: There is a Chinese cultural preference for boys for a couple of reasons. First, the Chinese firstborn male child is expected by tradition, and in some cases required by law, to care for his parents; this is their “social security.” A daughter, by contrast, will marry and live with her husband where she will be expected to care for his parents. Second, only the son may perform ceremonies to uphold the traditions of their ancestors and carry on the family name; failure to do so is considered a betrayal of ancestors, a belief as strong as anyone’s religion. The cultural preference for boys has been enhanced by the one-child policy, despite the government’s discouragement of male preference. It is only speculation because the issue does not lend itself to investigation but it seems that baby girls are abandoned if firstborn in order to try again for a son, since they can have only one child. Girls are abandoned if second born because it is an illegal birth. Abandonment of Baby Girls: Even though it is illegal to give birth to a second child in China, after the illegal birth it is then against Chinese law to abandon the child. This is a Catch-22 for the birthparents, who must anonymously give up the child, before being found out, to someone who can care for her. Baby girls are typically left by their birthmothers in conspicuous public places where they will surely be found and cared for, i.e. on the steps of a police station, at a busy market, or at the gate of an orphanage, etc. Such placement is a considerable risk to the birthmother, especially when she watches from a hiding place to make sure the child is promptly found. It is not unusual for the birthmother to “mark” the child, using special plant juices which make a permanent mark on the skin or even a small burn; such marks are considered to be a reminder to all, and especially to the child when she grows older, that the birthmother loved the child, and wanted to keep her but simply could not. The Adoption Process There are three major steps in the initial adoption process: · File an application with the Immigration and Naturalization Service to bring a foreign adopted child into the US, · Complete the “home study” where a social services agency examines me to determine my worthiness as a parent, and · Gather, prepare, certify, notarize and authenticate a small mountain of documents. Oh, yeah the fourth major step is: WAITING!!! I spent the summer running around getting all of the paperwork done and also finishing up my master’s degree. I sent my dossier of documents to my agency in Austin, Great Wall China Adoption (GWCA), in the middle of September. After they checked it over, it was sent to China to the CCAA (Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs). I have an official “login” date of September 21, 2000. Now I am in the waiting phase. I am hoping to get the official call sometime this summer. The big question, of course, is WHEN will the call happen. With China adoptions, the process is pretty standard and I have a set place in line. My agency will be able to tell me when it begins to get closer and “my turn” looks close. Right now they are predicting referral in July and travel in August or September. I will receive this “referral” consisting of a photo of the child China has matched with me along with a medical report. Once I accept the referral, I can expect to travel to China about 5 – 6 weeks later to complete the adoption process and bring my daughter home. Orphanage Conditions: Orphanage conditions are reasonably good and improving. Reports from hundreds of couples who have adopted in China indicate, with a very few exceptions that, while the orphanages are under-staffed and under-resourced, the orphanage director and nurses (called nannies) care strongly for the kids and give them the best care they can. Tears upon turning over the kids to adoptive parents are common because of the attachments they have developed. Furthermore, the health of the kids is predominately good. They are typically between 9 and 18 months old at adoption. While they may be slightly underfed and somewhat developmentally delayed, since they don’t receive a lot of individual attention in an orphanage, all reports are that they catch up (and fatten up) quickly. The travel stories of 10 years ago tell of much worse conditions and many malnourished and sickly children. This is one area where you can see a direct influence that the monetary donation given by adoptive parents has made a difference. The referral pictures and travel stories now show much healthier babies and much better conditions in the orphanages. We still have to keep in mind the overall lower standard of living in China. Also, there are many orphanages in china that are not allowed to participate in the international adoptions and so the plight of these children is still grim. Our Trip: When we travel, the trip will be about two weeks start-to-finish. We’ll travel in a group assembled by GWCA and the typical schedule is to travel first to Beijing for a day or two of typical tourist stuff, then travel to whatever province the orphanage is in. Sometimes groups travel to the orphanage itself to receive their child; other times the orphanage director and some of the “nannies” bring the child to your hotel. You typically stay in their provincial city where the adoption paper-work is processed. Getting the child on the front end in China is a good thing, since taking the child through the adoption process with us provides for the beginning of the bonding process prior to the trip home. After about a week in the orphanage province, we then travel to Guangzhou (formerly Canton) in southern China, just north of Hong Kong. The U.S. Consulate is in this city. Here the child goes through picture taking, a perfunctory physical exam, completion of the child’s passport and application for the child’s visa into the U.S. Upon receipt of the visa and the child’s passport, we return home. According to a new law passed this year, Mykayla will become a U.S. citizen when we step foot on U.S. soil. ********************************************************************** Thanks for your interest and support. I am so excited about meeting my daughter in China. I love to talk about the adoption so please feel free to ask me any questions. |
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| I’m Adopting from China! (or How I Spent my Summer Vacation) |
| Terri (soon to be Mom to Mykayla) May 2001 |
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