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The End Beverly sat down on the bed. He was gone. Jean-Luc Picard was dead. But to Beverly, he was still there. She didn’t believe in ghosts, but he haunted her nonetheless. How long had it been? A day? A week? Perhaps longer? She shrugged to herself. What did it matter? Time no longer meant anything to her. Not since that moment... <NO!> She refused to think about it. When they had told her...that Jean-Luc had... Oh, God, the pain. That moment had been the end. At least now, she no longer felt so much pain. She no longer felt anything. Nothing mattered. Beverly lay down on the bed. His bed. She refused to allow them to take his belongings. She wanted them around her for the time being. She thought it would help. It didn’t. She could smell him, almost feel his presence, but he wasn’t there. He was never coming back. She stared at the ceiling. *Jack’s death wasn’t this painful* she suddenly thought in surprise. An odd mixture of warmth and despair quickly replaced her surprise. *Because I had Jean-Luc.* It all suddenly made sense to her: her ability to move on with her career, her son, her life after Jack died. She had had Jean-Luc. Even then she had loved him. She had opted not to explore that love and Jean-Luc had not pushed her. He remained steadfast, by her side for so many years. Her support, her anchor, her best friend. Her love. And now he was gone. She felt like such a fool. So afraid to love the man who completed her. Now, instead of fear, there was only regret, and of course, pain. How was she supposed to move on with her life? A life without him? She didn’t want to move on. She couldn’t. Jean-Luc Picard was her life. Beverly closed her eyes. She had her coworkers. She had her son; where he was, she didn’t know. But, they weren’t enough. Of course there was Deanna. Friend, counselor, empath. Beverly knew Deanna was worried about her. She had tried to help Beverly out of her grief. *She doesn’t understand. Deanna may be an empath, but she doesn’t understand. I don’t want her help. I don’t want anyone’s help. I want to be left alone.* Beverly sighed. *I want to be with Jean-Luc.* A feeling of peace came over her with her next thought. *I will be with him soon.* She smiled to herself. No one knew, not even Deanna. They wouldn’t understand. They would try to stop her. They thought she needed help. *They’re wrong! I need Jean-Luc!* How could they possibly grasp the fact that Jean-Luc was the other half of her soul? Without him she was incomplete. She didn’t want to go on. Those that ‘knew’ her would be very surprised. On the surface, she appeared to be a pillar of strength. What they didn’t realize was that Jean-Luc was the source of her strength. He always had been. Now he was gone and she felt so helpless. So weak. So tired. Drained. Soon those sensations would pass. The warmth that had been asserting itself against her body increased. She began to feel more at peace with herself. Beverly smiled. It would happen soon. She knew the drugs would take some time to take effect, but that it would be painless. Her grip on the hypospray relaxed and her smile grew. She would be with Jean-Luc soon. He was near, she could feel it. She closed her eyes and let the warmth and peace envelope her entire being. She began to feel so light, as if she was floating. Out of the darkness she could sense someone there. Someone was waiting for her. "Beverly," he whispered. The sound of his voice brought such joy to her. She reached out toward the voice, overjoyed to feel his spirit reaching for hers. There was no fear, no pain, and no regrets. Now she was at peace. Her soul was complete. |
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Disclaimer: The characters
are the property of Paramount Pictures |
