MANY THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, A RACE KNOWN AS ASCII CO.® DISCOVERED THE SECRET OF MAKING SHITTY RPGs IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME. FEARING THAT SUCH KNOWLEGDE WOULD BE USED FOR EVIL BY PRETENTIOUS TEENAGERS, THEY LOCKED IT AWAY, HOPING IT WOULD NEVER BE FOUND.

HOWEVER, THE ROGUE EXPLORER DON MIGUEL®, AND HIS SPIFFY CAT®, LOCATED ITS HIDDEN CHAMBER, AND RELEASED UNTOLD TERROR UPON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

THE POWER WAS SOON MONOPOLISED BY THE EVIL EMPRESS WISHMOO® AND HER ARMY OF POISONOUS BEARS, BUT SMALL POCKETS OF RESISTANCE STILL SURVIVE TODAY, WAGING A COVERT WAR. AGAINST WHAT, THEY REALLY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE, BUT 'COVERT WAR' SOUNDS COOL.

THIS IS THE STORY OF THE PEOPLE WHO DARED TO STAND AGAINST EVIL. THIS IS THE STORY OF... RMD!®




Slinky® is the hero of RMD, the most powerful warrior on earth and the first to become a Knight of Heaven® in over 1000 years. When the poisonous bears arrive, Slinky® learns the mysterious secret of his own past: he is a legndary angel formerly named Phar-Ezar®. Slinky® was sent to Earth as a baby to grow up and destroy the planet, but a head injury as a child scrambled Slinky's® programming. Instead of growing up to become a destructive super-warrior, he became innocent and pure of heart, fighting for good.
Slinky's® one time archenemy, 0kelvin® is the second strongest being on the Earth, born as a concentration of Googleshng's® negative spirits. He has powerful energy blasts, can split into two or four separate entities, and has the ability to regenerate limbs. He is often seen in a white cape. Originally from the far away planet Nechama® (although 0kelvin® doesn't know this for a long time), 0kelvin® starts off fighting Slinky® to rule the world. When the poisonous bears arrive he joins forces with Slinky®. At first it is an uneasy alliance, but as the story unfolds, their bond becomes stronger.


As a young boy, Brandon® studied martial arts with Slinky® under Master Geluh®. Originally, he and Slinky® were fierce rivals, but now they are best friends. A short, bald warrior, Brandon® provides comic relief in tense situations as he tries to keep up with Slinky® and some of the other more powerful warriors. A good fighter on his own accord, he's always there to help Slinky®. He can and has saved his friend's life more than once. In fact, Brandon® unleashes an incredibly powerful energy blast shaped like a flying disk that can slice through mountaintops.
In the original series, Delete® was a mixed up teenager with blue hair and a personality quirk that wouldn't allow her to shut up for a second. Now, she's blossomed into a mixed up woman with that same personality quirk. But, Delete® is very important to the team. She is a mechanical genius who can operate and fix anything. She is the one that discovers the capabilities of the -INRI System-® and enhances it for their own use. She also takes the lead in finding a spaceship capable of flying to Nechama®. Delete® designed the X2-Unit®, which tracks the locations of the Legendary Golems®.


Locus® is a longtime friend and ally of Slinky's®, though he was once a notorious bandit. He is sometimes accompanied by Leshi®, his devoted imp companion. He is anxious and willing to be trained by Geluh® and to join the upcoming battle against the poisonous bears even though he understands that the odds will be against them. In the heat of battle, Locus® volunteers to fight Wishmoo® instead of Brandon® because Brandon® has already been brought back to life by Katzfiel®. Locus® is defeated during battle with Wishmoo®, and trains in the "Another Dimension"® under Master Geluh®.
Living in the "Another Dimension,"® MR BIG T® is known throughout the universe as one of the greatest fighters and martial arts teachers (although his teaching methods are rather unorthodox). His house is on a tiny planet at the end of Finland. The small planet has ten times the gravity of Earth, and is thus an ideal training site. His companions include a goofy monkey, named Dr Albano®, and a grasshopper, named Graig®. MR BIG T® possesses a humorous, corny sense of humor (he's always telling jokes or puns) as well as great wisdom. Fortunately for our friends, he can communicate telepathically, giving them good advice and warnings in critical situations.


Solik® is from the South Quadrant of the Other World. He never had a chance in the Other World Tournament since his first opponent was Slinky®. Solik® actually only lost because he decided to morph into his ultimate form, which takes 1200 years, so Geluh® declared Slinky® the winner because he didn't want to wait.
Thanks to his assistant, Dere'dhek®, the evil Obmeiste® was freed from an icy tomb by the fire beast MAG-MOR®. Together they plot to take over the world. But Obmeiste® is just a brain in a jar! With their powerful android warriors, they conspire to collect the world’s strongest warrior in order to determine the person most suitable to house Obmeiste's® amazing brain.


Like the other reviewer, Solik®, Toadpole® can be summoned by PMing him until he begrudgingly agrees. Toadpole® can bestow any wish as long as it does not exceed the power of its creator and as long as the creator still lives. In Toadpole's® case, the creator is Steve Irwin. Unlike Solik®, however, Toadpole® can only grant one wish per summoning.
Madeleine® has been the princess of Squibbon Way® for the last 1500 years. She is pretty, therefore, she has been the winner of many beauty awards. Since it has been over 500 years since they had guests, Madeleine® is intrigued by the arrival of Toadpole® and tries to trick him into staying by placing sedatives into his food. When that does not work, she tries to force him into staying. Madeleine® has a dream mirror, which she uses to discern Toadpole's® dreams.


The most dangerous of all Geluh's® creations, Blank®, was created in Geluh's® lab as a genetic experiment. He comes complete with a self-destruct feature, a scorpion-like tail that opens up to absorb the energy of his opponents, and instructions to wreak revenge on the poisonous bears which caused Geluh's® downfall. Blank® contains the DNA of the mightiest warriors of the universe including Slinky®, 0kelvin® and Brandon®. Possessing the DNA of these great warriors, Blank® is able to fight with their attacks. With these great forces combined Blank® is an almost invincible being.
Haughty, malicious, seemingly invincible and power-hungry with absolutely no compassion, Seamonkey® is feared as the most powerful and evil being in the universe with no rival being even close to his strength. Upon learning about the legendary RMD®, Seamonkey® is consumed with a desire to obtain get get an account, summon Solik®, and gain his wish for reviews of his games. Then he can rule the entire universe, unrivaled, forever. Understanding the capability of the poisonous bears as fighters, he eliminates their planet to destroy the competition. In his search for Solik® on RMD®, he ruthlessly and predictably eliminates all who get in his way. The very mention of his name strikes dread and fear across the universe.