For those who cannot read it:
Brian: Hello! Brian May here! You're probably all wondering what I'm doing on Mars.
Well, the fact is, I've come up here to get away from all you people constantly asking me when I'm gonna get my hair cut!
"When are you gonna get your hair cut Brian? It's been like that for years!"
I'm a nice guy but I'm NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
So I've moved up here with my wife Angie from Eastenders and we're gonna breed a race of poodle-haired people! So there!
Anita: Cor luv a duck.
(telephone rings)
It's Slash. He says can he come too?
Brian: Only if he swaps his cowboy boots for clogs.