By: Toki-sama

It was a relationship that did not exist. A love that was not fully responded, an embraced half given, a kiss half meant. Since Gabriel first ever set his perfect blue, slightly slanted eyes on Tai, he never recovered. For as long as he could recall, he's been head over heels in love. Head over heels...it was an odd term. It rooted from prisoners being tortured and hung by their heels upside so they were "head over heels" back in the late eighteenth century. While upside down and disoriented, they were helpless. It's how Gabriel felt a lot of the time around Tai. He felt helpless knowing he loved a man that could not return his affections. When they met, Tai was happily married. Completely in love with a woman that had given him a child, a home and a family. He felt helpless when he found out that same family had been brutally taken away from Tai. It was Gabriel who knew before anyone else, even before Jia, the man that Tai had dedicated his life to serving. He felt helpless still watching Tai recover, or at least attempt to, being there the only way he could be. As a loyal friend and partner. Though Gabriel could only hope for so much more, he set aside his selfish needs to offer his shoulder for Tai who mourned and mourned still over a family he will never embrace again. It was by accident that Tai and Gabriel's lips brushed against each other’s. And while Gabriel blushed and moved away, apologizing for the incident, Tai did not. He leaned closer, wanting to taste the angel that had always been by his side.

That was the first time. It had been few and far between when Tai came to Gabriel for such means of pleasure. They had always been more friends and partners since they both began working for Jia in their earlier youth. So while time slowly knit the tear in Tai that was still raw and tender, Gabriel sat faithfully by his side. Rumors always came among their associates, saying more then it turned out to be. Gabriel was playfully teased by those he worked around, saying they knew that Gabriel was more in love then he lead on. And it was true, though the gaijin didn't like to admit it. Admitting just how much and far he was in love with Tai was something he couldn't face. It was the kind of love one person alone shouldn't face. The kind of love that owned someone thoroughly, heart, mind and soul. The kind of love that made someone feel helpless, the kind of love that hurt to breathe without that other person. The kind of love that made someone never love anyone else again because it took so much energy and so much of one’s soul. It frightened Gabriel to think he could have fallen so far, but he didn't face up to it. He didn't want to face up to it because he knew he could love so far and so deep, his love could cover the sky, but it would never be completely responded to. Tai had already loved to those depths and it was almost impossible to love like that again. There was almost no chance, no hope and the most he would ever receive from Tai would be their very loving friendship. Though Gabriel suffered for that, he was happy to have it. It was better then nothing.

He lived for the blessed moments of having Tai, for what felt like all eternity. To feel as if he was the only one. To close his eyes and pretend, even for a brief moment that Tai really was and will be all his. The moment was fleeting and rare and as fragile as butterfly wings. He loved feeling Tai's weight on him because Tai was not a slim or slender man. Tai was broad, muscle forming his arms, his back, his chest and stomach. Tai was also tall, legs all formed and shaped as well as his torso, everything tight, toned and chiseled in. He was devastating. Still unmarked from the long life as a yakuza that he led other then four needed tattoos. Of the times to remember what Tai had once, it was usually while they tumbled into bed together. On Tai's chest the clear present mark of the Japanese words "Lost Everything" over his heart, on one arm the name of his wife, on the other, the name of his son. Then of course, his undying loyalty to Jia, the characters for Judgment on the inside of his wrist. Gabriel sighed, closing his eyes as much as he could without shutting them as he slipped his hands past Tai's open shirt, turning his head as he felt his lover lean down and press his lips to the side of his neck, near his ear. Gabriel could hear him breathing softly, his mouth closed, lips puckered as Tai's mouth brushed his mouth against the soft supple skin. Under Gabriel's hand he felt the muscle plain of Tai's back, the way his shoulder blades moved as Tai's arms slid underneath Gabriel's virtually weightless body, a knee gliding smoothly between the gaijin's already open legs. Their first time and the few times after that, Gabriel had been shy without knowing why. More recently after brushing against death, his neck almost cut open Gabriel had abandoned his shy and quiet demeanor. He became more unabashed, more deadly in his job, less shy and more wanton about wanting Tai. He wanted Tai in every sense and that included the physical. He's had too many chances to taste to always hunger for more. He moaned softly, feeling Tai react to that as Gabriel moved his hands downwards. His arm length and Tai's body didn't allow Gabriel to reach and further then he liked so he let his hands slid slowly down Tai's sides, feeling the brim of his dress pants. Always so professional, suit, tie, dress shoes, his slicked back, everything pressed and polished. Tai looked the oyabun part then Jia did sometimes. Gabriel felt himself smile slightly, his fingers grabbing hold of the belt around Tai's pants as he pulled it loose, his blue eyes never leaving Tai's. The broader man allowed this, not stopping Gabriel, even when the belt came loose and he felt the slender fingers tug at the zipper, drawing it down and slipping his hand inside.

Tai closed his eyes, gasping softly, feeling something that his once bashful lover had never done before. He couldn't help but slowly thrust into the hand holding him as he leaned down slightly, taking Gabriel's mouth softly kissing him. It was slow at first until Gabriel parted his lips, allowing Tai's tongue to slip into his awaiting mouth. Their tongues brushed against each other, slowly, teasing all the while Gabriel's slender hand still worked Tai into a frenzy. Eventually the taller man moved back his fallen angel's hand and kissed him still as Gabriel reached up, holding onto his lover's neck. They slowly turned, still fully dressed except coats, shoes and ties. Gabriel found himself sitting on Tai's lap, still facing the taller stronger man as he kissed him. When he moved back, his hands found their way back up to the lapels of the open dress shirt and Gabriel moved it back, baring the strong, well toned flesh his hands had been devouring for a few moments now. He leaned forward, kissing his lover's neck, softly nipping and licking his way towards his collarbones. Tai leaned back, allowing him to, his breath now becoming labored as he felt his fallen angel gently reach one soft tan nipple. His eyes closed as he held his breath, Gabriel's soft full lips sucking carefully over the tender bud. When he finished, he slowly began going across to the other but stopped when he could feel Tai's heart beating. It was frantic, but excited all the same. As Gabriel opened his eyes, he could see the words haunting him as they were haunting Tai. "Lost Everything." Gabriel sighed to himself, thinking no Tai you didn't loose everything. I'm here. I would hope that's something. But he didn't say a word and planted a soft kiss to the words. As he moved back, he could feel Tai's large hands on the back of his head, his thick fingers kneading through his now thick black hair. Gabriel looked up to see Tai's indescribable look. It looked like pity and sadness, mixed with regret mixed with shame and something else Gabriel couldn't place his finger on. The gaijin stopped as he sat up, reaching up to his hair and tucking it back as he wondered if he went too far, crossed a line he didn't know was there. But Tai still had his hand in his hair, moving Gabriel back down towards him, kissing him as he gave a soft whisper of don't stop.

So he didn't.

Gabriel sat back up, shrugging off his own dress shirt and throwing it to the side, showing his own branding of his yakuza lifestyle. His body was laced with old scars from near fatal brushes with death and now the scar on his neck. His hands reached up to his hair, moving it back as he arched his back and let his eyelids feel heavy as he got to his knees and then slowly sat back down on Tai's lap, purposely rubbing himself against the much more powerful man. Tai hissed to himself, his face showing the pleasure he receiving from the friction Gabriel was causing. It didn’t take too long to realize his wanton fallen angel was seducing him and doing a damn good job of it. Gabriel’s hands dropped down slowly, uncoiling from his black hair, going slowly down his own neck, down his chest, his slender fingers going down his flat stomach, stopping just about the brim of his pants. There his fingertips toyed with the button holding the pants together. Gabriel felt satisfied to see he had Tai’s full and undivided attention, his eyes following Gabriel’s hands all the way down. As the button came loose, he drew the zipper down as he then placed his hands on the sides of his pants, pushing them down slightly, opening more of the front as he did so. His dark hair fell over his shoulder as he leaned forward to Tai, kissing him, startling the taller man. Their lips met again as Gabriel moved back, part of his hair falling over his left bright blue eye. He breathed slightly as he whispered,

"You can touch me."

Never had four simple words sparked such a grand explosion of feelings. Tai felt for a moment that the tables had turned and where he was once the one in charge, Gabriel had seized control. His large powerful hands came up, fingertips brushing over his lover’s skin, sliding down the front of his body. By then the gaijin had sat up, feeling Tai’s thick strong fingers going down his stomach, dipping into his belly button and going lower with little hesitation. Blue eyes rolled back as Gabriel moaned softly, feeling Tai’s hand cupping him, kneading him so, so carefully. It was done with the greatest of care, his thumb smoothing over the quickly hardening flesh. Tai leaned forward, kissing his angel’s exposed neck, feeling the vibrations of Gabriel’s moan through his lips. His free hand pressed against Gabriel’s arched back while he felt his lover holding on tightly to the front of Tai’s open dress shirt.

He continued massaging until he felt Gabriel panting frantically. He then moved his hand back, watching Gabriel’s bright blue eyes open slowly as he began to sit up straight again. He licked his lips as he panted slightly for only a moment before he closed his mouth all the way and then leaned forward, putting his arms around Tai’s neck and kissed him again. He would never get tired of kissing him, never grow weary of feeling his lips pressed against his own. It was a feeling all too sweet. Somewhere in the back of Gabriel’s mind, his cruel moment of reality dawned on him, reminding him not to get too lost in that kiss. Reminding him of the fact that Tai will never truly respond as much as he wanted him to. He dismissed those thoughts for now, returning to his current moment. When they pulled away again, Gabriel slid his hands under the shoulders of Tai’s shirt lifting it up and back, making it drop away. Tai assisted, pulling down the sleeves of his shirt, taking one off, then the other before moving the forgotten garment aside. Tai slowly began taking control of the situation as he wrapped his thick arms around Gabriel’s slender waist and lifted him up from his lap and laid him down on the bed. The gaijin felt slightly surprised but he liked it all the same as he laid back with ease, still keeping his legs open to the taller man. He felt no modesty as Tai’s hands began tugging down his pants the rest of the way, slowly easing them past his hips, the sides of the dark blue boxers coming down with the shallow tugs. As the pants came over his waist, Tai moved back more, giving Gabriel space to bring his legs up and remove the pants the rest of the way. Once off, they were thrown to the side with everything else. Gabriel laid there without shame as he brought his hands back up to his hair, smoothing it away from his face and then rested them on his sides. Tai moved his hands over his lover’s body, smoothing, stroking and cupping until Gabriel squirmed, moaned and panted. His body twisting to and away from Tai’s hands, feeling excited and turned on with each action. Tai then leaned down to Gabriel’s folded stomach, making the gaijin move his arms away and lay back down to his back as Tai kissed his torso, tongue lapping slowly down his ribcage to his stomach, the tip of the wet muscle dipping into his belly button. Gabriel laughed a little feeling ticklish as Tai did it again, eliciting another giggle from Gabriel. He then sat back up and carefully tugged on the sides of the dark blue boxers. Gabriel knew what Tai wanted and lifted up his hips, his own hands coming over Tai’s to help him remove the last piece of clothing. Once it was down his legs and over his feet, already tossed haphazardly to the side, Tai only looked. As mentioned, it had been few and far between in their coupling and it always took a moment for Tai to realize what he had lying before him. So many times before, it had felt as if he was violating something pure. Pure in every sense of the word. A pure body, a pure mind, a pure friendship, pure and unconditional love. Somehow, now it was different. While he felt as if he was a demon raping an angel before, now he had a fallen archangel spreading for him, wanting him, inviting him to the feast of his body. If ever there was a reason to fall from heaven, the reason was laying in front of Tai. He began to undress himself, pants already undone only left to be removed. As he got to his knees to pull them down the rest of the way, Gabriel sat up, helping him. For a moment, Tai let him do it alone as he stared at the side of Gabriel’s face. The fallen angel was looking up at him in a sideways glance, a small, pleased smile on his face. When the pants wouldn’t go down anymore, Tai sat down and then took them off the rest of the way on his own. He didn’t have a chance to take off his boxers the rest of the way when Gabriel turned his head towards him, kissing him. Tai momentarily forgot about the boxers as he brought his hands up to Gabriel’s face and held him close, kissing him with as much passion and adoration he could conjure.

It was a matter of moments before Gabriel was lying back down, one hand near his face, black hair sprawled under him, his fingers close by twisting and turning the locks in nervous anticipation. The other hand rested on top of the soft gray comforters they both laid on top of. Meanwhile, Tai held himself up over him, his short, black and brown streaked hair hung down, his dark brown eyes trained on Gabriel’s bright blue ones. His other hand was gently searching, probing, going as slow as they could to a sensitive opening. As the tip of the first finger entered, Gabriel winced to himself having forgotten the feeling for a moment as he slowly fell into enjoying it. It didn’t seem like long until he could feel Tai getting ready, a gentle nudge and a careful look was given as the gaijin relaxed himself, his fingers still twisted and twirling the lock of hair while the other clutched at the comforter under him. Then slowly, but smoothly, the man he had fallen head over heels for was inside him. He gasped at the feeling, both hands reaching to Tai, hoping it wasn’t a dream, hoping to feel flesh against his own and having his hope realized when his hands came up to Tai’s neck, holding on carefully as he moaned. God it felt good. He could weep from the over all pleasure of it all. Not just the feel of having someone as close as they could get, but the feeling of Tai’s large, thick hands gripping his thigh, the sound of Tai breathing near his ear, a gentle moan coming in broken pants, his other hand searching for Gabriel’s. It was perfect and Gabriel had no problems with staying that way for the rest of his life. His legs pressed against Tai’s waist and he realized with small wonder that it really had been a while since they were last together because his open legs were straining, the muscle taunt and tense. He didn’t care though and after a few moments he urged his taller lover to go on.

He moaned in broken sounds. Sounds high enough to be heard, low enough to not echo through the room. Gabriel pulled himself up as close to Tai as he could get. His right arm around Tai’s neck and shoulder, his chin on Tai’s opposite shoulder, mouth parted, eyes heavily lidded as he moaned, begging Tai to never stop. His hair hung behind him, his bangs sticking to his face from sweat as he used his left arm for leverage. He pushed himself up to meet Tai halfway in his thrusts, his head often leaving Tai’s shoulder as he let it fall gently, exposing his neck to his lover’s mouth. Tai could see him, watching his fallen angel’s face change and screw up with ecstasy as he moved in and out of him. He went slowly at first, feeling that with the first intrusion that Gabriel was still tight and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. Although it seemed that pain was obviously the last thing on Gabriel’s mind. Tai’s hands were clenching and grabbing the comforter under his palms, every now and then, one hand left and touched the skin on Gabriel’s back. They were both hot, beads of sweat trickling down the sides of their faces, bodies frantic with heat burning off each other. As they kissed, their mouths held back moans that were sparked with each pelvic motion. It was about as close as Gabriel would have Tai love him. But in the near shallow base of his mind, it was enough. It was rare and each time it happened, it felt better then the last. The taller man finally found a brief moment in their union to hold Gabriel close to him and using his strength, he sat up, holding Gabriel on his lap. The gaijin gasped at the sudden change of position, a new angle causing him to arch up in surprise as he then fell back, his back arched as his head fell back. He used the continuing feeling as motivation as he moved up and down, bouncing slightly on Tai’s lap. It felt even better when he felt his lover's hands on his hips assisting him in his actions. Gabriel then picked his head up, bringing his own hands over Tai’s as their eyes locked again. They both panted, a light sheen of sweat covering their bodies, an intense glaze fixed on each other. It was all Gabriel could do as he panted, his body still moving up and down, trying to finish what that night had started. With his eyes he said all he couldn’t with words and it seemed as if Tai understood. They kissed, mouths open, eyes still open as they stared at each other. Then Gabriel groaned, moving back, his fingers tightening around Tai’s hands as he moaned out,

"I-iku…"

His back arched again, Tai watching him with fascination as his gasped a few more times, feeling the shallow thrusts still flowing through his body. He closed his eyes and with rush of blinding colors, the fallen angel came, his hands gripping Tai’s so hard that they left small divots from his fingernails in their wake. He shuttered violently afterwards as he felt Tai’s hands squeezing his sides, the inevitable taking him down as well. With a heavy sigh, they fell back, Gabriel underneath as Tai held him close, his arms wrapping around him kissing him as he said nothing, just tried to regain his breath. Gabriel finally let go of Tai’s hands, bringing them up to his lover’s damp hair, pulling back as he kissed the top of his head, feeling Tai shower his throat with kisses until eventually he looked up and their lips met again. With a soft part, Gabriel pulled his own hair back away from his face as he said,

"Stay tonight."

Tai nodded, returning to kiss him again and again.

Gabriel held onto the moment for as long as he could. He didn’t mind that he would later face the consequences of his body or that within the hour he would be uncomfortable, he would hold it all in just to keep Tai where he was. The moment was too fleeting to ruin it with complaints. The fallen angel held onto his time with the man he fell in love with and closed his eyes, knowing that when he woke up the next morning, the moment would be gone.

Definition

Iku - Means "I’m coming" in Japanese