Aya’s POV

By: Toki-sama

It started off simple enough. It was an argument like always. Aoki didn’t know when to quit, which usually got him in deeper then it would have had he shut up when I told him too. I try to be reasonable in some sense and I give him an easy out. When I tell him to shut up, it’s usually because I know he’s going to say something that makes me livid. But nope, not Aoki. Not big, strong, super seme, "I’m-always-right", one of the original players, Tachimine Aoki. Never. Never would he be told to shut up by his pretty like uke. That’s too much of an ego blow to him so he keeps right on talking. And that usually leads him right out my door. Either by his own will or mine. We had fought enough times in our "relationship" so I had learned to read him. He had one advantage over me that I still couldn’t figure out and that would be his eyes. Always hidden behind sunglasses, I can never see if he’s actually lying to me. But his face, actions and lack of words often make up for that. At the moment, our most recent bout is about Nabatone Toshimasa. I had known for some time that Aoki, along with his horn ball friends and even his own son had been lusting after the leggy, shy accountant. Aoki lusted the hardest though. He liked the fact that Toshimasa was tall, slender and still pretty. He was demur and gentle too. I was secure with myself when it came to looks. Toshimasa and I were not in the same class since my skin did not bare any marks of assault while his did. Oh don’t look at me like that, it’s true and you know it. Anyway, Toshimasa did have one thing over me that the Trio and Jo still lusted for and still craved. The fact and possibility that Toshimasa was still very much pure. It was a factor that no matter how pretty I am, could never regain. I had lost that to Aoki years ago. That made me insecure. Often all of Aoki’s conquests had the same thing in common. I’ve overheard his conversations with the rest of the Trio and Jo to know that they all sought out and craved the tightness of a virgin. At the time I didn’t care that Aoki lusted so very hard after Toshimasa. What angered me was at the end when Aoki finally went through with that lust and actually fucked him. We had the same argument over and over again. Time and time we fought over the same double standards Aoki placed on me. It was okay for him to go and fuck and continue spreading his wild seed all over the world, but if someone so much as even glanced in my general direction, they’d end up in chalk outlines. It was completely unfair and more over unreasonable. Aoki had jealousy on anyone that included his own son.

At first I thought the jealousy was somewhat sweet. It was Aoki showing he cared for me, even if it was in a violent rage. Then I found out that the only reason he was like that was because he saw me as an object. Much like a spoiled child that doesn’t want to share, he grew furious if someone else wanted to play with "his Aya." Then it was no longer sweet. We had that argument as well. But right now, we were on Toshimasa and how he fucked someone else yet again, giving no thought whatsoever to as how I would react until later and he decided to try and hide this from me. I bet he’s still wondering how he found out. If he only used his brain half as much as his dick, he’d realize I overheard him bragging about it to his friends. I only crossed my arms, raised an eyebrow and leaned against the wall as I listened to how they cheered him on for finally getting one of his goals accomplished. So basically, Aoki told me himself. I once heard a song that went something like "Ain’t no man like the one I got" and I applied it to myself at the moment. Nope, there isn’t a man like the one I got. I gave Aoki time to realize he had been caught. First by appearing suddenly just after he finished all his seedy little details and I saw the expression on his face, wondering just how long I had been there. Then, when he tried to con his way out of it, asking me where I had been all day, I let him know I was working. It gave him some relief and he tried to kiss me only for me to turn away, letting him catch a mouthful of hair instead as I said I had to get going. Aoki’s not completely brain dead, he quickly caught on that I was not happy with him. In the cab ride home, I sat away from him, looking out the window, my arms and legs crossed with enough space between us to fit another person. When we got back to my apartment, that’s when the argument started.

I had just taken off my shoes and coat as Aoki said,

"All right so what’s got you all pissed off now?"
I stopped in mid action, angry that he could start that way. I then slowly turned, looking at him over my shoulder as I faced him and said,

"Nothing. I was just thinking about something all day."
"What?"
"How was Toshimasa?"

I said it with such calmness that it freaked him out. He then panicked when he realized he was caught.

"How’d you know?"

I didn’t tell him. I just crossed my arms and waited for an explanation. He obviously lacked one as his panicked look faded just as quickly as it came and he put his hands in his pockets nonchalantly as he then said,

"It was nothing."
"It was obviously something to you."
"Not everything has to do with emotion. It’s just fucking."
I know he didn’t mean it to me as well, but at the moment, I took it as if he meant me too. I gave him a look as he said,

"Not to you."
"But it’s just fucking Aoki! Not everything has to do with emotion!"

I threw his words back at him, raising my voice in the process. He sighed heavily as he said,

"You always get all pissy, acting as if you didn’t know what I do when I’m not with you!"

"You say this like I accept it! I’m not one of your friends Aoki! I’m not Jia and you’re not Toki and I don’t accept you fucking around on me behind my back!"
"I never said I was or any of that shit, but don’t act like you don’t know and you get all surprised and mad at me and whatnot! Shit, if I had stayed loyal, Jo wouldn’t be running around!"

I widened my eyes at him as I threw my hands up and said,

"Ugh you’re disgusting! You’re so fucking selfish!"

"I’m the selfish one?"
"Oh, don’t you dare question who’s selfish in this so-called relationship. Everything has to be done your way. It’s all about you, you, you and your dick!"

"I don’t get no complaints!"
"Yeah from everyone else but me! How dare you bring Jo into this?"
"I’m bringing him up for a point. You knew, it’s not the first time I did this shit!"

"And what happened after that whole thing Aoki? Huh? What happened? I didn’t speak to you for a long, long time! You should know better by now!"

"There you go, getting all with this female shit again."

I got angry with him even more and walked over to him and punched him in the stomach. I can’t say that he fell to the floor writhing in pain, but it was enough to catch him by surprise and definitely make him gasp and hold his stomach.

"How’s that for female shit!? You’re such an asshole Aoki! So fucking selfish! You have no consideration for any one that’s not you!"

Aoki stood up straight after slouching slightly and shoved me back slightly, giving him some space as he said,

"You’re so damn needy! You always what something from me!"

"Unlike you I never saw loving you as a weakness."
"Well it is! It’s like having an open shot on me twenty-four hours a day! A big day glow sign that says shoot me please, here, take advantage of me and everything I have because of him! That’s what it’s like Aya!"

I dropped my hands, my eyes widening slightly as I gasped a little. I gasped because that hurt. It hurt a lot. I loved him and because I did, it’s why we argued. Because he couldn’t see my point of view, of why I wanted him just to myself and it was not okay for him to do what he always did.

"Bastard…"
We stared at each other for a little while as I repeated myself, this time adding in more.

"You’re a bastard. Get out. Get out now!"

I shoved him, his back hitting the back of the door, which was unfortunately closed already. He tried grabbing a hold of my wrists without tightening his grip because he didn’t want to hurt me, but I kept slipping out of his grip, shoving him back as he said,

"Why are you getting all pissed off?"
"I’ve been pissed off Aoki, you’re just pushing it!"

"I didn’t say anything that was-"
"Shut up! Just shut up and get out!"

"I can’t believe you’re not even letting get a word in edge wise!"
"I’m doing you a favor!"

"Doin me a favor? I don’t need you to cut me any favors!"

"Yes you do now leave!"

"Tell me why!"

"Why you should leave? Gladly! You’re an idiot and if you stay here any longer I’m never going to want to see you again! So just leave!"

"God, I can never talk to you about anything! You get all pissy with me and shit, it’s like being married!"

"You say that like it’s such a horrible thing!"

"It is!"

"Get out!"

It was very hard to get him out, pry my hands away from him and open the door all at once. I could only do one thing at a time as we continued arguing. With every passing word out of his mouth all I wanted to do was shoot him. Eventually, I managed to get the door open and I shoved him out, with one more final shout and slammed the door. I locked it then placed the chain lock across it since locking him out would prove pointless if he had keys. I leaned against the door in case he tried to get back in as I heard him yelling at me on the other side.

"Aya! Don’t be so damn childish! Open the door!"

"Go to hell Aoki! Go home! You have one of your own!"

"Damnit Aya!"

He pounded on the door, shaking the knob as he said,

"Open the fucking door! Open it or I’ll break it down I swear to God I will!"

"Go home Aoki! Do not make my neighbors call the cops on you! Just leave!"

"God damn it! You’re worse then a fucking girl!"

"Well go fuck one and see what’s better and worse!"

"What the hell is that suppost to mean!?"
"You’re a smart boy, you figure it out! Now leave!"

"This is some bullshit! You know most of my shit is in there anyway!"

"It couldn’t be! That would be like being married to a pissy girl all the time!"

"Fuck you!"

"No fuck you! Now leave!"

He kicked at the door a few more times, swear the whole time before he finally stormed off. I sighed, slouching down to the floor as I pulled my hair back from my face glad the argument was over. Now it was up to me to decide just how long this little fight of ours would last.

Or at least that’s what I thought. The next day, Aoki was mad at me now, for being mad at him to start. So he was being very childish and not talking to me unless he really, really had to. That was fine, I was acting the same way. Everyone else around us saw the tension between us. How we wouldn’t speak, hardly make eye contact and come close to having full blown arguments when we were suppost to be discussing business. We continued this little fight for a while, even during one of our business trips. Jia had to get to London for a while, all of us coming with him. Naturally that meant I was in charge of booking hotel rooms and flights. I did what was natural and paired everyone up with their partners, except for myself and Aoki. When we got to London and checked in, I gave Aoki his own room key, which was a first because even before we were lovers, we shared rooms when we were out of town. He looked at it and then at me as he said,

"What’s this?"
"Your room key."

I resisted the urge to call him stupid as he said,

"Why you giving it to me? You always hold it."
"No, I mean it’s a key to your own room."
"Why? We always share a room."
"Not this time. We’re partners Aoki that’s all. And we’re partners in business not hotel rooms."

I tossed the key in the air as I turned, hearing him catch it as I left. The fight between us didn’t lessen. We had not spoken for near two months, longest record ever. Just to piss him off, I flirted heavily with his son, playing on his insecurity. He hated that so much, I could see it on his face as I paid Jo all the attention I would have usually given him. Jo didn’t have a problem with playing the part between us, though he did fear for his well being. After two months and three weeks of silence between us, I started playing around with the idea of really breaking it off between us. It was never going to work anyway. Aoki was never going to change, never going to see me as anything but his weakness and possession. I felt so sad thinking about that, but I thought it best. I couldn’t continue my life like that and more of my youth then I’d like to admit was already gone. As I combed my hair, still wet from my recent shower, admiring all the fine curves and lines of my face neck, throat, shoulders and chest, I heard someone at the door. I sighed, setting the comb down and picked up my robe on the way out the door. I was only a pair of pale blue satin drawstrings but I didn’t feel like answering the door half naked. I paused to see who was and much to my shock, I saw it was Aoki. I didn’t open the door right away, I just stood staring at it for a moment, wondering if I should open it. I always made Aoki do something. I forced him into a lot of things, making him come to me first. Sometimes I wondered if my forced hand was a problem between us too. Now I had held out on not talking to Aoki for almost three months and made him come to me. I had to wonder if he was coming back because he knew I wouldn’t go to him or because he really wanted to because he missed me or because he just wanted to get laid as usual. I was startled slightly when he knocked again, a little louder then before. I then began to question on why he didn’t use his keys. Finally, I heard him leaving so I stepped up to the door and opened it as I stepped out slightly and saw him turn around. I then also saw the shock of my life when I saw his hair that he had let grow out to the middle of his back was now back to his chin. He stood up straight, putting his hands in his pockets as he said,

"Hey."
"Hi."

I held the front of my robe close to me as I said,

"Why didn’t you use your keys?"
"Didn’t think I should."

I nodded as I then said,

"What do you want?"
"Came to talk to you. Now that we had some time apart."
I nodded as I went back inside the apartment, Aoki following. He closed the door lightly behind him as I turned to look at him. God he looked so young with his hair like that. Like when I first met him and was fully impressed by the much older man. I was like the naïve teenager when I met him and I felt like I was back in that place again. He leaned against the door, not going any further as we waited to for each other to say something. I didn’t think this was going anywhere for a while, so as I opened my mouth to tell him so, he said,

"I love you."

It robbed me of my sense for a moment as I then said,

"Then why do you do this to me?"
He shrugged as he stood up a little better against the door as he said,

"I’m stupid. No real reason. Just because it’s there and I can and sometimes I think I can get away with it."
We stared at each other again. It was quiet for a while until he held his hand out for me. It took me a moment to reach back to it, taking it as he tugged me towards him, removing his sunglasses at the same time. He tucked them away in his coat somewhere as we held each other for a while, his arms around me, holding me close to him as I gripped the sides of his shirt. I hide my face against his shirt as I said,

"Stupid."

"You know, you can be so mean when you wanna be."

"Don’t ruin the moment Aoki. Just shut up."

He laughed a little as he said,

"See what I mean."

I gave him a playful nudge as he held me a little closer. I smiled again as he then said,

"Wanna have sex?"
I sighed in disgust as I moved away from him as he laughed and began tugging on my sleeve as he said,

"I was kidding! Kidding! It was a joke."
I knew he was kidding and I had my own smile on my face as I tugged away from him, leading him to my room anyway. Aoki should know better sometimes and it seems as if he’ll never learn. But if he should know better, then so should I.