Lolita
by: McKinley Morganfield
I was looking at Skuld eat.
We were gathered about the table, eating the snack Belldandy had prepared
for us. Cake and tea. Elegant, but she made it for us so often it was almost
an effort to remember that she had to bake the cake, and boil the tea, and
that she put a great deal of effort into the preparation.
You could tell that Skuld was savoring every crumb. She had this polite way
of nibbling, where she would cut the smallest imaginable piece of cake with
the side of her fork. The sliver was about the same size every time. When I
was confident she wasn't looking, I would try to cut a piece about the same
size, just to see if it was as difficult as it looked. And indeed, when I
tried, the slice would fold in on itself, or not go down the full length of
the cake, or gain an inconsistency of width. I looked at Skuld again...she
made it seem so easy. I waited briefly, so nobody would suspect anything,
and tried again. Far more successful. I stared at the piece, comparing it to
my mental image of Skuld's. Bigger, definitely. Maybe not quite twice as big
as the sliver Skuld was able to pick off with amazing regularity.
I looked back at Urd, eating her cake along with the rest of the family.
She's also Belldandy's sister, so I'm just as interested in her as I am in
Skuld. She was eating the cake in big bites. Normally, I guess.
And it wasn't just the small slices that were so incredible. She had this
way with the fork, picking up the sliver of the cake she had cut. It was
smoother than if she had used a distinct motion to cut at and then stab at
the cake; at the same time it wasn't as clumsy as you might imagine
otherwise, like the fork was a shovel she was trying to level the cake upon.
For there was a certain elegance to her movement, a certain snap of the
wrist while she righted her hand forward, that seemed almost foreign in
nature. I laughed to myself. Foreign isn't the half of it. She's some exotic
creature from a distant land.
My sister Megumi was also at the table. She goes to the same college I do,
and comes over constantly. I don't really mind, though. We have so many
things in common, with personalities so different, that it was easy to get
along. I still hadn't told her about the true nature of the sisters,
however. I knew she suspected something. I also hadn't told her about my
relationship with Belldandy, although I wouldn't really be surprised if
Belldandy had told her months ago, and Megumi was playing dumb. She might
not ever let me in on her knowledge.
She really savored every one of these miniature slices. Of course it was
hard to tell; all the action was happening inside her mouth, and I didn't
want to do more than glance in fear of being caught. But it seemed to me,
from previous observations, that Skuld would use her tongue to turn the cake
in her mouth. I tried to imagine how. My first guess had been she turned it
ninety degrees to lay the cake perpendicular to her tongue. That seems
mechanical, and from college I suspected that that's how the Engineering
mind thinks. However, I'd like to think more of Skuld. I'd like to think
there's a little mischief in her, a little bundle of cute joy at life,
lurking underneath the exterior. Hell...I knew there was. I had seen her
smile, after all. I liked to think that she didn't stop at turning the cake
perpendicular to her tongue, but that she then proceeded to push the cake to
the back of her mouth and playfully raise her tongue against the roof of her
mouth while sliding her tongue forward, making a little "u" of the cake.
She didn't let the cake dissolve in her mouth, nor did she chew it. I
thought this was the most ingenious part. She had this way of looking
around, pretending to have swallowed her food, and then taking a bit of tea.
Just a sip, really. She'd take the smallest sip, let the tea dissolve the
cake in her mouth, and then swish the tea around her mouth, all to more
fully enjoy the sensations. She then, well, it was hard to tell, but I'm
pretty sure I must've known, by then. She must've known, for sure. She then
just let the tea sit in her mouth for a few seconds, discharge its taste
into her mouth. Only then did she swallow the solution.
The rest of the family was getting ready to go to the other tasks of the
day, so I reluctantly but necessarily followed Belldandy into the kitchen.
It was the most incredible thing about her. An intricate ritual, an
elaborate joy-making, of something that we had all taken for granted. She
could make so much out of the simple act of eating. I noted that it was
almost four minutes later before she got up and left the table.
**
+ But I couldn't have done it without you.
- Please! You...you're embarrassing me, Keiichi.
+ But it's true!
- You're the one who designed the motorcycle, who raced the motorcycle, who
holds that rag-tag collection of misfits together long enough to be a motor
club. You deserve the credit, not me.
+ You're the one I do it for! You're my inspiration, and you're always there
with a...
- Keiichi?
+ What?
- You would be a success either way. With or without me.
+ Belldandy, trust me. I wouldn't be a success without you. I... I couldn't.
- Yes, you could.
+ That's not true. I mean, I can't even imagine *living* without you.
- Keiichi...
+ You can take credit for every one of my sucesses. Love is my muse. And you
are my love.
- I can take credit? For showing up to your races in a tight dress?
+ Heh...no. Not for that, for...heh...uhmm...
- If anyone deserves credit, it's my sister Skuld.
+ No. No, she doesn't.
- Why not, Keiichi? She did the engine design calculations for you.
+ I could have done them just as easily myself.
- I don't know if you could have. Skuld knows computers very well.
+ What do you mean I couldn't have?! Skuld...she didn't help me. Not a bit.
She's just a kid, so I let her hang around. But just because she's your
sister. I don't like having her around or anything, after all.
- You...you don't?
+ No. I don't. She's a pest. She's only your little sister. She's nothing
more to me.
- Keiichi...what's gotten into you?
+ I don't know what you're talking about.
- You never seemed so...hostile to Skuld before. I thought you wanted to
become friends with her?
+ But I do!
- Then why...why are you acting like this?
+ I'm sorry...sorry if I'm acting weird. Nothing's gotten into me. I'm
sorry. I feel the same way I always have about her. Just... well...what you
said...bugged me.
- I'm sorry, Keiichi.
+ It's not your fault. It's mine.
- There's no fault to assign.
+ I really...I'd like to become friends with Skuld.
- I think Skuld enjoyed feeling needed. Why don't you thank her again, and
maybe ask her to help out on those engine diagrams you're working on?
+ But I'm almost done. I could do those myself.
- I know. But Keiichi...she really enjoys doing them. It's a great way to
get to know her.
**
I really didn't want to do to much with Skuld. Maybe give her the diagrams
and go. It wasn't good to talk to her, after all. Maybe I shouldn't even
give her the diagrams. Besides, Skuld wouldn't really feel that involved,
being given the last few mountings to look over. Belldandy had told me that
wasn't the point. But I didn't want to involve myself with her. I made the
fateful walk to her room.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hello," I answered.
"Come in, Keiichi!" she said with unexpected cheerfulness. She usually
didn't seem so happy to see me. She turned around to face me.
"Our motorcycle did great in the race Wednesday, didn't it?" asked Skuld.
"Yes, it did. Thank you very much for your help, Skuld."
"No problem. I'm glad to be of assistance."
"Oh?" I asked with pretended surprise. "That's great. Then maybe you
wouldn't mind helping with a little something else before the next race?"
"Something else? Sure, I'd love to," she uttered cheerfully. I smiled back.
I noticed her clothes had parted way to show just a glimpse of cleavage.
"Well, I have something here..." How was I supposed to react? My first
thought was to ignore the view, or even to move to where I couldn't see
anything. I don't know what thought or impulse possibly could have driven
me, but I couldn't. Really, I couldn't. I couldn't help but delight in the
half-caught glimpses of the budding chest, couldn't help but strive to catch
some more. I tried not to make it noticeable. I'm sure she noticed, but she
didn't do anything. How could she not have noticed? I was practically gaping
at her chest, after all!
"So you have something here..." she answered eventually, seemingly confused
at my delay in replying. I was startled, but tried to hide my emotion.
"Oh, yes. I have here the stats for my engines. I haven't made any diagrams
yet, and it's kind of necessary before I can get any farther."
"Not any?"
"Oh, no. You know, so busy celebrating I didn't have time to go on to the
next one."
"Yeah, I think I know what you mean." She smiled. But it was a different
kind of smile. The kind of smile where she looks up, and her lips curl at
the corners of her mouth. The kind of smile that seems to involve me.
**
+ So how'd it go? With Skuld?
- It went okay.
+ Okay?
- She said she'd help me with the diagrams.
+ She likes racing, doesn't she.
- I guess.
+ She was so excited the other day. You should have seen her face when you
were the first person to cross the finish line.
- Belldandy...
+ Yes?
- Could we not talk about Skuld? I'm sorry.
+ Sure...I guess. But why not?
- I don't know. Well, in the last month or so...it's like I see her in a new
way. Before I saw her...as your sister. Now I see her...I don't know like
how. But her presence bothers me. It's irrational, I know.
+ You're still mad at Skuld?
- Yes...I'm sorry.
+ It's nothing to be sorry about. But...she is my sister. I love her, and
I'd like it if you loved her, too.
- I...I know that. And I don't want to sound too negative.
+ You don't.
- It's just that...well, living with her. I mean, Urd comes and goes, but
Skuld seems to be here as often as not. I'm not used to having a younger
sister, and so it's a bit unusual.
+ Except for Megumi.
- Huh?
+ You're not used to having a younger sister, except for Megumi.
- Oh. Yeah...that's what I meant. She's practically as old as me, you know.
+ Of course I know.
Belldandy is so understanding. There's this patent sameness to her. Like
every time you talk to her she's going to say the same predictable thing,
over and over and over and over again. I suppose that's what I love about
her the most...that and how she cares for me. Like she was my freakin'
mother or something. She really gave up so much just to be with me, and
she's known me since childhood, being the same age that I am.
Not much has happened in our relationship so far. It's been over a year and
a half since she started living with me. I know what you're thinking-a guy
living with a girl. Woo Woo. But it's not like that, not at all. Our
relationship is so slow, so little has happened, that sometimes I'm more
reminded of living at home with mom than living with a girl. Or at
least...what I'd expect living with a girl to be like. For most people.
I sometimes think Belldandy and I really aren't made for each other, at
least in a clinical sense. Certainly a dating computer wouldn't have matched
the two of us. Neither of us have had much experience with relationships
beforehand. I had been so obsessed with my machines that I never seemed to
have the time to meet people. And Belldandy had been in the opposite
situation...in the unenviable position of meeting so many people that she
never got to meet any of them. It would be good for both of us to date
people that were more experienced, who knew what a relationship should be
and was willing to work for it, who knew how to express anger and jealousy
as well as a warm sense of satisfaction. Of course, despite all of this,
Belldandy and I had the perfect relationship. But...if nothing more, it was
easy to imagine that things could be different.
**
I didn't really need to be there. Skuld was doing all the work...putting the
basic figures in the computer, dragging the mouse around, and watching a
computer representation of the frame pop up. I was just making small talk.
But...well, I wouldn't want her to think I was using her. If I dropped the
schemes off and left the room, she'd think I was making her do the work so I
could have fun, or that I was giving her work that wasn't really necessary.
I wouldn't want her to think that.
"So how do you like Earth?"
"Oh...I like it actually. There's a certain quality to heaven. Everything's
almost...happy. You know, clouds, and surrealism, and the intentions of
everybody and everything are obvious. You might call it a dream-like state.
But living on the Earth...I've really gotten to enjoy it. You don't know
what might happen, and the consequences of your actions are so much more
real and irreversible. It's almost...almost addictive."
"So that's why you've come back to the Earth plane so much lately?"
"Yes, it is."
"That's interesting."
"Mmm..."
"But...Well..."
"Yes?"
"I don't know how to say this..."
"Yes?"
"Well...I'd appreciate time to be alone with Belldandy. Maybe...I'd still
like to see you, of course, but maybe not quite as often."
She looked at me, a little stunned.
"Jerk," she said. I stared back at her.
"I'm sorry. But I'd still love to have you around."
"Great," she said, sarcastically.
"I mean...you're a big help with the motor club, like right now."
She wasn't responding. I waited a few minutes.
"So two motorcycle races...and so close to each other...hard to believe,
isn't it? I wonder why they didn't hold off another month?"
She still wasn't responding. I waited a few more minutes. It wasn't hard to
wait. If anything, time flew.
"It's great to have the help of three goddesses for the race."
She finally responded.
"Don't patronize me! I'm only doing this to make my sister happy! I'm
certainly not doing it because of you! You're a jerk with no personality,
and I can't believe my sister's even thinking of getting married to a mortal
like you!"
She said it with a certain amount of spunk, with an anger that you knew
withheld nothing. Nobody else did that, at least not to such a degree. I
found it irresistible. I...I leaned towards her. I almost kissed her. I
really wanted to.
"Keiichi?" she asked. She knew something weird was going on. She must have
known what.
I looked at her face. It was so beautiful. Her skin was lithe, with a
certain amount of youthful plumpness that could only partially belie her
developing sexuality, the incredible reservoires of feminity that lied only
minutely beneath the surface. Looking at her...it was impossible to
distinguish between the beautiful girl she was and the beautiful woman I
knew she would become. Oh god...I wanted to kiss her. More than anything
else I've ever wanted. It seemed like every essence of my existence, every
instinct in my body, was drawing me towards this action. I wanted to kiss
her. She looked so beautiful. I had to kiss her. I turned to leave the room.
**
Hello! Hope you liked the story!
This story is kind of based on the ideas expressed in the "Skuld" part of
the "Three Sisters Trilogy." I think the other two stories are going to get
similar treatment.
Since writing this story I've seen the movie "Lolita" (Stanly Kubrik's
worst), and looked for the book, only to find my local library refused to
carry it (Errr!).
If you liked this stories, or you have any suggestions or comments, I would
appreciate a reply.
Thanks for reading,
McKinley
(
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