(The scamps is still at the olds place)

Stan: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY!

Kyle: YOU BASTARDS!

Crystal: How did you guys know?

Kyle: I don't know.

Stan: We just.... felt like he died.

Crystal: Oh.

(Kenny appears in the back of the others)

Kenny: (Hi guys!)

Stan: Kenny?

Kenny: (No it's my twin-brother.)

Stan: You have a twin-brother?

Kenny: (of course not! I was kidding, dumbass!)

Stan: Oh.

Kenny: (So how's Cartman doing?)

Kyle: We don't know.

Crystal: Yeah that's why we are here. Two ladies thought that I was their daughter.

Lady 2: Connie! Do you want to hear a story from when I was young?

(Counselors office)

(The counselor and a doctor are talking)

Counselor: Operate him?

Doctor: Of course! It's a new technique!

Counselor: Are you sure it will work?

Doctor: Yeah, it's 98% sure.

Counselor: Have you done it before?

Doctor: No.

(Back at the oldie's place)

Lady 2: And then my mom told me to go and buy some pork, and I said no!

Crystal (Totally bored): Really...

(Pan over to Stan, Kyle and Kenny. An old man sits and tells them a story. They seem bored)

Kenny: (I'm glad there are porno nowadays. I feel kinda sad for those people that didn't have television or porno-magazines.)

(The man lifts up Kenny by the head and shakes him)

Man: And then he lifted me like this! (Shakes Kenny harder)

(Zoom at Kenny's face - it goes pink.... orange.... tomatored)

Kenny: (AHHHH!)

Man: Shut up!

(Kenny dies, his face is bloodred)

Stan: OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED KENNY!

Kyle: YOU BASTARDS!

Crystal: Poor Kenny.

Kyle: Yeah.

Man: I'm sorry, Alexander and Jonathan.

Stan: Dude, our name is NOT Alexander and Jonathan. It's Stanley and Kyle!

Man: Whatever.

Kyle: You know something? I f**king hate you, you f**king bastard, cuz you f**king killed Kenny, so you can go to hell and eat some f**king donkeyshit and go f**k your Uncle Satan!

Man: My uncle's name is not Satan, it's Ben! And you should not swear like that, becuz God doesn't like when you swear!

Kyle: I don't give it a rat's ass what God likes or don't like, cuz I'm a Jew!

Man: A Jew! (Screaming) IT'S A JEW OVER HERE! LET'S GET HIM!

Kyle: AHHHHH!

(The scamps starts running away)

(Pan to the old - they running *ahem, maybe they not running, but they try.... * some of them with rods and wheelchairs)

Lady in a wheelchair: DIEEEE!

Kyle: AHHHH! NURSES! DOCTORS! HELLLLLLLLP!

Stan: Dude!

Doctor: What's going on?

Kyle: Those people tries to kill me cuz I'm Jewish!

Doctor: Which people?

Stan: The old people on the second floor. They killed our friend Kenny!

Doctor: (Laughs a little) That was a good story, boys, but the people at second floor are friendly and nice.

Crystal: Yeah, in my ass.

Stan: Do you know where Eric Cartman is?

Doctor: He's going to be operated.

Stan: Oh.

(Doctor leaves)

(The old people appears again)

Crystal: Kyle, look!

Kyle: Huh?

(He turns around and sees them)

Kyle: Oh my god!

(They run away again)

Stan: Dude, I don't think you should have told him that you're Jewish.

Kyle: (Sarcastically) Oh, really? Stan, you're a genius.

Man2: Kill him!

Lady3: The Jew must die!

Man: Kill the anti-Christ!

Kyle: Oh no!

Crystal: We have to hide you.

Stan: This is insane!

(Operation room)

(Cartman lies on an operation-table.)

(It's dramatic music like the opeartionscene in "SOUTH PARK: B,L,U"

(There are doctors all around him)

Doctor: No... A little there, no at the right...lay it down.)

Nurse: Look that looks like the part of a V-chip.

Doctor: Damn Vosknocker! The fat-- I mean kid can die cuz of this!

Doctor2: Pick it out.

(Doctor3 whistles)

(Doctor2 seems annoyed)

Doctor2: Jennings, will you stop that, I can't concentrate!

Doctor3: Oh, sorry.

(He starts to whistle again)

(Toilet, somewhere at the hospital)

Crystal: Dude! I never have been at the men's toilet before.

Kyle: I'm chased by some Jew-hating crazy people and you think about that you never been at the men's toilet before!

Crystal: I was just saying that I have never been at the men's toilet before. You need to calm down, dude; they can't find you here!

Stan: Crystal is right. I mean, we're at the toilet at the first floor!

(Someone's starts dunk at the door)

Kyle: Oh shit!

Someone: Hello! There are people here that need the toilet!

Crystal: Uh...

Stan: We... I mean, I have diarrhea!

Someone: Oh. Can you please hurry a little?

Stan: Um, I try but I can't promise anything.

(Olds place)

Man: Elizabeth, David, Karl, Harriet and Maureen check the first floor. Helen, Ben, Josh, Tate and I

take the second.

Woman: I want to drink some more tea.

Man: That is what is women's doing all the time! My first wife Jeanette...no it was my second wife Rita from Spain...No, I screwed it up; it was my seventh wife Geraldine that always drinked tea...That was so annoying!

Man2: We don't care, Donald.

(Toilet)

Crystal: Hey! I came up with an idea!

Kyle: What?

(Whispering)

Stan: Hey yeah! Where did Kenny get those doctors stuff?

Kyle: I don't know.

Crystal: To the second part of the plan:

We have to find out where Cartman's operation is.  After that, the patients are put into a wake up-room.

Kyle: So?

Crystal: Then, after he woke up, we have to get our asses, and fatso's ass, out of here quick. Then we will figure out a way to get us back to South Park. K?

(Operation room)

(Kyle, Stan and Crystal are dressed up like doctors)

Doctor: We're done.

Stan: Dude, I hate operations.

Kyle: No no no no no no! DON'T PUKE!

Crystal: Shh! (Whispering) Remember we're doctors now!

Kyle: (Whispering) Sorry, dude

Doctor: Oh, look, its time for lunch!

Other Doctors: Yeah!

(The doctors leave)

Crystal: Now, Quick!

(They roll the table out of the room - to the wake-up-thingy-room (Sorry, guys, I don't know what you call it in english!))

(Wake up thingy room)

(They roll in the operation-table.)

(Cartman sits up in the bed.)

Kyle: Who are you?

Crystal: Cartman.... Cartman....

Cartman: I'm...I'm...man.... Bat.... Yeah! I know who I am! I'm Batman

(Kyle knocks his head in the wall)

Cartman: Oh no! I have to go fight some thieves. See you guys later?

Crystal: No! Who am I, Batman?

Cartman: You're Robin! Come on let's fly!

Crystal: No, Cartman, I'm CRYSTAL! 

(She hits Cartman in the head)

(Cartman faints again)

Crystal: I hope it worked.

Kyle: I don't know.

(Cartman wakes up once again)

Crystal: Who are you?

Cartman: I'm Eric Cartman.

Crystal: Yes, it worked!

Kyle: Yeah!

Stan: Cool!

Cartman: But who are you guys?

Stan: I'm Stan, this is Kyle and that is Crystal.

Cartman: Oh.

(Thinks hard)

Cartman: Yeah! You're Wussy, and you're Jewboy and that's the Hippiefreak. Where's the poor ass?

Kyle: Kenny?

Cartman: Yeah?
Kyle: He died.

Cartman: Died?

Stan: Yeah dude! He dies every week, remember?

Cartman: Uh...yeah.

Crystal: We have to get out of here quick. We're at third floor right now, right?

Stan: Yeah.

Crystal: Ok, Cartman, don't ask us anything, just lay down, k?

Cartman: Sure.

(They roll the table out of the wake up thingy room.)

("Help" with Beatles starts to play)

(We see it from above, they roll it into an evaluator)

(They are at first floor now. We see second-floor-guys)

(They turn around with the table.)

(Then they seem to remember they're in doctors outfit.)

(They get out of the hospital)

(The song stops playing)

Crystal: We did it!

Stan: Cool!

Kyle: Wait a minute, how are we supposed to get home?

Cartman: What?

Crystal: Taxi?

Stan: But we don't have enough money.

Crystal: Everyone checks their pockets.

(They check their pockets)

Crystal: I don't have any.

Kyle: Me either.

Stan: Nope.

(They look at Cartman)

Crystal: Dude.

Cartman: Why are you guys looking at me?
Crystal: Do you have any money?

Cartman: No, I spend the last money on a cheesy poof's package.

Stan: Aw!

Kyle: What are we supposed to do now?

(Chef's house)

(The phone rings)

Chef: (O.S) Wait a minute, ladies.

(We see Chef and he answers)

Chef: Hello?

Stan: Chef?

Chef: Stan?

Stan: Yeah, it's me, and I, uh, and the guys, we're at the hospital.

Chef: What?

Stan: You see, Crystal hit Cartman by the head and then he got some f**ked up thing, so he thought he was Bastion Balthazar Bux in that book "The never-ending story", so then we took him to the hospital, and he went through some kinda operation, while some crazy Jew-hating people chased Kyle and wanted to kill him becuz of his believes, and Crystal came up with a plan, so we got Cartman out of the hospital, and then we realized we didn't have enough money to a taxi, so then we were like: "Hey! We call Chef", and here we are.

Chef: Oh. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Stan: Thanks Chef.

(Stan lay's down the phone)

(Chef is still holding the phone)

Chef: Will those guys ever stop get in troubles?

(Hospital)

(Chef's car is driving up)

Chef: Hey kids! Over here!

(The scamps walk up to the car)

Crystal: Thank God you're here!

Stan: Dude, those people are totally screwed up, they killed Kenny.

Cartman: My head hurts.

Kyle: Now get us out of here before this f**ked up people kill me!

(They jump in the car and leaves)

(Later - Bus stop)

(Chef drops them of.)

Stan: Thanks Chef.

Kyle: Yeah.

Chef: No problems, children.

(The car leaves)

Crystal: This was a really f**ked up day.

Stan: Get used to it.

Cartman: it wouldn't be so f**ked up if you didn't hit me, hippiefreak!

Crystal: DIE!

(She starts beating him up)

Stan: Here we go again.

Kyle: Uh-huh.

(Cartman faints)

Crystal: Whoops.

Kyle: Dude.

(He wakes up)

Crystal: Cartman?

Cartman: I'm not Cartman, I'm Scooby Doo. SCOOBY DOBEE DOO!

Stan: Aw, hell.

[Credits]

("HELP!" with Beatles starts to play again.)