Keebler Elves



It seemed like a nice normal day in the Elven glen. Little
workers running around, bringing food and ingredients to the
old tree. Everything was a bustle, the sun was shinning
brightly and smiling down upon the elf colony.

Inside the old oak everything was even busier. Ingredients
were being poured into vats of chocolate chip cookie dough,
or potatoes were being dipped in boiling oils and fats of
different flavors like dill and onion. Fumes of the
wonderful food were wafting to the outside world. Life
seemed perfect for Keebler, Chip and all the elves.

Little did they know that two elves had turned bad. The
night before Bob and a some strange female elf named June had
been captured by humans. No one cared, because the elves
lived alone and thought no one could hurt them. The two were
never discovered missing and were brought back before a new
day of work started. But that night had been enough to
change them both.

What had happened first was the demented 2 teenagers had
captured them, and then fed them things like leaves and
grass. Finally the elves broke their vow of silence when in
contact with humans and said they wanted real food like
brownies, and chips and milk with cookies. Evil grins passed
the two teenage faces. They both raced out of the room and
brought back some brownies wrapped in cellophane, and a bag
of chips.

One of them carefully unwrapped one of the brownies as the
other one said

"Dude, this is gonna cost us a bundle to feed this to elves,
sure hope this turns out funny"

"Man! chill, it worked when I fed the same stuff to my
parakeet"

The second one then broke off a bit and gave a piece to each
elf. After a few minutes Bob and June started to feel funny,
a little dizzy and happy. The kids were munching on the
chips and laughing uncontrollably on the floor. Then Bob
collapsed, and just started staring at the ceiling of the
hamster cage.

"We should have the same yellow tinted plastic on the ceiling
of the tree"

Next thing Bob saw was June collapsing, and giggling
uncontrollably. What kind of brownies had these two
delinquents given them? But then again who cares? Bob was
thirsty and walked over to the water bottle and drank and
drank and drank, then he was hungry again, and started
banging on the glass. The two came over and gave him some
chips and brownies. This was a great time. Bob was really
enjoying himself.

Then all of the sudden June looked attractive. The duo
started egging the tiny being on saying

"Hit on her!!! Go for it! Get some tonight man! Whoo Whoo."

Bob was really feeling confident now, so like any high and
macho elf would he sauntered over to the water bottle where
June was batting her eyelashes. With a quick flash of wit
Bob pinched her butt and then said

"Hey babe, what is an elf like you doing in a cage like
this?"

Once again June just giggled and grabbed Bob's hand, the two
others were giving Bob the thumbs up.

Things were going great over in the tissues in the corner,
and then June passed out. Well now there was really nothing
to do, so he did a quickie and then started talking to the
druggies.

They talked late into the night about drugs, which Bob found
out was what made him feel so good. He found out about
alcohol, and all sorts of other things. It was close to dawn
when June woke up. Bob knew they had to be back or else.
What the else was Bob didn't know he just knew the or
else.... was always said by Keebler.

But Bob had become a rebel and had asked for some of the
stuff that the boys had given him so that he could give them
and laugh at the other elves. The two heartily agreed and
gave June and Bob each a backpack full of what they said was
pot and a bit of crack and speed. Then the two were off.

They got there just in time for work to start. Now was time
for Bob to put his evil plan into action. He and June snuck
in the building and poured a little bit of each drug into as
many vats as they could find. Then with just a bit left Bob
laced the soup in the cafeteria, and then went to work,
bringing in ingredients like always. This was his revenge,
revenge for always being made to do the same job day in and
day out and not knowing what a female elf looked like until
he met June. Once his plan was to work and Keebler was
ruined, he would take June and just have a bunch of fun.

That day right before lunch he went to the fields and picked
up some little goober berries for him and June, that way they
won't have to eat the soup. He ran to the cafeteria, and
found June just in time, she was getting in the soup line.
They ran off and went in the rafters and just watched as one
elf after another started to giggle and grab at the air until
even Keebler himself was giggling. You could hear him say..

"Hey chip, lets put some cyanide in the new line of cookies!
It sure would be elfin funny."

Bob knew they were ruined, by the time Keebler and the rest
got off the high him and June would be long gone and
everything made today would have been shipped.

With that he grabbed June and off they ran, they ran until
they got to the druggies house. There they found the two,
and asked to be put in the hamster cage. Life was good, a
brownie for desert every night, tons of fun with June, a cage
that had tens of rooms and little passage ways, good food,
and they even got to see the news. They even were able to
bribe the two friends to tape the first news broadcast they
saw, they especially like the part where they found out that
once the cookies were eaten and people started getting high
or dying a bunch of humans went in a lynch mob and burnt the
tree with Keebler in it. The two watched that every night,
and then had a little fun.



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