Solstice Hack

'Twas the night before solstice, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, except for the computer mouse;
The applications were running on UNIX because of the sysop's care,
In hopes that no hackers would ever break in there;

The users were staring all snug with no thoughts in their heads,
While visions of html-documents danced in their heads;
And mamma with her new laptop purchased, and I at my Mac,
Had just settled down for a mid-winter's hack,

When up on the screen arose such useless matter,
I sprang to ma's terminal if she knew what was the matter.
Away from the sysop's view, I typed like a flash,
Tore up a few files, and threw some in the trash.

The monitor on my face had a menacing glow
Gave the luster of mid-day to the keyboard below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a line to the milnet, and eight tiny passwords,

What lively old line, so incredibly quick,
I knew in a moment that this wasn't it!
But more rapidly I went back the same course I had came,
And then noticed some files, and read off their names;

Ohh credit card numbers, user names, and passwords galore
More addresses and phone numbers than I could ignore!
To the transfer protocols, to the hard disk I had installed!
I got all the files, and enough credit numbers to buy a mall!

As a new virus is so opt to make a computer fry
Another obstacle, came to my eye.
My lovely wife very well knew
That she had planted a virus and now my computer blew!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard her reproof
"Watch out for other hacker's dear, when getting rid of proof"
As I was typing with my hand to stop what was bound
I saw a blinking on my screen and then a horrible sound.

It was a file that was supposed to make me reboot,
And it had a smiley so sly and sooooo cute;
I could see her getting me back,
For the time I was arrogant and had refused to let her hack.

She was getting revenge! Ohh she was merry!
Now I was angry that I wanted her buried!
But then I was struck with an astounding blow,
She was better than me, and this I needed to know,

She could help me and teach,
Which methods would help me to reach.
The heart of the system, it's very belly,
That could make me rich if I lost all morality.

I was now not at all mad at her or myself,
But rather thinking deviously, how to be more evil than an elf;
We took to the keyboards and worked without dread,
That we wouldn't be caught, or left to actually WORK for our bread;

We spoke no more words and went straight to work,
Filling our hard drive with apps and files we knew we were jerks!
And when all was downloaded we both rose,
From our chairs, as we shut down our computers and all our windows closed;

It was a promise of ours to never harm a thistle
But a few credit card numbers never hurt a little.
As we went to bed, and then turned out the lights
We exclaimed "Merry hacking to all! and now we are going to have a GOOD night!"

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