If only women are as predicatable as this dictionary.
I admire them. But like all men, I don't understand them."
- Frank Sinatra
| What they say | What they mean |
| Yes. | No. |
| No. | Yes. |
| Maybe. | No. |
| I'm sorry. | You'll be sorry. |
| We need... | I want... |
| It's your decision. | The correct decision should be obvious by now. |
| Do what you think. | You'll pay for this later. |
| We need to talk. | I need to complain. |
| Sure, go ahead. | I don't want you to. |
| I'm not upset. | Of course I'm upset, you moron! |
| You're so manly. | You need a shave and you sweat a lot. |
| You're certainly attentive tonight. | Is sex all you ever think about? |
| Be romantic, turn off the lights. |
I have flabby thighs. |
| This kitchen is so inconvenient. | I want a new house. |
| I want new curtains. | and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... |
| Hang the picture there. | NO, I mean hang it there! |
| I heard a noise. | I noticed you were almost asleep. |
| Do you love me? | I'm going to ask for something expensive. |
| How much do you love me? | I did something today you're really not going to like. |
| I'll be ready in a minute. | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. |
| Is my butt fat? | Tell me I'm beautiful. |
| You have to learn to communicate. | Just agree with me. |
| Are you listening to me?! | (Too late, you're dead.) |
| Was that the baby? | Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep? |
| I'm not yelling! | Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important. |
| The same old thing. | Nothing. |
| Nothing. | Everything. |
| Everything. | My PMS is acting up. |
