A little S'pore humor ....

Subject: English vs Singlish

The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it effectively when communicating their intentions.

Just compare these few common phrases that S'poreans and Britons use to say the same thing.

It helps cut down on long distance phone conversation too.

Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment,

I can call the other outlets for you.

S'poreans: No Stock!

Returning a Call...

Britons: Hello, this is John. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

S'poreans: Hello, who page?

When someone is in the way...

Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Singaporeans: Lai, siam! or Siam, hor! or Skius!

When someone offers to pay...

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Singaporeans: No-nid. (no need)

When asking for permission...

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Singaporeans: (while pointing at door) Can or Not?

When entertaining...

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Singaporeans: Don't shy, leh!

When doubting someone...

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Singaporeans: Where got?

When declining an offer...

Britons: I'd prefer no to do that, if you don't mind.

Singaporeans: Doe-waaaan. (don't want)

When deciding on a plan of action...

Britons: What do you propose we do now that the movie's sold out and all the restaurants are closed?

Singaporeans: So how?

When asking someone if he/she knows you...

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?

Singaporeans: Stare what?