SOME REALLY GREAT PUNCHLINES

1. Because it ran out of juice!
   Here it is again, funnier! - Because it ran out of juice!
2. To stamp out flaming ducks!
3. Nothing. Pringle cans cannot talk!
4. I don't know, but I think it's an elephant!
5. That's because it has it's toenails painted red!
6. Four-Thirty!
7. My first day on the job and already I'm on a murder case!
8. (There was only a joke for this one; it had no punchline)
9. John Belushi (Why does everyone guess Neil Armstrong for this joke?)
10. Because his red one's were in the wash!
11. Because the punchlines were too long!
12. To hold his pants up!
13. Nope, I'm a frayed knot!
14. To get to the other side!
15. From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli...
16. Dang, this one doesn't have any shoes either!
17. But Grandma, the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
18. I don't think so. According to your clock, it's only 2115.
19. Sir he said the general told him that when the moon went down, and no-one could see, he was going to sneak out to his foxhole and...
20. Luigi, bring me my brown pants! (Ethnic joke, sorry if it offended anyone.)
21. Oh dear, I've forgotten who she was.
22. A big red rock-eater on a diet!
23. See what you get for five dollars?
24. Hey, don't forget the coffee!
25. Aren't you glad I didn't say `banana'?!?
26. So the Pope leaned over and slapped her.
27. The following are all for the same joke.
    1. One mines for minerals, the other dines on dinner rolls.
    2. One delves in his wells for iron, the other dwells on his elves a-fryin'
    3. One bored for the dwarves' ore, the other got bored with the hors deouvers (Whatever)
    4. One knows his picks, and one picks his nose!

Here's one more, but it may be offensive.
I'm calling you Polish because this is a hardware store!

There's something about this place in Contests. Hope you paid attention.

That's it... no more... I can't take it anymore. Send me to a dull spot, such as the main page.

Updated 28 Dec 00. Not any funnier now.