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Humour and Jokes


Contractors
Three contractors were touring the white house on the same day. One was 
from New York, another from Missouri, and the third from Florida. At the 
end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living.  

When they each replied that they were contractors the guard said "Hey, 
we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys look at it and 
give me a bid." 

So to the back fence they went. First up was the Florida contractor. He 
took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well 
I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my 
crew, and $100 profit for me." 

Next was the Missouri contractor. He also took out his tape measure and 
pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this Job 
for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." 

Then the guard asks the New York contractor how much. Without so much as
moving the contractor says, $2700." 

The guard, incredulous, looks at him and says "You didn't even measure
like the guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" 

"Easy" says the contractor from New York, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you 
and we hire the guy from Missouri." 

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