So you want to know more about the brilliant mastermind behind this fabulous webpage, eh?
Ever since i was young, each time a birthday came up, i would always do something dramatic to make it unforgettable. On my 8th birthday, i climbed the rickety ladder leading up to my friend's treehouse. On my 11th bday, i traded my favorite Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card. Last year, i actually changed the direction of my hair part. Yeah, it's true. You could say i'm a daredevil, but i just like to live an exciting life. This year, on my 19th bday, i decided to complete this homepage... Maybe next year, i'll buy some clip-on earrings and pretend to have an earring.
On February 23, 1979, in the then relatively unpolluted city of Seoul, Korea, Sung Hoon Uhm (the one and only) was born. In a matter of months, my family moved to Los Angeles and lived in a crappy apartment.
FOND MEMORIES OF LA
1. When my mom left me next to some water fountain and pretended to sadistically walk away with her friends while i cried my eyes out and almost fell into the fountain.
2. When my dad said he was a "magician" cause he chose non-hot peppers out of a salad. I wanted to be cool like my dad, so i selected and ate a random pepper. I ended up sucking on ice cubes for 2 hours.
3. When my cousins bought a ping-pong-shooting gun. They came over and shot me silly.
My dad's job required that we move to Houston, Texas. By this time, my sister, Jin Uhm, born in the City of Angels, had joined the unequaled Uhm Clan. Houston was so hot, you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. We moved to Houston and lived in a crappy apartment.
FOND MEMORIES OF HOUSTON
1. When my family and i started to pull the weeds. To our dismay, we discovered that the "weeds" we were pulling were actually grass. We had the worst yard in the county.
2. When I played the beautiful sport of T-Ball. I could never quite hit the ball, only the thing holding the ball, so each time i swung, the ball would move like 5 cm away. My dad got pissed off, so he bought me a t-ball set to practice. After much perseverance, my T-ball game improved.
3. When I entered a Taekwondo tournament as a yellow belt. I had to spar with a green belt girl. She "accidentally" jumpkicked me in the face. I started to cry and both my nostrils were bloody... and this was in front of my parents. Suddenly, i had a burning desire to "accidentally" kick that girl's face too, but i restrained myself. I quit soon after.
Eventually, my dad's job required us to go east. Since we were kinda poor, we first lived with my cousins (the same ones listed in L.A. Fond Memory #3), then we moved nearby to Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Since we were kinda poor, we had to live in a crappy apartment complex.
FOND MEMORIES OF NEW JERSEY
1. When some kid named Brian Fong kept making fun of me and my last name. He'd tease, "James umm...umm..Uhm?" and being the pacifist that i was, i accepted it. One day, i got so annoyed, i screamed, "SHUT UP BRIAN FONGSHILONGFONG!" He looked at me with a shocked expression and never teased me again.
2. When I tried to avoid all the roadkills on the road by my house on my bike. I was concentrating so hard on the roadkills, i almost became a roadkill myself. I apologized to the 20-something driver, and he replied with a rude expletive and middle finger.
3. When my cousins and i played "GUNS." What a great game! It's basically tag with the addition of lego-made guns. We'd shout out gun sounds and people would die. Actually, now that i think about it, it was kinda hard determining who died and who didn't, but hell, it was awesome then!
After some economic woes, the Uhm Clan was starting to ascend the ladder of success. We eventually moved to Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love, where we could finally afford to live in a crappy house.
FOND MEMORIES OF PHILADELPHIA
1. When I went to my first dance social. I used to be a scared little boy and i didn't have the balls to ask any girls. It was almost time to go, when my crush, a girl named Liz Syben came up to me and asked, "James, what the heck are you doing? You've been sitting there the whole time! C'mon!" and then she led me to the dance floor. The song was "Lady in Red." I stepped on her feet four times. It was truly unforgettable.
2. When I got into a fight with some racist dork named Peter. I pushed him and then the dork spit at me. We set up a time to fight each other. I told him i was gonna bust his dorky ass with my "awesome" taekwondo skills. The racist dork got scared and apologized.
3. When I was about to leave for Korea, and all my friends had a surprise goodbye party for me. For the first time in my life, i didn't want to move away.
Just when everyone was starting to get accustomed to life in Philly, my dad was offered a prestigious job as president of Han Kang Hotel in Seoul, Korea. After much thought, it was decided that Korea was the best thing for the Uhm Family. Even though we had a lot of money, due to the ridiculous land value in Seoul, we went back to living in a crappy apartment.
FOND MEMORIES OF SEOUL
1. When i engaged in my first Uhm Clan gathering. I never saw so many Uhms in one room before. It was touching and even though i couldn't communicate that well with most of them, i could feel the love that bonded all of us Uhms together.
2. When i first began to be thankful for being a Korean in Korea. It took a long time for my resentment of Koreans to subside (as i always compared Korea to America), but my bitterness gradually died down and was replaced by a new, growing appreciation that made me proud and blissful at times. I especially "appreciated" the Korean women. hahaha...
3. When i began to attend Seoul Foreign School in the fall of 1990. There i was blessed to acquire both knowledge and lifelong friends. Words cannot describe how much i loved that school, the people, and those times.
Now, i am in Medford, Mass. attending Tufts University and living in a really crappy dorm. I am no longer under the protection of the Uhm umbrella. Often, the hard rain hits me and i become wet and long to go back to that sanctuary where i am safe. But i realize that the journey called life cannot always be nice and easy. And the only things that keep me going amid the turmoil of life are my dreams of the future and my nostalgic memories of the past.
Go back to main page