"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" This awful cry, an expression of pure rage and frustration at all the annoying complexities of life, resounded down shadowy corridors and echoed hollowly off dead stone walls. All who heard the sound paused for a moment, profoundly reached by its utter hopelessness. Or maybe they just wondered who the heck was making all the noise...
Jadeite sighed. His emotional outburst had made him feel only marginally better, and he plopped down in a comfy chair. Failing to defeath the Sailor Senshi was one thing, but now...
He glared malevolently at the small, innocent-looking bowl sitting on the table, a plastic Simba spoon beside it. Jadeite's strange, purple-tinted eyes narrowed. "How DARE you," he growled. "Going back on your word, you little double-crossing, backstabbing-" Unable to think of a word awful enough to describe the utter evil of his foe, he trailed off.
"You," Jadeite whispered, eyes flashing balefully, "were SUPPOSED to stay crunchy in milk."
The bowl of Crispex just sat there soggily.
Pressing a button on the arm of the chair, Jadeite began to relax a little. He was glad he'd let the guy down at Laz-e-Boy talk him into a vibrating massage chair; it really eased the stress.
Suddenly the chair gave a final, violent shudder and died.
"Oh, great. That's just GREAT!" Jadeite yelled in disgust, jumping to his feet. He sent an energy ballto destroy the uncooperative cereal; unfortunately, in the process the Simba spoon was reduced to a puddle of plastic goo. The stench was horrible. He was very tempted to cry.
"Why me?" Jadeite whimpered. "Well, things can't get any worse..."
Oh, poor, misguided Jade-kun! When will you ever learn? As soon as that line is uttered, things begin to go fortuitously wrong...
He stood in the throne room, fists clenched, shaking with utter rage. Beryl was telling him off! Like it was HIS fault those obnoxious Sailor Senshi always spoiled his wonderfully creative plans...
Well, tonight he'd have to confront them. Jadeite just hoped he'd do all right; Beryl didn't trust him with another youma, and the senshi were actually pretty tough when working together. Still, if he COULD beat them, it'd be a very stress-relieving experience.
Jadeite was rather looking forward to the meeting at the airport that evening...
Jade-kun giggled a little as he watched the three terrified Sailor Senshi running for their lives. Using telekinetic energy to chase them with airplanes - not a bad idea on his part. He could kill them at any time, of course, but it was much for fun to play with them first. They OWED him for all the sleep he'd lost, all the blows to his self-esteem... And just when he decided to destroy them once and for all...
*SPLAT!*
Something squishy and slightly wet hit him squarely in the back. Startled, Jadeite jumped a bit, his hold on the planes failing as they drifted to a stop.
"in the name of Planet Earth, I order you to stop terrorizing these girls!"
The voice sounded very familiar. Glancing down, Jadeite realized that the object he'd been struck with was a ball of mud. "Damn, he thought, "I just had this uniform dry cleaned..."
The voice behind him proudly proclaimed, "I am Sailor Earth!"
Time stood still as Jadeite turned slowly to confront his attacker... and almost fainted.
This new Senshi had the typical white fuku, with a black skirt and bow, shiny black boots, and a glittering black jewel on the tiara. The Senshi also sported a shock of short balck hair and an all-too-familiar white mask.
"T... Tuxedo Kamen?!" Jadeite gasped, utterly incredulous.
"Hey, they're all princesses of their respective planets, and I'm Prince of Earth, sooo..."
Pale and trembling, Jadeite backed away, trying to rid himself of the sight of Mamoru in a miniskirt. He was so frightened he stepped right off the edge of the platform he'd been watching the Senshi from.
Luckily the pain was quickly eclipsed by unconsciousness.
Yes, that's the end. Yes, I'm evil.