As soon as he opened his eyes, Justin knew he wasn't alone. He sat up in bed, slowly, his head throbbing lightly. He put his hand to his forehead, glancing at the body curled next to him, smooth, tan back turned to him. Aww, Jesus, he didn't even know who it was!

Justin wasn't a drinker. It's not like he was used to waking up naked in bed with a stranger. He couldn't even figure out why he held that party last night, why he let those crazy soon-to-be frat boys into his house, beer under one arm, desperate high school girl on the other. He guessed it was expected, with his parents gone for the weekend. Maybe he wanted to fit in more than he thought he did. Seventeen years of asserting his position as an individual, the nonconformist of the class, just to discover he was a lonely poser, like everyone else.

He slid back down in his bed, palms pressed firmly into his eyelids. His brain felt like it was mashing against his skull, trying desperately to escape his head.

The body beside him stirred and rolled over.

Shit, here comes the moment of truth.

Justin rolled over, laying face to face with his new lover, slowly opened his eyes, and ---

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Both parties screamed, sending Justin tumbling right off the side of the bed. He landed on his side with a thud.

"Owww," he mumbled.

"Hey, you OK?"

Justin looked up at the pretty blonde on his bed...the pretty blonde boy on his bed. Justin stared, eyes wide, his fuzzy brain trying to make sense of the situation. He sat up, blinked a few times, and shook his head.

"Freakin' A, Justin, you scared the crap outta me, screaming like that."

"Kurt...what the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"Oh, nothing, just hanging around, figured I'd stop by for coffee --- what the hell do you think I'm doing?" he rolled his eyes.

Justin furrowed his brow and glared up at him. He racked his brain, searching for the chronology of last night.

OK, I remember my first two beers...then watching the keg stand in the kitchen...ohh, then the Twister game, I'll have to repress that later...

"Justin?" Kurt asked quietly. "Earth to Justin, come in, Justin!"

"Hmm?" he slowly awoke from his thoughts, staring into clear pools of crystal blue. Oh, he did not like the look in Kurt's eyes, not at all.

Kurt smiled warmly and reached out to brush Justin's brown bangs from his face. Justin quickly reached up and slapped the hand away before his fingertips could even brush his forehead.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kurt frowned, pulling his hand back against his body. "I was just making sure you're OK." His face brightened again, "I was afraid you landed right on that cute ass of yours. Wouldn't want you to hurt that, now, would we?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Justin said as he pushed himself up and stood in front of Kurt, an annoyed look on his face.

Kurt's eyes traveled up and down Justin's body, and he sighed softly. Justin looked down at himself and cursed, grabbing a blanket off the bed and wrapping it around his waist.

"What's wrong, Justin?"

"You're giving me that look. Stop giving me that look."

"What look?"

"The Dreamy Look."

Kurt laughed. "I can't help it. You're just so cute ---"

"I am not cute."

"You are too, you're adorable."

"I am not cute, and you shouldn't been thinking I'm cute."

Things were rapidly progressing downhill, and Justin knew it. There was no way this conversation could end well.

"But after last night ---"

Oh, dear god, there it was.

"--- how could I not think you're cute? Especially that thing you do with your tongue..." Kurt drifted off, the Dreamy Look plastered on his face.

Justin could think of only one way to respond to that statement: he screamed his head off.

Kurt launched off the bed, covering Justin's mouth with his hand to stifle the yelling. They toppled onto the floor again.

"Justin, shut up! People'll think you're being murdered!"

He stopped yelling and stared at Kurt, scooting away from him. "This is not happening, this is not happening. It isn't real. It's a bad dream, just a really bad dream. Oh, fuck me!"

"I think that's already been done..."

Justin stopped his rant and glared coldly at Kurt. "This isn't funny, asshole! Don't you find this the least bit disturbing?"

"Yeah, I do; you don't usually act like this big of a jerk."

"So this is all some big joke, huh? Let's fuck with Justin's head, right?"

"It's not your head that ---"

"Stop that!"

Justin stood and paced around the room, gathering pieces of his hastily discarded clothing. He quickly pulled on his boxers and a tee shirt, then gathered up Kurt's clothing and tossed it at him. He caught them --- directly in the face.

"Hey, man, watch it!"

"Shut up."

The blonde slipped on his underwear and tee shirt, carefully watching Justin as he dressed. Justin continued pacing, mumbling to himself.

There's something wrong here. Something terribly wrong. I don't think this is a joke anymore. If it is, it's not fucking funny. But, damn it, I can't remember what happened last night! Kurt's such a smart-ass. He's probably playing this up, trying to freak me out. Fuck.

"Hey, Justin, chill, will you?"

Justin plopped onto the foot of the bed, head buried in his hands. "You chill."

Kurt walked over and sat beside him, tentatively.

"Uhn, I never should've drank so much..."

"Umm, Justin?" Kurt asked gently, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Hmm?" he moved his hand to see the boy.

"You weren't that drunk."

Justin just stared at him, an evil smile crossing his lips. He grabbed a pillow from the floor and promptly whacked the boy upside the head.

"Oww, hey!"

"How many times do I have to tell you this isn't funny?"

"I'm not the one startin' a pillow fight," he mumbled in response.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as they thought of what to say next. If Justin was the least bit observant, he might've noticed Kurt staring at him longingly. He might've realized how much the boy liked him, seen how much he was hurting him. He might've avoided a messy confrontation. He might've...unfortunately, Justin wasn't always the brightest crayon in the box.

"Hey, Kurt," Justin finally said, breaking the silence, "what really happened last night?"

Kurt stared at him in vague disbelief. "You really don't remember?" Pain crossed his face, but he shoved it away. "Repressing your memories again, huh? Selective memory...typical of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Justin said, sitting up straighter, comforted by Kurt's satire.

"It's just that I've been your friend for three years now. I know things about you. Like the fact that you conveniently forget certain awkward situations."

"Yeah, like what?"

"Like last year when you went nuts over that stupid cheerleader chick."

"Crystal?"

"Yeah, her."

"I never really liked her."

"Oh, you say that now, after she rejected you a billion times."

"Shut up, I don't know what you're talking about."

"See? There you go again! It's like talking to a wall," Kurt said, throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis. He turned to him, taking a more serious tone. "Of all the girls in the school, you had to go after her, didn't you? You couldn't settle for Brenda or Megan, or some other nice, normal girl. I know for a fact that Megan is crazy about you. But did you want her? Oh, no! You had to have the little homecoming princess, didn't you?" He sighed.

So I have a habit of going after girls who're out of my league.

"You have a habit of going after girls who're out of your league, you know that?"

I hate it when he does that.

"Oh, yeah, like I do it on purpose. 'Hey, I think I'll go after the girl least likely to date me. That sounds like a good plan.'"

Kurt raised an eyebrow and gave him a knowing smile. "Sounds about right to me."

Justin snorted and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The fan made slow, hypnotic circles. Kurt lay down beside him, on his side, head propped up in his hand.

"Seriously, did something really happen last night?" Justin said, not looking at him.

"A lot of things happened last night."

"You know what I mean. Between us." He couldn't decide if he really wanted to know the answer to his question.

Kurt shifted, lying flat on his stomach, head turned towards his friend. He mumbled something inaudible and sighed. "Well, you remember drinking, right?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"You weren't really drinking that much, only a couple of beers," he blushed slightly. "Not like I was watching you or anything. I was busy drinking, too, ya know. Everyone was drinking; hell, it was a drinking party. What possessed you to do that, anyway? You're not a drinker, why would you ---"

"Kurt, you're stalling."

He sighed and continued. "OK, OK, umm...well, you'd been drinking, and I guess you were on your third beer, and...do you remember the Twister game? Nevermind, maybe it's better you forgot."

Justin blushed.

"Umm, anyway, after that, I saw you follow that new girl you like upstairs."

"Lily."

"Yeah, Lily," there was an edge to Kurt's voice as he said her name. "I don't know what happened after that, but I saw her again a little later, leaving with that asshole Bill."

I remember what happened after that. God, women can be cruel. She didn't have to laugh when I asked her out. Just because she's popular, she thinks she can do whatever she wants no matter who it hurts. Bitch.

"By that time everyone was leaving. I was going to go, too, so I went upstairs to say goodbye, see if you needed any help cleaning up. You were in your room, just staring out the window. You looked...really sad..."

"So you stayed with me?"

"Yeah, I wanted to see what was up with you. I don't know what happened between you and her, but it sure as hell wasn't good. She's not your type, anyway, Justin. Too high class, too preppy. I don't understand why you keep chasing after girls you can never have."

Justin sat up again, frustration showing in his voice. "I don't know, Kurt, ok? I don't fucking know. And I don't care right now. What happened next?"

Kurt sat up, also, and frowned. It looked so out of place on his handsome, normally cheerful face. "You started...you were crying...I've never seen you cry before, even when your computer ate your research paper. You just curled up in my arms and cried...I don't think you should drink again, man. You just can't hold your liquor."

"Damn it, Kurt, stop fooling around. How'd we end up in bed together, huh?" his voice rose, anxiety entering.

"I'm not fooling around!" Kurt retaliated, jumping to his feet. He spun on Justin, "I can't believe you don't remember! You weren't that drunk, you weren't..." his voice faded off into a whisper.

Slowly, pieces of last night broke through the haze, tiny moments of time captured by his mind. He saw himself resting his head against the smaller boy's shoulder as Kurt held him, whispering to comfort him. He remembered the warmth of the other boy, the feel of his mouth as he covered his face with tender kisses. He felt like he was going to be sick.

Kurt's blue eyes softened, "You don't remember kissing me, do you? You don't remember taking me in your arms, holding me...you sure as hell don't remember making love to me, do you? Do you?!"

Justin stared at him. "I...I..." Justin rose to his feet, and Kurt's heart skipped a beat. "I think I'm going to be sick."

With that, he turned and ran from the room, hand covering his mouth. Kurt heard the door of the bathroom slam shut.

He narrowed his eyes in disgust. "What the hell do you think this is? The Crying Game?"

He quickly followed down the hall and opened the door. Justin was kneeling on the floor, leaning over the toilet. He finished retching and looked up as Kurt walked in.

"Damn it, Justin, I hope that's just from you drinking too much." He kneeled beside him, reaching out to help him up. "Come on, let's clean you up."

Justin pulled back from him, knocking his arms away, "Stay the hell away from me."

Kurt stared at him in shock, then gritted his teeth and grabbed him, pulling him to his feet. "We don't have time for this. You're parents are coming home tonight." He ignored Justin's protests as he dragged him to the sink and let him rinse his mouth out. He went over to the shower and turned on the water, waiting for it to get hot. As the small room filled with steam, he went back over to Justin. He wrapped his fingers around the bottom of his shirt, trying to slip it off. Justin pulled away again.

"What the hell are you doing now?"

"I was trying to clean you up. You look like shit."

"I can undress myself."

"Fine, then do it and take a shower. I'll be in your room," Kurt spat, then quickly left the room.

Justin stared after him for a few moments, then undressed and stepped into the shower. He stayed in there until his fingers were wrinkled and his skin was red from the heat of the water. He let the droplets pound into his face and chest, trying to flush the memories and the heartache from his body.

I've been here long enough. Better go face the music.

He got out of the shower, dried off, and tiptoed down the hallway, back to his room, terrycloth towel wrapped tightly around his waist. As he reached his door, he heard Kurt sniffling and trying desperately to steady his breathing. Justin stood in the doorway, watching the delicate shoulders of his slight body shuddering with each breath. There was something so innocent and beautiful about him. Justin felt a sharp pain where he always believed his heart had been.

What have I done? I didn't mean to hurt him. He's one of my best friends. He's always been there for me. It's just, I mean, I don't like boys!

Justin took a deep breath and attempted to slip across the room without being noticed. He had almost made it to his dresser when he walked into his desk chair.

"Ow, shit!" he snapped. That'll teach me to stare at him when I'm trying to walk.

Kurt sat up straight and spun to look at him. To Justin's surprise, his blue eyes were perfectly dry.

"Sorry. Just trying to get some clean clothes."

"Whatever. It's your room." The ice in his voice contrasted sharply with the pain in his eyes.

Justin quickly pulled on a shirt and jeans and moved to sit beside Kurt. Better say something to fix this mess.

"Yo, man, I'm sorry about how I was acting, earlier, I ---"

Kurt turned away from him; "I don't care. It doesn't matter. Not like I wanted this or anything. I'm not some fag, OK? Just forget about it. Nothing happened."

Justin reached out to touch his arm; it was Kurt's turn to smack him away.

"Oh, who's acting childish now, dork?" he said, smacking him back.

"Dork? You're the only person who still uses that word. Dork." Kurt smacked him again. "Fuck you."

"Fuck you, too."

"Again?"

"Damn it, Kurt!" Justin shuddered. "Gross," he whined.

He glared at the brunette. "Am I that repulsive to you?"

"That's not the question. You're a guy. It's a moot point."

Kurt stared at the ground. "I thought it was consensual, you know. I thought you wanted to. I mean, you were on top ---"

Justin resisted the urge to clamp his hands over his ears and hum loudly.

"--- so, I mean, it's not like I raped you or anything. I would never..."

The look on his face...he's so sad. I just want to hold him, and --- ew, stop. Boy, boy, boy. Just remember that. Gross!

Justin fiddled with his fingers, finding them suddenly quite engaging.

"So, you're not upset about this?" he mumbled suddenly.

"I'm upset that you're an asshole."

"No, I mean, you're not upset that we...uhh, you know..."

"That we had sex? Jesus, you're a retard, Justin. Didn't we just have this conversation?" he rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious!"

"So am I! What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry this happened? That we really should pretend it never happened? That it was gross and horrible and I hated it? Fine, then. It was disgusting, and you really sucked at it, too."

"Hey! Whaddya mean I sucked? I thought you liked it! What about that whole tongue thing?"

Kurt huffed at him, again. "You drive me crazy! You like me, you don't like me, you fuck me, you're repulsed by me --- make up your mind!"

"Can I give you a raincheck?"

"Hey, I'm the smartass around here. Don't go stealin' my job."

He looked up at Justin, and blue eyes met green. They stared at each other, heat rising to each of their faces.

He's gorgeous. For a guy. Or something. Fuck, I don't know what I think anymore. I just want to kiss him.

"Kurt, I ---"

"Justin, I ---" They said simultaneously, then laughed, a nervous, uncomfortable laugh. Justin nodded for his friend to go first.

"I...um, I...wow, I'm never at a loss for words, huh? Justin..." he took a deep breath. "Justin, I can't pretend that this never happened. I can't lie to myself like that. I mean, fuck, I was glad it happened. I like you, Justin." Kurt looked away and continued. "I really like you. And I figured this proved you liked me, too. The way you kissed me, it was real. And those little noises you made, the way you cried out, I ---"

He turned to see Justin biting his lower lip, looking like he was ready to bolt at any second.

"Sorry, I know you're still uncomfortable with this."

Uncomfortable is an understatement.

"Hmm, maybe uncomfortable is an understatement."

Damn, he's doing it again!

"Anyway, I don't know what to do now. I don't know where to go from here. You're obviously repulsed by this whole thing, so a loving, caring relationship seems out of the question, huh?" he laughed humorlessly. "I don't even know if you want to be friends with me anymore. Can't associate with a fruitcake, you know. You'd definitely lose any chance you might have with those preppy chicks."

"Kurt."

That single word, spoken with such determination and strength --- Kurt inhaled sharply.

"Yes?"

"Shut up. I'm not going to get rid of my best friend just because he has a crush on me. You'll get over it, anyway. Some girl'll come along, and ---"

"Justin, read my lips: I don't like girls. Have I ever had a girlfriend? Have you ever seen me chase after a girl, or even talk about them?"

"But they're always hanging all over you!"

"That doesn't mean anything. I never respond to them. They just haven't realized I'm gay yet."

"Don't say that word."

"What word? Gay?"

"Yeah. You're not...gay."

Kurt laughed, a haunting sound that started in his stomach and soon racked his entire body.

"What? What?"

"Justin...I don't like girls. I don't want to date girls or kiss girls or have sex with girls. I'm attracted to guys. I slept with a guy, willingly, and enjoyed it. How am I not gay?"

"I dunno, you're just not, OK?"

"Not OK. You're going to have to accept this."

"I...I can't. I mean, if you're...gay, then what does that make me, huh?"

"I don't know, what does that make you? Just because you have one homosexual encounter, it doesn't mean you're gay, or bi, or anything. Hell, you didn't even like it. You could've fooled me at the time, but still. It's up to you."

Justin diverted his eyes from his penetrating gaze. His thoughts once again drifted to last night. He could almost feel the soft touch of Kurt's hands on his body, the warmth of him as they lay together, the skillful way his mouth --- he shook his head violently.

Ew, I have to stop thinking like that. I couldn't possibly have liked sleeping with Kurt...could I? Just because I can't stop thinking about him and want to hold him and comfort him and feel warm inside every time he looks at me like that doesn't mean I liked it. Oh, shit.

He put his hands to his head again.

"Justin?"

"Kurt, I'm not gay. I do like girls, I really do."

Kurt nodded, not looking at him. Justin reached up and cupped his chin, turning him so they were face to face.

"But..."

"But?" his blue eyes were curious and hopeful.

"But you don't repulse me. I just...I don't understand my own feelings anymore. I didn't not like last night."

"Really?"

"Really."

"So, where does that leave us?"

"I don't know. I just know that I'm not going to lose my best friend. Not for a long time."

He reached over and gently took Kurt's hand. I just need a few days to think this over.

"Maybe you just need a few days to think this over?"

Hmph. Maybe it's not so bad when he does that.

Justin smiled, "Yeah, maybe I do. Can you give me that much?"

Kurt nodded in response. "It's the least I can do."

Justin lost himself in those soft blue eyes, full of hope and what might be called love. I finally made him happy. Thank god. I couldn't've stood another minute of that puppy dog look he was giving me. He's cute, the more I think about it. Especially when he smiles.

"And this is the least I can do," Justin murmured, tilting his head and leaning forward. He met Kurt's mouth in a soft, tender kiss, catching the blonde completely off-guard. He stared, wide-eyed, then relaxed into the kiss, returning it. When Justin finally pulled away, Kurt's face was flushed.

"Justin, I ---"

"Shh, not now. Not yet. Let's go clean up the house. I bet those assholes left it a mess."

Kurt smiled slyly. "Kinda like your life?"

Justin shot him a mock glare. "Shut up, dork." He stood up and walked towards the door. "Well, you coming or not?"

"You should know, you were on top. Unless you were too concerned with yourself to even notice me, and ---"

"Kurt!"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever shut up?"

"Only when I have something to occupy my mouth."

Justin groaned. "How many more of these snide comments do I have to take from you?"

Kurt just smiled, standing up to join him. "As many as keep coming. If they're anything like you, I give 'em three minutes, tops."

"Hey! I bet I lasted a good half hour with you!"

"I know."

Justin smiled. "Come on," he said, walking out of the room. Kurt sighed to himself and followed close behind him.

THE END

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