Akane's Quotes Page

Beware of random streudel and a subliminal Treize.

Quotes about Akane...

"There should be a class in British English
so that you don't talk about pants
and they think you mean your underwear,
or if they offer you a fag, you know they're
not talking to Akane."
-Meiran

"'Hey, Akane, want a fag?' 'Yeah, how old is he?'"
-majik, mocking Akane in response to Mary-sama

"Yeah, there were some 8th graders here today. But they're too old for you."
-Meiran

"Well, it looks like you are an overall good little devient."
-My New Best Friend Tom, who is absolutely correct

"Shinji-kun! Yeah, that got her attention."
-Anyone trying to get Akane's attention (duh)

"Well, I have this tall, skinny 15-year-old brother
with multi-colored hair who likes to skateboard,
plays the guitar, owns wire-rimmed glasses...
Akane, stop drooling."
-April

"Streudel?"
-My beloved Shinji-kun

"Hey, other people like shounen ai!"
"I know, but you're just the poster child for it."
-Akane and esteemed WA^2 president Anne Marie

"He said you were 'cute in a waifishly hentai schoolgirl way.'"
-Terra-san's friend Jeremiah

"Koji Nanjo?"
"KOJI NANJO!"
-Anyone, and Akane's inevitable response

"Why am I on the floor?"
"Because you're that sort of person."
-Akane and majik, who's evilness just increased 30%

"Oh, you're in Haunted Junction!
There's this red-headed pedophile. She's just like you!"
-Ginny

"Unfortunately, under the guise of political correctness, Disney...has chosen to
manipulate a Chinese legend so that little girls who don't have huge breasts
or petite figures will be able to empower themselves by spending the rest
of their lives trying to figure out how to wipe out an army."
-Mr. Cranky's review of Mulan...but many will attest to its truth about Akane

"What did you find out?"
"That girls who wear glasses have lots and lots of energy."
-Sam and Al from Quantum Leap

"I know how much you'd like a police line-up of skinny skater boys in their underwear."
-Will-kun

"You say posse, but you think HAREM."
-My New Best Friend Tom, commenting on my group of younger male friends

"It's a stereotype, Akane. That doesn't mean you fit it."
-Meiran

"Don't hit Sarah! It's not her fault you're a pervert!"
-majik

"Don't hit Meiran! It's not her fault you're a flirt!"
-majik, repeating herself about a year later...

"Nika-chan kawaii."
-majik, my adoring oneechan

Quotes about gayness in general...

"I never thought being with boys would help me get women."
-Anonymous sexy male

"We'll completely transform the surface of the world - every
teen will have a copy of Yaoi Girl in their locker,
gayness will be cool and every little boy
will spend their weekends sucking each other off."
-{Dream}
(Yaoi Girl is my magazine, if you were wondering)

"I like to get my men right after they hit puberty."
-Chelsea Handler

"It's not a sickness...it's a preference."
-majik and her affection for hairless gay anime men

"Quatre would never say, 'Ah...N...Trowa!' He never says 'N'!"
-Akane, in reference to the doujinshi plastering her wall

"Quatre might never say 'N' but Ranmaru sure does."
-Akane, after viewing Volume 3 of her Kizuna manga

"Astonishing! Slash slashes then is slashed himself!"
-Celebrity Deathmatch...only yaoi girls find this one funny

"There's just something sexy about a seme..."
-Akane

"Well, your granddaughter grew up to be a crossdresser!"
-From Mulan

"As for his sexuality, well, as one academic put it ironically, Shakespeare
'was almost certainly homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual.' (Scholars believe
he wrote many of his sonnets --- including 'Shall I Compare Thee to a
Summer's Day' --- to a fair-haired young man.)"
-Jack Kroll, "Close-Up on Will," Newsweek

"...girls are all too much like women, but young boys? They're not like men, are they?"
-Armand, Anne Rice's The Vampire Armand

"You just want gay drummer sex!"
-Will-kun, and he's right...

"Just because the opposite sex rejects you doesn't mean you're gay."
-Natalie

"And did we mention the throat-sucking, vein-throbbing
homoerotic shadings when Tom seduces Brad?
Now, that's something we can sink our teeth into..."
-E-online Top Tom Cruise Movies (Interview with the Vampire)

"After you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man, you need a cigarette."
-Dave Attell

"It happens. Just like bisexuality."
-Meiran

"Well, you can't forget the roving bands of homosexual men."
"Oh, that happens in my neighborhood all the time."
"Where do you live?"
-A hopeful Akane to her January term teacher...don't ask.

"Tasuki."
-Yu Watase-sensei, creator of Fushigi Yuugi
when asked who would be on top in a Tasuki and Nuriko pairing

Japan Quotes...

"I'm used to stupid people. I go to a state run agricultural school!"
-Brittain-niichan

"If I were gay, I would so be into Chris. He's so cool."
-Jamie-kun

"Do you have an underwear fetish or something?"
-Brittain's friend Chris after Akane mentioned
Mormon underwear one too many times...

"Give me angst! Yum!"
-Akane

"He's fashionable in that homo sort of way."
-Brittain-niichan

"What? You mean I'm kicking Taoist ass?"
-Jamie-kun, playing Romance of the Three Kingdoms

"You're like the incestuous little sister I never had."
-Brittain-niichan

"I will try not to do porn."
-Akane

"We should" Quotes...

"We should make a 'Spike Spencer Sucks' page."
-Akane and Meiran

"We should now focus all of our anger on Matt Greenfield."
-Akane
(Matt is the English scrpit writer and translator for ADVision. Blame him for all of Eva.)

"We should make a 'Background Midis Protest Page.'"
-Meiran, after her computer crashed on Ivor's Page

"We should make an 'Asuka is Satan' page."
-Akane, who else?

"But I want to make a 'Relena is Satan' page..."
-majik, who else?

"Damn it, we should start a 'Keep Wufei Straight' ring!"
-Akane

"We should take over the world."
"Yeah, one gay man for every fag hag!"
"Neechan, wouldn't that be two gay men for every fag hag?"
"Oh, you're right...two gay men for every fag hag!"
-Akane and majik

Evilness Quotes...

"God's an uke."
-Will-kun

"I'm not an uke! I'm a switch."
-God

"I'd rather be locked in a room with Spike Spencer singing 'Fly Me To The Moon.'
With 'Cry For the Dream' playing in the background. Yeah, that's my own personal hell."
-Akane

"Ken Hoinsky is a dork."
-Majik, in reference to the guy who's kept us
waiting 18 months for the rest of Fushigi Yuugi

"I'm As'ka Langlee So R U. I'm the designated pilot of Eva '2."
-Tiffany Grant (with a Texas accent) doing Asuka in the really bad Eva dub

"How about a random Spike Spencer quote?"
"Well, it has profanity in it."
-Akane, then majik in response

"1x4 is wrong! 1x2, 3x4, 5 x Meiran!"
-Akane

"Maybe if you sleep with him, he'll give you Pocky."
-Meiran

"Anyone named 'smutqueen' can't be trusted."
-Majik, after losing her Samurai Troopers doujinshi on ebay with 7 seconds to go

"Men are so LAME!"
"Yeah, but...we need somebody to die in wars."
-Random ABC sit-com

"Nothing like the feel of fine linens up your ass."
-Will-kun, commenting on the "JR: Linens up the WAZOO" billboard

"I always think Spike Spencer looks like an evil Shinji clone wannabe pussy man."
-Akane, ranting again

"If I read one more rape fic...man, it's sad when you have to say that."
-majik (expressing Akane's sentiments exactly)

"...faggoty loser cartoons..."
-Andy Head, a bigger asshole than Spike Spencer, and his definition of anime

"Of course I'll be sugary, I like my scrotum."
-Will-kun

"The Japanese rules on what constitutes spooge are frighteningly complex...."
-The Right Stuf International FAQ

"I wish you had a penis, and then you'd understand."
-Will-kun

"It's one of those that everybody should be forced to watch
just to have the ideas in their head of how life really is.
One example being that sex is sex, love is not sex, and people
get those confused...so use sex for what you need!!"
-Review of Cruel Intentions on the International Movie Database
(Have I mentioned how much I love the youth of America? *gags*)

"Can I say something that involves Brittany Spears without you getting violently angry?"
-Will-kun

"Kevin cannot be Skywalker!"
-Akane, on the rumor that Dawson
(who looks like Kevin from Daria) was going to play Anakin in Episode 2

"Just because Sadamoto wants to f**k Asuka doesn't mean Shinji has to!"
-Will-kun
(Sadamoto is now more evil than Spike Spencer. I didn't think it was possible.)

"If Roberto Benigni sweeps the Oscars, I'll give Spike Spencer head!"
-Akane, who will sadly never get to hear Spike's voice crack in pleasure
(Only Best Actor and Best Foreign Film? Please)

Katsucon 5 Quotes...

"See, this Whopper saved my soul, you bastard!"
-Chris...don't even ask...

"Elves ate my henchman."
-Obligatory D&D reference

"Even Tuxedo Mask gets tired sometimes and says 'Boob.'"
-Will-kun

"Why do you assume that all the guys dressed up as girls are my friends?"
-Terra-san, half of whose friends came in drag

"Does purple hair dye even come off marble?"
-Chris, commenting on our lovely purple-stained sink

"Naked Ronins!!!"
-Terra-san, watching the music videos

"What do you mean they moved Hana Yori Dango to 3:30am?
What do you mean Card Captor Sakura started at 9:30am?
What to you mean I missed Be-Boy: Kidnapping Idol? ARGH!"
-Akane, who loves when they switch the schedule around

"I can't believe you missed Be-Boy: Kidnapping Idol! It was so cuuuuuuuuute!"
-majik and Sarah, taunting poor Akane

"I can't believe they charged porn to my mom's credit card!"
-Will-kun, the poor abused mommy of the group

"Actually, it's a very nice stairwell..."
-Akane, who didn't sleep much

Katsucon 6 Quotes...

"Nicole: Nepharious Imps Cooking Openly Lesbian Elves"
-Josh, having fun with acronyms

"You Illegitimate Son of a Manager!"
-Chris

"I have a penis, wait for me!"
-Akito-chan...it has to do with...oh, don't even ask...

"God said let there be shy, and there was Phillip."
-Chris, and it's true...

"Shit and a half!"
-Akane's new favorite curse

Miscellaneous Quotes...

"Dance, Boogie, Doo Doo Doo..."
-Anyone, in reference to my catatonic Furby

"And the planet decided that Sephiroth was uncool."
-Terra-san, after seeing a FF7 music video

"My nuts aren't particularly sensitive, I'll have you know."
-Matt, in reference to the uselessness of Sophitia's
ball busting attacking on Seung Mina in Soul Blade

"It's like Gendo without pants funny."
-Will-kun

"Maybe full length centerfolds of ten year old boys
are in every 19 year old college girl's dorm room!"
-Akane, proving how weird she really is...

"I don't think Ai no Kusabi is a first date kind of movie."
-Meiran

"If I hated my life, and if I had pants on and a metal bat..."
-Will-kun

"I want to have a metaphysical naked moment!"
-Akane

"I just can't stand seeing something less
than 5% my own mass trying to intimidate
me for such a petty argument as peeing territory."
-{Dream}, speaking of chihuahuas

"I'll give you icky pheromones, you schmack-ass!"
-Akane to Will-kun

"From now on, you are the great Goddess of Fixing Forks!"
"No, I'm the Goddess of Elves and Hentai."
-Akane and Terra-san, Sennyo-megami

"They can't call it an all-girl club if two out of five members have penises!"
-Will-kun on Animerica's inaccurate review of Mahou Tsukai Tai

"Lesson learned from Kizuna Volume 5...do not piss off Ranmaru!"
-Akane

"Yes, I was there for the great Chocolate Covered Cherry Squashing incident.
And yes, I stained my ass."
-Meiran

"Look, it's our son!"
"Jason, it's a Furby."
-J-san and Terra-san

"CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!"
-Sarah, over most anything

"I thought you said Zechs, not sex!"
-Sarah, thinking about her GWing man

"I thought you said sex, not Zechs!"
-Terra-san, thinking about...what Terra-san always thinks about!

"Think how empty that sentence would have been without the word 'monkey.'"
Saturday Night Live