TOKYO-3 BABY-SITTERS
Written by Alain Gravel
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Teahouse/2236/
Based on characters created by and copyright GAINAX
Started on November 16th 1999
First pre-reader draft finished on May 9th 2000
Second pre-reader draft finished on May 16th 2000
Third pre-reader draft finished on May 24th 2000
==================================================================
Chapter 3 - Unexpected Assistance
The room was so small--barely four meters on a side--that you
could hardly call it an office. That didn't matter to its user,
though. It was calm, it was isolated and it was functional, which
was all she needed.
She pressed a button, activating a MAGI terminal. The screen
flickered to life, glowing weakly through its thin layer of dust.
Beside being small, this office was also very rarely used. In
fact, judging by how clean the room was, if one didn't consider
the dust that slowly made its way inside through the air ducts,
many would likely have assumed that this place had never been used
at all. Not that there was much in the room to use, a chair and a
desk being the only furniture present, for the proper use of the
MAGI terminal.
Her fingers were a blur on the terminal's keyboard and her
unblinking gaze fixed on the screen, Ayanami Rei quickly found the
file she was looking for: the Children status file. It was a
restricted file, but her security clearance was high enough to
access it. Only the Commander had a higher security clearance and
only Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki and Doctor Akagi's clearances equaled
hers.
Rarely had Rei felt the need to use this office, even if it
was at her permanent disposal. She had used it before the final
attacks on the Fifth, Seventh and Twelfth Angels. Knowledge was a
weapon, and in these instances, it had been possible for her to
review the data on the Angels, in search of a weakness to exploit
in combat. It had not actually been useful -- her role against the
Fifth had been to protect Shinji, she hadn't faced the Seventh and
Unit-01 had destroyed the Twelfth -- but it never hurt to be
prepared. She had also used it to consult the files on the Second,
Third and Fourth Children. The information, however, had not been
very useful, as she had found the Second and Third Children far
more complex than their psychological profiles let on.
"Why am I here?"
It was a question she had asked herself many times on her way
here. She knew that the Third Children retrieval attempt had been
performed several days earlier. She had spoken to several people,
but gotten contradictory answers. Some spoke of success, other of
failure, but nobody wanted to elaborate. She hadn't seen Major
Katsuragi, Doctor Akagi or Lieutenant Ibuki since the attempt. She
hadn't seen the Third Children at NERV, nor at school. She had
overheard his friends saying he had been sent to Germany.
Obviously this was misinformation spread by the Major. EVA pilots
were needed in only one place: here in Tokyo-3, where the Angels
inevitably attacked. It was all... very strange. So, earlier, in a
meeting with Commander Ikari, she finally decided to ask him about
the Third Children. His answer hadn't been exactly what she had
expected.
'There is no need for you to concern yourself with this, Rei.'
This answer was now the source of a great dilemma for the
teenage girl. Commander Ikari had assured her that it was
unimportant. The Third Children, however, was not only a teammate,
but also the only pilot that seemed able to use Unit-01. And even
if Unit-01 was still in stasis, she considered the Third Children
as the more reliable of her teammates. True, his will was weak,
but she expected the Second Children to break before he would.
Therefore, Unit-02 would be available if Unit-01 was not. On a
practical basis, there was justification for her to wonder about
the availability of the Third Children.
But beyond that, there was something else, something she
couldn't quite point out. An ordinary person might have said it
was either curiosity or worry. Ayanami Rei wasn't, however, an
ordinary person and so she found herself more confused than
anything by her current actions.
Realizing that she had been staring blankly at the terminal
screen for a few minutes, lost in her reflections, Rei pushed
those thoughts aside to be reflected upon at a later time. She
opened the Children status files and called up the information
about the Third Children.
She let out a sigh of relief, not realizing she had been
holding her breath, as she saw the 'Inactive' status for the Third
Children. Part of her had expected to see a 'Deceased' or
'Vanished' status. She was quite aware of what had happened the
previous time someone had achieved a synch ratio over one hundred
percent with Unit-01. Looking in the mirror every morning reminded
her of that fact.
"This feeling... was it anxiety? Did I fear... did I fear for
him? Why?"
More questions she found herself unable to answer.
In a way, the Third Children had been extremely annoying. Ever
since he had arrived in Tokyo-3, she had found herself asking
herself more and more questions of a similar nature.
The fact alone that she felt annoyed by such unimportant
matters was actually disturbing.
The girl let out a silent sigh, one of her rare shows of
emotions.
The fact that the Third Children was still alive didn't really
answer her questions, however. No mention of his current
whereabouts could be found in his file. To add to the mystery,
surveillance over him had been temporarily been put on hold.
The girl frowned. If the Third Children was truly away in
Germany, it would have been indicated in his file. It seemed she
was wasting her time.
Through a new search, Rei opened Major Katsuragi's file. It
seemed she was currently on a leave of absence, ever since the day
following the Third Children's retrieval from Unit-01. Security
logs confirmed that she hadn't come to NERV in that period.
Visiting the Major seemed like the next logical step.
The Commander had said not to concern herself. He had not said
that she could not look into these matters.
- - -
Yawning, Misato tried to keep her eyes open.
"Why can't you just get hungry at normal eating hours?"
The baby just kept sucking on his bottle. The last few days
had started to take their toll on Misato. She had been feeding
Shinji, changing him, watching over him so he wouldn't hurt
himself, day and night. A few close calls had shown it was
necessary. It was exhausting. The constant worry only added to the
stress. And then there were the chores of keeping the house
clean... At least with Asuka away she didn't have to worry about
food; she was used to instant. Although, she had to admit, now
that she was sober, it really tasted like cardboard.
- - -
It's really crowded here.
This was the thought that came to Asuka's mind, as she lay by
Hikari's side on her bed, staring at the ceiling. The bed was
comfortable, but not really big enough for the use of two people.
Asuka found herself unable to move from fear of ending up in an
embarrassing, or even intimate position. The last thing she wanted
was to wake up in the morning and find herself hugging Hikari,
after having dreamt of Kaji.
So she couldn't sleep and found herself staring at the
ceiling.
Her thoughts kept coming back to Misato and baby-Shinji, as
they had for the past few days. This annoyed her to no end, but
she just couldn't seem to chase the images away.
Misato had seemed so joyful, so full of life. Asuka had never
seen her like that. She had been like a different person. She
hadn't drunk a single drop of beer all night. She had cooked an
edible and non-instant meal. She had apparently cleaned the place
up. She had been smiling, a true, honest smile. She had never
acted this way before. Not for Shinji. Not for Kaji. Not for her.
Only for that... baby.
This was what scared her the most about babies. She hated them
for various reasons. They were noisy. They were dependant. They
always required your attention. They were a pain in the ass. But
more importantly... they could change you. And you could get
attached to them. This, above all else, scared Asuka. She would
not let anything change her. And she certainly didn't want to get
attached to one of those. Loving someone meant eventually losing
them. Her mother; she didn't want to think about it. Her father;
he stopped caring about her at the same time he stopped caring
about her mother. Perhaps he never cared at all. Kaji; it was
becoming clear that it had been a mistake. With Misato around, he
would never care about her. Shinji... she chased that thought
away. She didn't care about him. No, she didn't care about him...
There was also something else that bothered her about babies.
Something darker. Dolls. They all looked like dolls. Dolls mothers
could play with.
Asuka shuddered at the thought.
Shifting positions so that she would now lay on her side,
Asuka hugged her pillow as she buried her face in it, fighting
back the tears she could almost feel in her eyes.
At her side, Hikari wished there was something she could do or
say to help her friend. But whatever was hurting her, she knew
that Asuka would rather face it herself than let herself be seen
in pain.
- - -
"What now?!"
She tried to feed the baby, but Shinji just ignored the milk
bottle and kept crying. It wasn't a complete surprise, she had
given Shinji's last meal barely more then an hour ago.
"Why are you crying?"
Undressing the baby only revealed a dry and clean diaper.
"Why?"
Taking the him into her arms, Misato could only think of a
single course of action. She just paced back and forth in her
living room, whispering what hoped to be soothing words, trying to
calm the child, as she slowly rocked him in her arms. She gave up
after nearly stumbling twice over a huge plush panda Makoto had
brought the child two days before. So she just sat down on the
floor, still holding Shinji, and prayed that he would stop crying
soon. She really needed a few straight hours of sleep...
- - -
Ayanami Rei found herself staring at the door of Major
Katsuragi's apartment. This was also the other Children's living
quarters as well. At this thought, she felt a familiar feeling she
sometimes felt as she compared their living conditions to hers.
She didn't really know what the feeling was, but it was strong and
violent, so she repressed it as she always did. Commander Ikari
had approved of all their living conditions, and his opinion was
not something to question. Her being here, however, was more
questionable. As she left for this place after school, it had
seemed... right. The fact that the Second Children was heading in
a different direction didn't change this feeling; if anything, it
would make the whole process easier. But now that she was actually
here...
"Am I going against the Commander's wishes? Why am I here?"
While technically she knew she wasn't disobeying him, she also
know that she had played with his words in her logic. He may not
have put it exactly into words, but she had understood the
meaning. She should stay away from this matter.
So why was she here?
"Ikari-kun..."
For a moment, she frowned. Why did he insist in making her
life more complicated. Didn't he understand that things were as
they should be? Why did he... make her... feel?
It would be much easier to simply leave. But she needed to
understand... if only to free herself of his disturbing influence.
So her finger pushed on the apartment electronic buzzer.
The answer she expected didn't follow. Instead, she heard a
faint 'bang' through the door, followed by a much louder sound. It
sounded like something was... wailing. It was a voice she didn't
recognize. It couldn't be Sohryu, she was not presently here. The
voice didn't have similarities with the Major or the Third
Children either. The penguin perhaps?
Her train of thought derailed as her long-repressed instincts
reacted to the sound. Her throat went dry, her muscle tensed, her
stomach felt as if a hand was roaming in her insides. She
recognized the emotions as anxiety, perhaps even fear. She had
felt these feelings before, at a few occasions, and felt shame in
knowing that in these instances, she had doubted Commander Ikari.
This time, however, the emotions she felt were making themselves
known on completely different levels. Something within her was
urging her to move, to enter the apartment, to go see the source
of the noise. Because something instinctive within her knew it was
important.
And so, for the first time of her life, logic found itself
thrown aside and Ayanami Rei panicked.
While she had no official military rank, Rei had privileges
that actually outranked most people in NERV. Aside from a high
security clearance, those privileges also included a universal
pass. After all, in times of emergency, it was important for Rei
to be able to enter any location if it was necessary. So when she
slipped her access card into the lock of Major Katsuragi's
apartment, the door opened for her.
In a hurry, Rei ran into the apartment, shoes flying in all
directions as she removed them from force of habit. She soon found
the source of the noise... and froze. Down on the floor was a
small infant, disturbingly familiar, trying to cry its lungs out.
Rei suddenly found herself at a complete loss. Had she known about
the events that would have occurred that day, Asuka would most
likely have come back to the Katsuragi household just to witness
this scene; finally a problem Ayanami Rei didn't know how to
handle. After a moment of staring at the child, and actually
blinking a few times, Rei heard someone moaning, the sound mostly
drowned out by the baby's wailing. She looked toward the source of
the moan, to see the Major, sprawled on the floor. She noted the
plush panda under her legs but more importantly, the small puddle
of blood around the area where her forehead had hit the floor.
Simple logic quickly led to a simple conclusion: the Major had
tried to rush to answer the door, but stumbled on the plush panda
and fell, hitting her head and rendering herself unconscious. She
had probably been carrying the infant with her, which she let go
in her fall, explaining its current behavior.
Again, Rei found herself faced with a dilemma. The infant
could have been hurt, and may be needing assistance, however, the
Major was clearly hurt and obviously needed care. Head injuries
could, after all, be very dangerous. Due to her rank and her role
in the war against the Angels, the Major should obviously take
priority. The child was, after all, unimportant. As she watched
him cry, however, Rei found it very difficult to resist the need
to help him.
She sighed. Making such important decisions was not something
she was used to.
- - -
Misato tried not to wince as Rei roughly bandaged her head.
The sight of the blue haired girl, as she had been reviving her
with smelling salts, while holding Shinji in one arm, had quite
surprised her. She didn't know, however, what had been the
strangest sight: Rei in her apartment, the look of concern on her
face, or the way she actually held the baby in her arm. Right now,
Misato was the one holding Shinji, letting Rei take care of her.
"The cut on your forehead is deep. You will likely need
stitches. You may also have a concussion. I strongly recommend
that you go to the hospital once I have minimized the blood flow."
Misato guessed that Rei was right. She did feel dizzy and the
pain was intense. From her position, she gave the plush panda a
dark look. She had to put that thing away... before she tore it
apart limb from limb.
"I know, Rei. But I can't. I can't leave him alone by himself.
I have to watch him."
"You won't be able to care for him if you lose consciousness."
Misato admitted, to herself, that Rei had a point.
"Why is this infant so important, Major? Is he the reason for
your leave of absence?"
"Take him in your arms, Rei."
The girl made sure the Major's bandage was holding securely,
then complied. Misato noted that Rei seemed to actually know how
to hold a child, as if it wasn't the first time she was doing
this. The thought of Rei taking care of a child seemed very alien.
"Look at him carefully and I think you'll know why he's so
important."
She looked at the child. It was rather tiny, if not fragile
looking. She noted the dark brown hair. His features were vaguely
familiar, but Rei couldn't tell if it looked like someone she
knew, or if this familiarity came from something more complex, a
sort of vague remembrance. His eyes however... red and dark blue
eyes stared into one another. It only lasted for a second or two,
before the child smiled, then happily giggled. But that short
instant had been enough for her to see what she had failed to see
before. The intensity of those eyes was unmistakable.
Had she not have been looking at Rei, Misato might have missed
a brief flash of a shocked expression, before it faded away and
her features returned to normal.
"Ikari-kun."
Misato nodded. Rei didn't ask how this actually happened. It
was unimportant. It did, however, answer a number of questions.
These matters were put aside as the girl thought back over the
current situation. She looked again at the child she was holding
in her arms and made a decision.
"I will take care of him."
It wasn't a request or a suggestion, but a statement. A very
serious one, Misato judged, as she looked at Rei's face.
"Rei... you've never taken care of a baby, have you?"
"No."
Misato sighed. The girl's intentions were commendable, but it
wasn't realistic.
"I'm not sure it's a good idea. Taking care of a baby is not
an easy task, Rei. It's a lot of responsibility. Make only one
mistake and the child might suffer."
"I will not fail him!"
Rei seemed so resolved. Never Misato had seen the girl so sure
of herself, so... expressive. Rei usually seemed more passive, the
perfect soldier, always ready to follow orders. The Rei she knew
would not have tried to insist but would have simply surrendered
to her opinion. Maybe, just maybe... this just might finally help
the girl to open up. But first, Misato had to make sure that Rei
was really committed to this important task. Shinji's life was
actually at stake here, and this was a far more risky gamble than
her decision of having Shinji and Asuka live together.
"I'm sorry Rei, but you can't take care of him."
"I... I..."
Rei didn't know how to react. She had made a decision, an
important decision, both for herself and Ikari-kun. And... she was
denied. While she recognized the Major's authority... her decision
had seemed so right...
"I... I... please... let me..."
Misato gasped at that sight. Rei was clutching the child
tighter against her. If she didn't know Rei better, she would have
swore that she was actually about to cry.
"I want... I want to take care of him."
Had anyone told her this would happen one day, Misato would
never have believed it. But here it was. Rei was actually making a
demand. She *wanted* something. She smiled, a proud smile. It was
odd... was this how a mother felt when she could see her children
grow up?
"All right, Rei. You can take care of him."
Rei's face softened. Inside of herself, however, she was
crying tears of joy. She didn't exactly know why she felt this
way. It all seemed so trivial. But... she could not help the
feelings that overtook her. She smiled, a shy smile, reminiscent
of the one she gave Ikari-kun, that time he asked her to smile.
Misato blinked at the sight. Rei was smiling at her. And that
smile seemed to widen as Rei looked at the child. At that moment,
Misato felt certain that all would be all right after all.
Unsure if she could drive to the hospital, Misato phoned for a
taxi. While they waited, she instructed Rei on the different tasks
she'd have to perform, showing her where she kept the diapers,
milk formula, baby food and other necessary items. She also gave
Rei the baby caring guidebook Ritsuko had initially gave her.
After finally telling the girl she was free to use the contents of
the kitchen, with the exception of beer, Misato was about to leave
the girl and child alone, when she thought of a last piece of
advice.
"Rei, for the next few hours, Shinji will be completely
dependent on you. He will not be able to communicate his needs to
you, so you'll have to make guesses and try to act for the best.
So you'll have to care for him the best you can. Like... a mother
would."
Rei nodded.
Misato then looked at the child Rei was still holding.
"Now, Shin-chan, Auntie Misato has to leave for a while, so
you be good and do what Rei-oneechan tells you, understood?"
The child, noticing that Misato was addressing him, just
blankly stared at her, before yawning and closing his eyes.
"Oh well... I'm sure he won't be *that much* trouble. You two
take care!"
Having nothing more to say, Misato left Shinji in Rei's hands.
She still had doubts, but her instinct was telling her it would
work out just fine. Besides, Rei had said she wouldn't fail Shinji
and Misato believed her. She had seen the girl in action, and one
thing she had to give her credit for was her perseverance and
dedication. If Rei said that she wouldn't fail, she wouldn't and
God help anyone who got in her way.
Misato gone, Rei stared for a moment at the now closed door,
lost in thoughts.
"A mother..." she whispered to herself.
Ikari-kun had once told her that she had looked like a mother.
Could she now act like one?
She looked at the child now sleeping peacefully in her arms.
"Shin-chan..."
- - -
Kaji looked at the woman laying in his bed. She had asked him
to take her back to her apartment once the doctors had assured her
that her injuries weren't too important. A few stitches and a
painkiller prescription later, she was ready to leave and had
thought that Kaji would be cheaper then another taxi. On the way,
Kaji had managed to convince her that she really looked like she
needed rest and that she should come to his apartment rather than
hers. Misato had been reluctant, but he had managed to convince
her that Rei could surely handle taking care of a baby for a few
hours.
Now, Misato was dead asleep, snoring lightly. He had left just
a few minutes ago to make coffee and it took only that much time
for her to find her way into dreamland. Most likely, the
painkillers and lack of sleep had kicked in. Perhaps it was just
as well. She needed the rest. Carefully, he picked a cover from a
closet and laid it over her. He then took an extra set of bed
sheets as well as a pillow and exited the room. While he was very
tempted to sneak into bed with her, it was probably better to let
her have her rest undisturbed.
- - -
Rei was not worried. She was simply... concerned. At least,
that was what she was trying to tell herself.
The Major had left around dinner time. Glancing at her watch
as she had done several times before, Rei noted that the time was
now 20h30. More than enough time for a simple head injury to be
treated. Which could only lead to two possibilities: either she
had underestimated the extent of the injury the Major had suffered
-- if it was the case it was possible shhe had been forced to
remain at the hospital -- or she had decided to get a moment of
rest, which was also probable, as it seemed to be something the
Major had been lacking. Rei didn't really mind having to stay
longer then she had expected. Having brought her school bag with
her, she could still do her homework. While it was tasteless, the
food the Major had given her permission to eat had been enough to
sustain her. The Second Children had not yet come back from the
location she had gone to after the end of classes, a fact the
blue-haired girl greatly appreciated. And more importantly, she
had just finished her third reading of the guidebook the Major had
handed her and if she didn't totally understand the content, she
now felt confident in facing the inevitable task of taking care of
the young Ikari.
Well... almost confident. She found herself very worried about
her earlier behavior. She had lost control. For a moment, emotions
had taken over her rational judgement. She had volunteered herself
to do a task for which she had no experience or qualification.
Then she had argued with her commanding officer, almost telling
her she was wrong. These were all unacceptable behaviors. If the
Commander ever heard of this, he would be greatly disappointed. He
might even... replace her. She didn't fear being replaced... but
she certainly didn't wish for it either. At least, that's what she
believed, but small shudders at the thought suggested otherwise.
Well, she was determined not to show any further moments of
weakness from this point on. After all, this was only a child.
Even if this child was Ikari-kun.
She frowned. This designation no longer seemed appropriate. If
the infant was Ikari-kun, he was also different from him. The
Major had called him Shin-chan. Something deep within her approved
of the name. But Rei ignored that voice. Calling the child that...
it felt too personal.
Shinji, she decided, would do fine.
Having nothing else to do, the girl was about to read the book
a fourth time when the child made it clear he was awake. For a
moment, she froze. It was quite a disturbing feeling, it was as if
she had suddenly forgotten all she had learned in the guidebook,
as well as her previous resolutions. Only years of self-control
made her resist an overwhelming urge to panic. As calmly as she
could, and being Ayamani Rei, it meant being as cool as ice, she
got up and walked up to the crib where she had laid the small
infant after the Major had left.
Earlier, the child had been rather calm. He had obviously been
tired and had caused her no problem. He had fallen asleep almost
the instant she had put him in the crib. Now, however, he was very
much alive, legs kicking in the air, hands and fingers moving as
if it were trying to catch something only he could see, mouth wide
open and eyes closed as he cried. For a moment, Rei wondered if
all infants cried in such a manner, or if it was something unique
to Ikari. The Third Children was after all overly sensitive, if
her observations were accurate.
The child calmed down somewhat when she picked him up, but he
was still crying. From her reading, many things could lead a baby
to cry, but the two most probable possibilities were either wet
diapers or hunger. Since food would be wasted if the infant was
not hungry, the girl proceeded to methodically remove the baby's
clothes, a task not too easy, since the baby kept crying, but by
that time, Ayanami had already learned to mostly ignore the sound.
Finding no trace of wetness in the baby's diapers, she dressed him
again and put him back in the crib. Sensing that the girl was
leaving him behind, Shinji cried even more.
"I need to prepare your meal. You must be patient."
Rei quickly realized however, that babies don't respond well
to logical arguments. So as she tried to leave for the kitchen
again, the volume of Shinji's wailing increased significantly. Rei
tried to ignore him, but the sound just seemed to stab into her
like a knife. But she refrained herself from going back. She would
not let her emotions control her again.
'If this goes on, he may disturb people living in the next
apartment.'
Rei had no idea if the Major actually had neighbors, but this
was a perfectly logical excuse to go back to the child and see if
there was any way to calm him down. Looking around brought the
solution to Rei's problem. She picked the child again, strapped
him into the car baby seat which she had noticed in a corner of
the room and carried the seat with her in the kitchen. This way,
the child would be able to be in her presence and she would be
free to prepare his meal.
Rei felt very pleased in her handling of this problem. There
would be other problems, but she knew now that she would be able
to deal with them in a calm and logical manner. She didn't know
why all these emotions made themselves felt this often and this
strongly, but she was sure she could now keep them under control.
She wondered, did she react so strongly because of the baby,
or because of the knowledge that this baby was Ikari? She had
noticed that the Major had seemed very protective of the infant.
More protective than she usually seemed about Ikari. Did babies
have an emotional effect on people? Did it affect only females or
did it affect males also? She sighed. New questions added to this
complex puzzle people called life.
For the moment, however, Rei had to face a less complex
problem, which was what to actually feed the child. Rei
contemplated the options offered to her. One was baby food. She
had noticed a vast array of baby food jars in the Major's fridge
in her earlier attempts to find something edible (unfortunately,
Rei didn't know that baby food actually tasted better then
Misato's instant food). It was all basically the same thing if one
didn't consider all the different tastes available (Misato had
actually discovered that baby food tasted better then her instant
food, so she had made a vast order, even replacing part of her
beer supply with it). The other option was milk. The milk formula
had been conveniently left on the table, along with the necessary
bottles, and the preparation seemed rather simple. So, again, Rei
was faced with a choice. From what she had read, younger infants
drank milk. As the infant grew, however, so did his nutritional
needs. Rei had no idea how old Shinji actually was, and what kinds
of food he mostly required. The presence of both suggested that
the Major had at least tried to feed him both kinds. But she
hadn't instructed her on which to use. For a moment, Rei
considered simply giving him both, but it seemed unlikely that
such a small child would have a big enough stomach for both. So
she settled on the milk. If it was good for newborn babies, then
it would not hurt older ones.
Rei noted with interest that the infant had apparently noticed
that she was preparing his meal, as he calmed down and watched her
with concentration. It was a more complex behavior then anything
else she had observed so far. Was this baby more intelligent than
she had initially estimated? Her initial observations had lead her
to believe that Shinji, under this form, possessed few reasoning
skills. But apparently, this child had already learned how to
recognize someone preparing his meals. It was most fascinating.
Following the instructions to the letter with flawless
execution, Rei was soon done preparing the baby's milk bottle. And
the fact that he was afterward sucking on the bottle energetically
clearly showed that she was using the appropriate method to feed
him. While it was of no surprise, Rei felt both relieved and proud
in this latest accomplishment. For a moment, she allowed herself a
moment of respite and gave the child a small smile.
Rei had no idea what quantity of milk a child actually needed
to drink. But that problem solved itself as Shinji lost interest
in the bottle. Rei noted that only a quarter of the content was
left, although she had no idea if the information was relevant, as
she doubted that such things could remain constant. One thing she
knew remained true however was that after such a meal, it was
needed to make the baby burp. The book had not explained why, only
how to proceed, and so Rei acted accordingly. However, as she held
the child in her arms over her shoulder and tried to make him
burp, the reward to her efforts was not exactly what she had
expected. She frowned as she felt the baby regurgitate part of the
milk he had drunk on her shoulder.
"This is not cute." (1)
While being barfed on was just a little annoyance for Rei, a
wasted school uniform was another matter entirely. Hopefully, it
would not stain. While it was meaningless to Rei, the Commander
was adamant that she should at least have a presentable
appearance. Picking up the child, Rei headed toward the bathroom
in search of a washcloth to at least remove most of Shinji's...
little gift. The child giggled in delight, happy to take a little
trip, but it was short lived as Rei set him down on the floor.
"Do not move," commanded the girl to the child, before picking
a washcloth and proceeding to wet it and try to clean the fabric
covering her shoulder.
What Rei was to soon learn, however, is that children tend not
to listen to what people tell them; in fact they sometimes do the
complete opposite. So when she finally judged her uniform clean
enough, at least hopefully enough that it wouldn't stain, she
discovered the child gone from the position she had left him. In
fact, he was nowhere to be seen in bathroom. For a moment, she
wondered how such a little child could have disappeared so fast,
when she heard both a shriek and a giggle. Frowning, she went to
investigate the source of the sound.
Rei blinked at the sight that awaited her. Then blinked again.
As fate required, Pen-pen had chosen *that moment* to have a
late drink. So he got out of this 'home' to fetch a beer at the
same time Shinji exited the bathroom. The baby didn't miss the
chance to recognize the penguin which led to the current result;
apparently, Shinji had managed to grab and hold himself tightly on
the penguin's back. Needless to say, Pen-pen did not approve and
was expressing that disapproval in loud warks while running around
in circles and waving his fins, trying to get that thing off his
back. The scene could have been comical, if not for the inevitable
conclusion; the baby finally lost his grip and was sent flying in
the air. For an instant, time seemed to freeze and Rei stared in
wide horror at the child going up in the air, soon to fall down.
Then, she moved.
Rei was not the kind who felt the need to show off. So she
never used her full skill, speed and strength in class, or daily
life. She had still been holding back when she beat Asuka's time
in the previous week's swimming competition.
So when Rei moved to catch the child, it was both with feline
grace and speed. Too bad no one was there to witness it. And it
was a shame Rei didn't notice that Pen-pen, now free of the child,
failed to slow down and hit the plush panda, knocking him in Rei's
path just before it was too late for her to avoid it. So Rei
stumbled on the panda and fell on the floor. But she at least
managed to avoid harming herself by catching herself with her
arms. That is, before something hit her back, making her yelp in
pain and, as she lost her hold, painfully hit her forehead on the
floor. But unlike the Major, Rei was used to dealing with pain; it
came with her job. So the next instant she was up again, to see
the child on the floor, which had bounced off her back, squirming
and crying.
And that's when Rei again lost what control she had managed to
keep so far.
"Shinji! Are you alright?!? Shinji!"
The only answer Rei got was more crying. Which really wasn't
too surprising as babies can't actually talk. But she wasn't in
the right frame of mind at the moment to realize that. Something
she noticed, however, was the penguin waddling toward the source
of the noise.
"You!"
The penguin froze in his tracks as red eyes burning with anger
were suddenly locked on him. A large sweatdrop begun to form as
his eyes met Rei's.
"If you hurt him, I will make sure that 'grilled penguin' is
on the next NERV cafeteria menu."
Pen-pen didn't really understand all the words the scary blue-
haired girl had used, but the low dangerous tone of her voice
carried the meaning quite clearly. Knowing what was good for him,
he wasted no time retreating to his fridge, where he was
determined to stay until either his mistress, the whiny boy or the
loud female were back. He hadn't seen the latter two in a while,
though. He really hoped that they hadn't been replaced by the
scary girl...
"Shinji! Are you alright? Are you hurt?"
Taking the child in her arms, Rei inspected him to see if
there were any traces of injuries: cuts, bruises, anything. She
looked at him from every angle, feeling gently for broken bones.
The only thing she found, however, was something warm and wet as
she slipped a hand in his diapers.
Rei's only reaction was to freeze for a short instant, then
frown. The fact that Rei kept her legendary calm didn't mean she
found this sudden contact any less disgusting than anyone else
would. Rei, however, was not one to dwell long on such
insignificant matter and so she found herself soon seeing the
positive side of the situation: at least she knew now why Shinji
was crying. And despite everything, she felt relieved that Shinji
was well.
- - -
Changing the child had taken longer than feeding him. The
operation had been a bit more complex and had also required for
her to clean the child up. This time, Shinji's "little gift" had
not been that little and it had been somewhat messy. For a moment,
Rei wondered if the Major fed the child properly.
Shinji had finally calmed down. He had been fed, changed and
had played a bit (although too much and too dangerously for Rei's
taste). Therefore the next logical step seemed putting him back to
bed. The baby, however, seemed to refuse to be put into the crib.
Each time she let him go, he would start to cry.
"Are you not tired?"
In her arms, the child yawned. Taking it as a yes, Rei put the
child back in the crib.
He started to cry again.
The she took him back. He stopped.
And he cried again as she put him back.
To stop when she picked him up.
To cry once more when she tried one more time to put him back.
Analyzing the problem at hand, Rei could only come to one
conclusion: the child didn't want to leave her arms. This single
thought made her feel... warm inside.
"Fine," she whispered, as a smile grew on her face.
So the girl sat against a wall, and waited for the child in
her arms to fall asleep. The whole situation felt strangely...
very familiar. Without realizing it, the girl sang a soft lullaby
she had never heard before, but yet knew nonetheless.
Sleep, little pigeon,
And fold your wings,
Little blue pigeon
With velvet eyes;
Sleep to the singing
Of mother-bird swinging
Swinging the nest
Where her little one lies.
Away out yonder
I see a star,
Silvery star
With a tinkling song;
To the soft dew falling
I hear it calling
The night along.
In through the window
A moonbeam comes,
Little gold moonbeam
With misty wings;
All silently creeping,
It asks; "Is he sleeping
Sleeping and dreaming
While mother sings?" ...
But sleep, little pigeon,
And fold your wings,
Little blue pigeon
With mournful eyes;
Am I not singing? --
See, I am swinging --
Swinging the nest
Where my darling lies.
As Rei started to sing, the child recognized the song, calmed
down and yawned. Eventually, both infant and girl fell asleep.
[To be continued...]
Bonus scene:
While most of Tokyo-3's inhabitants were enjoying a well
deserved rest, a pair of scientists were still hard at work in a
restricted laboratory, deep inside the bowels of NERV. Through
force of habit, Akagi Ritsuko picked up her coffee mug and
mindlessly brought it to her lips, still typing on the keyboard
with her free hand, only to find the mug empty. This simple
realization broke her out of the near trance she had been in for
over an hour. Blinking, her eyes confirmed that the cute cat
ornated mug, a gift from her assistant Maya on her last birthday,
barely held more than a drop of coffee.
The blonde haired scientist let out a yawn and progressively
started to feel the effect of too many hours of non-stop work.
Almost thirty eight hours, if her watch was accurate. She looked
at her terminal screen again, to realize with regret that her
previous train of thought was now completely derailed.
Knowing that there wasn't any point in trying to stop her mind
from wandering a bit, Ritsuko looked at the large glass cylinder
at the center of the room. Two meters wide and four meters in
height, it was big enough for an adult to stand inside it... or
float in it. Both extremities were attached to a vast array of
mechanical and electronic components, most of them not completely
assembled, but the Doctor knew it was only a matter of time before
the device would be ready. Soon enough, the cylinder would be
filled with LCL and would bathe the otherwise dark room with an
orange glow, much like another system Ritsuko preferred not to
think about. It wasn't really possible, however, as this system
was actually derived from the prototype which had served in the
development of the dummy system. At least, the Doctor had the
consolation that this specific piece of machinery was recycled
into something less... disturbing. Although she couldn't chase
away the uneasiness she felt about this project as easily as she
did with NERV's other secrets. Even if mankind's survival hung in
the balance, it felt wrong to toy with such innocent and fragile
life. Telling herself that this was only yet another rescue
operation didn't really change her perception of things. She
simply couldn't shake the picture of baby Shinji out of her mind.
But there was really no other choice; *he* had already made his
decision.
Like she had told Misato, the odds of growing Shinji back to
full size were very good. Previous experiments on accelerated
growth had given her enough data to work on and hope for good
results. A mixture of hormones, nutriments, LCL and various other
chemicals would do the work, while a constant bio-feedback system
would constantly stimulate Shinji's muscles to avoid atrophy. Most
likely, Shinji would probably be healthier then he was before this
ordeal. Through the whole process, Shinji's brain would be
stimulated with impulses based on Unit-01's data; in essence,
Shinji would take a three week long trip down memory lane. Knowing
the child however, this would probably be closer to a long
nightmare then a pleasant dream.
Still... Ritsuko had doubts. This was a unique situation and
there was still many unknown variables, the most important
question being whether or not Shinji would wake up and remember
anything of his past. It was, after all, possible that his past
memories, even if still present in his subconscious, would never
resurface, even though she hoped the stimulation of his brain
would prevent such possibility from occurring. A scenario where
Shinji would end up with a fourteen year old body but keep a
baby's mind was still very much likely to happen. And in a worst
case scenario, Shinji could keep the mind of a baby, but end up in
a completely deformed body. If he didn't die. Thinking back at the
baby she had held in her arms at Maya's insistance, the Doctor
shuddered.
Silently, she vowed to herself to do all in her power to
succeed.
Yawning again, the Doctor looked back at her terminal screen,
debating whether to return to her work or simply give her body the
rest it was craving. The answer came to her in the form of a very
faint sound; some light snoring. With a little push, her chair
made a one hundred eighty degrees turn, giving her view of the
other side of the room, where her assistant was working on a
terminal similar to hers. Or, to be more precise, had been
working, as Maya was now fast asleep, her head on the table, only
centimeters from the keyboard.
Getting up, Ritsuko walked toward her young protegee and
gently let her fingers run through the younger woman's short brown
hair, a sign of affection she wouldn't have done had there been
someone else awake in the room. The young computer operator
mumbled something in her sleep, most of it unrecognizable, except
for the now much familiar word "sempai". Ritsuko wasn't really
sure about the girl's feelings, if she simply admired her or felt
something more... complex... and didn't really wish to know for
sure either. Still, she had to admit to herself that she felt some
attachment for the girl. In a way, she reminded her of herself
years ago, before... him.
"You poor thing... you must have been exhausted."
Rest, decided Ritsuko, was the most logical option. She was
tired, her assistant felt the same, and both of them would work
better after a few hours of sleep. The project was going well
anyway, and they were a bit ahead of schedule. No reason to be any
more stubborn.
Gently, Ritsuko shook the girl awake. Maya gave her a half
glazed look, barely awake.
"Sempai?"
"Come."
Helping the girl on her feet, she dragged her to a nearby
room. In other circumstances she would have avoided this place,
but she was reluctant to let Maya sleep on a table, or take away
any more sleep from her. Beside, this would be more efficient then
walking all the way to their apartment and... a bed was a bed. So,
as she entered the room labeled as 'Artificial Evolutionary
Laboratory', Ritsuko tried to ignore to project related to it. She
helped the still half asleep Maya onto a bed in a corner of the
room, who promptly resumed her slumber as she laid down. Removing
her lab coat, Ritsuko covered her protegee with it, and laid
herself on the bed, using what little space was left. It was a
rather tight fit, but it was enough. She smiled as she remembered
how similar it was to those few times back in college where she
had sometimes tried to help Misato with her studies up until very
early in the morning. The Doctor's whole body, however, suddenly
tensed as Maya turned in her sleep and pressed her chest into her
back, going even as far as hugging her with her left arm. Ritsuko
quickly relaxed as she realized that Maya was now snoring again
and was still clearly fast asleep. It was simply an innocent
gesture, as simple as hugging a pillow or a teddy bear while
sleeping. And besides... it did feel rather nice and warm. Sadly,
she wished *he* would do that...
"Goodnight, Maya. Sweet dreams."
Somewhere in-between sleep and awareness, Maya silently
thanked her sempai and cherished this moment, as it would be
forgotten the next morning.
Author's notes:
(1) One constant we often see in anime involving babies is the
female character going "Oh! It's so cute!" over the little baby's
burp. So I thought to show here the other side of the coin. And I
know just how much out-of-character this little bit is, but I just
couldn't resist. If it really bothers you, just skip that line, it
doesn't affect the rest of the story. But I simply find it too
funny to pass ^_^
My favorite chapter so far in this short series. But also the more
challenging, as I must venture on those dangerous grounds which
are Rei's emotions. You see, I am one to believe that Rei is
capable of emotions, but either doesn't recognize them, or simply
doesn't know how to handle them and therefore buries them. Aside
from her loyalty to the Commander that clouds her judgment, Rei
makes me think in a way of Vulcans in Star Trek. But here I have
Rei forced to face very unusual situations, nothing Gendo could
have anticipated and prepared her for. Here, Rei has to make
choices. And here, Rei has to face one simple reality; whatever
she is, she's also a woman. If there is such a thing as a maternal
instinct, and it is bound to affect her. And if such a thing
doesn't exist, then the impression of Yui within her still exists.
It's still, however, very hard to reach the right mixture of usual
Rei apathy and the awakening of emotions she wasn't aware she had.
For those who wonder, Rei's lullaby was not made up by me. It's
the result of a good hour of searching over the internet. After
looking at the lyrics of over 50 lullabies, I found this one which
I found to be an excellent match for Rei (or should I say Yui?).
Interestingly enough, its title is "Japanese Lullaby" and it was
written by Eugene Field. It was found on this URL:
http://www.kididdles.com/
Extra info:
(my thanks to Thomas C Kinnen who provided them)
Babies development timeline:
- Babies teeth will grow from the sixthh to the eighth month.
- Babies will be able to sit up from thhe seventh month and walk
in about a year.
- Six month old babies sleep 14 to 18 hhours per day with two or
three naps.
- By the fourth month babies turn towarrds sounds.
- By the fifth month They should be ablle to recognize favorite
objects. They should also be able to hold their own bottle.
- By six months, they should be lookingg for objects (ie: if you
show the baby keys and then drop them, the baby should look to see
where they fell).
- From six to nine months, they start ppoking at things.
Food:
- Breast milk and/or formula for the fiirst six months, semi-solid
foods (baby Cereal, mashed/strained fruits, yogurt) from about the
fourth month.
Of course, since Shinji ain't a normal baby, I can take one or two
liberties ^_^
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