This is a very in depth fan fic sent to me from Ally, Dee, Sarah and Kara. They wrote it together which must make it even harder to do as I know any time I try to write with other people we end up with bloody noses by the end of the day. This fan fic is great not only because it points out chibi's flaws, but also manages to include a little bit of dub-bashing, which I always love. Ally, Dee, Sarah, and Kara will accept questions, comments, complaints, or whatever other meaningless junk you would like to send in. Their address is DeeSaraMe@aol.com. If you like this fan fic take the time to send them something. Or if you have a fan fic of your own you would like posted, send it to me at anti_chibi@hotmail.com.
*Enjoy!

Our story takes place in the home of Tsukino Usagi. (Serena to all you dubbies out there.) We can see that Serena, her family and Mamoru...er...Darien are all sitting around the breakfast table eating quietly. They suspect nothing...there were no warnings to the danger that was lurking around the corner. A pair of pink devil horns....oops! I mean A pair of pink ordangoes peek around the door. A pair a red eyes follow. Still those innocent people are unaware of the evil being in their presence. Darien tries lamely to stir up some conversation.
"Uhh so how are your school grades doing, Serena?" he asks. Serena shoots him a look that could melt ice.
"Yes dear how are your school grades? You haven't been bringing home any tests lately." her mother comments. A familiar anime sweat drop forms on Serena.
"Well...uh..mom..I" she stutters. While she's talking she reaches in her back pocket and begins to crumple yet another failed test.
Meanwhile watching through evil red eyes Serena's so-called cousin takes this opportunity to make her entrance. Shingo (Sammy) spotted her first. "Forget the tests Mom!" he cried standing up in his chair. "There she is again!" He points franticly to where Rini stands.
"Why are you stalking us?" Serena's mom wonders. "Whoever you are get out of our house!" roars her father. Rini looks hurt and her eyes fill with tears.
"But I'm you're niece!" she whines. "Don't you love me?" While putting on this act of disgustingly sweet cuteness she reaches behind her back and pulls out that weird umbrella thing. She starts to spin it around pointing it at the family. They stand there unaffected. "Stupid thing why don't you work?!?!?!" Rini screams in rage hitting the hypnotizing umbrella against the wall. Her eyes flash red and for just a moment her true nature is revealed. The umbrella starts to work again and spin and her rage is concealed by sugary sweetness once more. "There we go! I knew it would work eventually." she says in a singsong voice.
While Rini was throwing her fit, the family and Darien were standing off to one side, watching her with interest. Of course they were heavily armed. Mom had grabbed a frying pan, Dad grabbed a spatula, Sammy grabbed Serena to use as a shield and Darien already had grabbed a rose out of his back pocket. Rini turns to them with the hypnotizing umbrella, full-functioning, and yells
"Now you'll remember!" She turns the umbrella around and starts cackling. It was at this time that Luna woke up and decided she was hungry. She walked lazily into the kitchen expecting to see the familiar scene of a family eating breakfast. Instead her eyes were greeted with the sight of Serena's family being hypnotized by a devil child with pink hair. She also saw Serena and Darien in the other corner of the room cowering in the devil child's wake. Luna shook her head and decided to allow them some time to escape. She did a backflip into the air and hit the light switch to 'off'.
This didn't really help, it just made things worse. The now-brain-washed parents panicked. Dad hit Sammy over the head with the spatula by accident and he screamed before he slumped to the floor. Mom heard Sammy scream and swung the frying pan hoping to ward off the attacker. The pan ht Darien in the head and knocked him out cold. Serena screamed as Darien fell into her arms, unconscious. She screamed even louder when Darien fell out of her arms, and landed on top of her, pinning her to the floor. Rini was in the middle of this chaos laughing her head off. That's when Dad decided he could help too by throwing his spatula. He chucked it across the room and it hit Rini square in the head. She stopped cackling and started bawling.
"WAH!!! Serena hit me!!!!" Serena called up from underneath Darien
"I did not you little spore!" Dad had just discovered he had knocked out Sammy and was yelling hysterically
"Oh my god I killed him! Call an ambulance!" Luna stood on top of the counter rolling her eyes.
"I don't know why I even bother..." she said and went to go get help.
Later that afternoon everything had been straightened out. Sammy hadn't died (much to the disappointment of Serena) , Darien was revived, Mom, Dad and Sammy were all brain washed, and Rini was as evil as ever. Serena and Darien met the other scouts at Rei's.....sigh.....I mean Raye's temple. As usual the scouts were milling around the premises, and the guardian cats were looking noble and wise. Serena and Darien relayed that mornings experience to the others. Lita (Hey! I didn't put Makato!) pondered this information,
"Rini is getting bolder everyday .Her sugary sweet disguise is getting stronger. It's getting easier and easier for her to fool people. That innocent voice, the cute personality....I'm telling you guys she's out to get us!!" Lita yelled. The other scouts and Darien stared open mouthed at Lita.
"What?!?! What are you all staring at?" she yells.
"Well, you're usually not the smart one..I'm the one who comes up with an insight on the situation." Amy began. "I mean, you're usually very tough and reckless." Lita pushes her way through the other scouts to get to Amy.
"Are you tellin me I'm stupid??" Amy begins to sweat.
"No! No I--" Lita's temper begins to flare.
"I'm not reck...reck..."
"Reckless" Mina finishes for her.
"Yeah, that's it, reckless. Well I'm not! Don't insult me! I can insult you too! I mean come on! You talk with a British accent and this is JAPAN!" Amy blushes bright red
"Well--I---" At this point Raye steps in.
"Um guys...We kind of got off the subject. We're loosing the readers attention." Lita and Amy turn their backs to each other and stick out their tongues. Serena is distressed by this.
"Hey you, the person whose writing this!!" she yells, "Why are they fighting? Me and Raye are the ones who are always supposed to fight!!" At this point the writer is getting bored and is fed up with this whole scene so she decides to speed things up.
The scouts and Darien find themselves in front of Rini's school.
"Huh? How'd we get here?" Mina asks.
"I guess this is where we were eventually going to go before we delayed the story." Serena answers. The schoolyard is filled with little kids. A large group of them seemed to be crowding around the slide. The scouts crept over there and peered over the top. At the bottom of the slide sat Rini with a notebook and pen scribbling away.
"What are you writing?" Momoko asked. (In dubbed Momoko is Rini's little friend.)
"It's my plans of conquest!" Rini said evilly. "First I get rid of those pesky Sailor Scouts and that awful annoying Serena. Then Mamo-chan..Uh I mean...Darien is all mine!!! After that I take over the world!!" her red eyes flash and her ordangoes curl to form horns.
"But Rini, isn't Darien your daddy?" some kids wondered.
"So? I have no morals what does that mean to me?" retorted Rini. Just then the school bell rang and all the kids ran inside. Rini went in with them leaving the notebook behind.
After Rini had finished her speech and gone inside the scouts popped up from behind the slide. Serena's face was red with rage and Darien's was red with embarrassment.
"That little **** ******* ***** slut!!!!!!" Serena screamed in rage. "Imagine stealing my Mamo-..I mean....my Darien!!!"
Meanwhile, Darien stooped over the slide and picked up the notebook. He flipped through the pages filled with Rini's plans of conquest to the back of the book. At the back of the book written in tiny letters were the words 'Destroy Scouts Tonight In The Park'.
"Look at this girls!" Darien called. He looked up to find the scouts climbing over the playground equipment. "Girls!!" He yelled and they obediently trotted over to him. "Where's Serena? This is important!" He yelled waving the notebook around. Serena was standing on the other side of the slide muttering words that aren't appropriate to print here.
"Serena! Darien wants you!" the scouts called in that annoying way where they all talk together. Serena trudged over still muttering under her breath.
"Girls Rini is planning to destroy you tonight. We have to meet her in the park and be ready for her!" Darien said these last words with a flourish pounding his fist on the slide. The girls barely flinched.
"Yeah whatever Darien.." they commented. Then they walked away planning what they were going to wear for the big fight with Rini.
"Come on Serena. Let's get out of here." Darien says. Still cursing softly Serena attaches herself to Darien's arm and they walk away.
A small figure with disgustingly pink hair watches from the shadows. "Its all going according to plan... They found the note. Now I'll be ready for them. HAH HAH HAH HAH!!" The laughter echoes through the empty playground. "You better watch out Sailor Scouts...you have my Mamo-..uhh...my Darien and I want him back! I'll release all the evil forces that follow me if that's what it takes!" the figure's eyes glow red and evil vibes radiate around her. The figure walks slowly back in the school shaking with laughter at the thought of destroying the scouts. The school door slams shut and we move on to the next scene.
Later on that night the scouts and Tuxedo Kamen....er.....Tuxedo Mask are all walking towards the park. The moon is full and as usual Serena and Darien seem entranced by it. The other scouts are all far ahead nearing the battle sight and Serena and Darien are locked arm in arm staring up at the moon.
"Its beautiful isn't it Darien?" Serena breathed.
"Of course, my sweet meatball head." he coos. They were so busy staring up at the sky that they didn't notice the upcoming tree. WHACK! They both flatten against the tree and two immense lumps form on their heads.
"OW!!!!!!" Serena whines and a stream of tears leak out of her eyes. Raye is getting very annoyed.
"Come on you big baby! We have a fungus to defeat!! And you're over here bawling like a baby!" she yells, her mouth getting to be the size of a watermelon. Darien tries to break up the fight by distracting Raye.
"Raye! Its an evil spirit!" he cries.
"Where, where? Quick someone start a fire! We have to communicate with it!" Raye shrieks. The dispute is quickly forgotten and the scouts run around preparing for the spirit-communication. Amy dashes to get the firewood, Lita gets out the ancient book of writing and Raye sits cross-legged on the park floor humming softly. Darien stands there bewildered.
"It was a joke!" he calls but it's no use. The scouts were involved in communicating with spirits and had totally forgotten about the battle.
"Come on Darien don't be such a stick in the mud." Mina calls and pulls him in the circle they formed on the ground. Lita starts the ceremony by slinging her arm around Amy's shoulder and singing out of key.
"Koom-by-ya my lord! Koom-by-ya!!" she croaks. They all start to sway and the battle is long forgotten.
Well, forgotten by all except one. One child made up pure evil watches from the shadows. She watches as those stupid scouts sing their song. Mainly she watches Darien. "He's too good for them." she hisses. "And now its time to take back what's rightfully mine." Then Rini starts to change into her true form.....
Raye's head snaps around toward the direction of the line of trees. "I sense and evil spirit!" She announces.
"Oh you always do!" Serena whines. But just to be safe they start to transform.
"Mercury power!" Amy yells. Cheesy music plays and blue lights flash. When they clear Mercury stands where Amy was. Thing go pretty smoothly, all the other scouts transformations are complete. All except Darien.
"How do you transform anyway?" asks Lita. Darien shrugs.
"I'm not sure. I mean in 200 episodes I'm pretty sure they showed it in one of them. Unfortunately I was never allowed to transform. It was always my stunt double." he sighs heavily.
"But you have to transform!" Mina yells. "The reader is waiting!" Darien takes a deep breath and yells
"Sailor Earth Transform!" There is cheesy music, flashing black and red lights and of course a rose or two. "Hmm..everything must be going right." Darien thought. When the transformation finished he struck a pose for the scouts. "What do you think?" He asked dramatically.
The scouts burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" Darien demanded. He slowly looked down at what he was wearing. "AHHHHHHH!!" he screamed. Because instead of his tuxedo he was wearing a black fuku complete with a skirt. "Save me!!!!!" he screamed and desperately tried to pull the wretched thing off. The scouts were in tears they were laughing so hard. Mars was slapping her knee like some sort of a hillbilly with tears running out of her eyes. Venus had collapsed on top of Jupiter and both of them were hiccuping from laughter. Mercury was rolling on the park floor screaming with laughter. Darien was still fumbling around with the fuku trying to pry it off.
"It's not funny!" he yelped. He yanked of the earrings and started to unbraid his hair from odangoes. A huge anime sweat drop had formed on his head and his face was beat red. He yanked off the tiara and started to kick off the high heeled shoes. Sailor Moon was standing in the middle of the chaos pondering the situation. She studied her boyfriend from head to toe. Finally she yelled
"I don't see what's so funny. I think he looks adorable!" That sent the scouts into another fit of uncontrollable laughter.
Meanwhile in the thicket of trees in the park Rini was just finishing changing into her true form. Her red eyes glowed furiously and seemed to pop out of her head. Her pink hair turned blood red and curled at the ends to form horns. Her cute school dress she was wearing started to turn red and form a gown similar to queen Beryl's. In one hand a plaque appeared. on the plaque were the signatures and symbols of all the famous villains in history. There was the Negamoon and Negaverse symbols, the signature of Ail and Anne, and many more. In the other hand she carried a long, sharp, pointy spear. When the transformation was finally done Rini laughed an evil laugh that echoed through the park and sent shivers down everyone's spine. Then she slowly emerged from the trees.
The scouts were still in having a laugh attack when the small figure emerged from the woods. Venus stopped laughing long enough to point it out.
"Look!" she gasped. "It looks like Rini....but what is she wearing?" Sailor Moon gasped. Darien looked up long enough to shriek. And of course all the other scouts yelled in unison "RINI?!?!" Rini laughed her evil laugh again.
"You fools! How could you have been so blind? How could someone that sweet be pure good? I was acting the whole time. I have no interest in the Silver Crystal. Or finding my mother. Or even this!" She whacks Luna-P (which had been secretly following her the whole story) in the head causing it to break.
"I'll take care of you Rini!' Sailor Jupiter yells. " Supreme Thunder!!!" The antenna sticks out of her tiara and gathers lightning bolts. They shoot out at Rini. "Hah hah hah!" Rini yells gleefully not even attempting to move put of the way of the upcoming attack. "Why isn't she moving?" Venus wonders. "She's just gonna let the bolts hit her?" Rini lifts up her pinky finger and the lightning veers away from her. Instead it turns towards Jupiter.
"Mako-chan!!!" everyone screams. But it was too late. The bolts hit Jupiter and electrocuted her. She fell to the ground dead. "Oh no!!!!" everyone moans.
"Just try to fight me scouts! You'll all end up dead and I'll be doing the villains of the world a big favor." Rini screams out. Venus was getting really worked up about this speech.
"It's not fair!" she cries out. "I can't stand this anymore! I need some attention! I mean even Rini has a distinctive personality now! Am I the only one without a personality???" The remaining scouts ponder this for a second and then nod. "No!!!!!!" wails Venus. "Now I have to do something heroic or stupid to be recognized in this fan fic!" Rini smiles smugly.
"Come on Venus are you ready to fight or are you too afraid to?"
"That's it!" Venus exclaims. "I'll be afraid! That's my personality! I'll be the coward!" Happy to have found her true identity at last Venus trots away to go cower under a bed somewhere.
"Come on scouts!" Rini taunts. "Two down 3 to go." Darien eyes her suspiciously.
"You mean 4 to go counting me." Rini's blood red eyes soften.
"Oh Mamo-chan...grrrr...I mean Darien. I'm getting rid of the scouts for you! Then we can be together forever."
Darien is getting very angry and rather hot under his fuku. "DON'T YOU GET IT??? I'M YOUR GOD DAMN FATHER!!! I CAN'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!!"
Rini doesn't seem at all bothered by his use of foul language. (By the way kiddies don't repeat that at home) "Listen up scouts. You give me Darien and I disappear from your lives all together. But if you refuse....." She gathers an amount of Dark Energy in her hands to demonstrate. Mercury, Mars and Moon look from each other to Rini, then to Darien. Serena takes a big breath.
"All right Rini you win. You can have Darien." Darien jumps about fifty feet in the air when he hears this news.
"WHAT?!?!?!" he screams. But it was too late. Rini had already finished taking on her innocent disguise and was dragging Darien away. He struggled desperately but she had a grip like iron. A few roses went zipping past Rini's head but she didn't notice. She had what she had come for. Now she could return to the future and wreck havoc.
Meanwhile in the future...... A blast of pink light. The sound of annoying laughter. Could it be?? The innocent people of the Moon look up in time to see their doom crashing down.
"RUN!!!!" Some scream. Others hide. Neo Queen Serenity the gentle ruler of Crystal Tokyo and unfortunate mother of the spore comes out of the palace. She tries to reason with her daughter.
"Please honey don't hurt me! Just give your future father back to the scouts and no one will get hurt!" Rini didn't buy this act one bit and war broke out through the moon kingdom.
Now by this time the author is getting really bored by the whole ordeal. She decides to help out. So since you know this is an anti-chibi fan fic you probably guessed Rini was gonna die. So why not speed it up a little?
Rini was up in her room of the palace having a tea party with Darien when the author decides to interrupt her own story. Sailor Callipso (alias Ally) appears in the spore's room. Plastered on the walls of her room were letters from C.U.T.E members, pictures of Helious and Darien and of course of her true parents: Esmaruade (Emerald) and Prince Diamond.
"Ick." Sailor Callipso comments. Rini ties Darien to the teapot and gets up off the ground to investigate the intruder.
"Who are you?" she asks with her hands on her hips. "I can do my Pink Sugar Heart Attack on you!" Sailor Callipso laughs at the puny being before her.
"I'm here to destroy you kid." Sailor Callipso says showing Rini her various anti-chibi pages (CURE, LAKACUA, DWP,AFCCB and others) Rini being the dumb being she is still can't face the fact that the fan fic is ending.
"So you're just going to kill me?" she asks "I mean come on, after all this build up and suspense that's it? This fan fic sucks." Sailor Callipso is getting fed up.
"OK fungus. You want a different ending? I'll show you a different ending." Sailor Callipso uses one of her shape- changing spells on Chibi-Usa. "Let's see it has to be pink, and disgustingly sweet, but also tempting (I mean come on! How many C.U.T.E members did she recruit?). And of course edible. There's nothing like being destroyed by stomach acid...." Sailor Callipso snaps her fingers. "Ahah!" and very slowly Chibi-Usa starts to turn into cotton candy. When she's done changing Sailor Callipso picks her up, unties Darien and gets the hell out of there.
When Sailor Callipso returns Darien to the scouts they are overjoyed. Serena thought she couldn't be happier. But she was wrong. When she saw that tempting bunch of cotton candy in Sailor Callipso's hand she couldn't help herself.
"Gimmie it!!" she cried and crammed it in her mouth. Sailor Callipso shuddered and grimaced at what Serena had just consumed. Just then Serena doubled over in pain. "What was that?" she gasped "It tastes like poison!" Sailor Callipso shook her head sadly and walked away.
"You don't want to know Serena. You really don't want to know." The End

This fan-fic is property of Sailor Callipso (Ally), Sailor Amythest (Sarah), Sailor Celestial (Kara) and Sailor Tear Drop (Dee). Sorry for any typos or language if you're sensitive. We hope it made you crack a smile or even roll your eyes.
Ally, Sarah, Dee and Kara

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