Okay, time to stop stalling and get this next chapter done. I’m trying not to fall back into my old habits of taking months and months between updates. The problem I’m having currently is that I know where I’m going with the fic, I’m just not entirely sure how I’m getting there :P But anyway, here we go!
Chapter completed: 2007.08.05
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Miscalculation
Chapter 2: Less Than
Author: Sailorspazz
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“Hey, Vegeta, are you busy?”
Bulma had happened to come walking down the hallway right as Vegeta was exiting the bathroom. He had just finished showering and was about to relax in his room for a while after a hard day of training. “What do you want?”
“Well, since the wedding we’re going to is just a couple of days away now, I figured you might need a briefing on Earth wedding customs. Come with me and I’ll give you a lesson.”
Vegeta glanced down at his towel-clad self. “Right now?”
Bulma slyly looked him up and down. “Well, you can put on clothes if you want to, but I’m not going to force you,” she said with a giggle. “Meet me in the living room when you’re decent.”
“Such a vulgar woman…” Vegeta muttered to himself as he walked down the hallway toward his bedroom. He was used to being in environments where his presence commanded respect and fear, and now he found himself the object of amusement for a measly woman. Vegeta got dressed and made his way to the living room, where Bulma was waiting for him.
“OK, first thing we need to talk about is your clothing. You’re going to be wearing a suit, and I found one of Yamcha’s old ones lying around. I need you to try on this jacket to see if it’ll fit you,” Bulma explained as she pulled the jacket over his shoulders.
Vegeta tried moving his arms. How would he be able to fight in something so constricting? “It’s uncomfortable.”
“Comfort isn’t the point. You’re just supposed to look good.” She stepped back to look at him. “Hmm, the sleeves look a little long, but I can have them hemmed. The pants will probably need hemming, too, since you’re quite a bit shorter than Yamcha.”
“Can I leave now?” Vegeta grumbled, not appreciating her degrading side comments.
“No, we’re not even close to being done yet! Here’s a question for you: do you know how to dance?”
“Why would I know how to do something frivolous like that?”
“Well, you’re a prince, right? Didn’t you attend lavish masquerade balls where all the maidens clamored for a chance to dance with the dashing prince?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not like the princes in your silly Earth fairytales.”
Bulma sighed. “Well, I like dreaming of romantic things like that. The title of prince is wasted on someone as unromantic as you.”
“Then, since apparently I’m not ideal, I’ll just get back to my training and let you find someone more suitable.” He started to walk away, but Bulma grabbed his hand.
“Wait, Vegeta! Don’t leave, I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“You’re doing a pretty good job at it for someone who’s not trying.”
“I was just kidding. Maybe you shouldn’t be so sensitive.”
“Look who’s talking. I’ve heard you have screaming matches with you idiot boyfriend over lesser offenses.”
“OK, so we’re both a bit high strung. That just means you and I need to be careful with what we say to one another.”
“Or you could just keep your goddamn mouth shut, woman.”
Bulma tightened her fists. She really wanted to clock him, but realized that the consequences of doing so were not ones she wanted to face. Through clenched teeth she spat out, “Don’t…call…me…that. If we’re supposed to be acting like we’re a real couple at the wedding, you’re going to have to learn to call me by my name.”
The Saiyan prince responded with an eye roll.
Since Bulma had managed to calm herself down, she decided to try reasoning with Vegeta. “OK, obviously you and I don’t get along very well. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still make this arrangement work. I mean, you teamed up with Krillin and Gohan on Namek, right? When working towards a common goal, even enemies can learn to tolerate each other. So think of it this way: right now, you and I have a common enemy in Yamcha.”
“A worthless peon like him is hardly worthy of being considered my enemy,” Vegeta sniffed.
“Fine: Yamcha is my enemy, but you still have something to gain out of it if we are able to ‘defeat’ him. So, I think it’s possible for us to be civil towards one another until we have achieved our goal. Our clashing personalities might lead to a blowup every five minutes, but we can still work through that, don’t you think?”
Vegeta snorted. “I don’t care.”
At least it wasn’t a negative response. “OK. Now, let’s get back to the matter at hand. So you can’t dance, right?”
“I don’t know that I can’t, I’ve just never felt any need to try.”
“Well, now it’s time to try. First we’ll try something upbeat.” Bulma walked over to the entertainment center and pressed the play button on the stereo.
Oh, the mysteries of love…
As the music began to play, Bulma began to sway her arms and hips as she made her way back over to where Vegeta was standing. “It’s simple: you start moving your body in time with the rhythm like this, and just let it go wherever the music takes you. Come on, try it with me.”
Vegeta stood with his arms crossed. “This is stupid.”
“No, it’s fun!” She reached forward, uncrossed his arms and grabbed his hands. Bulma continued to dance around him, moving his arms in time with her movements. However, his feet remained in a statuesque position, refusing to budge.
“Would it kill you to move your feet a little?”
“Is my moving my feet while we dance a necessary component in your plan to make Yamcha jealous?”
“Well, technically, no, but you could at least put a little effort into this.”
“I think just showing up is more than enough of an effort on my part.”
“Like it or not, I’m expecting a bit more from you than that. I guess it’s okay if you don’t want to dance with me to fast songs, but you have to do slow songs with me.”
“I have to?" Again, she was trying to give him orders.
“Yes, you have to. I know that the thing that’s going to make Yamcha the most jealous will be seeing me swept up in the arms of another man as we gracefully glide across the dance floor. If you can’t even do that for me, then I’m going to do nothing to help you in your quest of becoming a Super Saiyan. The amount of effort you put into this will equal the amount of effort I put into developing your training equipment.”
Vegeta got right in front of her in a threatening manner, their faces so close they could feel each other’s breath. “Listen here, woman…”
“I told you to call me Bulma.” She refused to budge from her position, staring back at him defiantly.
It was infuriating to Vegeta how someone like him who could destroy entire worlds with a flick of his finger was unable to intimidate a woman with no fighting power whatsoever. “Listen, Bulma,” he spat out the word as if it were something vile. “How would you feel if you pissed me off so much that I went and blew up your house and killed your family, Bulma? Don’t you think it might be a good idea to not be such an insolent bitch, Bulma?”
The expected rage-filled tirade did not come. Instead, Bulma just replied coolly, “I don’t think you would do that.”
“Oh, really? And why wouldn’t I?”
“I’m sure you’re aware that Capsule Corp. is home to the most advanced technology in the world. If you were to kill Papa and me and blow up our facilities, then how would you do your gravity training? No other scientists on this planet are capable of creating the advanced equipment you have access to here, so I don’t think it would be in your best interest to harm us.”
‘Dammit, she’s figured it out.’ For the very reasons she had stated, all of the threats Vegeta had ever made against her were idle. ‘Is that why she’s not afraid of me?’ The Saiyan prince had always used intimidation as his main tactic for getting what he wanted, so he wasn’t sure how to deal with someone who refused to be bullied. “I…could always go to another planet to find the technology I need.” A lame response, but he was too flustered to come up with something wittier.
“And where would you find a spaceship without Capsule Corp.?”
‘I can not lose to this woman!’ His pride would not allow him to let Bulma keep getting the better of him. However, before he could think of a response, Bulma had already moved on.
“Okay, so let’s get on with your slow dance lesson.” She made her way over to the stereo and switched to a different track.
In the sea of the galaxy…
“Now, grab my hand like this, and put your other hand on my hip. Then all we do is sway back and forth. Not so hard, is it?”
It felt awkward for Vegeta to be physically close to another person in a nonviolent manner, but he would not let his face make that fact obvious. Allowing himself to blush would only mean another victory for the Capsule Corporation heiress.
“You’re not so bad at this. So do you think you can manage to do this for me for an hour or two at the wedding reception?”
Vegeta rolled his eyes. “I don’t know. I can train for hours under 300 times gravity, but the strain of slowly moving my feet for a while might be too much for me to handle.”
Bulma laughed. “Well, I guess you have a point. And who knew you had a sense of humor under all that arrogance?”
Suddenly, the door leading from the kitchen popped open. Bulma’s mother walked into the living room, got a glimpse of Vegeta and Bulma, and put her hand over her mouth in surprise. “Oh, my! I didn’t mean to interrupt. Don’t you lovebirds mind me, I’m just passing through.”
“Mama! It’s not what it looks like!” Bulma said as she broke away from Vegeta
“Oh, you said the same thing the first time I caught you and Yamcha in--”
“Mama!” Vegeta watched in amusement as Bulma turned beet red. Even though he couldn’t seem to win against Bulma, at least he could take some consolation in the fact that Bulma could never win against her parents. “I’m serious! Nothing’s going on between us. I’m taking Vegeta with me to Mulai and Molen’s wedding this weekend, and I’m just giving him some lessons on wedding etiquette. That’s it!”
“No need to get so defensive, honey, I’m just teasing you.” She leaned closer to Bulma and whispered, “Good luck!” She giggled and left the room.
“As if I would ever be interested in a jerk like him!” Bulma yelled after her. She turned around to face Vegeta again, noticing his amused smirk. “What are you smiling about?”
Vegeta coughed. “Nothing.”
“Anyway, I think we’ve done enough for today. I’ll have your suit altered, and then all you have to do is follow my lead when we’re out on our date and everything will go fine.”
“Because you and I get along so well.” Vegeta’s statement was saturated with sarcasm.
“It’s fine if we argue, we just have to do it…discreetly. I don’t want to ruin my friend’s big day by having a huge scuffle with my date at her wedding. We can’t let it come to that.”
“I’m not promising anything. You have the remarkable ability to piss me off over nothing.”
“Same to you. But I’m sure we can put our differences aside long enough to put Yamcha in his place. Anyway, I’ve got some things to do today, so I’ll see you later.”
Even after Bulma left the room, Vegeta found that he was still smirking. Was it wrong that having arguments with that woman had become the highlight of his day? With his training seeming to stagnate as of late, he found his mind looking for other stimulation, and Bulma was proving his preferred form of entertainment. He certainly wasn’t considering ditching his solitary lifestyle to do anything more than bicker with her, though. He could admit that she was an attractive woman, but that didn’t mean he was attracted to her.
‘I have a goal. It’s not worth it to do anything that will distract me.’
However, sometimes certain distractions could prove to be too tempting to ignore.
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“Vegeta? Are you ready yet?”
“Almost.” The Saiyan prince examined himself in the mirror. He was dressed in a dark blue suit with a crisp white shirt underneath, black patent leather shoes on his feet. The whole ensemble was quite stiff and uncomfortable. He much preferred his usual attire of spandex training clothing; even the effeminately colored Earthling clothing Bulma had given him to wear was better than this. Vegeta still had one more piece of the outfit that he wasn’t quite sure what to do with. “Hey, wo-…I mean, Bulma. Come help me with this.” It was still hard to call her by her name, but a couple days of her screaming at him every time he called her ‘woman’ had nearly broken him of the habit.
Vegeta turned to talk to her as she entered the room, but was stopped short of saying anything as he took in her appearance. She was wearing a magenta colored dress that hugged every curve on her body. The spaghetti straps and low-cut neckline showcased her upper half very nicely. The material clung to her waist and hips and then flared out into a wraparound hem that was slightly above her knees in the front and reached mid calf in the back. Her hair was no longer done up in the silly afro she had been sporting previously; she now adopted a flowing, wavy style that reached just past her shoulders.
Bulma noticed Vegeta’s slack-jawed gawking and smiled coyly. “How do I look?” she said as she twirled around.
The words that came to his mind, including ‘gorgeous’, ‘stunning’ and ‘drop-dead sexy’, were things he should not even be thinking, let alone saying. “You look…not hideous.”
“Oh, well, then I guess I could say you look not unhandsome,” she said with a giggle as she walked over to him. “Now, what do you need help with?”
“This.” He held out a piece of thin fabric that matched the color of Bulma’s dress.
“The necktie? Okay, let me do it.” Bulma took the tie from his hands and got a puzzled look on her face as she began to attempt to tie it around his neck properly. She was too busy to notice that Vegeta had begun staring at her body again.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Vegeta thought to himself. They hadn’t even left for the date yet, and already he couldn’t stop ogling her. This did not bode well. Was his resolve really so weak that he wouldn’t be able to resist her?
After about thirty seconds of fiddling with the necktie, Bulma threw up her hands in frustration. “I don’t know how to tie this stupid thing! I’ve only ever taken them off before.”
Her unintentional sexual comment didn’t help matters.
“I’m going to go get Mama. She’ll know how to do it.”
Vegeta clenched his fists as she darted out of his room. Why were his repressed desires suddenly coming out so strongly? Just because Bulma had dressed up a little? She was still the same woman he had argued with practically every day for the past two and a half years. The whole date was just a ruse to get her ex-boyfriend riled up. There was no reason to get excited over it.
‘Get a grip, dumbass.’
Bulma reentered the bedroom with her mother in tow. “Oh, my, you look so handsome!” Bulma’s mother declared as she caught sight of Vegeta. With necktie in hand, she walked up in front of him. “Okay, this is how you tie it…”
He tuned out her overly cheery voice as she explained the process while tying the necktie about his neck. Why should he pay attention, it’s not as if he was ever going to wear silly clothes like these again. Instead, he found himself realizing that, though Bulma’s mother was wearing a top nearly as low-cut as her daughter’s was, he didn’t feel the same desire to voraciously gaze upon her body the way he did with Bulma. Strange, since the two were quite similar physically.
“…And that’s how it’s done! Pretty simple, and it adds so much to the look! Bulma, stand next to Veggie so I can see how you look together.” Vegeta growled at the use of that embarrassing nickname. No matter how much he threatened her to stop, much like her daughter she didn’t take his threats seriously. “Ooh, you two look so adorable together! Wait right here, I’m going to go get my camera!”
“Mama, it’s not like we’re going to the prom or something!” But Mrs. Briefs had already flitted out of the room. Bulma sighed and folded her arms over her chest. “Really, this isn’t a big deal. Nothing to get excited about.”
“I agree.” He was a bit taken aback that she had spoken the words he had thought to himself just minutes before.
“Still…” She smiled as she looked over at him. “I am a bit surprised that you clean up so nicely. You certainly look worthy of dating a high class lady such as myself.”
Vegeta scoffed, “I’ve never seen a high class lady as demanding and bratty as you are.”
“What did you say?!” As she made a move toward him, her mother reentered the room.
“Found the camera! Okay, now stand next to each other…closer…closer…there. Oh, Veggie, don’t look so sour. Now say cheese!” She snapped the picture and tittered. “I remember taking a picture like this with your father back when we first started dating. It’s photo I still treasure. Maybe I should get this one of you and Veggie framed so you two can reminisce about it as you get older.”
“Mama, I told you, we’re not dating, we’re going on a date. Speaking of which, we should get going before we’re late. Come on, Vegeta.”
“I’ll see you later, honey! Have fun, but not too much fun!” she yelled after them with a wink.
“Ugh, I can’t believe her! She has the completely wrong idea about this date,” Bulma huffed as she stepped into the air car. She glared at Vegeta as he climbed into the passenger seat. “And where do you get off calling me bratty and demanding? If anyone fits that description, it’s a certain Saiyan prince I know.”
“Maybe it applies to both of us a bit. More so to you than to me, of course.”
“Wow, a match made in heaven,” Bulma said in a falsely cheerful tone as she started the car.
“More like hell.”
Bulma blew a strand of hair away from her face with a sigh. “What is wrong with us, Vegeta? Why can’t we stop bickering with each other?”
“Because apparently we’re both too bratty and demanding.”
“And arrogant.”
“And self-centered.”
“Brutish.”
“Whiny.”
“Argh, stop it! We’re doing it again! This should not be our most common method of communication. We have to be civil to each other, at least for tonight.”
Truth be told, Vegeta would prefer to keep arguing with her since it kept him from dwelling on the fact that he might be a little bit attracted to her, but that was something he definitely could not admit aloud to Bulma. “We haven’t stopped fighting for over two years, so what makes you think we’ll be able to stop all of a sudden?”
“We need a miracle…or the Dragon Balls…but there’s no time for that! If we find ourselves bickering, we need to either just drop it or change the topic to something generic, like the weather or something.”
“I’m sure we could even argue about that.”
“Probably, but if we exercise restraint I’m sure even you and I can have a conflict-free evening.”
“Maybe, if you keep your mouth shut.”
“You jer-” Bulma cut herself off before retaliating. Might as well follow her own example. “So, Vegeta, what do you think about this sunny weather we’ve been having lately?”
“Such matters are beneath my notice.”
Bulma growled. “You’re making this extremely difficult.”
“I do my best.”
“You’re impossible!” Bulma shouted as she pulled her car into the parking lot of the church where the wedding was taking place. “Okay, we’re here now. Stop being so…you and behave yourself for the next couple of hours.”
“Are you with the bride or the groom?” an usher asked as they reached the entrance of the church.
“The bride.”
“Right this way, please.”
“Why are we being divided up? Are we going to battle the other side later?” Vegeta asked as they walked to their seats.
Bulma snickered. “No, silly. It’s traditional to divide the seating between the guests of the bride and guests of the groom.”
“Hn. My way is better.”
As they took their seats, Bulma began to glance around at the rest of the church. “I don’t see Yamcha here yet. I wonder if he’s still coming.”
“You mean we’re going through all this trouble and he might not even show up?”
“Well, it’s not like it’ll be a total loss if he doesn’t. I want to see my friend’s wedding, anyway, and this will be a good learning experience for you. It’s about time you started getting more exposure to Earth culture, since you’ve been living here so long.”
“Like I give a damn about Earth culture.” Suddenly, Vegeta felt a familiar energy signal. “He’s here.”
“What? How do you know?”
“While Yamcha’s ki may pale in comparison to one such as mine, it stands out quite noticeably when surrounded by the weak ki of average Earthlings.”
“Oh, so that means you can tell me where he is without me having to always look around for him. Even you can be useful sometimes!”
Vegeta wasn’t sure whether he should take that as a compliment or an insult, so he chose not to respond.
Bulma leaned closer and asked quietly, “So, where is he right now?”
“On the other side of the aisle, a few rows behind us.”
“Is there someone with him?”
“Unless his date has a strong ki as well, I won’t be able to tell unless I look.”
“Well, you can move at superhuman speed, right? Can’t you look fast enough that he won’t notice?”
“Of course. You doubt my abilities?” Vegeta swiftly turned his head over his shoulder in a movement that was imperceptible to the average human eye. However, Yamcha was far above average, and he caught Vegeta’s gaze for just a millisecond, giving him a look that could kill a lesser man.
“So? Did he notice us yet?”
“Definitely. He looks pissed.”
“Good. Serves him right. And is there someone with him?”
“There’s a woman. Blonde, busty, barely dressed.”
“Of course. That’s so like him. If he thinks that is going to make me jealous, he’s got another thing coming.” Suddenly, the music that had been playing softly in the background changed and swelled up, drowning out the voices of the guests. “Oh, the ceremony is about to start.”
Members of the wedding party began the processional as Bulma explained the significance of each to Vegeta. “Those are the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Next are the maid of honor and best man. And there are the ring bearer and flower girl…aww, they’re so cute!” The music changed once more, and all of the guests rose to their feet. “And here comes the bride. Come on, Vegeta, stand up!”
He looked up at her with a bored expression. “Why should I?”
Bulma ignored his aura of ennui and hissed at him, “It’s tradition. Just do it!”
The Saiyan grudgingly arose, though he had no interest in ceremony proceeding before him.
“Oh, Mulai looks so beautiful! I’m so happy for her. And to think, she was always telling me that I would be the one getting married first.” Standing up and facing towards the aisle, Bulma glanced over to the other side and caught sight of Yamcha. Her heart skipped a beat; she wasn’t sure if it was due to nerves, anger, or lingering feelings of affection for him. Almost as if he felt her watching him, Yamcha turned his head and looked straight at her. She quickly averted her eyes, but he had obviously noticed her, and had probably gotten the wrong idea about why she was looking at him, though she wasn’t quite sure herself what the reason was. The feeling she had gotten from him when their eyes met had been one of disappointment. Well, it didn’t really matter what he thought of her, so long as he didn’t think he had some chance of getting back together with her.
The bride reached the altar, and the guests all took their seats again. The minister began to speak. “We are gathered here today…”
As the ceremony began, Vegeta settled into a disinterested state while Bulma continued to think about her plot against Yamcha. She couldn’t let him catch her off guard anymore, or else she was going to lose. Also, knowing that he had brought his date with him for probably the exact same reason she had brought Vegeta with her, she couldn’t let herself become jealous over any flirtatious behavior the two of them might engage in. Bulma figured she would probably have to amp up the level of how far she went with Vegeta in order to surpass Yamcha. Might as well get a head start… “Hey, Vegeta.”
He opened one of his eyes to look at her. “What?”
“Put your arm around me.”
Vegeta balked at her request. “W-why?”
“I told you before that we’re going to have to get a little close physically in order to make Yamcha jealous. We’re starting now.”
‘Dammit,’ Vegeta thought. He had just gotten to the point where he could sit next to her and not be distracted by her closeness, and now she wanted to take things further. “I think we should wait. Strategically, it’s best not to--”
“Oh, fine, I’ll do it.” Cutting him off, Bulma put her arm around Vegeta’s shoulder. “See? Not so hard, is it?”
‘Easy for her to say.’ Obviously, Bulma was used to this sort of contact, but it was foreign to Vegeta. A ki spike farther back in the room told him that he wasn’t the only one having a strong reaction. “Yamcha seems to have noticed that.”
“Well, let’s give him some more to see, then.” She pulled Vegeta closer and put her head on his shoulder. “Did that get a rise out of him?”
“Yeah.” It also nearly got a rise of a different sort out of Vegeta. Now her breast was pressing against his arm, making it increasingly difficult for him to ignore what he didn’t want to think about.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
“Is it finally over?” Vegeta asked as he saw the wedding party heading back down the aisle.
“The ceremony is. Next, we go to the reception.”
“You mean there’s more?”
“Of course. Next comes the fun part where we have food, and dance, and really stick it to Yamcha. Let’s go.” The two of them walked out into the entryway, but Bulma stopped. “Oh, I almost forgot, we need to sign the guestbook.” She picked up the pen and opened the lacy, delicate-looking book.
“What’s the point of that?”
“So the happy couple can see the names of all of the people who attended.”
“Why?”
“Just…sign it. Don’t question everything I tell you!”
Muttering under his breath, he took the pen from her and stared at the page before him. Other guests had written messages like “Congratulations!” and “Good luck!” Vegeta didn’t really care about what the proper messages for a guestbook were, so he decided to write what he really thought of the whole affair.
Bulma took the book back from him after he finished writing. “Let’s see what you…what the hell?” Taking a decidedly unorthodox route, he had signed his name as ‘The Great Prince Vegeta’ and left the message, ‘I’d rather be training’. “I can’t believe you!”
“You have a problem with me?”
“Too many to list.” Bulma started flipping back through the pages of the guestbook. “Now, let’s see if Yamcha and his arm candy signed…oh, yes, there they are. And look, how appropriate, her name is Candi! She even dotted her ‘i’ with a heart. How cute.” She placed the book back down on the table. “All right, let’s get going.” The two of them exited the church and headed back towards the car, each making their own mental preparations for the next part of the evening. As Bulma fretted about over how she would deal with Yamcha, Vegeta worried about whether his resolve would actually turn out to be as strong as he had believed it to be.
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Okay, it took me two months, but I got it done. Actually, the reason this chapter took so long is that I originally had planned for the content of this chapter and the next to be one chapter, but seeing how lengthy it was getting I decided to divide it in two. So, the good news there is that I’ve already got a chunk of the next chapter completed, so it shouldn’t be too long before I get it done (assuming I don’t slack off, as I am wont to do ;P). Now if only Vegeta and Bulma would stop fighting and start smexing, I could get this whole thing completed all the more quickly ^_- Until next time!