This is what happens when you stay up until four AM talking about Utena,and you run out of serious things to talk about, and start being silly. Bewarned.

Top Ten Rejected Akio Vehicles
by Alan Harnum (harnums@thekeep.org) and Mercutio (MercutioV@aol.com)

1. Akio-Pinto: Explodes whenever you try to flip over the windshield.

2. Akio-tank: "The Ends of the World... I will show them to you." "Are we _there_ yet?" "Patience. This vehicle was not exactly built for speed."

3. Akio-pony: Cute and lovable, but just too damn small.

4. Akio-velocipede: What the hell's a velocipede, anyway?

5. Akio-Volvo: Safe, but safe ain't sexy.

6. Akio-Pepsi: The choice of a new Revolution. Whoops, wrong list.

7. Akio-hovercraft: Drives over land _and_ water? Akio is no fool--such a miraculous thing cannot be true!

8. Akio-sleigh: The jingling of harness bells drives Akio mad! Mad, I say!

9. Akio-station wagon: See Akio-Volvo.

10. Akio-Titanic: This one's obvious, isn't it?