Shot of Rei, Usagi, and Minako looking over a crushed-into-the-sand Carrot as he twitches and moans. Tira stands to the side, her mallet over her shoulder.
Rei: Wow, that must have hurt.
Usagi: Would you, like, like to try it, Rei?
Rei: No thanks, Usagi. He he.
Tira: Why are you such a pervert, Carrot?
Carrot lifts himself up slowly.
Carrot: I just have to be me, Tira.
Cut to Mamoru chilling out at the beach, away from the craziness that had been going on without him knowing. He lifted his black shades to his face and put them on as he reclined and bathed in the sunlight.
Mamoru: Sometimes I forget how nice and peaceful it is without those silly senshi.
Suddenly, a volleyball hits him right on his face. Chocolate runs up in her cute bikini and is immediately shocked and apologetic.
Chocolate: Oh, I'm so sorry. Gateau has a little trouble with aim and not knowing his own strength.
Cut to a shot of Gateau in his speedos surrounded by his almost all-female team. Sisqo's "Thong Song" plays in the background.
Gateau: I heard that, Chocolate.
Radio: .....That thong th thong thong thong....
Chocolate: Well, it's true. (To Mamoru)You want to join our game?
Mamoru (rubbing his forehead where the ball made contact): Why not?
He gets up and joins Chocolate's almost all-male team. The volleyball game continues, but Gateau, once again, uses too much force on the ball and sends it flying.
Cut to Carrot getting up, still dizzy from Tira's mallet attack. Suddenly, a volleyball hits him reall hard and he falls again into his little pit.
The girls: Carrot!
Tira (kneeling down and looking into the hole Carrot found himself again): Are you alright?
Chocolate V.O.: Soooory about that! (runs up) Tira!
Tira: Sis!
Chocolate (looks into pit): Darling! Oh, I'm sor...actually, on second thought, you probably deserved it anyway.
Gateau and Mamoru run up as well.
Rei, Minako, and Usagi (looking right at Gateau with hearts in their eyes): wow....
Gateau (giving a few macho poses as Mamoru sweatdrops next to him): Yes, my beauty is unsurpassed.
Mamoru (whispering to Usagi): Usako, you're embarassing me.
Usagi (still in a daze): Yes, you beauty is amazing.
Mamoru (to himself): This must be a trick of...uh...who's our enemy right now? It doesn't matter. This is a trick. And I, Tuxedo Mask must stop this. (to Usagi) Snap out of it. This is a trick, guys!
No reaction from the senshi.
Tira (to Chocolate): What is that guy talking about?
Chocolate: Beats me.
Carrot: eh?
Mamoru (to himself): Then it is up to me to stop them. (runs off to transform)
Carrot gets up and moans a little, hoping that he isn't whacked into that hole again. Usagi snaps out of her Gateau-induced trance and looks around.
Usagi: I thought I heard Mamo-chan's voice.
Minako: Oh well.
Rei (looking up): Hey guys, look up there!
Rei points up. On the roof of Akito's food stand stood a tuxedo-clad guy with a rose in hand.
Usagi (to herself): I hope he doesn't embarass me in front of that beefcake Gateau...
Tuxedo Mask: I will not let you put innocent girls in devious trances with you big muscles. I, Tuxedo Mask, will punish you.
Akito V.O.: Hey, what are doing on my stand! (Tuxedo trips slightly, shocked.)
Makoto V.O.: Mamoru!!! Get off our roof before I go up there and beat your ass up!!! And you know I can do it!!! (Everyone, especially Tuxedo, sweatdrops.)
Chocolate: What is he holding in his hand?
Tira: It looks like a flower.
Carrot: He's going to hurt us with some rose?
Tira: Roses do have their thorns, Carrot.
Tuxedo: I'm not going to hurt you with my rose. I'm going to hurt you by talking ad nauseum about the power of friendship and reciting Confucius sayings! Confucius says...
Tira: I'm not going to stand around listening to this guy. (She transforms into her leather dominatrix outfit.) You are not going to hurt these innocent beach-goers with your pathetic lines!
Tuxedo (gaa-gaas for a second): What a body......
Carrot: I knew that guy had to be a pervert, too. Hanging out with so many girls in super-skimpy and suggestive outfits.
Gateau: What?
Carrot: Sorry. I read that from something the author just handed me.
Author V.O.: No I didn't!
Tira lunges for Tuxedo Mask, whipping at him the whole way. The two ran up and down the beach, jumped over and pass other beachgoers as Tuxedo ran away and Tira gave chase.
Usagi: Hey, should she be doing that?
Rei: Should we let her?
The senshi shrug.
Minako: Why not? Those phrases he dish out are always, like, annoying...
Carrot: Tira can be scary...
Gateau:......
Carrot: But at least I'm not the one she's doing that to!
Tuxedo (wailing in pain): Senshi, please help me....
Tira (whipping Tuxedo some more): OOOOHOHOHHOHOHOHOHOHhohohohohohoh hohoh (snap, whack) ohohoho hoho (whack) ohoh oh hohohohoh (snap, whack, whack, snap, snap) hoh oh ho ho ohohoh oh......(whack)
Usagi (sighs): Fine.
Rei, Usagi, and Minako pull out their henshin sticks and transform into their senshi forms, Super Sailors Mars and Venus and Eternal Sailor Moon. Carrot's eyes drop out, but he does nothing further as Chocolate pounds him back into his little pit with her fist.
Chocolate: Uhm!
The senshi walk up to Tira, who's whipping Tux to a pulp as he huddled in a corner.
Moon: Tira?
Tira (stopping): Yes, Sailor Moon?
Moon: Would you stop now?
Tira: But why? You know as well as I do this guy is annoying and boring beyond belief! He deserves to be punished.
Chocolate runs up.
Mars: Yeah, we know, but...
Chocolate: And besides, he's pathetic. All he does is throw a rose, say some corny line, and just stand there! How can you stand up for him?
Ami (walking up, wrapping a towel around herself): Well, he is the token male in the show. He's with us so that the hero (points to Moon) has a love object. He doesn't do anything but look cute and show up dressed nice.
Venus: Yeah, like, those clothes he wears aren't, like designer, or like, even tasteful. As if.
Moon (upset): How can you guys talk about Mamo-chan like that!!!
Ami: Well, it is true-
Moon (interrupting her): It doesn't matter if it's true! You just can't talk about him like that!
Chocolate (confused): Ok, why is she upset?
Gateau: I think the question should be, what is she going to do.
Carrot (jumping in front of the upset Sailor Moon): Moon, baby, don't get upset.
Tira (whispered, warning): Carrot...
Carrot: Your boyfriend may be a total waste, but this is one guy that will treat you right, look good for all those giggling fans of your, and is not a complete embarassment like him (points to still beaten-down Tuxedo).
Sailor Moon pulls out her eternal teir and aims for Carrot.
Moon: Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!!!
Carrot gets all blushy and stuff as Sailor Moon says these words, but not for long, because he is hit right on his chest with her magic attack.
Tira: Carrot!
Chocolate: Darling!
Gateau: Carrot!
Too late. Carrot has started to transform into a huge tauros-like creature. He growls into the sky and looks down at the suddenly cowardly Sailor Moon.
Mars: Wonderful, Sailor Moon! Now you turned that little pervert into a big ol' monster.
Moon: Would it help any if I said I didn't mean to?
Carrot growls and starts stomping around the beach.
Tira: I guess I better go calm him down....
She runs off after Carrot. In the distance, you can hear Carrot growl in pain as Tira whips and laughs away. The Senshi detransform then look at the whimpering Tuxedo Mask still in the corner.
Usagi: I guess you guys are. like, right. I should, like, kick myself for letting him,like, come back everything he disappears or, like, makes me cry and stuff. (stomach growls. Everyone sweatdrops.)
Chocolate: How about we get some food?
Gateau: That's not a bad idea.
Minako: Hey, like, one of our, like, friends is, like, working in a stand right, like, now. Why don't we head that way.
Ami: Why not?
Usagi, Rei, Ami, Minako, Chocolate, and Gateau head to Akito's stand only to find it squished to the ground. Akito, Makoto, and the girls of the Nadesico stand around the ruins.
Akito (sighing as Makoto pats his back reassuringly): I can't believe it...
Rei: What happened?
Makoto: Some monster trampled the place a couple of seconds ago. I would have given chase if it wasn't for that scary lady whipping him along.
Chocolate: Darling....
Rei: Well, you can thank Usagi for that.
Usagi sweatdrops.
Minako: Yeah, like, Usagi did her Honeymoon Therapy Kiss on him.
Makoto: What?
Chocolate: Darling has a way of transforming whenever magic hits him.
Tira and Carrot walk up. Carrot is completely wrecked.
Gateau: Well, look who's back.
Chocolate: You feel ok, Darling?
Carrot: Fine, just fine....
Usagi: Well, so much for a peaceful day at the beach.
Everyone laughs and walk into the sunset together.
Author V.O.: Ok, roll the credits!!!
Executive V.O.: Wait a minute.
Shot of Author-chan and the executive talking.
Author: What? Why?
Executive: Some fool lost the closing animation and Otome no Porishii, ending theme, as well. So what are you going to do about it?
Author: No problem! Ladies, gentlemen, and fanboys everywhere. As we show you stills of all the ladies on the show today along with the credits, Misumaru Yurika, the Captain of the Nadesico, shall give us a rendition of Watashi Rashiku. Hit it!
Yurika (to the tune of Watashi Rashiku):
I know I am a ditz and
I know I am a flake,
But I didn't know a genre existed for me.
I didn't know there where shows like this
When the hero is a complete ditz.
It's a shame I already have show,
'Cause I know I'll fit in!
This is where I belong!....
Shot of the senshi, the Bakuretsu hunters, and the Nadesico crew sitting around chatting.
Author V.O.: Next time, what will happen? Will Carrot learn his lesson about messing with girls?
Chocolate: He better. (Tira nods in agreement as Carrot sweatdrops.)
Author V.O.: Will the Nadesico crew have more to done than a few cameo shots?
Yurika: You know, we didn't say much.
Megumi: Yeah. It was a just a camoe wasn't it?
Makoto: Hey Izumi, I just wanted to tell you that you play a mean ukulele.
Izumi (flattered): Nah...
Hiraku: Well, that's nothing. Her jokes are so bad!
Rei: And that's a compliment?
Yurika: And the guys weren't here.
Akito: I'm a guy.
Yurika: You don't count, sweetie. (Akito sweatdrops and lowers his head.)
Ryoko: Yeah, like they do much in our show anyway.
Minato: I know I didn't say anything yet in this fanfic, but somehow I ended up in the closing credits.
Carrot (snuggles close to Minato): That's so sad... Want a date?
Minato slaps him down.
Ruri: Fool.
Minato: At least Ruri-ruri gets to say her catch-phrase a couple of times.
Author V.O.: Will we even know what happened with Setsuna-san and Marron-kun?
Setsuna and Marron, who were in the very back of the group, blush and sweatdrops.
Setsuna (whispered, to Marron): We better not.
Marron (sighs, to Setsuna): We spent most of our time out of character in this story...
Usagi (tilts head): Sailor Pluto was here?
Gateau (upset): I didn't get to see Marron!!!
Ami: What do you mean, "What happened?"
Carrot: My brother and some girl? That's rich....
Author V.O.: And who will drop in next time? Stay tuned for further adventures of the Bishoujo Senshi Sai- (the hunters give sounds of discontent with that title)....uh.... of the Sorcerer Hunt- (the Nadesico people are unhappy)....uh of the Martian Sucessor Nades- (the senshi aren't too thrilled)...uh...(Author-chan jumps in front of the camera. The others try to look at the audience over and around her) Super Author-chan!!!!