The Green-Eyed Idiot



Relena went into a fit of giggles as she thought of a way to get to Heero Yuy. The boy had only recently showed up and singe-handedly flipped little Miss Dorlain's world with his narrow-minded way of thinking and hard blue eyes.

Somehow, she had to make him see her as more than a distraction and a breach of security. She felt something between them, a bond far removed from the war and his mission on Earth. Would she dare say that fate brought them together? That it was destiny? And that, yes, he was falling in love with her?

She prayed that this was true. She had already fallen for the Gundam pilot.

She watched as Heero and his new partner talked. She barely took notice of the boy next to Heero, but instead was enthralled once again by Heero's matter of speaking・of standing・of staring at something, expecting it to cower and prostate before him, the superior.

His partner did nothing of the sort, of course. Duo, if she remembered his name correctly, seemed to be teasing and pestering Heero for some sort of reaction other than the standard growl-and-scowl routine.

What she was planning would do more to Heero than cause him to growl and scowl・if she did it right. All she needed was a willing participant and, if she played her cards right, that willing, if unknowing, partner would be Duo himself・


She finally had the chance to talk to Duo alone later than day. Heero had left the basketball court and went to their dorm room to see if there was a mission waiting for his acceptance. As she patiently waited for Heero to leave, she thought out her speech, hoping that a few words will be enough to convince Duo to follow along.

"Hey girl," Duo greeted as Relena approached. She smiled at the greeting. "What can I do for ya?"

"Hello Duo," she greeted in return as she grabbed a basketball. "Lovely day, isn't it?" She passed the basketball to Duo.

He caught it easily. "Yeah, it is, ain't it・ He began to dribble it slowly.

"You and Heero make a great team," Relena complimented. "Are you as good in other sports as in basketball?"

"Well, I hate braggin', but・ He rubbed the back of his neck in contemplation as Relena sat in the bleachers closest to him. "I've been great at stick-ball and football, too・

" 'Stick-ball'? 'Football'?"

Duo gave her a light grin. "Baseball and soccer・ He dribbled some more before passing the ball back to Relena. "You ever played?"

Relena caught the ball, surprise written all over her face. "Actually, no, I haven't."

"Oh, it's easy!" Duo moved closer. "All ya have to do is dribble and shoot, basically. And if you're good, you'll actually score every once in a while!" He winked.

Relena smiled as she stood up from the bleachers. "But, tell me one thing, Duo. How do you suppose I play basketball in a skirt?" She clumsily dribbled the basketball for a second or two before passing it back to Duo.

Duo grinned. "You'll be fine. Just don't go making jump shots, okay?"

He began to laugh at the sight of Relena's blush.

Relena pouted. "That wasn't funny, Duo."

"Yeah it was," he laughed, causing Relena's blush to redden. "Aw, calm down, girl. Come on. You wanna play or what?"

Despite the flushed cheeks, she smiled. "Of course." She took the basketball out of Duo's hands and began to dribble once more, this time with a bit more skill. "But be gentle with me, okay Duo?"

Duo smirked. "Hey, it's only a game."


Heero stared at the flat screen, not surprised in the least. There was no mission waiting for his approval, and there were no repairs or upgrades in need of attention.

He came to the dorm room because he needed air. He needed time away from Maxwell before he lost his control and throttled the joking idiot.

Or kissed him.

Anything to shut him up.

He mentally frowned at that final thought. Why kiss him? There's no need for such dramatics. Such things happen in romance novels and soap operas, not real life. Real life called for a gag or a handgun to silence someone, not a kiss.

Yet, when he saw how Duo's cheeks flushed while playing, how his skin shone with perspiration, how his lips parted gently for some water・ What would he give to be a bead of sweat rolling down Duo's face, a drop of water on his lips・

Heero frowned at himself once more. He should not be thinking about his partner this way. He needed to stay in control.

And what's to say that Maxwell felt the same way about him?

How could Maxwell feel anything more than mere camaraderie? Heero has done nothing significant to show Maxwell some form of trust, of friendship.

In comparison, Duo has done several things for Heero, despite the very notion that they were strangers. He aimed, but never to kill. He rescued Heero after his capture. He had even gone so far as to offer his help and anything else he had on hand to help fix Wing.

And even after Heero left without a single word of thanks (and a few pieces of Deathscythe's in tow), when he saw Duo again, Duo still greeted him with smiles.

He commanded the computer to go to stand by and watched with cold indifference as the screen turned itself off.

He wasn't ready to see Duo again, but he had told the American that he would return to the basketball court.

Leaving the laptop on the desk, Heero left the dorm room to retrieve that 'Shinigami' idiot.


Duo frowned in mock anger as Relena made her 6th straight 3-pointer.

"You little scam artist," he cried out after failing to block.

"Maybe it's beginner's luck?" Relena reassured as Duo retrieved the ball.

"Beginner's luck, my ass. I'm just lucky there's no money runnin' on this game." Feigning exhaustion, he collapsed in the bleachers, resting the ball between his feet. "You run a good hustle, though, I must admit. No one will 'xpect a little blonde chick to cream them on the court."

Relena settled herself beside him. She smirked lightly. "Is that true?"

"Hell yeah. Pretty little rich girl like you can scam the ballers big time." He titled his head towards her. "Just gotta be good enough to slam the big boys and girls."

"I'm not that good, Duo."

"Never said you were." He leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head. "But you could be." He closed his eyes.

Relena leaned forwards and looked out towards the water. The sky was golden, marking the early evening. Something told her that it was now or never. She may not get another chance to ask.

Heero exited the dormitory and made his way to the basketball court. He had spent enough time away from Duo. He would be able to control himself around his partner now. He absentminded caught the colors of the sky and the faint scent of dusk as he walked in the deepening shadows.

"Duo?" she whispered, never changing her position.

"M?" he murmured, not opening his eyes.

"Would you like to go out with me tonight?"

"Like, on a date?"

" ・eah・

A silence transpired as the sky darkened. In the shadows, a figure waited for Duo's response.

"・ure・

Relena straightened up in surprise as her head jerked back towards Duo. "Really?"

"Why not?" he said, sitting up as well. "What else am I gonna do tonight? Go TP houses with Heero? Please・ Hey, how 'bout meeting at the pizza place near here in a couple of hours? We could hang out, eat pizza, maybe catch a movie・ He paused. "Relena, that's a great idea! I wish I thought of it!"

Relena grinned and bounced off of the bleachers. "I'll go get ready. See you at 8:30?"

Duo returned the grin. "You know it!" He stood up as well as Relena half-ran, half-skipped to the girls' dormitory.

Duo, amused by the day's turn of events, watched her leave before turning in the opposite direction. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and began heading towards the boys' dorm. He paused, however, by a particular pool of shadow.

"You can come out, Heero," he said softly, not bothering to look at his partner as Wing's pilot stepped into the light.

"Why did you say yes, Duo?" Heero's trademark glare was in his eyes as he stared at his partner.

"Why not? Relena's cool and she was nice enough to invite me out." Duo lifted his eyes towards the black-blue sky.

"She's dangerous."

"Only to you. She's just a girl, Heero. She hasn't told anyone on you yet. She's not going to soon. Why ya getting so edgy about it?"

"You should stay away from her." Heero's voice lurked dangerously close to ominous tones.

"Should? What for? What, are you jealous or something?" Duo turned and stood face to face with his partner, unable to read on Heero's face what exactly he was hinting to.

Heero gave no hint.

Exasperated, Duo sighed and turned away. "Whatever man. Go ahead and tail us if ya want. I don't care. I'm going." With that, he headed back to the dorm for a quick shower and a change. No moody pilot was going to ruin his fun.

While his mind tried to make some logic fit into Duo's words and his own actions, Heero's feet quickly fell in step behind Duo's as they made their way back to the dorms, together.


Duo braided his wet hair as he stared out the dorm room's sole window. Heero was pissing the hell out of him・not a new feeling, for sure, but he's not one to care, was he?

It was just a date. A date with Relena Dorlain. A date with the girl Heero wanted to kill.

Fuck him. Duo was going on this date, without or without his consent.

Like he had any say in the matter. They may be partners, but it's not like they're *together*. They're not a couple. Heero doesn't even like Duo.

Heero can just kiss his ass.

Relena was waiting.

Duo stepped out of his dorm room and looked around before locking the door. He *knew* that Heero was lurking somewhere, watching either Relena or himself at that moment. The invitation was made by Duo himself. He didn't care.

Not like they were a 'couple'.


Relena smiled when she caught sight of Duo crossing the street towards the pizza parlor. He really was a cute guy, and really nice, too. No wonder a very generous amount of girls at school already had crushes on the freshman/terrorist.

She ran a hand through her hair self-consciously. She decided to wear a modest top and a pair of jeans. Nothing fancy for a first date with Duo Maxwell.

"Who's idea of picking up a girl in a skirt is showing her how to make jump shots," she finished softly to herself as she waved to Duo.

He waved right back and walked up to her side. "Ya waited long?" he asked cheerfully in greeting.

"Not long," she said as she clasped her hands in front of her. "Want to go inside?"

"Sure," he answered, placing one hand on her shoulder while other reached for the door. "That's what we're here for, right?"

She giggled softly as she entered the greasy spoon, with Duo closely behind her.


She wiped a bit of cheese from her lip as 'Joy and Pain' played from the nearby jukebox. "So, Duo?" she opened as she placed the napkin on the table. Duo raised his eyes from his own slice as he attempted to stuff a bite into his mouth.

She took a sip of her soda to clear her throat. "Where did you grow up? You're from the colonies too, right?"

Duo blanked for a moment as he quickly grabbed for his own soda to down the bite of pizza. "Well, Relena," he answered in a smooth, mysterious voice, "if I answer your question, I may have to kill you."

"Oh dear," Relena gasped in mock fear. "First Heero and now you too? All you dangerous terrorist types are the same."

Duo raised his eyebrows in mock shock. "Surely you did not compare me with Heero Yuy, did you?"

"What *do* you think of Heero, Duo?"

Duo sipped his soda for a moment. Heero・ His first thought was of how Heero had to be around here, monitoring their conversation very much like an obsessive asshole ready to cover his ass by offing both of them if need be.

His second thought was of how sexy Heero looked pissed off and obsessive・for all the right reasons, that is.

Not that it mattered.

"Heero?" he was able to say after a minute. "He's an okay guy, I guess. Bit too psychotic for my own tastes, but who am I to say anythin'・

Relena nodded her head in understanding. "I know that much."

"Hell, I think OZ knows that much," Duo countered with a smirk. The old rap song changed to the younger, but just as dated, 'Informer'. "Any guy that jumps off buildings like that has to be crazy."

"You jumped too, you know."

"Well, at least I had a way down. Suicide Boy almost didn't open that parachute in time."

"Suicide Boy?" She titled her head slightly. "It fits."

"You're telling me." He took another bite of the pizza and washed it down with more soda. "And you?"

She took a bite out of her own slice. "M?"

"What do you think of him?" he asked, knowing full well what her answer would be.

"Well," she hesitated. "He seems pretty nice・

Duo nodded.

"・For a psychopath."

Duo shrugged. "Well, one man's psychopath is another man's love interest."

Relena blushed as she lowered her gaze to the half-finished pie in between them.

Duo watched her for a moment before he cleared his throat. "Hey, Relena."

Relena lifted her eyes and looked at Duo. "Yeah?"

"How 'bout we check out what's playing tonight? If we're lucky, it'll be 'Rocky Horror'." He stood up and pulled out a couple of bills. He showered the messy table with the ones before taking Relena's hand. "Ya ready?"

"Yes," she answered back, trying her best to give him her best smile.

In a booth some distance away, a figure enveloped in shadow watched the pair go through the motions of a first date. The scowl on his face was more searing than a hot iron skillet.


They walked through the well-lit streets towards the theater in silence. All the while Relena tried to figure out a way to keep the date from becoming a disaster. She needed Heero to hear about what a great time she was having with Duo and how much Duo liked her.

He won't hear anything if she distanced herself or showed any disinterest.

"Say, Duo?"

"Hm?" he said, turning his head slightly to look at her.

"I'm sorry about earlier. Talking about Heero like that was rude."

"Whatcha talkin' about? He's the only thing we have in common, so it's okay to talk about him at first." He grabbed her hand and led her towards the theater across the street. "Now, let's find other things in common."


It was late in the evening when the two returned to the campus, or early in the morning, as it were. They should have returned hours ago, but after finding out the local theater did show 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' that night at midnight, they *had* to hang out and watch the incredibly ludicrous movie. That event led to bad jokes about the other attendees that took the movie experience a bit too seriously as they walked around the port city. The jokes soon made way for more interesting conversation. All in all, it was around four in the morning when they finally returned to the campus.

Duo rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I'm sorry I didn't get you home earlier."

Relena smiled, hardly feeling the fatigue that should be there. "Don't worry. It's not like I haven't been out at odd hours before, remember?"

"How could I forget. The name 'Relena Dorlain' should not be associated with TPing mansions."

"You aren't the first to do it, Duo." Relena imitated Duo's smirk, an expression that would have been perfect if a yawn did not crash right through it, distorting Relna's expression into one of exhaustion.

It was now Duo's turn to smirk. "Miss Relena, I think it's time for bed."

"Duo, what about you? Won't Heero be upset with you for being out till four in the morning?"

"Well, unlike you, I'm not afraid of big bad Heero." He leaned in and gave Relena a quick peck on her cheek before turning towards the boys' dorms.

"Duo?" Relena called out to him, causing his turn around again.

"Yeah, Relena?" He stopped in front of her, waiting.

Relena wanted this date to end perfectly, and nothing could relay to Duo, and Heero, that she had a great time other than・

She leaned forward and placed her lips against Duo's. For a moment he was unsure・they were both unsure・of what to do next, but quickly enough Duo took the upperhand and deepened the kiss slightly before breaking the contact.

Relena's face and ears were a bright red as she directed her gaze to her sneakers. The kiss was rather nice・almost wrong for her to do.

"Goodnight, Relena," Duo whispered, his voice slightly modified after the goodnight kiss.

In a daze, Relena nodded the affirmative then drunkenly walked inside the girls' dormitory.

Duo smiled warmly at her retreating figure before heading towards the boys' dorms.


His smile melted away when he saw that his room's door was unlocked and open slightly. He was damn certain that he locked it before heading out. He was lucky enough to avoid any authority figures and he saw little of Heero at the theater or on the streets.

Now this・

He instinctively reached for the sidearm tucked inside his shirt and held it at ready in front of the door. Part of him warned that it could be some smart-ass student・part of him screamed that it was OZ or some other belligerent force・the rest tiredly mumbled to itself that it was probably just Heero・

He slowly pushed the door open with his free hand and gradually revealed Heero, with his own handgun at ready, on the other side of the door.

"Heero, what the fuck are you doin' in my room?" Duo harshly whispered, never lowering his gun from Heero's face.

"Lower your gun, Duo," commanded Heero in a cold flat tone.

The gun did not move. "Why? So you can kill me for kissing Relena?"

Heero's gun stayed in place as well. "Relena kissed you, Duo, not the other way around."

"So you *were* watching! Can't mind your own business, huh?"

"You are my business, Duo."

"Why, because we're partners? Well, guess what, buddy. My love life is none of your fucking business. Stay out of it, and if you're so jealous that Relena kissed me, then do something about it!"

Heero lowered his sidearm and broke eye contact.

Duo lowered his gun as well and tucked it back into his shirt. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm getting some sleep." With that, he practically shoved Heero out of his room and dutifully locked the door behind him.


The next night Duo and Heero split ways. An elaborate plan by OZ to trap and separate the Gundams did what it set out to do. Heero's 'death' almost tore Duo apart with unexplainable grief.

And, somewhere in his subconscious, Heero did decide to do something about Duo・and the kiss he and Relena shared・among other things・just before his 'resurrection' in Trowa's trailer.

Only time and hindsight could tell if his choices were the right ones.

~~~~~End


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