Little Red-Hooded Subaru

Tokyo Babylon fanfiction. Standard disclaimers apply.

by Watari Yutaka (watariyutaka@edsamail.com.ph)

Once upon a time, as all fairy tales are wont to start, there lived a pair of twins - a girl and a boy named Hokuto and Subaru. Now, it must be said that these two are quite attractive, which presents a problem for Subaru because he was often mistaken for a girl, while Hokuto took advantage of this and turned her little brother into a living mannequin, draping him in one outrageous outfit after another. These two used to live with their grandmother in Kyoto, but eventually moved to Tokyo where people skilled in onmyoujitsu were needed more. Our story takes place on the day when Subaru is scheduled to visit their grandmother....

"Subaru!" Hokuto shouted from the kitchen as she slipped dish after dish into an already bulging basket. "Hurry up, or you'll miss the train!"

"Coming!" Subaru shouted. He'd barely finished buttoning his shirt when his sister, dressed this day in a body-hugging, mid-rift Cheshire cat outfit pranced into his room with the basket swinging in her hand and a red cloth covering its lid.

"Just one last finishing touch to your outfit," Hokuto said as she unfurled the red 'cloth' and revealed it to be a red hooded cloak. "This will be perfect." She fastens it on Subaru and marvels at her work.

"Hokuto-chan," Subaru said warily as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was dressed in a white, peasant-style shirt, tight red pants, a pair of white shoes and the cloak. "No offense, but I look like Akazukin Cha-Cha."

"No, no, no, no, no," Hokuto said reassuringly. "You look great! Trust me! Now go!" She hooked the basket over his arm and pushed him out the door. "Don't forget to bring me a souvenir!" She called out just before he disappeared into the elevator.

Needless to say, Subaru boarded the train and his journey went on uneventfully enough, other than the fact that everyone else was staring at his outlandish get-up. As he disembarked at the Kyoto station, we see on the opposite platform, a familiar figure boarding the train heading to Tokyo.

<It's good to be back,> Subaru thought as he settled into the seat of the taxi that would take him to his old home. <It's so nice and more subdued here, so unlike Tokyo.> Upon arriving, he paid the cab driver and waited until the cab was out of sight before he ventured forth and rang the doorbell. He held his breath as the door opened and he was greeted by his...

Grandmother?

Subaru never thought he'd see the day when he'd have to look up just to look his grandmother face to face, but it happened. Something was not quite right, but he just couldn't seem to put his finger on it.

"Welcome home, Subaru," she said in a rather raspy voice. "I've been expecting you."

Yup, something was definitely amiss.

"Grandmother, you sure have gotten a lot taller since the last time I've been here," Subaru said as he walked beside her.

"Uh... the better to see you, my dear grandson," she replied, obviously starting to feel wary that Subaru was beginning to notice, not to mention the fact that the wig itched like crazy.

"I see," Subaru said thoughtfully as they entered her chambers. "Grandmother, you also seemed to have become more muscular. Have you been working out?"

"Yes, dear grandson," she said in response. <Just a little farther, just a little more,> she thought as they neared the bed.

"And one more thing, grandmother," Subaru was starting to get a little suspicious. "Your voice sounds a little husky. Are you catching a cold?"

"Oh, the hell with it!"

She ripped the torturous wig off her head, revealing 'herself' to be none other than Seishirou and jumped Subaru before the younger man could react.

Enter 003 stage left, dragging with him a black screen that eventually covered the two struggling figures on the floor of Subaru's grandmother's room and exits stage right, leaving the screen in place. Watari then follows the wake of 003 and pauses at the center as grunts, moans, sighs, screams and the occasional "yes," "no," "more," "Subaru-kun," "Seishirou-san" and a host of other words could be heard from behind the screen.

"I regret to inform you that this part of the story is being censored due to the fact that there are a lot of minors that are currently reading this fic," Watari said in the most genki voice he could muster under the circumstances. Something closely resembling a tattered version of Subaru's shirt floated on his head. He immediately snatched at it and hid it behind his back. "I will now take you to a more 'wholesome' part of the story." He gulped as he saw the readers preparing to pelt him with rotten tomatoes and made a run for the same direction of 003's exit.

Meanwhile....

Bing-bong.

"Coming!" Hokuto sang out as she sashayed out of the kitchen and opened the door. Shock registered on her face as she beheld their honorable grandmother standing outside Subaru's apartment with a small overnight bag sitting by her feet.

"Well, child, aren't you going to invite me in?" She said in her sweet, gentle voice.

The younger Sumeragi overcame her shock as she ushered her in, nearly buckling over as she tried to lift the overnight bag from the floor. Somehow, Hokuto managed to drag the 'luggage' into the apartment, though just how she was going to explain to Subaru the scuff marks on the floor she did not want to think about. As soon as she managed to get Grandmother Sumeragi settled in, she hit the kitchen like a tornado, just so that it cannot be said that she was not prepared to welcome unexpected guests.

"So, grandmother," Hokuto said as they sipped tea and ate choco-berry crepes, "what brings you to Tokyo all of a sudden?"

"What's so sudden?" The older woman replied in surprise. "I sent you and Subaru a letter almost two weeks ago saying that I will be coming to visit for a change."

"But Subaru left for Kyoto this morning to visit you!" Hokuto wailed. All her effort to turn her brother into Little Red Riding Hood who goes off to visit their grandmother had been put to waste!

"Really?" Lady Sumeragi said as she set down her teacup. "Well, he should be there by now, so we could just give him a call and ask him to return." She gets up and takes the cordless telephone and dials the number of the Sumeragi home. After a while she puts it down and gives Hokuto a perplexed look. "That's strange. No one's answering. That's not like Subaru at all. Maybe he could not hear the phone." ["And we all know why he can't hear it, now don't we?" Watari manages to duck away from an otherwise on-target tomato.]

"I have an idea!" Hokuto chirped as she rushed towards the door. "I'll go to Kyoto to pick him up! Grandmother, you can stay here and rest. You must be awfully tired from your journey."

Lady Sumeragi gave the idea a thought. "Yes, do be a dear and fetch him. Honestly, I don't want any more of those porters manhandling my luggage." Hokuto nearly dropped to the floor as she watched her grandmother pick up the overnight bag and bring it into Subaru's guestroom. "Honestly, I'd imagine they'd take better care of their patrons' belongings."

"Uh, I'll go pack." With that, Hokuto rushed out the door wondering all the while what had happened to her brother.

Fast forward: See Hokuto board the train, see her board a taxi, see her get off at the Sumeragi home, wearing a full, black leather outfit with a studded leather choker around her neck and a whip tucked into her belt.... Moving on.

"Subaru!" Hokuto called out as she entered the house and took off her stiletto-heeled boots. "Subaru! Where are you?" [Where've I heard that before?] She begins searching all of the rooms, leaving no furniture unturned, no cabinet unopened, no tatami mat undisturbed. But there was no sign of Subaru. She was more than a little miffed by the time she got to the only place she had yet to search: Lady Sumeragi's bedroom. In a fit of annoyance, she kicks the door open, nearly tearing the delicate wood from their hinges....

To find a disshelved and apparently naked Subaru rising up in surprise from under a mountain of ruffled sheets.

"SU-BA-RU!" Hokuto said emphatically with each step she took. "Just what do you think you're doing? Grandmother and I've been worried sick about you! Did you know that she's in Tokyo right now waiting for us and...."

The rest of her litany was cut off as an equally disshelved and naked Seishirou also emerged from the same mountain of sheets.

"Oh, I get it!" Hokuto said in understanding as she regained her good humor. Subaru turned three different shades of red as Seishirou gave her a knowing smile. "WAY TO GO SEI-CHAN!!" Hokuto screamed as she dived onto the bed between them. "So how did it go? Was he that good in bed? I'd be extremely ashamed if my only brother could not be a worthy match in and out of the bedroom for Sei-chan! I don't want you keeping any details from me, now...."

"Watari, have mercy!" Subaru begged.

********** OWARI **********

Watari and 003 make a run for it as the readers pelted more tomatoes their way, but somehow, they didn't manage to get hit. Watari then screeches to a halt just beyond pelting range as he sees a familiar blonde Angel from the X continuum and makes a beeline in his direction.

"Yuuto-kun! I've finally managed to perfect my sex-changing potion! Care for a sip?"

"Oh, no."

Yuuto makes a run for it as Watari and 003 chase him.