Gundam Wing fanfiction. Feels Like Home was written by Randy Newman, sung by Chantal Kreviazuk and copyrighted to Sony Music Entertainment (Canada) Inc. My standard disclaimers apply.

Feels Like Home

by Lady Aria (bukiminatenshi@mailcity.com)

* There’s something in your eyes

* Makes me want to lose myself

Christmas Eve AC 197.

A party was being held at the Preventer Headquarters and everyone was invited. Lady Une said that it was about time that they all enjoyed a Christmas that wouldn’t be marred by the sudden threat of war.

Minister Relena Darlian entered the hall and was greeted by Noin. She’d spent most of her time in the colonies and it was the first time she’d come back to Earth that year. The older woman teased her about the conservative dress she was wearing.

"I would have thought that you’d be wearing something a bit more eye-catching," Noin said lightly as she looked at the simple mint-green dress she wore. It even had sleeves and reached past her knees. "How do you expect to catch Heero’s attention this way?"

"Lucrezia," Relena said wearily. "I’m not so dense that I couldn’t take a hint. Heero doesn’t want or need me in his life and that’s it. I don’t want to press the issue anymore."

* Makes me want to lose myself

* In your arms

Duo looked over his shoulder at the newcomer and elbowed Heero in the ribs. "Hee~eey, looks like your number one fan’s here! I wonder how long it’s gonna take to get her off your back this time."

Heero ignored Duo’s remark and looked Relena’s way. She didn’t even spare a glance in his direction. He shook his head and returned his attention to the four boys with him.

This was one of the few times when they were all wearing casual clothes instead of those which they wore for either work or school. It was funny the way his life changed after the war. Dr. J had taken him in for a debriefing of the mission. Back then, he didn’t know what he’d do with his life, the war over. The old man surprised him when he presented him with a bank account number with a sizable sum. He said that he’d prepared it in the event that Heero’d actually see the end of the war so that the boy would be able to stand on his own.

"Hmm," Quatre said as he sipped his drink. "It seems as though Relena’s ignoring us. I wonder why?"

Heero knew all too well the reason why.

* There’s something in your voice

* Makes my heart beat fast

New Years Day AC 197.

Heero woke up to find himself lying in a hospital bed, his wounds cleaned and bandaged. He felt something pinning the blanket to the bed. Relena. Her head rested on her arms on the bed as she sat on the seat that had been placed beside the bed. She must have fallen asleep while waiting for him to regain consciousness.

He wondered why this girl, the Queen of the World, cared for him. He never considered himself of that much importance.

Watching Relena sleep, he was surprised to hear her speak.

"Matte...," she mumbled, "matte... Heero...."

His eyes widened a bit at the sound of his name being called. Slowly, he shifted the sheet and got off the bed, careful not to wake Relena. He got dressed, took his possessions and left the room. He didn’t want to be there when she wakes up.

* Hope this feeling lasts

* The rest of my life

Christmas Eve AC 197.

"Oi, Heero!"

Heero jerked out of his thoughts and looked at a concerned Quatre.

"Daijobu desu ka?"

"Ah, daijobu," he said waving a hand in dismissal. "Just remembered something."

"Heero, it’s not like you to space out," Trowa said as he regarded the former pilot. "Are you sure you’re okay?"

He nodded to Trowa and they returned to their conversation.

* If you knew how lonely

* My life has been

Relena laughed at Sally’s story. It felt good to be able to laugh again. It’s just been too long since they’ve all been together. Even Dorothy seemed to have lost her innate love for war and was enjoying the peace that had come at such a high price.

Dorothy pitched a little as she clutched her bulging stomach. She smiled at Lady Une who helped her right herself. They’d all been surprised to find out that in the year they’ve been apart, she’d gotten married and was expecting her baby some time in March next year.

"This baby sure kicks up a storm," she said as she laid her hands on her belly.

"Probably takes after the mother," Relena replied jokingly.

"Oh!" Dorothy squeaked, grabbing Relena’s hand and placing it on her belly.

Her eyes grew wide as she felt the baby in her friend’s stomach turning. It was almost magic when she felt the child shift. It made her feel warm inside but at the same time a bit hollow. She was happy that Dorothy had settled down and was starting a family and wondered if she would meet someone she would love as suddenly as her friend did.

* And how numb I’ve been

* So hollow

"So what have you been doing?" Lady Une asked Relena. "Have things at the colonies been so hectic that you couldn’t even spare any of us a call?"

Relena laughed a bit. "Well, things have been pretty crazy since most of the colonies are still rebuilding, especially on L-3." She stopped when she felt someone tugging at her hand. She looked at the person and was surprised to see Mariemaia smiling up at her.

"O genki desu ka, Relena-sama?" The girl asked, a sweet smile on her face.

"Genki desu," Relena replied, ruffling her hair a bit. "So how’ve you been?"

Mariemaia looked up at Lady Une and replied, "I’m living with Lady Une now. She said that it was the least she could do for my father. I didn’t want to go back to L-3, so I stayed with her, besides," she said with a wink, "the Barton foundation could do without me."

Relena looked at the smiling people before her. They have all managed to move on and were better for it. She couldn’t help but feel a little sad for herself since she’d immersed herself in her work to keep her mind off the past, only to find that it would all catch up to her here.

* And if you knew how I wanted

* Someone to come along

Music wafted through the hall and the five boys watched as couples paired off to dance.

Duo slapped a hand to his forehead. "Geez, couldn’t they have started with something a little more upbeat?" he moaned, "the season’s already mushy enough to begin with."

"I don’t know," Quatre said as he sighed, "I think the music’s perfect. Don’t you Trowa?" Quatre turned his head from side to side and smiled when he saw Trowa dancing with his sister, Catherine. "Aw, isn’t that sweet?"

"Excuse me," Wufei said as he made his way to the group of girls with Relena. "I just spotted my prospective dance partner."

Duo watched as Quatre joined Wufei and shook his head again. "Well, if you’re all going to be that way..., hey, hey, hey!"

Duo’s attention was disrupted when one of the younger members of the Preventer’s staff walked by. She winked at him and he watched her with wide eyes as she walked away seductively, her hips swaying in time to the music.

"Uh, Heero, I’ll, uh, catch you later!" Duo babbled as he went after the girl.

Heero just shook his head. Duo will always be Duo.

* And change my life

* The way you’ve done

Relena sat at a nearby table as she watched her friends dance to the music. She saw Sally murmuring something to Wufei’s ear while Quatre whirled Noin expertly on the dance floor. She let her gaze wander idly around the room. She locked gazes with Heero who’d also been scanning the crowd and reverted her gaze as quickly as she could. She hoped that he hadn’t noticed.

Sighing, Relena got up. She didn’t know why she came to the party in the first place, knowing that the possibility of being hurt again was there. she thought. She froze when she heard someone behind her.

"May I have this dance?"

Relena’s mind nearly locked as she slowly turned to look at the speaker. Behind her stood Heero Yuy, his hand extended to her, a small smile on his face. There was not a single trace of the soldier in him now. She gulped as she reached out hesitantly for the offered hand, hoping that it wasn’t a dream or a hallucination.

Heero marveled at the warmth of Relena’s hand in his as he guided her to the dance floor. He held her loosely as they moved to the music, just letting the lilting melody guide their bodies.

* A window breaks

* Down a long dark street

AC 195.

Relena cocked the gun Lady Une’s way. This was the woman who’d killed her father and she’d had the gall to show up and talk to her as though nothing happened. Relena desperately wanted to shoot her, bolstered by Dr. J’s confession about Heero, but she couldn’t. She knew that she’d be staining the memory of her father if she did. Instead, she ran.

"Go after her!" Lady Une screamed, but became frustrated when the party goers blocked the path of Relena’s escape.

* And the siren wails

* In the night

Relena was trapped and she knew it. There was no way she’d be able to out-run the OZ soldiers who were after her. Her flight came to a halt when she was cornered by several soldiers. She waited for the sound of cuffs being secured on her wrists -- or even the sound of the gunshot that would end her life -- when she heard a voice telling the men to stand down.

Lucrezia Noin stood before the soldiers pointing a gun at them.

The woman ordered the soldiers away and they reluctantly obeyed. Relena accused her of being an OZ pawn when she fired upon the pin attached to a soldier’s cap that had fallen to the ground.

Noin was on her side.

* But I’m alright

* ‘Cause I have you here with me

Relena was surprised to see Heero aboard the Libra. He’d come to rescue her as well as to put an end to the madness that this war had taken them all in. They’d confronted her brother and found out that he wanted to blow up the Earth -- the same Earth where they had been born and had destroyed their family and their lives. Milliard had reasoned that it would be the better way since they were the ones who were so obsessed with war in the first place.

She and Heero put on spacesuits as they prepared to go to the hangars. He was determined to go out and fight. No amount of pleading on her part could convince him to stay with her.

* And I can almost see

* Through the dark there is light

New Year’s Eve AC 196.

Relena stirred and looked at the rubble that had fallen around her.

Heero had fired the final shot that had destroyed the base of the Barton foundation as well as the Wing Custom. She had watched helplessly as the once-magnificent Gundam crashed into the nearby hills, taking its pilot with it.

Dekim Barton wanted Mariemaia to become the new ruler of the world until Relena snapped her out of it. She opened the little girl’s eyes to all the horror that she’d done and all the lives that she’d foolishly sacrificed to win a war that had no cause worth fighting for. She’d been shocked when Mariemaia had taken the bullet meant for her and she wanted to cry out in anger as the life of the child started slipping away.

"Let me ease your pain."

Relena jerked her head to look straight into Heero’s eyes. She had thought that he would kill Mariemaia. She heard the click of an empty gun instead and rushed to catch Heero as he collapsed.

It was finally, truly over.

* Well, if you knew how much

* This moment means to me

Christmas Eve AC 197.

Relena closed her eyes at the memory, still not willing to let her gaze meet Heero’s. She’d been so hurt when she woke up at the hospital only to find out that he was gone. She’d searched for him for a while until one day, she came to the realization that she was just wasting her time. There were colonies of people who needed her and she was using precious time to look for an elusive boy who didn’t even love her when she could have started doing her job instead.

She sighed as they continued to dance. She had tried her best to forget Heero, but he still haunted her at times. When Heero had asked her to dance, she thought that she was imagining things. She had never expected him to even spare her that much.

Relena thought,

* And how long I’ve waited

* For your touch

As if in response to her thoughts, she felt him tighten his arms around her and he held her closer. Relena closed her eyes as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. A stray tear slid down her cheek.

she said to herself.