Omedetou...NOT! - A "Fruits Basket" Fanfic

Fruits Basket fanfiction. Standard disclaimers apply. There’s a glossary at the end of the story. ^_^

Omedetou... NOT!

by Khursten (khursten@funk-a-delic.net) and Lady Aria (writersblock@edsamail.com.ph)

“Ahh... I just it love it here! Ne, Ha-san, do you think we’ll be able to convince Akito to make Okinawa our NEW ancestral home?”

The cool sea breeze entered the window, making Shigure sigh with contentment, as though it was meant to further emphasize his point. The Souma family had rented a private beach residence for an entire week – one of the few times Akito had actually granted something the ten currently-present Jyuunishi wanted – an actual summer holiday vacation. They had taken Tohru along partly because Shigure was wary of leaving her alone in his house, partly due to Momiji’s insistence, and maybe partly also due to the fact that it would cause Akito less of a headache by bringing her along.

Shigure was sharing a room with Hatori and Ayame on the second floor while the two rooms on the ground floor were divided into the boy’s (Yuki, Kyou, Hatsuharu, and Ritsu) and the girl’s (Kagura, Tohru, and Kisa) rooms. Momiji was, in theory, supposed to bunk with the other boys, but after he began turning on the waterworks, it was decided that he’d bunk with Tohru... even if it meant that he’d be sleeping as a rabbit. Akito, of course, was occupying the master’s bedroom on the second floor, which was down the hall from the room currently being occupied by the three older Jyuunishi.

Hearing no immediate reaction, Shigure turned over in his bed and came face to face with the blank expression on Hatori’s face. Sitting up, he said, “Ne, Hatori, daijoubu?”

Still no reaction.

Shigure began waving his hand if front of Hatori’s face as Ayame turned to look at them, pausing right after the 68th stroke of his hairbrush. Seeing that Hatori wasn’t waking from whatever trance he’s in, Shigure began snapping his fingers in front of his face while saying “Ne, Hatori?” over and over again. By this time, Ayame had forgotten about the 100-brush-stroke rule and was watching Shigure trying to ‘revive’ Hatori. Fortunately, Hatori began showing signs of life before Shigure managed to dump the bowl of ice-cold water he’d fetched from the kitchen over the former’s head.

“About time,” Shigure said as he sat on the floor in front of Hatori. “I was getting tired talking to myself.” His cheerful manner immediately changed into one of concern. “Ne, Hatori, hontou ni daijoubu?”

“Shigure...,” Hatori began. “Do you remember what had happened earlier?”

Shigure began snickering at that comment despite the apparent gravity of the situation.

“Who could forget?” Shigure answered....

***

“Tohru-chan!”

Shigure watched as Momiji turned into a bunny when he pounced into Tohru’s arms – much to the ire of Kyou and Yuki. He was determined to squeeze as much off time as he could, and his definition of “off time” is as much time watching pretty girls in tiny bikinis using high-powered binoculars.

“Kawaii, kawaii, KAWAII!” Shigure began singing as he trained his new toy in the direction of the more crowded public beach. Just as he was trying to focus on a particularly... well-endowed girl bending over to pick up a frisbee, something blocked his line of vision....

And that something was a familiar shade of orange and black stripes.

“Ne, Kisa-chan, get out of the....” The rest of Shigure’s statement was lost when he looked up and saw that it was Hatori....

Wearing tiger-print trunks.

“Shigure, since you seem to be intent on playing life-guard, I just want you to know that I’m going to go snorkeling.”

“Ha-san... where.. did... you...?” Giving up, the inu Jyuunishi dissolved into fits of laughter at the ‘picture’ that was Hatori. As if the tiger-print trunks weren’t bad enough, he had with him a matching set of hot-pink goggles, snorkel, and fins.

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Hatori decided to let Shigure form his own conclusions – however demented they would be – and marched off towards the ocean – determined to find peace and quiet even for a while.

An hour later, Shigure’s attention was now directed towards a group of girls kayaking in the open water. As he adjusted the focus on his binoculars, he saw an odd pattern on the water’s surface.

An odd pattern that looked rather familiar.

Moments after he got the strange item in focus, he threw down the binoculars and sprinted towards the ocean. He’d recognize those trunks anywhere, though HOW Hatori managed to transform while snorkeling was beyond him. The only thing he could think of at the moment was to try to get to those trunks before Hatori surfaced.... If only to save him the embarrassment of leaving the water in the buff.

Shigure thought as he laid back and just floated. A thought occurred to him and he dived down to look for the gear that Hatori had brought with him. Sunlight penetrated the water well enough and he spotted the goggles a couple of meters in the direction of the shore. After he fished them out of the branching coral, he swam to the surface to get a breath of air and put them on, in the hopes of finding the rest of the gear... and maybe finding Hatori too, but he seriously doubted it because looking for a seahorse in open waters would be like looking for a pebble in a granary.

<Ah, found it!> Shigure thought a few minutes later as he fished the snorkel – the last piece of the gear – out of a kelp bed. Holding it between his teeth, he swam as fast as he could towards the surface....

To the light, to life-giving air....

And in time to see a kelp-covered Hatori break the surface.

***

“Yup, I don’t think I’d be forgetting that anytime soon,” Shigure said as he rolled over laughing on the floor.

“When did all THIS happen?!” Ayame exclaimed in disbelief, annoyed at having missed all the fun.

“I think it’s between the time when you were asking Yuki to help you make a sand sculpture of all the Jyuunishi and the time when Hatsuharu and Kyou destroyed it as they were having another one of their ‘bouts’.” Shigure had regained a bit of his composure and was now lying down on the floor. “Nonetheless,” he said to Hatori, “what the heck happened to you down there anyway?”

“Well, it all started when....”

***

<This place is beautiful,> Hatori thought as he looked down at the corals that peaked from out of the dense kelp beds that grew in patches near the reefs. Multi-colored fish swam next to him, some of which were noticeably eyeing his rather unusual swimwear. A group of seahorses had started following him as soon as he’d reached the kelp beds, but he didn’t mind. After all, it was something that came with being a Jyuunishi.

He spotted a strange glint coming from beneath a particularly dense region of kelp and decided to investigate. Whatever it was it was reflecting the sunlight in such a manner that immediately made him think of either metal or glass. As he was just over his target, he was surprised to find that the glint had come from a diver’s mask. He was pretty sure that the diver was also surprised to bump into him.

Unfortunately for him, though, the diver turned out to be female.

*Poom*

Hatori, now in seahorse form, swam as fast as he could away from the bewildered diver into the safety of the kelp bed, hoping that she hadn’t forgotten to breathe from the shock. He anchored himself to a kelp shoot to keep himself from being swept away by the tide and began thinking of a way out of his predicament.

All of a sudden, he felt his fragile jaw snap up painfully, almost dislodging his precarious hold on the kelp.

He’d just been given an underwater uppercut by an annoyed seahorse.

Giving the offender a seahorse version of a glare, he wound himself up like a spring and released the kelp he was holding to and rammed the seahorse like a brown torpedo. After the two of them exchanged a few more un-pleasantries, as well as a bout of pouch puffing – which Hatori took too mean a show of anger – a light-colored seahorse came between them and hooked Hatori’s tail with its own and proceeded to drag him back in the direction of the kelp bed. The both of them grasped kelp shoot after kelp shoot in an effort to get farther away from the other seahorse. Just as Hatori was finally calming down, he felt a slight nudge from the seahorse he was with. When he looked at the light-colored seahorse, they were linked belly-to-belly while it was giving him an odd look....

***

“Ha-san, why’re you’re hands all sweaty?” Shigure asked as he pointed at the damp, pale palms.

“That seahorse was...,” Hatori said with a shaky breath, “...giving me THE look.”

Silence.

“Let me get this straight,” Ayame said as he tried to piece things together. “That seahorse was actually HITTING on you?”

“Worse,” Hatori whispered. By this time, he was curled up into a ball at the foot of his bed.

“How could it be worse?” Ayame asked.

“Masaka....” Shigure’s eyes widened as he looked at Hatori. His suspicions were confirmed when the latter gave him the slightest of nods.

“Wait here,” Shigure said as he got up. “The both of you – don’t move.”

Shigure walked over to the closet he’d commandeered and took out two cones. Walking back, he gave one cone to Ayame and kept the other. Hatori looked up to see what the two were up to....

*Poom, poom*

Confetti showered over a bewildered Hatori as Shigure jumped up and shook his hand.

“Omedetou gozaimasu.”

“Kono BAKA!!!” Hatori said as he swung at Shigure and missed. “I’ve just been impregnated by a SEAHORSE and all you could say is ‘omedetou gozaimasu’?!”

“Hontou?” Ayame said in surprise. “Ne, Hatori, should I start planning a baby shower? What motif would you like? Under the sea?”

Hatori was starting to get up from the spot on the floor where he’d landed after his failed attempt at getting at Shigure while the other two scampered away from him.

“Demo,” Shigure said seriously. “I wonder what the children would look like....”

Images of creatures with human tops and seahorse tails began to come to mind... and were eventually replaced with the more unappealing images of creatures with seahorse tops and human bottoms. Almost immediately, the two looked decidedly ill.

“Don’t. Even. Go. There.” Hatori said with all the menace he could possibly muster given the circumstances. “I trust the two of you the MOST, not to mention the fact that we’re family....”

“Say no more, Ha-san,” Shigure said as he patted Hatori’s shoulder. “I’ll find a way to get you out of this predicament.”

“Arigatou...,” Hatori began.

“But if we can’t, at least we’ll have an interesting addition to the family!” Shigure quipped.

“I was afraid you’d say that....” Hatori sighed.

“In the meantime,” Ayame interjected. “Would you prefer Pacific Ocean Blue or Atlantic Ocean Blue for the table napkins?”

“U-RU-SA-I!!!!!!”

***

It was one week after the seahorse incident and the group was back at home and back to their daily grind – back to work for Ayame, Hatori, and Shigure; and onto the next summer adventure for the younger Jyuunishi and Tohru.

Two days after that....

“Tadaima,” Shigure said as he stepped out of his shoes and into his slippers.

“Okaeri!” Momiji said, bounding over to give Shigure a hug. “Ne, Shigure, we’re going to Disneyland! Come with us! It’ll be fun! Please?”

“Disneyland, huh?” Shigure muttered and a rather mischievous smile came to his face as he thought of beautiful women in costume, and, since it was summer, of all the pretty girls in summer outfits that would surely be there. “When will you kids be going?”

“Saturday!” The blonde boy chirped happily.

“That’s in four days, right?” Shigure thought.

“Ano ne, do you think Hari would come too if I ask?”

Shigure thought about this as they walked into the house. “Hmm, Hatori could use the break. I don’t think it’ll be a problem, that is, if it’s okay with Akito.”

“Daijoubu! It’s practically a sure thing!”

Shigure smiled at the ecstatic expression on Momiji’s face.

That perfectly picturesque moment was shattered by shouts of baka-neko and baka-nezumi coming from the garden. <Seems like they’re at it again,> Shigure thought as he opened the screen to his office.

“Shigure-san, what’re those?”

“Ah, Tohru-kun, konnichiwa,” he greeted as he entered followed by Tohru and Momiji. The subject of Tohru’s query was the bunch of magazines and books tucked in under Shigure’s arm. He plopped them down on the table and they turned out to be on marine life. One rather thick book was about seahorses and sea dragons.

“Haa... kawaii!!” Momiji and Tohru exclaimed as they picked one up and were looking through pictures of jellyfishes, sea anemones, reef fish, and, of course, seahorses.

“Ne, Tohru look at this!” Momiji was holding up a picture of a leafy sea dragon. “Wouldn’t it be really cool if Hari looked like this instead?”

“Ahhh,” Tohru said as she looked at the delicate creature. “It looks rather unusual, but it’s very pretty. Shigure-san, are you going to be using this for a new book?”

“Ah... ha...,” Shigure agreed somewhat. It’d be better if they thought of it as such. “Ne, it does look pretty doesn’t it?”

“Hai!” The two exclaimed in unison. “Could you tell us about your new book, ne, ne?!”

“Ah, anou...,” Shigure stammered. <Not good, not good!> He detected a strange smell in the air. “Why does it smell like something’s burning...?”

“Sonna!” Tohru exclaimed as she ran for the kitchen followed by Momiji.

She’d forgotten about the dinner she was cooking.

Shigure thought as he closed the screen. <Tonikaku, time to get some reading done....>

***

“I’m surprised you actually came,” Shigure said to Hatori as they watched the teenagers scampering about as soon as they entered Disneyland.

“Anything to stop Ayame from badgering me about baby shower arrangements,” Hatori sighed. The dark circles under his eyes betrayed the fact that he hadn’t been sleeping well at all – probably since THE incident. “Have you found anything out yet?”

Shigure shook his head as they walked towards the shops where Momiji and Kagura were trying on hats and laughing. “I haven’t had that much of a chance to go through the materials that I’d got. What with having so many people coming in and out of the house. Still, I don’t understand why you couldn’t do any research on your own.”

“Work keeps me busy,” Hatori replied and he gave Tohru a smile when she tried on a Mickey Mouse hat with the big ears.

“Or are you just afraid of what you might find...?”

Hatori shot Shigure a withering glance and the latter made a beeline towards Kyou and Yuki for some teasing. <Still, I’m glad I came,> he thought as he watched them all having fun. <At least I won’t be thinking of IT for a few hours....>

“Hari-san, this is for you!”

Before Shigure could stop Momiji, the boy plunked a figurine of the herald from the Little Mermaid onto Hatori’s hands.

And it happened to be a light-colored seahorse.

One that looks disturbingly like the one he’d encountered in the ocean.

“Hari-san, I was hoping to find a brown one for you, but they didn’t have any. Tonikaku, this one looks a lot cuter than a brown one anyway, right? Are?” Momiji blinked as he looked at the stunned/slightly horrified expression on Hatori’s face. “Hari-san?”

<Mattaku,> Shigure thought as he guided Hatori out of the shop. Looks like things won’t be going as planned.

***

“Hari-san? Ne, Hari-san, are you angry with me?”

It was two days after the Disneyland fiasco. Shigure had told him that the reason why Hatori reacted that way was because no one had ever given him a gift like that before and that he was thankful from the bottom of his heart, but somehow, Momiji didn’t buy it. Seriously concerned, he’d hiked back up to the Souma main house to apologize.

“Ah, Momiji. Come in.” Hatori turned away from his desk and looked at the usagi Jyuunishi. He was more than a bit surprised to see Momiji so solemn.

“Anou, Hari-san, gomen. Hontou ni gomen nasai.” By this time, Momiji was trying to keep his tears back. “I don’t know what I did, but I’m really sorry! I’ll never do it again!” A tear glistened, struck by the light of the setting sun. “I just don’t want Hari-san to hate me....”

Hatori got up and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Daijoubu yo, Momiji,” he said smiling. “It wasn’t something you did. I just have a lot of things in my mind lately.” He got a piece of tissue from the box on his desk and wiped away his tears. “Don’t cry anymore, ne?”

“Un,” Momiji nodded as he gave Hatori a hug.

“So, how’re things at Shigure’s house?” Hatori said as the two of them sat by the rock garden sipping tea.

“Umm, okay, I guess,” Momiji answered. “Tohru-chan’s asking if you’ll be visiting any time soon. I think she wants to cook something for you. Kyou’s fighting with Hatsuharu when he’s not fighting with Yuki....”

“I take it things are pretty normal down there.”

“Mochiron!” Momiji replied with a smile. “Ah! Shigure’s working on a new book! I think it’s a fantasy novel this time....”

“What makes you say that?” Hatori said as he gingerly sipped his tea.

“Because he’s been reading a lot on seahorses and sea dragons.”

Hatori almost spat out the tea at that comment. “So... sou ka.”

“Un,” Momiji confirmed. “He was nice enough to let me look at the pictures and he even let me read some of the stuff,” he added excitedly. “Did you know that the male seahorse is the one that gets pregnant? And that the pregnancy lasts anywhere from two to three weeks?”

Hatori paled almost immediately and began counting with his fingers. <It’s been... fifteen days.> He tried to recall the things that had happened since the incident.

And summarily recalled the sudden bout of nausea he’d had a few days ago.

He cast a withering glance at his stomach. He could’ve sworn that his pants were starting to feel a little tight....

“Hari-san, daijoubu?” Momiji asked when Hatori started to look a little green.

“Ah, ee...,” Hatori replied. “Momiji, maybe I’ll take up Honda-kun’s offer. Why don’t we go back together?”

Momiji visibly brightened at that. “Un! Let’s go!”

***

“Shigure!”

The inu Jyuunishi looked up from his computer and gave Hatori a “yo” in greeting and resumed his typing.

Annoyed at his reaction, Hatori slammed the shoji screen shut and sat in front of him trying to stay calm. He began speaking in a voice laced with barely controlled anger, and more than a touch of panic.

“Momiji told me that the pregnancy lasts from two to three weeks.”

“Hai.” Shigure replied, still typing away.

“It’s been fifteen days since.”

“Hai.” Still typing.

“Is there anything else you’d LIKE to tell me?”

“Hai.” This time, Shigure looked away from the screen long enough to make solid eye contact with Hatori. “Did you know that labor lasts for about two days?”

Hatori’s eyes widened in horror. “Uso....”

“Uso ja nai yo!” Shigure exclaimed as he held up a book. “It says so right here! Look!”

The book’s title was “The Encyclopedia of Seahorses and Sea Dragons.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I never said it was,” Shigure answered. “I just thought you’d like to know.”

“There you are!”

The two of them looked up in time to see Ayame enter Shigure’s office with a large folder tucked under his arm. In all seriousness, he turned to Hatori and plunked the folder onto the table.

“I need you to take a look at these,” Ayame said grimly. Inside the folder were several cloth swatches and catalogues, one of which smelled a little damp. Ayame picked up the said-catalogue and showed it to Hatori. “What size aquarium do you think you’ll need? Also, I need you to decide on the color of the privacy screen that you’ll be using should the baby shower suddenly turn into ‘labor day.’ Oh yeah, the napkins I ordered arrived earlier. Since you couldn’t decide between Pacific and Atlantic, I got half of each and half of those have been embossed with silver and the other half with gold seahorse-motif. I think they came out pretty good actually....”

Before Hatori could react, the shoji screen door slammed open revealing a gaggle of surprised and chatty teens.

Yuki looked at Ayame and said, “I think I heard you say the words ‘baby shower.’ Did someone hire you to plan one?”

“Ne, Ayame, is the baby going to be a girl or a boy?” Momiji asked excitedly.

“Wah! Who’s having a baby?!” Tohru exclaimed.

At that comment, Ayame and Shigure’s collective gazes turned to the now almost-catatonic Hatori earning a loud exclamation of “USO DA YO!!” from the younger Jyuunishi.

“But, but, how could that BE?” Kyou shouted, his eyes wide.

“What I’d like to know,” Hatsuharu said, “is WHEN did all this happen.”

“More importantly,” Yuki stated, his face grim. “Does Akito know about this?”

“Ne, Hatori-san,” Tohru began hesitantly. “Do we... know her?”

At that comment, Ayame and Shigure dissolved into fits of laughter while the other Jyuunishi looked on, thoroughly confused. Hatori, on the other hand, was finding the situation less and less amusing.

“I think the reason why they’re laughing is because Hari-san’s actually the one who’s pregnant,” Momiji said as the events of the past few days started to make sense.

“EH?!”

Momiji continued, holding a finger up, “because male seahorses are the ones that get pregnant. Ne, Hari-san?”

By this time, Hatori wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

***

“That seems like a rather odd request, Shigure.”

Shigure looked at Akito seriously as he recounted the events of the previous day. Hatori, physically and emotionally drained had shut himself up in his room and is being cared for by Tohru who had said....

“You should lie down and rest, Hatori-san. Stress isn’t going to be good for the baby... or should I say babies? Mou... what do you call baby seahorses?!”

Shigure couldn’t begin to imagine how bad Hatori must’ve felt at that comment.

“It’s very important that I access the family histories, Akito,” Shigure said as he bowed. “It concerns the well-being of Hatori.”

Akito’s eyes soften slightly at the mention of Hatori’s name. “Very well, you have my permission.”

“Domo arigatou gozaimashita.”

***

<Maybe this wasn’t a very good idea,> Shigure thought as he looked at the stacks of books that reached the ceiling. Taking one dusty tome after another, he was starting to question the wisdom of going through the family histories trying to look for a clue as to what would happen to Hatori....

Many sneezes and about 70 volumes of Jyuunishi history later....

“Hmm...,” Shigure mused as he tapped his hand over a passage written almost 200 years ago. “Interesting. VERY interesting....” He slammed the book shut sending a cloud of dust straight towards his face. Coughing and waving away the offensive cloud, he walked over to a shelf and returned the book.

<This time, it looks like the words ‘what one doesn’t know can’t hurt him’ would apply,> he thought as he closed the door to the library. <Tonikaku, it’ll be even more fun from now on!>

With that, he walked back the way he came whistling as he imagined what would be in store for the next few days.

***

Day 21.

Ayame had commandeered the main hall of the Souma house for Hatori’s ‘baby shower’ party. He had enlisted the help of the other Jyuunishi in putting up the decorations. On the center buffet table was an ice sculpture of an adult seahorse surrounded by small ones. The food for the event was courtesy of Tohru, who had read over Shigure’s material and prepared... appropriate food for the occasion. Her usual stews were there, of course, and there is an abundance of onigiri with strips of nori mixed in with the rice. She’d prepared special dishes consisting of shrimp and crustaceans, hoping that by giving Hatori ‘natural’ seahorse food, it’ll lessen the nausea attacks that he’s been prone to lately.

“Aya-chan, where do you want the aquarium?” Kagura called over from the door as she pulled the cart holding the VERY large aquarium inside.

“Oh, it got here on time!” Ayame said as he looked at the massive glass container. “Ne, you can just drag it over to the platform and ask Kyou and Hatsuharu to help you with it, ne?”

“Hai, hai!” Kagura sang out. “Kyou-kun~~~!!!”

Ayame stepped back to look at his handiwork. Sea-blue drapes covered the walls completely and the lights they had set up, combined with the fans aimed at the cloth made the walls look like rolling waves. A huge sign saying “Omedetou Gozaimasu” hung over the buffet table. Kisa had insisted on helping and came up with a disc of music for the event. At the moment, “Under The Sea” from the Little Mermaid was playing and Ayame made a mental note to delete that from the playlist lest it send Hatori on a rampage. Yuki and Momiji were busy pinning the last of the plastic seashells onto the drapes and Ayame just LOVED the way they reflected the light. <Much better than a disco ball,> he though.

“Aya-chan, we’re done!” Kagura called.

“Excellent!” Ayame replied.

They began filling the aquarium bottom with stalks of fresh kelp weighed down by rocks. That done, specially formulated seawater was added along with tiny shrimps.

“After all, we wouldn’t want the babies to be hungry, now would we?” Shigure had commented earlier when Ayame showed him the arrangements.

And the hebi Jyuunishi couldn’t agree more.

“Whaaa...,” Shigure said as he entered the hall. “Sugoi wa. Ayame, you outdid yourself.”

“Of course,” Ayame replied. “It’s not everyday that we’ll be having such a big addition to the family, ne?”

Shigure nodded as he watched Tohru and Kisa setting the tables. “Ne, Ayame, I really have to wonder what the children would look like....

Once again, insert images of human and seahorse hybrids. Only this time, everyone in the room was getting chills at the thought.

“Nonetheless,” Tohru said as soon as she recovered. “It wouldn’t matter, right? They’d still be family, right?”

Yuki and Kyou were exchanging equally nauseated looks at mere thought. Before they could offer their opinions, however, the door opened and....

“OMEDETOU GOZAIMASU!!!!”

Hatori froze at the doorway, very much unwilling to enter as he heard the last few bars of “Under the Sea” fading in the background. A very genki Shigure grabbed a hold of him and dragged him inside saying, “relax! Daijoubu! Remember, this party is FOR YOU!!!”

As soon as they reached the front of the room, Shigure coaxed everyone to start clapping... much to Hatori’s chagrin.

“So, what’s next?” Shigure asked expectantly as he looked at Ayame.

“Ne, Ha-chan, do you like the aquarium? Kyou-kun, Hatsuharu, and I decorated it!”

“Ah... ha....” Hatori replied as he looked at the aquarium. He was more than a little unnerved by the waving kelp since it reminded him too well of what’d happened.

“Ah, sou!” Everyone looked at Shigure who apparently had an idea. He placed his hands on Tohru’s shoulders and guided her over to Hatori. “Ne, Tohru-kun, shouldn’t you also offer your congratulations to Hatori?”

“Hai desu. Omedetou gozaimasu,” she said with a bow.

“Okay, now why don’t you give him a BIG hug!” And Shigure pushed Tohru into Hatori’s arms.

*Poom*

Hatori was now literally a fish out of water glaring up at Shigure.

“Don’t just stand there, throw him in!” Shigure said as a teary-eyed Tohru picked up Hatori.

“Ha... hai!”

*splash*

Everyone waited expectantly as they watched Hatori swimming in the aquarium as he glared at Shigure. It was a good fifteen minutes before anyone spoke.

“Ne, Shigure, when’s Hari going to give birth?” Momiji asked.

Inside the aquarium, Hatori was tapping the glass angrily with his snout.

“Hmm...,” Shigure muttered. “Maybe it WAS true.”

As if on cue, everyone turned to look at him and said, “nani wa?” in unison.

“Hatori~~~,” Shigure sang out from the other side of the glass. “I have good news: You’re not pregnant.”

“NANI?!” Hatori said as he began a new round of angry tapping from behind the glass.

“Hontou ni,” Shigure said. “Apparently, one of our ancestors had a similar experience some 200 years ago. At that time, he’d thought he would be giving birth to some kind of monster but after a few months with nothing happening, things eventually returned to normal. Apparently, it has something to do with the human body’s temperature being too high for the seahorse eggs to survive....”

*shii~~~~iiinnn*

“Shigure,” Ayame said as soon as he recovered from the revelation. “How long have you known this?”

“Oh, about five days already.”

*Poom*

The girls gave out a shriek and turned their backs towards the aquarium as Hatori, soaked, climbed out and made a beeline for his clothes.

“Shigure te me....”

Ayame looked around at the hall and sighed. “All that work wasted....”

“Not really,” Shigure quipped as he helped himself to some onigiri. “It’s still a celebration party: A celebration in realizing that we wouldn’t be adding an altogether new species into the family.”

“That’s true,” Ayame agreed.

“Actually, I AM feeling rather hungry....” Kyou began.

“And it would be a shame to waste the food Tohru-chan made...,” Momiji added.

“ITADAKIMASU!!!”

“I think Akito’s looking for me...,” Shigure said as he edged towards the door.

“Shigure, come back here!” Hatori called.

Ayame smiled as he watched Hatori give chase and listened to Shigure’s laughter ringing in the air. “Oh well, I guess all’s well that ends well.” Turning back to look at the buffet, “hey! Don’t finish the onigiri!”

********** The End **********

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GLOSARRY & other cultural notes

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1.) Hontou ni daijobu? = "Are you OK?" more of "Are you really ok?"

2.) Kawaii = Cute

3.) inu = dog *woof woof*

4.) masaka = "Could it be-"

5.) Omedetou gozaimasu = "Congratulations!" (nyehehehehe)

6.) kono baka = "Stupid!" (too polite trans.) "Idiot!" (hrmm...)

7.) Hontou = "really?"

8.) Demo = "but"

9.) Arigatou/domo arigatou gozaimasu = "thanks / thank you very much."

10.) URUSAI = "Shut up."

11.) Tadaima = "I'm home"

12.) Okaeri = "welcome home!"

13.) Ano ne = "Well..."

14.) daijobu = "Alright!" or "OK!" / daijobu yo = "It's okay"

15.) konnichiwa = "hello!"

16.) Sonna = "Oh my-"

17.) tonikaku = "Anyway-"

18.) Mattaku = "good grief"

19.) Gomen = "sorry"

20.) Uso = "You're lying." / Uso ja nai yo = "I'm not lying!" / Uso da yo = "It can't be true"

21.) Nori - this is actually seaweed dried. That dark green thing that covers makis. ^_^ and other wrapped sushi

22.) Hai = "yes."

23.) hebi = "snake"

24.) Sugoi wa = "This is great!"

25.) NANI = "what?"

26.) te me = "you... [insert 'bad words' here]"

27.) Itadakimasu = what the japanese say before they eat.

28.) usagi = rabbit